Overdue Shame
by
Sulkie Wolfen
I'm aware that my little ficlets seem to be even shorter than usual lately. Sorry XD The original story that this is a rewrite of- The Pain of Death- was pretty short too, though. And yet I felt I was babbling on and on in that fic, hence the (verrrrry short) rewrite.
X
I've never felt shameful. And now, that's all I am.
My entire life consisted mostly just out of me, some average (and annoying...) lioness, trying to win myself some self respect. I guess, when you think about it, I could say the same about anyone. But the difference is, I finally did gain it.
The only way I could win myself some recognition, respect, or even acknowledgment, was through my death. It kinda sucks.
It started out like most days. Clear skies, plenty of possibilities... sweet, pretty, and quite stereotypical. But that changed quickly enough.
When I say it like it was, "I died in a fire," the whole thing sounds a lot less majestic.
Naturally, when the threat of fire was detected, our entire pride was alerted of the situation and we evacuated immediately. But apparently immediacy wasn't enough. And so the mystery of my death is revealed. The source of my demise was my own carelessness. If I could have listened to the people in my pride and gained some self control (that's all I ever heard when I was a cub) I might have survived.
To say I'm ashamed of myself would be pretty much telling it. My life's always been more of a mirage than a reality, and apparently I couldn't wake up fast enough to keep it going.
I'm not going to pretend I think my fiance, Kovu, is ashamed of me too. I think we've gotten to the stage in which we can shamelessly say we're blindly in love with each other. However, failing Kovu is still the peak of my shame.
He was the only thing I really accomplished in my entire life. Kovu was the only thing I was ever sure of. Other than him, my life was a blur of unfulfilled expedition. And now I'm leaving the only thing I can say I finished. I'm just flaky that way.
My name was Kiara. I'd say hello, but I think it's a bit late for that. I'd tell you my story, but I don't really have one. Mostly, I've spent my life so far clearing the way to create my own story. And now it's too late. Goodbye.