August 9th
11:38 PM
Another day completed, another battle won.
Well I'm back at Hogwarts, for my second year. I must say, that Narcissa has gotten a good deal less homely, though I regret to inform you that I can't say the same for Pricilla Parkinson. Pug-like faces must run in the family. I wonder where the droopy backside comes from? Possibly her grandmother. Why doesn't she just charm it back in place? Did she sit on her wand and break it, perhaps? It wouldn't be the first time. When I had to do community service, I had to visit her in the "Ye Old Insane Witches and Wizards Home".
Also, James Potter and the Dunce Crew (as Lucius so hilariously calls them) seem to have reached new heights of immaturity. I strongly suspect that they have spent their entire summer thinking of ways to humiliate me, such as the pudding that stupid Pettigrew launched at my head. All was forgiven, however, when Potter, how shall I put this? Tripped on the rug that Dumbledore had placed in the entry hall. A complete accident, I assure you. I couldn't even touch my food until I was completely certain that he hadn't broken a leg, or cracked his skull, or twisted his spine. It had nothing to do with the fact that the King Crowd and I were laughing so hard that some of us choked on our pumpkin juice, as is common gossip.
Here is my general impression of the people who figure prominently in my life, or at least to the point where I cannot avoid them:
1) The Hufflepuff house in general has not changed a bit, apart from a few new fools that have been added to the pack of idiots. In fact, I've noticed a few students from Hufflepuff looking quite horrified when a new girl, who, in my a opinion, will make a fine Slytherin, tried to hex Lily Smith, the arm candy of James Potter, for stealing her spot in the train.
2) Anais de Marquis has reached new levels of scankiness. She is, as Albert Lestrange called her, the school bicycle. I do believe that everyone has taken a ride, including several of the more undesirable of the Gryffindors, such as Pettigrew, who looks a good deal like a dying squirrel. She is in her seventh year, and I have no idea how she continues to pass her classes. I heard Omar, an Algerian exchange student, acusing her of foul play with some of the teachers, but I doubt this, as I don't think Professor Binns is capable of that sort of activity. She must have some other plot... Goal I for the year: Find out what this little Jezebel is hiding...
3) My best, and possibly only, female friend, dear Mei Teriako, has returned from her trip to South Korea with a laughably awful sunburn and a cheap-looking fake wand, which she used to bribe Peeves into not telling the caretaker, Hattie, about a few sticks of muggle chewing gum that she stuck into the door. I must admit, I felt the teensiest bit bad for Figg when she leaned against it and the gum got stuck in her hair. Mei was laughing like a posessed Hyena. Which brings us to the next groupie...
4) Benitio, Bianca, and Bella Legos. Three Portuguese triplets who have a penchant for scheming more than is healthy, even for a Slytherin. Benitio was made the Slytherin Quidditch Team captain at a startlingly young age, replacing Jonathon King, who was forced into a premature retirement after a run-in with several Bludgers and an insane pet of Hagrid's. I hear that his neck healed nicely, but that he will, most unfortunately, be talking in a high voice for the rest of his life. There are some things even doctor El-Mahil can't fix. Bianca looks quite pretty now, actually. Her hair is no longer blue, and she curls it. Bella, well, Bella hasn't changed a bit. I think that McGonagall may actually have taken her aside and said, "Bella, any more shenanigins, and I will send you back to Ecuador!" The joke being, of course, that they speak Spanish in Ecuador. Oh, hahaha. I'll have to use that one sometime.
5) Patrick Weasley is a first class idiot. I don't know how he got into Gryffindor, he's clearly a Hufflepuff. He's in seventh year, and he spends all his time mooning after some Ravebclaw girl. I can't even remember her name. Anyway, unless he has a fetish for fat witches, I don't know what he sees in her. His grades are okay, nothing special, not like his older brother Arthur's or anything, but he's just so damn stupid in other ways. I think I saw him walk into a door last year, but that may just have been Peeves idea of humor. Actually, now that I think of it, that's quite funny. Oh hahahahaha...
Actually, those are the people who figure least in my life. But oh well, It's late and I'm quite tired.
I hope I have a dream about smashing James with my desk. Ah... sweet dreams, the nectar of the night... Anyway, maybe if I wake up very early tommorow morning, I'll have some ideas on how to to make him and his little clique look stupid. But don't get the wrong idea, I'm not obsessed or anything. I think.
So until tommorow, I bid you goodnight, and put you in my lock box where neither Lucius nor Albert can read you (sneaky bastards, wouldn't put it past them...)
-Severus Snape
So what did you all think? Good? Bad? Funny? Cool? I'd love it if someone could review, so at least I know I have an audience. Feel free to give contructive criticism, but if you do, can you include what you like as well as what you didn't? I'd really appreciate it!
Later!