Author's Note: One-shot focusing on the (non-canon) death of Uchiha Sasuke. Not great. Just randomness.
The time was now.
It was the end of his life long struggle. All he could do was wait as he went from one hell to another, all of his goals unaccomplished.
The distinct smell of smoke filled his mouth and clouded his mind. Dark red blood, his blood, dripped down his face and arms, mixing with sweat and dirt as it made its way to the forest ground below. Raven hair covered coal black eyes like a curtain protecting a person from light, and he had no strength left to push them away.
Ironic. He always protected himself from the light. From salvation. From his only friends. He wrapped himself in the familiar. In the past. And he had no strength to push that protection away.
He was going to leave this world soon. Leave this place forever. And thinking was all he could do. Think about the past. Think about the present. Think about the future he had wanted so badly.
He was a failure. A complete and utter failure. He couldn't avenge his family. He couldn't rebuild his clan. He wasn't even able to…to atone for his sins.
What would his old team do when they realized he was dead? Sasuke didn't even want to imagine it, but knew he could do nothing else. Would Sakura become like him? Would she become an avenger and meet this same fate? Would Naruto give up his goals? Would he fall into darkness as well?
Maybe he was deluding himself. He wasn't that important. He'd given them no reason to mourn his absence.
Sasuke tried to focus only on the noise around him and the feel of the hard tree trunk where his back leaned against.
Naruto and Sakura shouldn't care. They wouldn't care. They should've forgotten all about him now and started new lives. They had a new teammate. He was no longer in their hearts anymore. He was no longer wanted. His death would affect no one. All it meant was that the Uchiha clan would be gone from this place…forever.
Pain shot through his body like lightning. He felt like he was burning. Burning alive. How long does it take a person to die? He wished he could look up at the sky. But he had no strength to do anything and his head was left dangling forward.
More irony. The person he sought to kill was the one who killed him. Itachi. His own brother was finally done with him. Done with having a little brother to play with. Sasuke would never really understand the reason behind the Uchiha massacre or the reason he was left alive. He wasn't sure he wanted to know.
The fight between the two Uchiha brothers was such a blur now. He didn't remember how his own sword struck him in the chest with powerful force. He didn't remember the last words his brother whispered before retreating from the battle field. He didn't even remember how he managed to sit himself up and lean against the tree.
All he remembered was the look in Itachi's obsidian eyes and he was sure that he would never forget it even after death.
What would his life have been like if Itachi never massacred the Uchiha clan? It was a thought that had haunted him throughout his existence and had come back to haunt him at the end. Would his dad be proud of him? Would he have met Naruto and Sakura? Would he have made that bond with them?
It was a mystery.
In the back of his mind he felt a pang of guilt. He had caused so much pain to those two. But they should have known better. He told Sakura not to concern herself with him anymore. He told Naruto to give up. They were headstrong. Annoying. But…the reasonable part of his mind knew that they were also good friends.
His only friends.
Was he really going to leave like this? Leave without anyone knowing or caring. Leave without being able to…to apologize.
Why?
He wished Naruto was here. He wished that Naruto and Sakura and Kakashi could be with him, helping him. It might've made this adventure more bearable.
He felt like a fool and a demon. Or a hopeless child who could get no help. He was angry and sad and regretful. To tell the truth, he was scared of death. Scared out of his mind. If only he had been killed instantly. That would've made this simple. But his death dragged on, torturing him with grim satisfaction.
Maybe he could finish it. Finish what his brother had started.
He glanced at the sword that jetted out from his chest. His blood had stained the weapon and it shimmered in the light, looking almost like a jewel. Maybe if he could reach up and grab it…he could end his own life.
Hard coughs erupted from his swollen throat and tore his attention away from suicide. Sasuke felt the crimson red liquid, congesting his mouth, trickle down his chin. He groaned in agony, trying his best to lift his head up, but to no avail.
His suicide plan flew away with the wind that brought whispers to ears.
Weakness.
He was weak in so many ways. Even after all he'd done, all he'd been through to get this strong, he was still so weak. Nothing could change that he supposed.
He vaguely wondered if Naruto could defeat Itachi. Maybe with Sakura he could cause some injuries, but kill him? It couldn't be possible. He didn't even believe the Hokage could do that, whoever the women was anyways.
Raindrops pattered on top of him steadily. His wounds stung as the salty water trickled over them and his gaze once again focused on the sword piercing his body. Numbness engulfed him eagerly and he welcomed it willingly enough. It was better than being in pain.
He had never imagined his death this way. Never. He'd always believed that he would die peacefully, surrounded with the thoughts and cares of his clan. His restored clan.
In a hard to accept way, he had underestimated Itachi. He was so sure that he would be able to kill his brother after going to Orochimaru.
He didn't regret leaving Konoha. Not at all actually. He regretted being cocky and prideful. It was the most unintelligent thing he did.
All he needed in order to have power, in order to kill, was hatred.
If he had focused on his hatred, instead of being so arrogant, he probably wouldn't be here right now. He wouldn't be dying. He wouldn't be going through this torture.
The torture of knowing you were going to die and yet, since your death is being prolonged, you almost want to live.
Or the opposite. You desperately want to kill yourself because you know that's the only way you'll have peace. The only way you can be…happy.
He felt a flash of pain rise up his arm. Screaming, he tore it away from the ground and it landed clumsily on the handle of the sword.
Panting, he gazed in amazement at his bloody hand.
Maybe…there was something he needed to do before he died. Maybe…he was being kept alive for a reason.
He struggled to grip the sword tighter in order to pull it out. He only wanted to end this anguish as quick as possible.
His heart pounded violently in his chest, causing more blood to spill down the corners of his cold lips, before slowing down even more.
Death. It was closer now. So closed that he could almost smell it, touch it, feel it.
His hand slipped uselessly to the side, ending another one of his suicide attempts. He might as well deal with the agony. It seemed that this was meant to happen anyways.
Sasuke felt himself choking on the crimson liquid in his throat. "Why?" he croaked out. "Why won't you even let me die in peace?"
His vision blurred and a lightheadedness washed over him for a moment. He caught a flash of pink through his peripheral vision. Was Sakura there?
Groaning, he knew that his eyes were playing tricks on him. Sakura couldn't be here. No one could.
Cold fingers tightened around a kunai as unpleasant sensations engulfed him once again. He pulled the weapon out of his thigh, blood trickling down to the ground like a stream.
Thoughts of Team Seven filled his hazy mind. Sakura's smiling face, Naruto's big grin.
He recalled the tears in their eyes as he left Konoha. Their broken voices asking his reasons and telling him to stay. He remembered Kakashi's lecture and the sadness in his eyes. If he could somehow make it up to them, maybe death wouldn't be that bad. Maybe the only reason he was scared of dying was because of the ones he's hurt. He never asked for forgiveness. But, he didn't want to either. All he wanted to do was give them the relief they deserved.
He didn't want to hurt them again with his death.
Sasuke felt his body grow heavier, weaker. Without hesitation, he bit his lip and plunged the kunai into his thigh. The pain would keep him awake and alert enough to finish this task.
He jerked himself to the right, his back landing roughly on the muddy ground below.
Shaking his head to clear his vision, he tightened his grip as much as possible and raised the kunai up to the tree. Unsteadily, he began etching onto the bark.
He bit his lip in order to keep himself focused during this time and when the task was finally completed he felt somewhat better. The pain had lessened up.
The kunai slipped out of his bloody hand and his eyelids drooped down. Half-lidded coal black eyes stared at the tree in wonder.
In the mist of his clouded mind, he wished that he could go to where his mother was. He wanted to see his parents, his clan. He wanted to go to that place because…because he knew that Team Seven would join him there in the future.
Maybe he would go there. Maybe he had atoned for his sins by the etching on the tree.
Maybe, just maybe, he had and will be forgiven. And maybe…he'd be able to see Sakura cry tears of joy instead of sadness.
His heart slowed to a stop and he smiled. His adventure was over and another would begin. Whether good or bad he was just satisfied knowing that someone would find him and the carving on the tree.
After all, Itachi had lured him to the forests of Konoha. His life started there and now, it would end there as well.
He watched the movement of the clouds in peace until his entire world went black.
The rain began to fall in earnest, rolling down the inscription on the wood of a large tree stained with blood.
"I'm sorry."