Abby sat by the river, unable to move or speak. She had come back to the bench where they had sat that afternoon, not wanting to go home or to see Luka. The words played over and over again in her head. 'I don't want to be your friend.' He was her best friend, and then suddenly, he wasn't anymore. And there was no one she could talk to about it. She wasn't particularly close with a lot of the other doctors and nurses, and Luka....well, he didn't get jealous, but he wouldn't mind that she was forced to talk to him instead of Carter. They didn't like each other much, especially because of her friendship with Carter. She stood up slowly and began to walk, not knowing where she was headed.
*****
The doorbell rang, and he answered hesitantly, not wanting to see anyone. He saw her determined face crumble at the sight of him standing there. Tears began pouring down her face, and he held her gently as the tears soaked his shoulder.
"I can't loose you," she sobbed, her voice barely audible.
"I know, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, I just...I couldn't help it. Hearing about him...I can't help how I feel. About you."
"Luka's probably calling the hospital to see if I'm still there."
"Yeah, he, uh, he worries about you. That's sweet."
"Yeah...." she said quietly, then shook her head as if to clear it and said again, stronger this time, "Yeah."
"Do you love him?"
"Haven't we had this conversation a million times?" She asked nervously, knowing that this particular question had never been asked. Or at least, hadn't been answered.
"Do you?" He asked again, looking straight into her eyes.
"I..." She paused, realizing that she spoken too quickly and wasn't sure what she was going to say. The hesitation was enough for him to know that she wasn't sure, but he waited as she thought of what to say. "I barely know him enough to tell," she admitted, defeated and embarrassed.
"You've been dating for months, Abby, and if you still...."
"You know how we are! I might as well have been dating you!"
"But you weren't, were you?" He turned away slightly, not wanting her to see how upset he was.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that."
"But you did."
"What I meant was..."
"That you and I talk about everything. We know each other better than anyone else does. We're closer than you and Luka, *much* closer than Rena and I were." He interrupted, finishing her thoughts exactly.
"Rena? Don't even get me started on her. Trust me." He smiled at her comment, despite his efforts to keep a straight face.
"And why did you care so much about me and Rena?"
"Because she was a teenager!"
"But why did it matter to *you*? That was my problem."
"Because it was *wrong*, Carter."
"Why was it wrong? What made it so wrong?"
"Because you shouldn't have been with her." He only shot her a questioning look which prompted her to blurt out, "Because you should have been with me!"
He'd been expecting something about how she was his best friend, and he stood, shocked, as she turned and walked towards the door.
"Abby.....Abby!" She paused and he ran over to her. "Don't go."
"I have to."
"Just stay. I don't see why not. *Us*, Abby. Don't you want that? We could have it."
"I'm with Luka." She replied icily, opening the door and walking out.
He thought he should go after her, but his legs wouldn't budge. He wanted to go after her, hold her and tell her how much he loved her. But something told him that she'd made up her mind, so he stayed.
She wandered through the streets, pulling her scrub jacket tightly around her body. As she neared her apartment she stopped with tears once again running down her cheeks. She turned to her left and began walking towards the hotel.