The name Jack Pengilley meant nothing to the wizarding world. They had never heard of him. Never seen him. Never even knew that he existed. But…that was all about to change. You see Jack Pengilley was no ordinary muggle; in fact he was not a muggle at all. No he was a wizard, a wizard of prophecy. A Chosen one so to speak. He was chosen to help the one who would destroy the Dark Lord. He would help Harry Potter assume his place in the world as Lord of the Light.
"So let me get this straight, I'm a wizard." Jack said as Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore sat in his living room explaining a letter he had gotten a week ago.
"Yes you are a wizard Jack" Dumbledore said exasperatedly.
"Like a wizard with a wand doing spells that defy the laws of science." Jack said grinning.
"YES, for the THOUSANDTH TIME, YOU ARE A WIZARD!" Dumbledore yelled.
"So let me get this straight I'm a wizard?"
"GOD ENOUGH OF THIS YES YOU ARE A WIZARD ALWAYS HAVE BEEN ALWAYS WILL BE NOW CAN WE MOVE ON TO A DIFFERENT SUBJECT PLEASE!" a very annoyed Dumbledore yelled.
"Fine, fine lets move on. Tell me about this Prophecy you mentioned in your letter."
"In our world" Dumbledore said "there is a prophecy that few know about and fewer know what the meaning of. It is a very closely guarded secret that I require a wizard's oath before I can tell you what it says."
"Go to hell if it concerns me I will not swear an oath of any kind as I might need to tell it to my family to keep them safe. You would do well to remember that with me, family always comes first and if anything happens to them because I swear an oath not to tell them something then their blood is on my hands." Jack told Dumbledore.
"Fine you do not have to swear an oath. But know that I am severely disappointed in you." Said Dumbledore.
"Duly noted" Jack replied bored.
"I will not tell you the exact wording of the prophecy but we have reason to believe that you are the one chosen to help Harry Potter defeat the Dark Lord Voldemort."
"Voldemort!" Jack laughed. "That's a weak name for a dark lord. He should have gone with something scarier like Ragnarok or something along those lines. A dark lord named Voldemort!" Jack laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world.
"The name Voldemort may be funny. But the man himself is not. He has killed over 1 million people is his quest to conquer the wizarding world. Even a few people with the last name Pengilley." Dumbledore said gravely.
"How did you know my relatives died?" Jack asked sharply. "Your grandfather John Pengilley was a dear friend for many years." Dumbledore said sadly.
"John Pengilley" Jack whispered "my great grandfather John Pengilley?"
"Yes your grandfather Jack."
"How did he die?"
"He died protecting his family and their friends" Dumbledore said.
"Good, he died a good way then. Protecting the ones he loved." Jack said.
"Yes he died a good way. Now back to my explanation. We, and by we I mean your Grandfather and me, watched you all of your life to see if you would fit the prophecy. And you do fit it. You fit it perfectly in fact. Right down to the scar on you shoulder from your birth."
"There was also a prophecy surrounding Harry Potter." Dumbledore said.
"Well spit it out what did it say."
"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches… born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies… and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have the power the Dark Lord knows not… and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives… the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies…"
"Hmm….Kinky." Jack said deep in thought. "You say that this Harry Potter is the child of the prophecy."
"Yes"
"And your sure of it?"
"100 percent"
"Well I can sum this up all into one word."
"And that word is?" asks Dumbledore.
"Fuck" says Jack.
"Yes that does sum it up quite nicely doesn't it?"
"Yup"
"Well" said Dumbledore "I am afraid that I am out of time so I will give you your Hogwarts acceptance letter and be on my way"
"Cool where is Hogwarts anyway?" asks Jack.
"Scotland" replies Dumbledore.
"SCOTLAND" Jack yells, "HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO GET TO SCOTLAND! I LIVE IN THE U.S YOU FRICKIN' IDIOT! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO TAKE A FRICKIN' BROOM HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD! AND IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT SAYING YES TO THAT IM GOING TO HAVE TO KICK YOUR ASS YOU SENILE OLD COOT!"
"No you won't have to take a broom to Hogwarts. I took the liberty of including a portkey with your letter all you have to do is say lemon drop and it will take you to Diagon Alley." Said Dumbledore amused.
"Well ill be on my way now. Oh and did I mention that you are engaged to Harry? No, hmm must have slipped my mind. Well see you on September first." And with that he apparated away.
"DUMBLEDORE! WHAT DO YOU MEAN ENGAGED! GET YOUR SENILE OLD ASS BACK HERE! YOU BETTER HOPE THAT I DON'T GET MY HANDS ON YOU OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL TAKE THIS LETTER OF YOURS AND SHOVE IT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT YOU WILL BE PICKING PARCHMENT OUT OF YOUR TEETH FOR MONTHS!" Jack screamed. "God I need a drink. I wonder if I still have any Jack Daniels left? I better or all hells gonna break loose. God I hope this is a sick and twisted joke."
But it wasn't.
Well my first chapter to my first story. God I hope my sick and twisted mind doesn't mentally scar anyone. Review if you want. Ad me to your favorites if you please. But remember that constructive critisism is always appreciated. Also remember friends help friends get laid. ; )