This is the second installment in my Speak Now compilation. I don't own Harry Potter or Sparks Fly, but hey I can dream right?
Special thanks to chewinggumandpencils for betaing.
The way you move is like a full-on rainstorm
And I'm a house of cards
I leaned against the door of the Head Girl dormitory and breathed out slowly. I'd just barely escaped James again. Not that there was anything wrong with James. In fact quite the opposite. Over the past year he'd grown tolerable, even civil. It was absolutely bizarre. He hadn't even asked me out since last year. Last year!
You're the kind of reckless that should
Send me running but
I kinda know that I won't get far
He'd also grown up a lot too. True, his gang did still prank from time to time, but honestly, in this war, we almost needed them. Still, some reasonable part of me, the Head Girl part, always yelled at me for appreciating those pranks. They were just proof, after all that I should be running as far away as I could get. I sighed again and walked away, running my fingers through my hair. Is this what I'd become? Running my fingers though my hair instead of running away from James?
Knock knock knock
Oh no, please don't let that be James. Please tell me it's Alice or Marlene or-
"Hey Lily it's just me."
Shit, it was him
And you stood there in front of me
Just close enough to touch
Close enough to hope you couldn't see what I was thinking of
I walked back over to the door and opened up it up enough to talk to him.
"Yes James?" I replied simply, begging my voice not to betray me,
"I just wanted to remind you I can't patrol with you at the end of the week. You know, because of Remus." I nodded; James would be helping Remus with his transformations. Of course I had remembered that. Why did it have to be full moons that James missed? Why couldn't he stroll though the castle with me during a full moon every now and then- wait. What was I thinking?
"You alright, Lily?" He asked, snapping me out of it. Oh no, how long was I distracted for? Could he tell what was I thinking? Oh, please say no!
Drop everything now
Meet me in the pouring rain
Kiss me on the sidewalk
Take away the pain
"Huh? Oh yeah, I remember. But thanks for reminding me James." I said quickly.
"You sure you're alright Lily? You seem kind of out of it." No the most gorgeous boy at Hogwarts is literally at my doorstep and he refuses to ask me out any more even though everyone except him seems to know that I'd say yes now! I'm just peachy!
"Yeah I'm fine just um, homework know you I mean you know." Merlin, this was embarrassing. Of course, he could always take away this embarrassment with a kiss… Ugh, Lily focus! I smiled at James to help convince him that I was okay.
Cause I see sparks fly
Whenever you smile
He looked back at me and smiled. Oh man, that was a nice smile! How had I never noticed it before? I looked over his shoulder to help me focus. Oh great. Now he's running his fingers though his hair. Is he just trying to taunt me now?
"Well um, I was wondering if you could actually help me a bit with charms. You're really good at them, and I could just use a little help."
Wait is he asking me to help him with charms? I mean, true I'm the best in our class, but me!? I looked him in the eyes.
Get me with those green eyes baby
As the lights go down
Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around
Oh boy. That was a big mistake! I'd somehow forgotten (again) that he has the most stunning eyes ever! There this hazel you see, but there are these little flecks of another color too… What is it? Could it be gold? Does he really have gold eyes?
"I mean, I was just wondering. You don't have to if you don't want to." Wait, was he pulling back his offer? Say something Lily!
"I'll do it." I said really, really, quickly, "I mean, sure, since you're asking and all." Yeah, keep it cool and casual. Don't think about how you're in a dimly lit common room… all alone… with James Potter… and his gorgeous hair… that's just begging to have someone run their fingers through it… maybe your fingers?... SNAP OUT OF IT LILY!
Cause I see sparks fly
Whenever you smile
"Great, can we do it tomorrow though? Sirius had been bugging me about ditching them and I was going to sleep in the Gryffindor Common Room tonight." I nodded. "Alright, it's a date." He said with another one of those amazing smiles. He turned around, heading toward the door and went on his own way. I closed the door and leaned up against it again,
"Yeah, sure, it's a date." I said, slightly hopeful and thinking of his amazing smile
My mind forgets to remind me
You're a bad idea
The next day I was very, very, nervous. James hadn't mentioned when exactly he wanted to practice so I'd moved my work to the head common room so that we could work whenever he wanted too. There wasn't much work being done though, my poor ancient runes translations were coming in second to my anticipation of James coming down stairs. A million worries were going through my head. Did my hair look okay? Was there something in my teeth? Did my breath smell okay? What if I couldn't do my charms? What if his being here messed them all up and I had to tell him I couldn't do them because his amazingness was ruining it for me? Oh lord, please no!
"Hey Lily." he said suddenly. I snapped out of my little freak out and looked up at him,
"Oh, hi James." I said giving him a half smile, "Do you want to start practicing now or…?"
"It's okay, you can finish what you're working on." he said sitting down on one of the couches and taking a Quidditch magazine off the table next to it. Of course, I am perfectly capable of finishing what I'm working on while you're sitting there, that should be easy! I wanted to tell him that, but I bit my tongue and nodded,
"Yeah thanks."
Alright Lily the faster you finish, the faster you get to work with James. Now focus. If 4th year me could see me now, she'd be screaming her head off. Thankfully, it seemed to be past her bedtime. Meaning there was no 14-year-old Lily reminding me that James Potter is a bad idea. Ah focus!
You touch me once and it's really something
You find I'm even better than
You imagined I would be
I finished those translations faster then I think I ever have. I guess Professor was right; it's all about having the right motivation.
"Alright, I'm ready now." I said. James put the Quidditch magazine down and sat up, "What exactly do you need help with?" I asked.
"Well I kind of get the Bubble Head Charm, but I'm not 100% with it. Think you can help me?" he asked while running his fingers through his hair. It almost looked like he was nervous or something,
"Yeah I can definitely do that." I promised, "Why don't you try it first?" I suggested. James stood up and pulled out his wand.
" Videlicet aer." he said while drawing a circle around his head. A bubble appeared for a moment, but soon popped around him, "I get it for a little bit, but not for any long periods." He explained. It made sense, his circle was lopsided.
"Well how about if you just focus on the words and I'll guide your hand." I suggested, wrapping my hand around his. Oh, that felt quite nice.
"Well, alright." he said and closed his eyes. I brought his wand right under his chin.
"Go ahead." I said softly.
"Videlict aer." he said while I drew an almost perfect circle around his face. The charm took place and when he opened his eyes it stayed. 3 seconds, 5 seconds, 10 seconds.
"Yes that's it!" he said excitedly, jumping up and popping it. "Lils, you're the best!" Did he just call me Lils? Is that my nickname now? James Potter just gave me a nickname!
"Yes, now try it all on your own." I said. He calmed down, exhaled, and tried again,
"Videlict aer." he said while drawing a wonderful circle. 3 seconds, 5 seconds, 10 seconds.
"That's it!" he said, "I've really got it." He popped it with his wand.
"Yeah I think you do." I said smiling,
"Aw Lils, you're amazing." He stepped forward and hugged me. James Potter was hugging me! Wait, what do I do? Hug him back? Right! Hug him back! I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and neck. He was really a good hugger, strong but not bone crushing. It really felt quite nice. This wonderful moment was interrupted by an owl pecking at the window. Figures. He pulled away from me and said,
"Here I'll get it." I sighed as he walked away. I sat down on the couch, suddenly very cold, and wrapped my arms around myself. That hug had felt so good. "Lily it's your owl." He told me. Are we back to Lily too? I actually kind of liked Lils... James brought my owl over to me; even she'd noticed the change in my behavior. She used to claw James, now she sat easily on his arm as if I'd always let him carry her around. On her leg was a note from my mother,
"Thanks Rowena." I said, rubbing my nose against her, "Why don't you head on back to the Owlery?" I raised my arm and she flew out the window toward the Hogwarts Owlery.
"Rowena?" James asked.
"Yes, when I was a first year I thought for sure I was going to be sorted into Ravenclaw, well Ravenclaw or Slytherin but that was only because of…" I let the sentence die; there was no need to bring up Snape in front of James. Plus I didn't really want to bring up Sev, not now or ever.
I'm on my guard for the rest of the world, but with you
I know it's no good
"You still kind of miss him don't you?" James asked quietly,
"Huh? Miss who?" I asked avoiding the question.
"Snive- er I mean Severus." Why was he bringing it up now?
"What? That old jerk? No, I mean, who would miss him?" I said in a tone that really wasn't convincing me, let alone James. He moved a little closer on the couch, and set his hand gently on my shoulder.
"You know, it's really okay to miss him." He said, "I mean, he was one of your best friends right?"
"I… well yeah kind of…" I said honestly, still avoiding looking at James, "Not my very best friend, of course, but he was the one who told me I'm a witch."
"Then its okay, it's really okay. From your point of view, it's awful that he turned out this way." I glanced over at James, who seemed to be getting a little closer. "But you're never going to feel any better if you just keep pushing it away." I finally looked over at James, "It's really okay to talk about it, Lily, and I'm here if you want me to listen." I swallowed as he reached up and brushed a piece of my hair out of my face so that I could see him clearly.
And I could wait patiently
But I really wish you would
What if I didn't want to talk about it right now? What if right now the main thought on my mind is how close you are to me?
"Nothing to talk about, really." I said quietly. My eyes darted down to his lips, they really were quite nice. I wonder what it would feel like to kiss them. "We just grew apart you know? I probably could have, maybe even should have seen it coming, but I didn't want to." My voice was a mere whisper now. James needed to hurry up and kiss me!
Drop everything now
Meet me in the pouring rain
Kiss me on the sidewalk
Take away the pain
James caught my eye and then for some odd reason started to move away. AH. Wait no! Don't do that! Why are you doing that? He moved an acceptable distance away.
"It's really not your fault. He's the one who mucked it all up." He said in a normal voice.
"I know, but he was still my best friend." We were silent for what seemed like forever.
Cause I see sparks fly
Whenever you smile
James smiled and broke the silence easily.
"Well, I'll let you read your letter. Do you think you could help me again tomorrow night?" he asked.
"I um, yeah yeah probably." I said, recovering from the shock of being closerthanthis to kissing James Potter.
Get me with those green eyes baby
As the lights go down
James looked me right in the eyes and smiled again.
"Thanks again Lily, it really just seemed easier with you." He stood up, and picked up his bag. "Maybe you just don't make me as jumpy as Flitwick does." He said with a laugh. Glad to know one of us wasn't jumpy. I stood up with my letter in my hands.
"I'm just glad I could help." I said with a smile as I rolled up my ancient runes translations. I glanced at the clock over his shoulder, just after 9. "I think I'm gonna head up to my room. You know, read a little, then get some sleep."
"Yeah, that sounds like a good plan." James said. He looked up at me, biting his lip. Was he going to kiss me now?
Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around
Cause I see sparks fly
Whenever you smile
He took a step forward; oh he was going to kiss me! Instead, he somewhat awkwardly wrapped his arms around me again. I returned his hug and he relaxed a bit. My head rested nicely on his shoulder and I lightly rubbed my check against him. Why did he have to smell so good? It was like summer and cinnamon, and it was amazing.
I'll run my fingers through your hair
And watch the lights go wild
I easily caught sight of his hair, remembering how much I wanted to run my hands through it earlier. 'Come on Evens, where's that Gryffindor courage?' I challenged myself. I slowly reached my hand up and ran my fingers gently through his hair. It was incredibly soft and felt really, really good.
"Hey James" I whispered.
"Yes Lily?"
"You can keep calling me Lils, you know."
"I'd like that." he told me after a moment.
Just keep on keeping your eyes on me
It's just wrong enough to make it feel right
He leaned back a bit, still holding me but now looking at me with those brilliant eyes. It felt wonderful, in a way I'd never thought James would make me feel. So very wrong in the back of mind, but somehow that made it alright. He looked at me, biting his lip as though he was fighting something.
"Are you still going up to your room?" he asked softly,
And lead me up the staircase
Won't you whisper soft and slow
"Walk me up there?" I asked. He nodded, walking alongside me up to the top of the staircase. It wasn't like in the House Common Rooms. Since it was just the two of us, the founders decided modesty could take a backseat if the Head Girl had been injured and needed someone to come up and help her. We got to the top and James turned to me.
"Good night Lils." he said in a soft voice, and turned around to head up to his dormitory.
I'm captivated by you baby like a fireworks show
I put my hand on the doorknob, fully intending to turn it and go inside, but my eyes were drawn back to James walking down the stairs and back up to his room. His hand hit the doorknob.
"Hey James." He turned and looked at me.
Drop everything now
I ran down the stairs,
Meet me in the pouring rain
Up his staircase so I was standing by him,
Kiss me on the sidewalk
Wrapped my arms around his neck again,
Take away the pain
Felt his hands slide around to my back,
Cause I see sparks fly
Leaned forward, and kissed him as hard as I'd wanted to all night.
Whenever you smile
He smiled against me, kissing me back and pulling me close.
Get me with those green eyes baby
As the lights go down
Oh, that was a remarkable kiss. He very gently moved his lips against me, but pulled me against him with a fierce urgency. His hands moved up to the edges of my hair, gently wrapping it around his fingers.
Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around
Cause I see sparks fly
Whenever you smile
When we both pulled back, he was grinning.
"You could have done that all evening." I told him.
"Then let me make up for missed chances." he said, smirking, and pulled me toward him again.
Sparks fly, oh baby smile
And the sparks fly