Delfino Mayhem!!
By TRUE Unknown
Disclaimer: We all know about the "I don't own Smash Bros. Melee", and the "Nor do I own Mario Sunshine or Yu-Gi-Oh!"; and so... get outta here!
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This is the long awaited sequel to "Revenge Union"! (I suggest you read up on it to understand the storyline), and the Smashers are heading off to Isle Delfino, hopefully, to relax, and the such...
But what some may find relaxing, others may find this perfect... for REVENGE!!
So let's get on with it...
^.^
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(KFC Prison. This is where chickens and other fowl go before they are graded, and sentenced to be $4.99 in a Chicken Twister Combo, for example. An explosion occurs. Falco is being chased by two guards. So this is what Colonel Sanders has been hiding all these years.)
One guy: Stop him!! Don't let him get away!!
Another guy: Stop yelling, dammit! I'm right next to you.
Falco: You won't take me alive, bird-mongers! (Falco fires his blaster to stun the two men chasing him) Now, I have to get out of this place...
A Chicken: (whispering) Hey, F-Falco. (Falco takes notice) They confiscated your Arwing, and its in t-the main lot.
Falco: (smiling) Thanks, Chicken.
A Chicken: Don't forget our p-promise, Lombardi!
Falco: Right! I get my Arwing; I set the others free!
A Chicken: Damn straight! I'll buy some--(gets shot by a guy) B-BAWK!!!
Falco: (dramatic music playing in the background) CHICKEN!!!
One guy: Alright! He'll be 'Popcorn Chicken'! (gets shot in the head) Ow...
(Falco heads toward the main lot, and he gets his Arwing back. [Why take his Arwing in the first place? I don't know] Once in the air, he destroys the KFC Prison, and all the other chickens charge out of there)
Falco: (to himself) There... it's done... if only Chicken were here to see this.
A Chicken: (loud as day) I'M NOT D-DEAD, DUMBASS!!
Falco: (avenging tone) Bowser, Ness, and Nana, when I find you, you'll prepare to die. (flies off into the night)
--
(The ruins of KaibaCorp in Domino City. It appears that Luigi is having problems trying to talk some peace with CEO Seto Kaiba.)
Luigi: Look, I was-a attacked by an airship, and it was not-a my fault that I destroyed your company!
Seto Kaiba: Frankly, I don't care. You destroyed my company, it will take millions to repair the damage, and that means that me, and my little brother will be poor once again. (smiling evilly) But at least, the only thing I can have, is a little revenge. (snaps fingers)
(from the ashes rise one of the Yu-Gi-Oh!'s most powerful cards: the Blue Eyes White Dragon. On it was Seto's little brother, Mokuba. It looks like it is ready to fire.)
Luigi: (panicking) WHAT-A THE FUCK!? I THOUGHT--
Seto: You think too much.
Mokuba: BLAST HIM!
(The BEWD breathes out raw energy that sends Luigi flying)
Luigi: (screaming) NOT AGAIN!!! (ding)
Seto: Who says it's over? AFTER HIM! (The BEWD and Mokuba start to take off) HEY! Don't forget me! (jumps onto the taking-off dragon)
--
(A hyper-speed jet plane is going along nicely and heading to the nice and tropical Island Delfino. The Smashers are making themselves comfortable and letting the slowly ticking minutes pass by as they talk and play games)
Fox: (to himself) When I see Sonic, he, along with those other three idiots, will suffer...
Link: What are you bitching at? Me and Zelda were almost torn apart by ReDeads!
Mr. Game and Watch: BEEP beep beep beep BEEP!! [I almost spontaneously combusted here!!]
Peach: That's bloody nonsense! I was crapping for hours on end because of Ex-Lax Brownies!!
Ganondorf: I was trapped in a room of Teletubbies
memorabilia!! And the emotional scars still won't heal! (starts crying)
Mewtwo: We were trapped in a net! (Pikachu and Jigglypuff agree)
Pichu: Pi! Pi chu pi pi!! [I was scared by a chainsaw and hockey mask]
Marth: Humiliated in front of hundreds of people!
Young Link: I was attacked by Ness and Starman because I thought that Paula chick was single!
Mario: (You can easily tell that he is pissed at everyone, not just Sonic, Bowser, and so forth) I HATE YOU ALL!!!
DK: Exploding in a closet, anyone!? Huh!?
Kirby: Well, I'm just fine. (happy smile)
(A bing sound silences everyone, then the captain starts to speak through an intercom)
Captain: We welcome you all to Isle Delfino! We would like you to observe the brochures and gaze at the lovely sites at our wonderful, dolphin-shaped island! We range from a four-star hotel, to the trade center that is Ricco Harbor, and even an amusement park! Here, you can dine on classy, traditional dishes honored by our Pianta ancestors, tasty tropical fruits, and succulent seafood!
Kirby: Oh YEAH!! I am so there!!
Captain: Thank you for flying Pianta Air, and we hope you enjoy Isle Delfino! (end announcement)
Falcon: WOW!! I can't believe we'll be in the mainland!
Ness: (cocking eyebrow) You're happy about that?
Falcon: Too true!
Everyone: Idiot...
(Time passes, and the plane lands at the main commercial landing pad: Delfino Airstrip.)
Boat attendant: If you will wait for 5 minutes, then the boat will take everyone to the Delfino Plaza!
Falcon: (surprised) 5 MINUTES!? I came here to relax, and you're expecting me to waste 5 of those minutes on a shitty boat!? And waste even another maybe hour or so just to go to the Plaza!? (points to everyone) To hell with all of you guys! I'm SWIMMING!!
Boat Attendant: I strongly, strongly advise against that, for there are swarms of Cheep-Cheep down there! (Falcon is clueless) Ahem, they'll drag you down to your watery death.
Falcon: Go on without me, guys! (takes clothes off to reveal a, um, revealing Speedo)
Everyone: GAH!!!
Falcon: I'm heading to the Sirena Beach Hotel! (dives in, but...) OH GOD!!! Cheep-Cheeps are trying to--(gets pulled underwater)
Game ad Watch: (looking into the water) Beep beep beeeeeep... [I don't think he's coming back]
Bowser: Shit for brains!
Boat attendant: All aboard!
(The Smashers, minus Falcon, get into the boat and are off to the Plaza)
--
(In the air...)
Luigi: (You guessed it, screaming) HELP ME!!!!! (crashes onto ground) Ow... That's the last-a time I mess with any-a Duelists! So GOD save me!!
Person: Then, my friend, you are so screwed!
(Luigi looks up to see a man in brown shorts, black vest with gold buttons all over it, blue shirt, short blond hair with spiky bangs, a little beard going, an America bandana on his head, and black slick sunglasses. This guy is from Yu-Gi-Oh!)
Luigi: (jumps back some-number feet) GAH!!! Who are-a you?
Person: The name's Keith Howard. But, you can call me Bandit Keith! (angry glare) You got that?
Luigi: Oh yes... say, where am I?
Bandit Keith: WE are on the Island Delfino. You see, when I was all washed up, back at Duelist Kingdom, (Aside) may Pegasus burn forever, (back to Luigi) I awoke at this island. The Piantas here are sooo nice here, considering they look freaky and all, and are also suckers anyway...
Luigi: ... You con-a people?
Bandit Keith: (hands behind head) Only when the officials don't look... You have that look that says, "I want to kill some people", right?
Luigi: How did you-a know?
Bandit Keith: Why don't we make a deal, shall we? (starts whispering some evil stuff into Luigi's ears)
--
(The coast of Sirena Beach; Falcon survived the tedious, the hazardous, and the Cheep-Cheep-ious swim, and is now making his way into the hotel)
Falcon: (tired and struggling) Well, it took me two hours of swimming... But I made to the hotel... and with no other footprints around, not even that sexy Samus or Zelda or Peach, I'M THE FIRST ONE HERE!! I ROCK Ω ASS!!! (gets into the hotel; a Pianta attendant reaches over to the exhausted Falcon)
Attendant: Are you okay, sir?
Falcon: Do you... have any reservations for... people under the name "Super Smash Brothers"?
Attendant: Is your name on the list?
Falcon: Douglas Jay Falcon...
Attendant: (checks list) Your room is on the second floor, third door to the left.
Falcon: Thank you... good sir... (faints from exhaustion)
--
(At the main Delfino area [Delfino Plaza], the Smashers look around the area before they try to find the way to the Sirena Beach Hotel)
Fox: Hey guys!! How do we get to the Hotel?
Marth: There should be a way... let me ask someone... (walks off)
Ganondorf: (disgusted) This place is too happy and sunny... (smiling evilly) It's time for some ravaging of happy PLACE!!!
Ness: No.
DK: Hey! Look! Mario thinks he found something!
Peach: Mario! Where are you going? (worried) I don't want you to get hurt!
Mewtwo: What are you, his nanny?
Mario: I remember-a now! (points to some walls) We wall-a jump up, then you jump on the roof, until you-a reach the red pipe! (sounds like a Strategy Guide) And that's how you reach-a Sirena Beach!
Roy: Cool! Then-- oh wait a minute... only a select few of us can wall jump! Like you Mario, Samus, Falcon [who is missing], Fox, Falco [who is also missing], Link [seven years ago], and Pichu!
Pikachu: Pi ka... CHU pi pi! [If we can improvise... UP+B moves!]
(Mario, Samus, Fox, Young Link, and Pichu all wall jump up; the others use their double jumps and UP+B moves to get through. Then they roof jump all the way to the red pipe.)
Mario: So long, suckers!! (jumps in)
Peach: Wait up! (jumps after him; Zelda and Samus come in;)
Fox: These things look kinda tight! (Mewtwo psychically pushes him in) HEY!! (the Ice Climbers climb ahead of Mewtwo)
Mewtwo: Why you stupid little fucks! The most intellectual ones should go first!! (Pikachu, Pichu, and Jigglypuff charge ahead) That's it! (jumps in) PSYCHIC ATTACK!!
Ganondorf: But I want to ravage!! (gets suplexed in by Kirby) WHOA!
Kirby: Woohoo! (jumps in)
Bowser: Okay, this ought to be a challenge, considering the small pipe, and my, um, grand body... (The only ones left are him and Ness; Mr. G&W, Roy, Marth, Link and Young Link already went in) Here I go! (jumps in; gets stuck in pipe) Oh boy. This is gonna be interesting.
Ness: C'mon! (stomping on Bowser's head) Get, THROUGH!! (Bowser goes through) And now to-- (hears something that sounds like a hurled Yoshi) What the? (looks up, sees Yoshi falling at great speeds at Ness; both fall into the pipe)
--
Well well... we'll just have to see how this plays out:
The Kaiba Bros. in hot pursuit against Luigi, who is collaborating with Bandit Keith, and Falcon makes it to Sirena Beach before the Smashers do.
What will happen?