Final Hikari: This is the result of an insane amount of Genesis fangirling when Crisis Core came out. It went over well on DeviantART and the reason it is now posted here on is because Genesis was added to the list characters! -squeals-
Genesis: -edges away-
Final Hikari: Also, I'm open to suggestions for the future chapters. XD I do intend to continue this, but my non-parody FFVII fan fiction, All That's Left Behind, is what I'm more focused on, so updating may be inconsistent.
Zack: And she's too lazy to find out what my fan club is named!
Final Hikari: -sweat drop- I didn't unlock it in CC somehow…anyway, I don't own anything Final Fantasy VII.
Popularity's Down
Prologue
Director Lazard of SOLDIER leaned back in his chair, sliding his glasses up his nose as he flicked his cell phone closed. He was usually a calm, reserved man. Even when a specific problem was deeply bothering him, he would keep it to himself until he could formulate a rational plan to resolve it and put it into action.
However, every now and then he would act immediately after forming one of these strategies and put off dealing with the repercussions the situation would involve. He doubted the persons involved in this most recent plan would be pleased his ideas, but hopefully they'd think of it as time off. And if they didn't he had just informed his assistant to summon the highest quality SOLDIERs Shin-Ra had to offer, so they'd be hearing it for themselves soon enough.
Who had he summoned? The First Class SOLDIERs. Three of them, at least. SOLDIER was rather exclusive, but the First Class SOLDIERs were a small, elite group. Only the best of the entire organization held the title of First Class SOLDIER. The only security unit that was more limited was the Turks, personal guards of the president of the Shin-Ra Company.
Truth be told, they weren't the only members of First Class. Many of the others were probably equal to them in combat efficiency, but those particular three were special. They gave SOLDIER operatives a good imagine for the public. While the company's primary goals were keeping up with the President's ideals, the had to keep a legitimate impression with the public. There were far too many skeptics as it was.
Genesis Rhapsodos, Sephiroth, and Angeal Hewley were the only SOLDIERs with fan clubs. Lazard took great pride in maintaining their popularity; mainly because anyway for the Shin-Ra Electric Power Company not to look sinister was a welcomed one, but also because it meant he had succeeded. He was never popular in the company, and was completely invisible to the public. Yet it counted for something in his strange mind for his minions to have receptionists swooning over them…
However…his pride was in uncertain terms as the situation grew volatile.
--
Genesis was in the middle of throwing dumbapples at Sephiroth when his cell phone rang and began to vibrate in his pocket. Sephiroth sliced the apple in two swiftly and let the halves fall to the ground. He lowered his sword and picked up one of the halves, hurtling it back at Genesis. Genesis scowled, drawing his sword and slashing it in two while pulling the phone out and it waving at Angeal.
"This thing is vibrating! You must have grabbed the wrong one again. I detest that setting." Genesis said, waving his rapier at Angeal for emphasis after lacking any reaction to waving the phone.
Angeal sighed and removed his own phone that had started to ring, only without vibration. He tossed the phone to his rapier-flapping friend saying, "They all look the same, it's an easy mistake when they're lined up. And it's a very sensible setting. If you don't hear it ring, you might miss the call."
Genesis rolled his eyes and caught it, hurling Angeal's cell phone overhand with the same force as he wound one of the apples. Angeal had to jump to catch it and stop it from flying off the cliff. "Blah blah, functionality…you really have no idea what's cool, do you?"
Angeal shrugged. "You have more fan clubs."
"And for good reason." Genesis flipped the phone open asking, "Hello?"
The overly cheerful voice of a young woman chirped over the phone. "Hello Mr. Rhapsodos! Director Lazard wishes to see you. He said the situation is of the utmost importance to the future of the company and that you should get there as soon as possible."
"Mmm-hmm. Office or Briefing Room?"
"Excuse me?"
"Is it in his office to the Briefing Room?" He repeated, not very concerned. Wutai had been quiet the last few weeks and Lazard phoned them himself it was actually important.
"Um…" She hesitated, sounding worried.
"Did he call from his personal number or the one of the Briefing Room?"
"Uh, I think…it's his personal one." She said, sounding uncertain. "I don't really know…"
"What's the area code?"
"He blocked it…" She trailed off, sounding heartbroken as she exclaimed. "I'm sorry Mr. Rhapsodos!"
IDamn, not another Red Leather member to harass me and squeal herself into coma before I get any information…can't they stay out in Midgar pawning low quality jewelry off to other fan girls?/I
"Don't get have a little nervous breakdown over it." He said flatly.
"You're not angry?" She squeaked.
"It's fine. I'll find him myself. Goodbye." Without waiting for a reply, he hung up and replaced the cell phone in his pocket. "Damn fan girls."
Angeal looked to Sephiroth saying, "Mine was hoping you'd answer. She sounded pretty crestfallen about having to notify me. There was another voice in the background she stopped to yell at halfway through about it."
"You must be cursed to getting the obsessed ones, mine wasn't very interested." Sephiroth replied conversationally.
"Are you sure?"
"Well…"
"Did one of yours say where we're supposed to go?" Genesis interrupted, wanting to end the simulation and get going before they were distracted and he had to wait to close the program.
Angeal smirked asking, "Is that why you told her not to have a 'little breakdown'? She didn't know?"
"Didn't I call it a nervous breakdown?" Genesis asked dryly.
"I think so. But we're supposed to head to his office, either way."
"All right, I'm aborting the missions." Genesis replied.
A moment later the three of them were back in the training room. Genesis removed his headset first, setting it on the shelf in the corner of the room before leaving. Sephiroth and Angeal followed, discussing whether or not his notification was from the same person and why they couldn't just be sent an email instead of having to talk to an operator.
They were on the SOLDIER floor, so it didn't take long to reach Director Lazard's office. Sephiroth was also losing interest in the matter after realizing all the other SOLDIERs were calm and there weren't any calmatives. It wouldn't have surprised Genesis if he'd been hoping for an invasion to break up the monotony of the normal schedules at headquarters.
The lull in Wutai activity was making for dull days. Not many of the commanders suspected they were up to something other than regrouping since Shin-Ra had overtaken three of their larger cities literally overnight. Attending to random missions with monsters that were just above the ability of Second Classes was anything put interesting. It perplexed Genesis why Angeal went with the Second Class SOLDIER he's adopted on so many missions and training sessions.
As anticipated, Director Lazard was seated behind his desk when they entered. He looked up giving them a quick, completely fake smile before leaning back in his chair saying, "I am glad you came here so promptly. We have a serious situation on our hands."
"Wutai activity?" Genesis asked hopefully.
"No." Lazard said flatly. He always seemed to get some sadistic pleasure of turning people down. He cleared his throat, a sure sign they were in for a lecture. "As you know, you have many duties as First Class SOLDIERs. The three of you especially, since you're part of Shin-Ra's attempt to make the company look less threatening to the public eye. Between cover up operations and details of missions we keep restricted, there are many holes in what the world knows about us. That's not even mentioning all the Anti-Shin-Ra organizations that have been showing up and reporters that are determined to ruin our imagine. The dilemma we face now is that popularity's down."
Genesis looked at him skeptically asking, "When Iisn't/I popularity down with someone?"
"Well…" Lazard trailed off. "It's your popularity is down."
Genesis looked at him doubtfully as the Director continued with, "I'm sure you've all been very bored without much to do. We estimate another week or more before our next attack on Wutai. A lot of the missions you've been handling recently we've had to keep quiet, so it's not just the company's popularity down. Your recent activates haven't been released to the public, so there's been an extreme decrease in your popularity among citizens."
"Is that a problem?" Angeal asked, sounding rather unprepared to be greeted with such mundane matters.
"Yes, it is. You three are probably our most capable First Classes, but since you're also the only members of the entire company with fan clubs…"
Genesis' shoulders fell as he said, "You are not asking us to promote the fan clubs."
Lazard slid his glasses up his nose so they glinted off the light from overhead and hid his eyes saying, "That is exactly what I am asking you. Red Leather is financially in the red, so I must request you to act first."
Genesis was starting to look sick as he struggled for reasons other than the obvious to contradict the director. IIf we're allowed to pick what missions we want to go one surely there's some way out of this…/I "But if there's an attack or suspicious activity and we're off in Midgar somewhere, you'd be left defenseless!"
Lazard smirked sadistically saying, "Ah, but that is where you are wrong. We'll be accepting some new First Classes in the next few months so seeing them perform against any potential attacks without the security of First Classes behind them could be quite informative."
"Well…what could you possibly want us to do? I don't think the matters of fan clubs should be left to their members."
"Ah, but you are wrong again." Genesis scowled as Lazard proceeded to explain, "We have several plans for each of you. They involve a variety of traveling and other simple activities. Think of it as a vacation, if you want to. You shall each be accompanied by an advisor during these excursions so you don't have to do any thinking. We have a very large amount of projects for you, Mr. Rhapsodos, seeing as you have the largest following in Midgar at the moment…think of it as vacation, if you will."
Angeal couldn't help but smirk, remembering his friend's boasting just a few minutes prior. Genesis noticed and shot him a glare before Sephiroth noticed the antics and had the smirk of a person plotting ways to irritate the situation further.
"Now that you accept-"
"I haven't accepted anything!" Genesis interjected loudly.
"You're rejecting the mission?"
"Yes!"
"Well…" Lazard trailed off. "I'd hate to distract one of my best First Classes with inspection and promotion of the new members of SOLDIER, but if you have nothing better to do the next few days…"
Oh, you bastard… Genesis thought to himself as Lazard smiled brightly at him asking, "So you accept the mission?"
"It's hardly a mission." Genesis grumbled.
"Wonderful! You can review the plans once we send them to you and decide which ones you want to take and when."
"…Right." Genesis agreed.
"You are dismissed, Rhapsodos. Hewley, seeing as your own fan club isn't doing very well, we'll also send you the required information."
"Understood." Angeal replied with a salute. Genesis rolled his eyes in disgust at his enthusiasm.
Once the automatic doors slid closed behind them Genesis exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! We're combatants! It's a disgrace!"
"Weren't you just boasting about your popularity? If you like your fangirls so much, I'd think you like such a mission." Sephiroth said dryly.
"I don't like dealing with them!" He contradicted, "They're rabid and obsessive! And I can't just kill them like annoying foot soldiers!"
"You've got a lot of trauma with associating with them, don't you?" Angeal asked, just as unconcerned as Sephiroth.
"You're Lazard's next victim, you should be bothered too."
Angeal shrugged in reply saying, "If you project a serious, reliable imagine to the fans they're more likely to have more respect…you're too hyper, you just make them frenzied."
"And bloodthirsty…" Genesis grumbled.
--
Final Hikari: Basically, as you have now gathered, this is a parody / humor fic. I am trying to avoid OOC, which is usually easy for me, but may prove difficult in future chapters. XD Currently, I have Lioneh (she's also here on with a story titled "Genesis: The Beginning") to help with the Genesis chapters, Dr. Meh (also on ) for the Seph chapters, BaltheirFlare (she has a Zack x Aerith fic, Flowers, and much more here on ) to help with Zack's chapter, but I'm afraid I don't really have an Angeal fan girl yet. XD Anybody offering their servives?
Genesis: Angeal only has one fan club, good luck…
Final Hikari: He's on the character list though And currently has…-wince- Poor Angeal only has four fics so far. Anyway! There will be no yaoi in this story. Thanks for reading and please review!