Title: I Love John Crichton
Disclaimer: The creations of a great writer are little more than the moods and passions of her own heart, given surnames and Christian names, and sent to walk the earth. I mean no harm, nothing Farscape-related belongs to me, I just adore the show and it's characters.
Warning: *contains spoilers for the final four* If you wish to remain spoiler free then do not read on.
Thanks: To Seran for joining my hysterics when I told you what the cliffhanger entailed. To Angela for listening to my inane babblings and Emma for asking questions - your knowledge of the show so far surprised me beyond words, I really didn't think people actually listened to my babbling! To Jon for admitting that the final four were indeed "intense" and well written. To David, for understanding that my life revolves around my Farscape addiction, and not taking offence when I choose FS over talking to you! You guys are all fantastic, and have all in your little ways inspired me in my writing. Thank you!
A/N: Thoughts are represented *like this*
* * *
Aeryn drifted motionless in space, only a few metras out of comm. range, reflecting on her life. Memories flashed unbidden by her vision - the night her mother visited her, her first day of training, the day she met John, their first kiss when they were trapped in the flax, their night on the faux earth when they made love for the first time, the many, many times they worked as a team and saved each others lives, the first time they confessed their love for one another, her death, her consequent resurrection, the `encounter' after her return to Moya.
*The most significant memories, the ones I look back on with pride, and they all involve the Human John Crichton.*
"Funny how I remember only John Crichton - our time together before the cloning. I meant what I said when I told him I knew he was John, they were the same person," Aeryn whispered quietly to herself, realising that she was speaking to herself - a trait exercised frequently by the human John Crichton.
Smiling softly to herself at that thought, Aeryn's expression dimmed as she thought back to their final parting. She had been prepared to stay with him, had that been the outcome of his suggested coin toss. He'd confronted her, let her know that running away was not leaving things to fate; it was simply running away.
Fate. The word tasted bitter in her mouth. How could he believe so wholeheartedly that they were meant to be together? That they'd find each other again? No. She didn't believe that. They made their own decisions; they decided what the outcome would be. Not some unseen force.
*I will not accept that this is our final goodbye. I will not let his coin toss decide if I am to be without the man I love for the rest of my life.*
With her mind made up, Aeryn spoke the words out loud, needing to hear the determination, the sturdiness of her decision.
"I'm going back."
And so she did. Turning the prowler around and heading in the direction she came from, Aeryn made her way back to John Crichton.
When her sensors told her she was in her previous position before leaving Moya, she turned to look out the windows of the prowler, trying desperately not to think horribly thoughts of abandonment and tragedy. Finally, her eyes settled upon a lone speck, drifting aimlessly, only a short distance from where Moya had once been. Powering up the engines, she made her way to what came into view as a craft. She let out a breath. She'd found it. Crichton's module. She opened the comms and listened to his steady breathing, apparently unaware of her presence. She heard him begin to mumble to himself, speaking nonsense that she could not comprehend.
"Since when does that surprise me, frelling human never makes any sense," she mumbled to herself, unaware that Crichton had heard her voice through the comm. and had been startled from his reverie.
"Aeryn?"
His hesitant voice made her look back to his craft, where the sight of his expressive, loving face greeted her and brought the beginnings of a smile to her face.
"You came back?" he asked gently.
"I couldn't leave the way we did. I don't want to run from you," she answered honestly.
"I wasn't planning on going anywhere myself."
"What were you mumbling about?"
"I was just reminiscing on my life. Preparing to die."
His answer shocked her into silence for a moment before she finally found her voice again.
"You were planning on dying? I thought you told me that it was your punishment to carry on living?"
"Uh, Aeryn, it's not like that. I'm a microt away from being out of fuel, and Moya got sucked down a wormhole so she couldn't help me. I could last probably a half arn before the air in here ran out and I dropped into unconsciousness. Never to wake again, if you catch my drift."
Aeryn diverted her eyes in embarrassment at the reminder of their past conversation. She hadn't meant to bring it up. *Too late now*
His voice interrupted her thoughts.
"Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?"
She shook her head, wondering how he knew of something that she had not confided in anyone.
"Aeryn?"
At last, she answered.
"I was afraid. I thought you'd be angry with me. I didn't want to hurt you by reminding you of your twin and mine's relationship. I'm sorry."
"Does it change things now, me knowing? Change how you feel about it?" he asked quietly.
She took a deep breath and nodded, whether he saw the action or not, did not matter.
"I think it does. What matters now is how you feel about it."
"Aeryn, as long as you can see that we're the same person, and learn to accept me as you did him - then I'm happy. All I want is to be with you. And your baby."
"Our baby," she corrected.
John's heart nearly leapt out of his chest at those words and then realised that the air had started to quickly thin out, leaving him short of breath and inhaling deeply, craving the extra oxygen.
"Aeryn, I think I've just about used up all the air there is in here."
"Do you want to come aboard?" she offered.
"Yes."
It took her a moment to understand his hesitation to leave his module. It was his last connection to his home world. His only chance of getting home - short of a miracle. She knew at that moment that they were stuck together indefinitely.
John climbed into her prowler and settled himself behind her.
"Where do we go to from here?" she asked him.
"Anywhere," he replied instantly, "Anywhere you want to go, I'll go there too."
And so they set out to find a planet where they could stay together. At least, until they made better plans. Large forest areas dominated the planet, with the market place being simply desert sand. John had built a small cottage type dwelling in one of the less inhabited parts of the land available. The simplicity of their lives was unsettling; their days spent trying to think of suitable ways to occupy their time. Though the cosy living quarters and isolation had forced them closer together, they were only good friends, not yet at the stage of a blossoming relationship, though John hoped the time would soon come.
It was late afternoon when they sat together by one of the many streams crossing through their land, content in each others embrace, his arms securely around her waist, allowing her to lean back into his chest. The gesture was a comfortable one nowadays. Aeryn thought back to when they had first arrived and what John had said to her:
"'If a man can write a better book, preach a better sermon, or make a better mouse-trap, than his neighbour, though he build his house in the woods, the world will make a beaten path to his door.' We'll be okay here, Aeryn, the fates will protect us."
She believed him. Although her trust in those fates was yet to be solidified, she did believe that they could make their life work.
Apparently lost in his own thoughts, John began to absently twirl a strand of her hair between his fingertips. He cupped her cheek and turned her face so that he could better see her features. *She's positively glowing. I know they say all pregnant women get that look but I never expected Aeryn to. She's relaxed into her impending motherhood. She really is glowing. God, she's beautiful.*
"Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears," John quoted quietly, lowering his eyes from her intense gaze.
"That's beautiful."
"That's what you do to me. My soul cries for you, Aeryn."
She leaned forward to capture his lips briefly with her own.
"I've seen such change in you since we've come to this planet, John."
He tilted his head to one side, listening intently.
"I don't know if I can live a life in one place, on this planet. What is the point, John? We have no reason to be here, no focus."
"It was previously a question of finding out whether or not life had to have a meaning to be lived. It now becomes clear, on the contrary, that it will be lived all the better if it has no meaning - that's the point Aeryn, we're better off like this. It may appear daunting now, but trust me, in the long run, things will work themselves out."
"Don't you miss being up there with the stars?"
"Yes," he agreed.
"So why can't we go back?"
"Because it's too dangerous, Aeryn. We have the baby to think of now."
They sat in silence for a few microts before Aeryn spoke again.
"I miss them. I miss Moya, I miss Pilot, D'Argo, Chiana, Jool, even Rygel."
"I know, baby. I miss them too."
"Then let's go back. Let's find them."
"What about the baby, Aeryn? I know you haven't really started to show yet, but that doesn't make it any the less dangerous for you."
"We can agree to lay low, back down if it gets too dangerous. I'm not foolish, John, I won't risk our child, but I refuse to rot away down here doing nothing."
They spoke for another arn before making their choice. The next morning they packed up their belongings and set off to find Moya, and their crewmembers. They would help each of them in their tasks, as they had done in the past, before the crew had gone its separate ways.
As they lifted off in the prowler, Aeryn turned to face John, kissing him fully on the mouth. She did not press any further, but John was aware that this was not just a friendly peck, much like what they had been used to. She took his hands and put them over her own so that they were both steering the craft. Seemingly by accident, they spoke in unison, "Anything we've done, we've always done together - let's take the journey with them."
The End.
Feedback would be much appreciated. The cliffhanger from the final four was bugging me too much, I just had to get this fic out of my system, and I just hope you all got a bit of enjoyment out of it in the process!
Quotes from Edgar Allan Poe and others have been used in this fic. This is their space for recognition - these men inspire me beyond words, make me a better person, and remind me what it is to be human, faults included.
Disclaimer: The creations of a great writer are little more than the moods and passions of her own heart, given surnames and Christian names, and sent to walk the earth. I mean no harm, nothing Farscape-related belongs to me, I just adore the show and it's characters.
Warning: *contains spoilers for the final four* If you wish to remain spoiler free then do not read on.
Thanks: To Seran for joining my hysterics when I told you what the cliffhanger entailed. To Angela for listening to my inane babblings and Emma for asking questions - your knowledge of the show so far surprised me beyond words, I really didn't think people actually listened to my babbling! To Jon for admitting that the final four were indeed "intense" and well written. To David, for understanding that my life revolves around my Farscape addiction, and not taking offence when I choose FS over talking to you! You guys are all fantastic, and have all in your little ways inspired me in my writing. Thank you!
A/N: Thoughts are represented *like this*
* * *
Aeryn drifted motionless in space, only a few metras out of comm. range, reflecting on her life. Memories flashed unbidden by her vision - the night her mother visited her, her first day of training, the day she met John, their first kiss when they were trapped in the flax, their night on the faux earth when they made love for the first time, the many, many times they worked as a team and saved each others lives, the first time they confessed their love for one another, her death, her consequent resurrection, the `encounter' after her return to Moya.
*The most significant memories, the ones I look back on with pride, and they all involve the Human John Crichton.*
"Funny how I remember only John Crichton - our time together before the cloning. I meant what I said when I told him I knew he was John, they were the same person," Aeryn whispered quietly to herself, realising that she was speaking to herself - a trait exercised frequently by the human John Crichton.
Smiling softly to herself at that thought, Aeryn's expression dimmed as she thought back to their final parting. She had been prepared to stay with him, had that been the outcome of his suggested coin toss. He'd confronted her, let her know that running away was not leaving things to fate; it was simply running away.
Fate. The word tasted bitter in her mouth. How could he believe so wholeheartedly that they were meant to be together? That they'd find each other again? No. She didn't believe that. They made their own decisions; they decided what the outcome would be. Not some unseen force.
*I will not accept that this is our final goodbye. I will not let his coin toss decide if I am to be without the man I love for the rest of my life.*
With her mind made up, Aeryn spoke the words out loud, needing to hear the determination, the sturdiness of her decision.
"I'm going back."
And so she did. Turning the prowler around and heading in the direction she came from, Aeryn made her way back to John Crichton.
When her sensors told her she was in her previous position before leaving Moya, she turned to look out the windows of the prowler, trying desperately not to think horribly thoughts of abandonment and tragedy. Finally, her eyes settled upon a lone speck, drifting aimlessly, only a short distance from where Moya had once been. Powering up the engines, she made her way to what came into view as a craft. She let out a breath. She'd found it. Crichton's module. She opened the comms and listened to his steady breathing, apparently unaware of her presence. She heard him begin to mumble to himself, speaking nonsense that she could not comprehend.
"Since when does that surprise me, frelling human never makes any sense," she mumbled to herself, unaware that Crichton had heard her voice through the comm. and had been startled from his reverie.
"Aeryn?"
His hesitant voice made her look back to his craft, where the sight of his expressive, loving face greeted her and brought the beginnings of a smile to her face.
"You came back?" he asked gently.
"I couldn't leave the way we did. I don't want to run from you," she answered honestly.
"I wasn't planning on going anywhere myself."
"What were you mumbling about?"
"I was just reminiscing on my life. Preparing to die."
His answer shocked her into silence for a moment before she finally found her voice again.
"You were planning on dying? I thought you told me that it was your punishment to carry on living?"
"Uh, Aeryn, it's not like that. I'm a microt away from being out of fuel, and Moya got sucked down a wormhole so she couldn't help me. I could last probably a half arn before the air in here ran out and I dropped into unconsciousness. Never to wake again, if you catch my drift."
Aeryn diverted her eyes in embarrassment at the reminder of their past conversation. She hadn't meant to bring it up. *Too late now*
His voice interrupted her thoughts.
"Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?"
She shook her head, wondering how he knew of something that she had not confided in anyone.
"Aeryn?"
At last, she answered.
"I was afraid. I thought you'd be angry with me. I didn't want to hurt you by reminding you of your twin and mine's relationship. I'm sorry."
"Does it change things now, me knowing? Change how you feel about it?" he asked quietly.
She took a deep breath and nodded, whether he saw the action or not, did not matter.
"I think it does. What matters now is how you feel about it."
"Aeryn, as long as you can see that we're the same person, and learn to accept me as you did him - then I'm happy. All I want is to be with you. And your baby."
"Our baby," she corrected.
John's heart nearly leapt out of his chest at those words and then realised that the air had started to quickly thin out, leaving him short of breath and inhaling deeply, craving the extra oxygen.
"Aeryn, I think I've just about used up all the air there is in here."
"Do you want to come aboard?" she offered.
"Yes."
It took her a moment to understand his hesitation to leave his module. It was his last connection to his home world. His only chance of getting home - short of a miracle. She knew at that moment that they were stuck together indefinitely.
John climbed into her prowler and settled himself behind her.
"Where do we go to from here?" she asked him.
"Anywhere," he replied instantly, "Anywhere you want to go, I'll go there too."
And so they set out to find a planet where they could stay together. At least, until they made better plans. Large forest areas dominated the planet, with the market place being simply desert sand. John had built a small cottage type dwelling in one of the less inhabited parts of the land available. The simplicity of their lives was unsettling; their days spent trying to think of suitable ways to occupy their time. Though the cosy living quarters and isolation had forced them closer together, they were only good friends, not yet at the stage of a blossoming relationship, though John hoped the time would soon come.
It was late afternoon when they sat together by one of the many streams crossing through their land, content in each others embrace, his arms securely around her waist, allowing her to lean back into his chest. The gesture was a comfortable one nowadays. Aeryn thought back to when they had first arrived and what John had said to her:
"'If a man can write a better book, preach a better sermon, or make a better mouse-trap, than his neighbour, though he build his house in the woods, the world will make a beaten path to his door.' We'll be okay here, Aeryn, the fates will protect us."
She believed him. Although her trust in those fates was yet to be solidified, she did believe that they could make their life work.
Apparently lost in his own thoughts, John began to absently twirl a strand of her hair between his fingertips. He cupped her cheek and turned her face so that he could better see her features. *She's positively glowing. I know they say all pregnant women get that look but I never expected Aeryn to. She's relaxed into her impending motherhood. She really is glowing. God, she's beautiful.*
"Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears," John quoted quietly, lowering his eyes from her intense gaze.
"That's beautiful."
"That's what you do to me. My soul cries for you, Aeryn."
She leaned forward to capture his lips briefly with her own.
"I've seen such change in you since we've come to this planet, John."
He tilted his head to one side, listening intently.
"I don't know if I can live a life in one place, on this planet. What is the point, John? We have no reason to be here, no focus."
"It was previously a question of finding out whether or not life had to have a meaning to be lived. It now becomes clear, on the contrary, that it will be lived all the better if it has no meaning - that's the point Aeryn, we're better off like this. It may appear daunting now, but trust me, in the long run, things will work themselves out."
"Don't you miss being up there with the stars?"
"Yes," he agreed.
"So why can't we go back?"
"Because it's too dangerous, Aeryn. We have the baby to think of now."
They sat in silence for a few microts before Aeryn spoke again.
"I miss them. I miss Moya, I miss Pilot, D'Argo, Chiana, Jool, even Rygel."
"I know, baby. I miss them too."
"Then let's go back. Let's find them."
"What about the baby, Aeryn? I know you haven't really started to show yet, but that doesn't make it any the less dangerous for you."
"We can agree to lay low, back down if it gets too dangerous. I'm not foolish, John, I won't risk our child, but I refuse to rot away down here doing nothing."
They spoke for another arn before making their choice. The next morning they packed up their belongings and set off to find Moya, and their crewmembers. They would help each of them in their tasks, as they had done in the past, before the crew had gone its separate ways.
As they lifted off in the prowler, Aeryn turned to face John, kissing him fully on the mouth. She did not press any further, but John was aware that this was not just a friendly peck, much like what they had been used to. She took his hands and put them over her own so that they were both steering the craft. Seemingly by accident, they spoke in unison, "Anything we've done, we've always done together - let's take the journey with them."
The End.
Feedback would be much appreciated. The cliffhanger from the final four was bugging me too much, I just had to get this fic out of my system, and I just hope you all got a bit of enjoyment out of it in the process!
Quotes from Edgar Allan Poe and others have been used in this fic. This is their space for recognition - these men inspire me beyond words, make me a better person, and remind me what it is to be human, faults included.