Full Summary- Bella's mother never told Bella much about her grandmother, especially the fact that she was the last Muse. (The goddess who presides over music. Who is immortal unless or until she abandons her duties as Muse.) And, that Bella is the next Muse. Her mother also doesn't tell her that she's really turning 16 when she has her birthday party at the Cullen's instead of eighteen. When Edward leaves Bella discovers her powers and immortality when she attempts to commit suicide. She then runs away, changes her name, letting everyone presume she is dead, and joins a rock band that soon becomes bigger than ACDC, The Beatles, KISS, The Black Eyed Peas, NSYNC,(but their music is like Flyleaf, Paramore, My Chemical Romance and Underoath.) Well they basically become the greatest band ever; but what band wouldn't be if they had the goddess of music on their side. But the thing is that in her reclusiveness Bella always wears a hood to cover her face and only leaves her house if its band related or there is a musically emergency. Meanwhile Edward writes the most heartbreaking compositions ever, thinking that Bella is dead and his family refusing to let him end his life. Because Edward left her though, Bella avoids classical and piano music as much as possible, but will she take extreme measures to end her life and doom classical music forever? Or will our favorite vampire play a sonata she cannot ignore? (will actually be better than summary, I can't really write these things.)

Disclaimer- I do not own Twilight or any of its characters, they belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer.

Warning!!!-this story contains some self harm, nothing too hard core, but may become M rated later for extensive adult themes.

"Music is enough for a lifetime, but a lifetime is not enough for music – Sergei Rachmaninov"

Chapter 1

The forest was silent and for the first time ever in Edward's presence, I was afraid. But not of him, never of Edward, I was afraid of the growing chasm I could feel opening between us.

"Bella I don't want to keep having to pretend to be something I'm not," Edward said and his golden eyes were frozen. I felt a stabbing in my chest as my heart began to tear painfully in half.

"You don't….want me?" I asked though my chest constricted and I couldn't breathe. I knew this day would come, the day he finally saw how plain I was and how perfect he is. Then he sealed our fates.

"No," he said plainly. I exhaled as my heart was stabbed by rejection. I felt my soul become disconnected from my body and all that was left was a shell. All I felt was numb.

"Well, that changes things," I said numbly. I would let him go. I would not force the one I loved to be with me when it obviously caused him pain. But that didn't matter; I would soon remedy his problem forever.

"Of course I'll always love you, in a way. But Bella I'm not…human,"

"If…that's what you want," he nodded once.

"Just promise me that you'll be safe, that you won't do anything to get yourself in trouble," I turned away and nodded, knowing that this was the first lie I had ever told him.

"Then I'll promise you this in return. It will be as if we never existed. You will never see me ever again." I stopped breathing to stop the choking sob that was fighting in my throat. Tears were burning my eyes but I refused to let them fall yet.

"Don't worry, you're human, your memory will fade," how I wish that was true.

"And your memories?" I asked praying that he would think of me at least some time in his eternity, that the plain clumsy human girl would cross his brilliant mind sometime in the coming eternity.

"Well, my kind is easily distracted," I was so glad my hair covered my face because I didn't want him to see it contort in pain as my ribcage snapped open and my heart flung itself against my skin.

"Goodbye Bella," he took my trembling hand in his cold one and kissed my knuckle. I felt a slight breeze and he was gone.

I fell apart.

I fell to the ground when my shaking knees failed me.

My arms wrapped around my chest, trying to keep my heart from escaping and following after my love.

I sob.

I wail.

I scream out as my agony consumes my chest in fire and my heart turned to ice.

It starts to rain.

I'm numb.

I don't feel the freezing water.

I just lay there, encased in green and misery.

Everything is silent and I hate it.

I want noise.

I want something to distract my mind.

I need to hear something besides the painful stab of each heartbeat as my heart thuds against my now feverish skin.

I know I need to get home.

But I don't care.

I want the cold to surround me and numb my pain forever.

So I slowly get to my knees. Its dark.

I can't see my hands where they lay on the muddy ground. My hair falls over my face and I slowly stand up, my legs asleep and aching from cold but my mind makes them support my meager weight.

I walk. I stumble. I fall. I stand. I sing.

It was the strangest fucking thing I had ever done.

But at that agonizing moment, I wanted, no, needed, to sing. So I sang in a voice that was breathless and low but strangely clear and beautiful despite my sore throat and my aching lungs.

I didn't have many memories of my grandmother, except that she always looked so young and a song that she sang to me right before she died. (song lyrics taken from A Lover's Charm by Deas Vail, one of the best songs you will ever listen to I'm serious, link on profile)

Don't cry love, oh don't cry

You know I won't let you go

Cause I gave everything tonight,

So that you could come back home,

With a smile upon your face

And the morning in your eyes

Cause I gave everything in this place

Because you're worth a lover's charm.

Ahead of me I could see a rocky outcropping. I stumbled and fell up against a boulder. I slid down it, exhausted. I could hear the sound of water that wasn't a part of the freezing rain. I crawled around the giant rock and saw a wide river that ended with a forty foot water fall. The water was moving fast and there were angry white caps rushing around the points of sharps rocks. Even with the water moving so rapidly I could tell that it was deep. The swirling black water sang to me through the rain, the roar of its fall the sweetest voice I had ever heard since Edward. I used the wet rock to hoist myself up. I staggered, exhausted to the edge of the swollen, angry water. I closed my eyes and listened, the rain was the instrument, the water the voice, and it was beautiful. I wasn't facing my death in the cold rain; I was in a sun drenched meadow, an angel singing a lullaby softly to me. But then behind my eyes the angel was gone, no longer wanting my presence. But there was a way, just a step across the chasm and into heaven to await him there. I lifted up my arms and felt the rain drenched my neck and face. Then I jumped. I was completely peaceful as my head broke the water after my limp limbs. My hair danced in the rapid water and my wilted body was pulled by the current.

There was a sharp pain in my side as I hit a rock. All of my air reserves left me and my lungs screamed out for oxygen. I felt warmth and a stabbing pain along with a loud crack as I my head was slammed into another rock. My thoughts blurred as I clung to my physical pain to repress the pain of my heart dying. Then I finally felt my body being pushed over the edge of the waterfall and then being pummeled by huge amounts of water as I got caught under the flow. Water filled my lungs and everything went black.

I was sitting on an old-fashioned sofa, you know one with a high, curved back and curved, lion claw carved feet. All around me were instruments. Harps made of gold and silver with sculptures of angels carved into them, gleaming saxophones and trumpets on silver stands, drums and all sorts of strange, foreign stringed things all on silver stands. There was also a huge array of bells and chimes and cymbals in glass cases. I barely looked at the exquisite pianos. But what was strange about this place was that there was a huge stage directly in front of me that I had just barely noticed. It was all white, just like the rest of the room. But what absolutely grounded me was that I was sitting in front of a huge, white harp. I stared wide eyed as I played a melody on the harp that to my broken heart just sounded like empty lies. I stood from the old sofa and walked over to myself.

"it's about time Isabella my dear, I was beginning to think that you'd never make it," I sad to me? wait, I knew that voice. Until now I had just see 'my' hair and body as 'I' masterfully played the harp. But now I saw that who I thought was me was actually my grandmother. Her eyes unlike mine were blue like sky during a hot summer day and her features were different than main, more exotic with her wide jaw and dark complexion, plus, her hair was slightly lighter than mine.

"Grandma?" I asked amazed. She smiled at me, her fingers stilling.

"Yes, my dear it's me," she said standing. I noticed she was wearing a long white dress.

"Am I dead?" I asked. I thought that surely I was in heaven is I was seeing my long-dead grandmother.

"No my dear quite the opposite, you have just started to live." She whispered, taking my face in her hands, her melodic voice like music, just like I remembered. She was always singing or humming and her voice was always the most beautiful sound.

"Then why am I here? Where is here? The last thing I remember I was," I was started to get really freaked out and Grandma just cut me off.

"yes, your little swimming adventure, I really wish you wouldn't have done that dear. But I suppose it had to happen," she walked over to the sofa and sat down gracefully, leaving me dumbstruck. How did she know?

"come here darling we must have a chat," she patted the seat next to her. I walked over to her, my face showing my confusion. What the fuck?

"Would you please explain this all to me?" I asked my eyes pleading with her.

"Okay, you are the Muse. I used to be the Muse but when your grandfather died I just couldn't keep up with the work. It is a lot of responsibility and I missed you Pop so much that I just decided to end it completely," I looked at her like she had grown a second nose right in front of me.

"Grandma, excuse my language, but what the HELL do you mean? I'm supposed to be dead. I want to die! Grammy. I just want the pain to STOP!" I broke down sobbing; I had been ignoring the pain of my severed heart until now. After the initial shock of being in this…this…whatever the hell this place was, I was left only with the disappointment of not putting an end to my misery.

"Oh, my poor dear, it'll be okay come to you Grandmama." She took me in her arms but I felt no comfort. I just felt so empty. Then she started to sing. Her words were in French or Italian or something but her voice was soothing and gorgeous and familiar, like a warm blanket and hot cocoa.

My tears dried and I became lost to the song, forgetting everything else. When it ended she made me meet her warm eyes. Our moment was interrupted by the loud chine of a grandfather clock I hadn't noticed before. she looked to it and frowned, then turned back to me.

"Bella my dear we don't have much time. I want you to memorize my words and take them to heart. You must do exactly as I say for we will not be able to meet for a long while from now.

You are the Muse. You will not die. You are immortal. You need to eat and drink and sleep, but you will not die. You may be injured beyond any reasonable survival, yet you will heal. It is your job to look after the music of this world. When you return you will gain all the powers of a Muse. You will be able to play every instrument like a master and your voice will be the best in the entire world. You will know all of the songs of the world and be able to play them and sing them by heart. You will be able to hear the music, in every touch and in every sound you will hear the undertones of music, of particles hitting particles and their joining resounding into space. You will always be young and beautiful, oh, I almost forgot, you're not eighteen, your sixteen, your mother knows what you are and thought it best that you were legally an adult when you gained your powers" every word she spoke sunk in slowly and though I knew that what she was telling me was ridiculous, I felt like they were right, like they were true. And even though I knew I probably shouldn't, I believed every word she said. But wait my MOTHER?!

"Wait, you mean my MOTHER knows about this? And wait, I can't be sixteen," she touched her finger to my lips to silence me.

"Now now dear I know this is sudden but we really are running out of time. Now I told your mother to tell you but she never really got over the fact that it was to be you and not her that would be the Muse; but don't hold that against her dear." She patted my hand glanced at the clock again as I sank deeply into the comfortable old sofa; exasperated by information.

"Alright now this next part is of utter importance my darling, you must remember everything I am about to tell you.

It is your job to preside over the musical genres and other such things in the world. It is your duty as Muse to see that no musical tragedies occur. You will know when and what you must do to prevent tragedies, it's just instinct and you'll get some clues. Also, you must make the decisions such as who gains musical gifts. This means you can give and take musical talent. You also can disrupt the order of music, such as destroy an artist's career or make a particular piece of music or instrument either excessively popular or really un popular. What you don't want to do is ignore the call to remedy a situation or promote a particular artist or song that's time has come." My mind was a sponge absorbing everything she said.

"But how do I do these things?" I asked. I had no idea how to make a sing popular or how to grant magical music gifts.

"my dear all you have to do is wish it. All of music bows at your feet and bends and twists to your every whim. Why do you think disco was supposed to be popular? Uh, that was your great-grandmother's work thank you very much, I did gain my powers a little later than most." She sighed. Well that explained 'Burn Baby Burn".

"But if we're immortal then why aren't you on Earth or whatever?" I asked. She looked away and frowned.

"All you need to know Bella is that eventually all of us wear out. We bend till we break. But you my darling are strong, I'm sure you'll do fine. But our time is just about up my dear, we will meet again my darling I love you," she had turned back to face me and took me in her arms. I inhaled and found she still smelled like fresh lemon poppy seed muffins and milk. And though my chest was still painfully empty and I knew that after this moment I would not be able to escape my pain like I had in my grandmother's arms, I would allow myself this one last moment to be comforted before reality came crashing back down upon me and I would be miserable yet again but this time without any hope of an escape.

"I love you Grandma," I whispered as I felt the sofa and the room around me begin to dissolve.

"I love you more my darling," she whispered as her warm mouth left a loving kiss on my cheek.

Then everything went black. Again.

I woke up to the sound of….music? I could hear running water but something else too, something, beautiful. It was like with the rushing of the water there was also like a low sound with it that was a part of it and was one with it. with the rush of the water was the sound of a violin, cello, bells? I couldn't place it just right. It was like some un-invented instrument as playing in the background of the water. And the sound of the birds singing in the trees was never so beautiful. It was like there were bells that rang softly when the birds trilled their songs so that it sound like a chorus of sopranos. It tour what was left of my heart to pieces. All of this lovely music caused my shattered heart nothing but pain. Loveliness and beauty were things that now disgusted me. I know that anyone else would think they were hearing heaven to hear this chorus. It just made my chest constrict even more. Above me the dark green leaves shuddered against their gray backdrop and gave of a sound not unlike a blow through a recorder. I brought my hand to my face as I very slowly pulled my achy body into a sitting position, but halted it just before it touched my face when I smelled the rust and salt. I looked in horror at my blood covered hand. Images of dark blue water turning purple and flashes of rock before my face brought my bloodied hand to my forehead were I remembered hitting my head against the sharp rocks that now lay concealed in the muddy water. I ran both of my hands all over my head, trying to find the wound I knew I must have received when I hit my head against the rock; but all I found was damp hair and clammy skin. I was frantic at this point, running my hands all over my legs, trying to find a painful spot or any sign of gashes or breaks. I found not a scratch on me.

You may be injured beyond any reasonable survival, yet you will heal. I lowered my hands to my lap. The true weight of my situation came crashing down on me.

The exasperating song of the birds combined with the rush of the water and the strong breeze in the tress attacked my ears, and though I pressed the heels of my hands into my ears, the hauntingly beautiful tones of nature that were adding salt to my festering wound of a heart. I just wanted it all to stop, for everything to be completely silent.

And then it was.

All I had done was want for it to be silent, and it was. I looked up at the trees and though the wind made them dance, they made no sound, and though I saw a bird upon its beak to sing, no song was heard. Even the water rushing in the river made not a sound. I understand now. This is how I can control music and sound, I simply have to want it to happen.

All of music bows at you feet and bends and twists to your every whim.

I wrapped my arms around my gaping chest. I felt like I was ripping apart and my arms were just barely keeping me together. I hugged my knees to my chest and tried to block the assault of now painful memories started to resurface and shred my heart further. As I tried to focus on becoming numb I was wishing that something would distract me.

My ears were bombarded with sound.

The river rushed.

The birds sang.

The leaves quivered and whistled in the breeze. And though the beautiful undertones that these natural sounds made were causing my already damaged beyond repair heart even more pain, it distracted me. As I sat there and listened I realized that by focusing on the music I could become numb to the part of me that was screaming and thrashing within me to drown in all of my memories and fantasies of my unattainable for a few, though still just as painful, moments in which I could forget. Though the music (which now that I look back with a clearer mind see that it wasn't much more the harmony of the undertones of nature ) caused me pain, I was relieved from the brunt of for at least a few moments.

I got up when it started to rain again.

I looked around me at the forest. I was standing on the bank of the river twenty feet from the waterfall. The waterfall was forty feet high and the cliffs were too steep and wet for me to climb. I took my lower lip between my teeth and looked around. All I saw was green from all sides.

What can I do? I thought about Forks and what could make a loud enough sound that I would hear it. The siren. The siren on top of the police station that was sounded when there was a fire and the volunteer firefighters could hear it for miles.

I wished that it would sound.

After a few moments it wasn't a siren I heard, but the undertone of it. It wasn't a pleasant sound; like a hollow boom or echo. But I heard it.

I followed the sound to the highway, then into town.

By the time I reached my house I noticed that all three of the police cars were outside my house. I sighed; knowing that everyone must be completely freaking out. But I silenced the siren and was on the verge of losing it. seeing my grandmother combined with the shock of the discovery of all the thinkgs I had learned about myself today had been keeping my emotional breakdown at bay, but now I was over it. and the floodgates were breaking down. I nearly ran into the house. All five of our esteemed policemen looked up form their equipment and papers. Charlie rushed over to me and was about to hug me but I held out my hands to stop him.

"Where in the world have you been Isabella Marie Swan?" Charlie half shouted and half sighed.

"I got lost in the woods but found the highway and got home. I'm sorry to have worried you. I need a shower," there was no emotion in my voice as I trudged up the stairs as quickly as my achy body would let me. I heard Charlie tell the boys to go home. I went strait the shower, peeled off my soaked clothes, turned on the water to luke-warm and sat in the tub, the shower sprinkling me with warm rain. I pulled my legs to my chest and focused on the sounds of the floorboards creaking and the pipes in the basement clanging as the water heated; all things I had not been able to hear before. But this only distracted me for a brief moment before the loss of my soul overwhelmed me and consumed me. until now I had been able to function normally. I would never be able to do that after this day. After this moment, this last moment of sanity, I would be forever consumed in my sorrow.

And I was.

The waves came crashing down on me.

My heart was bleeding.

It hurt so much I couldn't even cry.

I just started to drown.

And I did not resurface.

No, Bella does not die now.

I may go back and revise this later or just completely rewrite it. if you want this include that in your review or a PM.

There is a poll on my profile for the name of Bella's future band. If you do not like the options then feel free to make a suggestion, they are much appreciated and recognized.

Thank you for reading and please review. There will be a lot of awesome stuff happen in future chapters. This one and the next one are basically just history and information.

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