One Kakarikan Day
By: Snow King
One day, in Kakariko village, Link was busy sharpening his sword, when Beth came up and said
"Hey, Link, you um, dropped your Hawk eye." Link gladly accepted his Hawkeye that he bought at Malo-Mart. Hint-hint.
(Hmm…. I wonder what this is actually for…oh! I think It can read minds!)Thought Link. Link decided to look around town with the Hawkeye on. He looked at the goron in front of the hospital/inn.
(Hmm. How should I prepare my Foi Gras?)
"That was odd." Remarked Link. "I wonder what this chicken is thinking."
(Bawk! Ba-gaw! Bawk!)
"Oooookay." Link decided to check another Goron's thoughts.
(Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breath out. Ooh shiny!) The goron starts choking due to the lack of breathing. Link wondered what Talo was thinking.
(My mom is so harsh. Why doesn't Beth like me? I like cheese. I wish that cool wooden sword didn't get broken.)
Link had had enough. "Well congratulations, people. This is a regular carnival of shame." Link finally finished sharpening his sword until he could cut a hole in the space-time continuum. But, Link was too distracted by a green rupee to go through the continuum, and change the horrible thing that had happened on Tuesday night.
4 DAYS EARLIER…
Link was busy sharpening his sword, when he suddenly had to go to the bathroom. On his rush to the hospital/inn, he stepped on a bug. The memory had haunted him ever since.
"That bug was so defenseless!" cried Link to Rusl. He couldn't' believe that he had squished a golden bug that he had already caught.
"Wait, how did you get here?!?!" exclaimed Rusl. He was in his house, making another sword for Link to sharpen so he could pierce Mayer Bo's many layers of endless fat that wouldn't seem to end.
" I don't know! Now you're making me do math? I don't know who you are any more!" cried Link. Then, oh-so-suddenly, Link was telling his problems to Barnes of the Kakariko bomb shop.
"Well, I don't know Link. Maybe you should blow up a town, you know, to relieve some stress."
"Nah" declined Link "I'd rather go and make a grave for the little guy."
"Well, do you think you could at least a bomb by the grave so the bug could be like a Garo?"
"Nah. And, did you think those exist?!? Hahahahahaha!! Next, the Keaton will exist!!!" laughed Link. Link decided to leave Barnes shop. At least he got a few good laughs in there. But that was no help to the problem at hand. Then as Link was humming the national anthem of Hyrule, he heard a loud blast of an explosion behind him. Link then slowly turned around. Behind him, he saw the blown-up ruins of Barnes' Bomb shop. Hint-Hint.
At that moment, Link remembered that it was really dark around Barnes' shop, and there was no sunlight in that general area. So Link figured that the one lamp lighting the shop had jumped onto Barnes' shirt, he had jumped around a couple times, and he used the stop, drop and roll method, thus catching the floor on fire, and the fire must have spread to the bombs, and that is how the bomb shop blew into billions of pieces.
Due to the events that happened that day, Link decided to blow-up the remains of Barnes, and the bug. Like a Garo. As Barnes had suggested, earlier that day.
This story is in memory of Frank, the bug, and that other guy who's name escapes me at the moment. May Frank's soul rest in peace.
Go buy stuff there, now.