So I LOVED Owen and Cristina, but I am slowly starting to love the possibility of Owen and Amelia. This is my first Grey's fanfic, but I just had it in my head.
He fights it, fights his feelings.
All he seems to be doing is fighting lately. He's fighting against his memories, fighting against his hopes and dreams, thoughts of Cristina and him and family. He fights the images that will never happen, fights so that he won't drown in them.
Now he fights her, fights Amelia, fights new images in his head, images that have no place there. Not now, not yet, not when his heart and soul can still feel the lingering phantom of another woman.
Still, there is something about her, something he doesn't want to fight. He is so tired of fighting.
With each glance she unknowingly breaks his resolve, defeats him in a battle she isn't even aware of, a war they are both meant to lose.
It was awkward at first. Still is if he is honest. Talking with her is awkward, yet right somehow, uncoordinated yet charming. He doesn't want to fight her. He doesn't want to fight the visions in his mind, doesn't want to shake off her smiling face, her graceless words.
He kisses her, and something about that is more terrifying than he'd expected, something screams at him that he shouldn't while another screams he should. He doesn't fight the dreams that come after, doesn't push the thoughts and images from his mind. No, instead he revels in them, pretends he can be happy in this little place with these happy thoughts for this short while.
It isn't until the surgery, her surgery, Herman's surgery, that he realizes he does want to fight. He wants to fight for her, with her. He does not want to fight against her, does not want to fight the feelings that bubble up when he sees her.
He'll talk to her later, after everything is over, after Herman wakes up, he'll talk to her then. She shouldn't have taken off that glove, shouldn't have exposed herself, and part of him respects her for it, stares at her in awe, but another part of him loathes her actions. He tries not to dwell on the fact that mostly, mostly he loathes how terrified he felt in that moment.
He wants to grab onto control, wants to tug at it, grip it tight so that he can protect, save, so he can keep the people he wants to keep close. She took that from him in that moment, took any control he had when she removed that glove, and it strikes him as odd that he thought he ever had any control to begin with. It was an illusion, a lie.
He lets it fade now, lets that desperate need for control loosen in his grasp, and he tells her not to do it again, tells her it is too risky to expose herself like that. She listens, nods, but he doesn't believe for a minute that she wouldn't do it all over again. She terrifies him, excites him, and he won't keep fighting her.
He wants to fight with her.
Well? Liked it? Didn't like it? Let me know, and come find me over on tumblr as whitebuddah0524 (I need more Grey's blogs to follow) :) Thanks!