To Stop One Heart from Crashing

I sat on the edge of the street, my head between my hands. No one knew what I felt. No one saw the inside. Crushed, yet barely a sophomore in high school, I could almost die. Yet there was one thing that kept the slow, heartbroken pulse in my blood alive. And he betrayed me.

I never wanted to love Jake Martin, but the one that betrayed me never loved me. Jake was kind, of course, but he was to stereotypical. The clean mouthed, athlete on honor roll that loved puppies and sunshine, that guy wasn't for me. I kissed him twice, that's all, and it wasn't the same. It never would be. We stopped dating a week ago.

I realized my wrongs to the one that had betrayed me and went to apologize that night. I walked to his door step and rang the bell. We had only broken up a month ago; maybe he'd still like me. I was praying to Jesus and the Lord that my beloved would hug me tight when I came clean.

The door opened but I never looked up, I couldn't stand it, but I knew it was him at the door, I felt it. If his face should read disgust, I should feel of it. If his eyes should show betrayal, I should die of it. I began to plead my case.

"I am not perfect. I get overwhelmed. I don't know what to do soon enough to make the right choice. I am human. I get scared. The biggest mistake to me was letting you go. I love you. I love you more than anything in the world, my mom, my dad, my sister. Out of any of them you are higher. You helped me get through the hardest experiences in my life and I let you go. Like a balloon in the wind! I just let go. That was my mistake. I never wanted to. Not one moment! I was scared. I realize now that in a relationship, there has to be a balance of support and I didn't give that to you. You deserve it though. I will support you with anything, even planning to murder me! Just take me back, take me back, so we can love again…" I was crying slightly when I finished.

I looked up, for now I was indeed curious of his expression. Yet when eyes rise, hearts fall and they fall so deep that it seems you will never retrieve them back.

Eli was there, stunned with no smirk. Yet his eyes looked glad as they glowed in the night. Yet my heart evaporated when I saw two thin arms wrap around his shoulders to reveal the determined, cruel face of a girl I recognized from drama class: Imogen. Her slender figure and flawless face made me sick to my stomach but I would say one thing before I would depart.

"But you never even loved me at all, did you?" and with that I ran, I ran so hard and so fast that my feet burned inside my flats. I ran so determined that the tears in my eyes flew out, right off my face. I sobbed so much that breathing became impossible, yet I sprinted on. In the distance behind me I heard yelling. Yelling is something that I wanted to do. I wanted to yell at myself for being so stupid. So naïve! To think that I could let go of a rocket and grab on three minutes after it departed? Such a silly girl for even trying. I had left him, alone and he grabbed the next best thing. A beautiful girl in drama had taken my spot in his heart.

I knew where I would run.

The old cliff that Eli and I used to sit on Morty at while watching the sky.

We had been there when he had invited me on that road trip when things had just begun to crumble. He wouldn't remember. I could go there with ease. I could jump there and I could fall onto the flat ground below it and crumble like our love did. Who did I have now? Who! Alli was with Jenna, Adam was with his new girlfriend, and Jake was out of the question. Who did I have? I had me, but not for long. I would jump and I would end this tragic dream that's opacity of darkness ruined my heart into an empty pit.

I approached the clearing. It didn't take all too long to get here. It was just outside Degrassi. I came to the exact spot where we had kissed for the Shakespeare video project and touched the table with my fingers letting go in pain. I found where we had laid next to each other and just talked about us and our future. That was gone and I walked off. Then with many nerves, I approached the edge. The drop was at least seventy feet down, enough to break my bones hopefully. I looked down and breathed a deep, cleansing breath. I felt relief fly off of me like a breeze from the warm ocean water and I relaxed. I didn't fear death because death doesn't change you. It sends you to Heaven where God and his son Jesus await you to never judge yet love you indefinitely. It leaves me the same but free. That when I jumped.

Everything went by slow. The shriek of terror went the slowest, only because I recognized the voice. Eli had been there. He had seen. I heard him curse himself.

"God! Why God? Why would you let this happen to her? Can you not recognize the innocence? Please! Just bring her back! I need her!" I could hear the sobs as I fell. I needed him, too.

I felt an overwhelming pain as I landed hardly upon the rough and rocky ground. I knew everything was broken but I felt whole. If those were the last words I would hear and for that I was glad. I saw the path that led down from the cliff and a boy in all black came sprinting full speed with tears right up next to me. Twigs crackled below him as he got down on his knees in front of me. The world became slower and slower as he rushed around me.

I opened my eyes to see Eli's flawless face in front of me as he rests my head in his lap. I look intently into his eyes.

"You knew where to come. You knew," I choked out painfully.

Eli laughed a pained laugh and then spoke, "How could I forget where we had been? You must have a little more faith in me than that!"

I laughed and it hurt my shattered ribs. "You love Imogen don't you? You never loved me…"

"Clare, we were going over a drama skit and she got the wrong idea. I kicked her out quick. I only love one girl!"

"Julia?" I pondered.

Eli answered by softly touching his lips to mine and gingerly holding my head up. I tried to kiss him back but I was too weak to move.

The world began to blur as I drew back from him and my body became numb. I closed my eyes. I could barely hear now.

"Clare! Clare! I'm going to fix this; we're going to the hospital!" Eli yelled loudly as his tears got heavier. He put one arm between my head and my shoulders and the other behind my knees as he lifted me and began walking me up the path to the hearse.

We got there and I closed my eyes once more as he laid me along the bench of the front seat before he sat down next to me and laid my head in his lap again. He kept muttering to himself and all I heard from the little atheist boy was "Dear God, holy Lord…" and then a long prayer from the heart.

I was trying my hardest not to fall asleep into death as we pulled up to the hospital and he grabbed me again and rushed me into the emergency room.

"My girlfriend fell off of a cliff and she won't make it unless she gets a doctor now!" Eli screamed at the receptionist. But all I heard was my girlfriend and I melted a little more.

He laid me on a gurney and held my broken hand in his hand as nurses and doctors rushed me into a room and began ripping off my shirt to place monitors and IV cables. The last thing I saw was Eli mouth "I will always love you," before I went down under meds.

Thank you for reading one of my amateur stories once more! Please comment, favorite, and read all my other stories! Go to my profile and click the link to my website to read my personal original stories that I wrote!

Love XOXO,

MadameLivi