Letting It Out
Disclaimer: People belong to Joss and friends. No money is being made by me, as always. Guess I shouldn't quit my night job.
Dear Maggie,
This letter writing is supposed to help somehow, bring closure. Or so I was taught, at least. I don't know. I don't really know much of anything any more. My formerly black and white views have all run together in various, indistinguishable shades of grey.
I'm not sure where to turn now. My whole life has been upside down, twisted around into some warped reality I can't quite grasp. Who can I trust? You? My God. You created that thing. That abomination you called Adam. And me.
He called me 'brother' and you 'mother' and said that you loved him. I told him that you didn't, but I'm not even sure of that. I don't know how you could. He's evil, and a murderer, and I can hardly believe you created him to begin with. Just as I can hardly believe all this time you've been drugging me through my meals. Or that you tried to kill Buffy. Words can't even convey how hurt... how betrayed I feel, now that the shock has begun to ebb away after everything you've done. Not that I was ever very good at telling people how I feel... I think the knowledge that you'll never read this has something to do with it. Nor will anyone else.
But that's beside my point. My point is... Hell, I don't even know that any more. I think I'm going to leave the Initiative. It's becoming very plain it's not what I thought it was. It's not doing the good I thought it did. I mean, if Buffy- the Slayer, the supernatural force that's apparently supposed to keep some sort of cosmic balance- can protect demons, maybe they're not all bad. You must have seen something in them or you wouldn't have used them to create Adam. Or would you? I don't know you any more. You've turned out to be nothing I thought you were.
Buffy, on the other hand... She stuck by me through everything. She helped me. Even though I didn't want it. She still put herself at risk to try to find out what was wrong with me. I love her. And I think I can trust her. She wanted to find the truth. About me, about 314. She didn't try to keep anything from me, that I know of. Not like you did. I tried to blame it all on her. Since all this... weirdness seemed to start when she joined the Initiative. And she still stood by me. I think she still loves me.
So that's it, then. My loyalties lie with her now. I will learn from this. And lock you away in some small distant part in my mind, where you can't hurt me any more.
Goodbye, Maggie Walsh. My commander, my mentor, my Judas.
Yours Truly,
Riley Finn
Disclaimer: People belong to Joss and friends. No money is being made by me, as always. Guess I shouldn't quit my night job.
Dear Maggie,
This letter writing is supposed to help somehow, bring closure. Or so I was taught, at least. I don't know. I don't really know much of anything any more. My formerly black and white views have all run together in various, indistinguishable shades of grey.
I'm not sure where to turn now. My whole life has been upside down, twisted around into some warped reality I can't quite grasp. Who can I trust? You? My God. You created that thing. That abomination you called Adam. And me.
He called me 'brother' and you 'mother' and said that you loved him. I told him that you didn't, but I'm not even sure of that. I don't know how you could. He's evil, and a murderer, and I can hardly believe you created him to begin with. Just as I can hardly believe all this time you've been drugging me through my meals. Or that you tried to kill Buffy. Words can't even convey how hurt... how betrayed I feel, now that the shock has begun to ebb away after everything you've done. Not that I was ever very good at telling people how I feel... I think the knowledge that you'll never read this has something to do with it. Nor will anyone else.
But that's beside my point. My point is... Hell, I don't even know that any more. I think I'm going to leave the Initiative. It's becoming very plain it's not what I thought it was. It's not doing the good I thought it did. I mean, if Buffy- the Slayer, the supernatural force that's apparently supposed to keep some sort of cosmic balance- can protect demons, maybe they're not all bad. You must have seen something in them or you wouldn't have used them to create Adam. Or would you? I don't know you any more. You've turned out to be nothing I thought you were.
Buffy, on the other hand... She stuck by me through everything. She helped me. Even though I didn't want it. She still put herself at risk to try to find out what was wrong with me. I love her. And I think I can trust her. She wanted to find the truth. About me, about 314. She didn't try to keep anything from me, that I know of. Not like you did. I tried to blame it all on her. Since all this... weirdness seemed to start when she joined the Initiative. And she still stood by me. I think she still loves me.
So that's it, then. My loyalties lie with her now. I will learn from this. And lock you away in some small distant part in my mind, where you can't hurt me any more.
Goodbye, Maggie Walsh. My commander, my mentor, my Judas.
Yours Truly,
Riley Finn