AN: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the first annual Mac Whump Fest! Here you can whump the hell out of our baby boy and put him back together with tooth-rotting fluff! Let me remind you of the rules right quick. One: At this time I will be taking a limited number of prompts, so please submit ONE. Once my mug is empty I'll open request. Two: NO PAIRINGS OR SLASH. I have nothing against it (even I'm guilty of enjoying a good slash fic once in a while ;)) I just can't write it to save my life. Three: Let's keep things PG-13. I do have kiddos in my audience. Four: Be kind and civilized! If there's a problem, talk it out with the person or me. We'll work something out. Five: HAVE FUN! You can submit your prompts here via review or PM or on Mutilated Pancake Facebook page. My mug still has plenty of room, so give me your prompts! What? Oh, the mug thing? I'm trying something new instead of going in order in which I receive prompts. The mug chooses the prompt. All good? Great! Any questions, please let me know and let's hop to it!

Mistakes? Dinkleburgh...Flames? Yummy!

Prompt Summary: For my friend ShakeThatBubbleButt! Mac after getting his wisdom teeth out and yes, the drugs affect him normally. *claps hands together* Discuss. Pancake: Crack warning! Pure effin' crack. So much crack, we all might be high right now. Enjoy loves!

A Drugged MacGyver Is A Funny MacGyver

"-ac."

Mac floated in blissful darkness until a voice started calling him.

"Mac."

There it was again! Where was it coming from and who was disturbing his slumber?

"Come on Mackie. Time to open those eyes for me." The voice said.

He knew that voice! It was his bubba! He opened his eyes and smiled when he saw Jack sitting next to his bed.

"Bubba!" Mac exclaimed happily.

"Bubba?" Jack asked with a chuckle.

"Yesh. You're my brother but also like my dad, so that makes you a Bubba." Mac slurred.

Jack laughed. "Hoo boy. Alright bud, you good to go home?"

"I'm not there? Who will feed Bozer!?" Mac pouted.

Laughter rang out in the room.

"Uhh Mac, I'm right here and I'm the one that feeds you," Bozer said.

Mac looked over to Bozer and smiled like he hadn't seen him in forever.

"Boze! You live!" Mac cried out.

More laughter filled the room and it was Bozer's turn to pout. He grumbled but smiled, he was glad his best friend was okay. He excused himself saying he needed to get home and start cooking meals that would be easy for Mac to eat. Riley and Leanna went with him to help.

"Mac, honey. Are you ready to go home?" Matty asked.

"Matty? I can't go home." Mac said. "I need to find my jaw."

"Your jaw is still there Baby Einstein," Matty said gently cupping his swollen cheek.

"It is. The evil doctor person robot thing didn't take it." Mac slurred happily.

"Nope. Time to go home bud." Jack said helping Mac up.

"I'll be right outside," Matty said leaving the room to let Mac and Jack have some privacy.

"Alright kiddo. Let's get you dressed and home tucked underneath your favorite blanket." Jack said.

After wrestling Mac into the pajamas he brought and put slippers on his feet, yes slippers, there was no Mac's drugged and clumsy butt was going to walk out of Phoenix Medical. Jack then lifted Mac into his arms and frowned. Mac was a little too light for his liking. Muttering something about a high protein diet, he carried Mac out of the room and followed Matty to the parking deck. Mac was happily humming Christmas music as they trekked to Jack's GTO.

"Mac, you realize it's the middle of summer right?" Jack asked trying hard to hold back a laugh.

"Oh snap! You right." Mac giggled.

"Blackmail." Jack sang under his breath.

"Jack," Matty said sternly and smirked when she heard him mutter something about superhearing.

"Oooh. Bubba's in trouble. You are soooooo grounded." Mac said.

"Yeah yeah. Let's get your strapped in." Jack said placing Mac into the passenger seat of the car and buckling him in.

When Mac was secured into the front seat, Jack turned to Matty.

"See you there?" Jack asked.

"Of course. Us girls, meaning Riley, Leanna, and I are going to take care of Mac and make sure his brother and father don't upload any videos to social media." Matty said. "Unless you want Mac to create something that will totally dismantle you and you know he can."

Jack opened his mouth to say something and closed it as he got nothing. She was right.

"Fine. I'm still going to take care of my boy." Jack said.

Matty smirked and turned to go to her car. Jack shook his head and got into his. Mac was humming again but this time to a song he didn't recognize. He shrugged and headed off to Mac's house. He stopped at the pharmacy first to get Mac's prescription filled. When he had it filled and got to back to the car, Mac was half asleep. Jack smiled and turned the radio off as he pulled out into the street and continued for Mac's house.

MacGyver Residence-Unless You Know Of Another House Like This On This Hils

After a hot shower, some mashed potatoes, and taking some pain pills, Mac was lying outside in one of the long lawn chairs. A fire was going in the pit and Mac was wrapped in his favorite fleece blanket. It looked light but it's weighted and has a Star Wars pattern. Jack's grandmother made it for him. While it still mostly hot, everyone knew that surgery, injuries, and illnesses have Mac running cold and shivering until he was back to being one hundred percent. Mac was dozing off slowly, listening to his family chatting nearby. He didn't get what they were arguing about but it sounded like it was getting heated.

"Bozer do not make me put you in the ground!" He heard Jack.

"Bring it old man!" That was Bozer.

"Guys settle down. Mac's fine so let's let him rest." Leanna? Had she been here the whole time?

"Leanna's right Boze. When Mac's out, Jack will take him in. For now, leave him be. I really don't want to face his wrath." Riles. The voice of reason.

"Ha!" Jack again. "Suck it!"

"You know what Jack?" Bozer. Don't antagonize him.

"What? What do you got?" Jack. Please stop.

"Your mama!" Oh, Bozer. You tried.

"What about my mama?" Jack, please don't kill him.

Bozer stumbled.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Getting hard to sleep.

"You know what?" Mama Matty is mad!

"What?" Jack and Bozer? That's scary.

"Both of you must've been born on a freeway because that's where most mistakes happen." Oooooh shit!

"I STILL SEE YOUR SHADOWS IN MY ROOM!" Mac sang out loud.

Riley, Leanna, and Matty laughed hard. Jack and Bozer didn't get it. Leanna had to explain the joke to them which is someone makes a sick burn that song plays and she proceeds to show them a video.

Mac felt a hand brush his bangs back. He opened his eyes and smiled at Riley. The two fist-bumped each other and Mac drifted back off to the sound of his family trying to roast each other.

Who let Mac on the internet? Better yet, who let ME on the internet? Goodness me, y'all XD

Until The Next Prompt! Alright, mug who's next?