Author's Notes: Okay, this short, silly fic was written as a way to call into question Ganondorf's Up+B move in SSBB. Anyone else notice that if you play as Zelda, and ONLY Zelda (it doesn't work on the other females or any of the male characters) Ganondorf's hands don't fall around her face like they should? In fact, they fall to her chest. This fic is a result of playing too much SSBB, forgive me.
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"I am so sick of that bug eyed little freak following me around!" Peach huffed, walking so fast I had to run to keep up with her. We had been designated as fighting partners for this round, and quite honestly she was a breath of fresh air; even if that air was rather whiney and annoying. I had been hoping to be paired with another girl for a while, mostly because Link was getting on my very last nerve. If I had to fight with him one more time I'm afraid I would have used Din's fire on him.
"Oh come on, Peach, he isn't that bad…I'm mean he really is just a little kid." Peach turned around and glared at me. 'Great, keep taunting her and you'll need a new roommate' my mind chastised. Living with her would be hell if I kept up the remarks. So I bit my lip, holding in the laughter that threatened to break the surface.
"You have to say that, Zelda, he is from your realm! And don't I get enough of the three foot tall midgets following me around anyway?!" I rolled my eyes. It was true, Toon Link and Mario were of the same height, and both of them had a distinct fascination with the Mushroom Princess. I, on the other hand, attracted the sociopathic murders from realms throughout the galaxy. The only villain I hadn't attracted was the man from my very own realm, Ganondorf.
It was true, Bowser had an affinity for both Peach and me, King Dedede was fascinated by anything in a skirt, and Wario had resolved to grabbing me around the waist one too many times. The last time nearly cost him his hand. Wolf O'Donnell had kissed the back of my knuckles the first time we met. He was the most polite of the villains; that was certain. And then there was Ganondorf.
By far the most deadly and intimidating of the bad guys, Ganondorf had never given me so much as a second glance. I had yet to fight him, but even in the Smash Manor he was a loner, never getting close to anybody. I knew he was the most powerful and intelligent just from my experience with him in Hyrule, but here he seemed almost benign and rather shy. In fact, when he had fought against Peach and Samus he had barely touched them save to kick their feet out from under them. This struck me as funny, and I burst out laughing the middle of Peach's lament.
"What? What is so funny!?" I shook my head, tears rolling down my face.
"SMASHERS TO THE BRIDGE OF ELDIN."
The announcement over the loud speaker startled me so much I had nearly jumped out of my skin. I still had no idea who Peach and I were fighting against, but thankfully Peach had forgotten about her little stalker, Toon Link. I grabbed her hand and warped to The Bridge of Eldin. We were the first fighters there, so I decided to lean over the edge and look down. I had not been to this specific arena, but upon first glance it seemed very intimidating. There were cracks in the middle of the bridge, as well as a long drop to the bottom. Shivering a little, I headed back over to the middle where Peach was applying lipstick. I snorted.
"Want to look good when your teeth get rammed down your throat?" She shot me a nasty glare. Before she could respond, though, I heard the sound of metal and felt an extremely heavy hand on my shoulder. My stomach dropped to my knees.
"Hello, Princess." I heard the deep male voice behind me, a voice I had heard many times. With an unladylike 'ack!', I smacked the hand away from my shoulder and whirled around, coming face to…well…chest with the Dark Lord Ganondorf. He crossed his arms in front of him, a dark smile playing on his lips. I felt my face redden. If he wasn't so nice to look at I would have attempted to hurl him off the Bridge of Eldin at that very moment. Yes, I admit I find my sworn enemy attractive, so shoot me.
Looking over, I saw Bowser was his fighting mate. I giggled a bit, noticing the goofy grin on his face that accompanied Peach's sweet smile. Bowser and Peach? Well, I had to admit, he was better than Mario…it had to be awkward being rescued by a guy that only came up to your waist; as opposed to Link who had an eye to eye view of my cleavage. I cringed. At least Ganondorf was tall…wait, what the hell was I thinking?!
"SMASHERS READY? 3…2…1 GO!"
I paled, already being far too close to my opponent. But he did not move. He just stood there for a few moments, watching me. Our eyes locked, icy blue to feral yellow, but the contact was broken by an "Oooh! Bowser let me go!" and then a fit of hysterical giggles. Ganondorf and I didn't bother looking over at our partners; instead, I leaped into the air and came at him.
Let me just tell you now that was the WRONG MOVE. He casually moved to the side and I face planted with a "Gods damn it!" Before I gave him room to pounce, though, I vanished. I knew Farore's Wind would come in handy sometime. I reappeared, but he was not in my line of sight. I laughed momentarily as Peach chased Bowser around the Bridge with an unhappy turnip in hand. I turned around quickly, the laugh dying in my throat as Ganondorf leered over me. And then the unthinkable happened.
I saw a wave of purple magic appear in his hand. As quick as I was, he was quicker. I felt his hands fall around my neck at first, but then an evil glint appeared in his eyes and he moved his hands down further. I gasped as he rather roughly grabbed my chest and shot magic throughout my entire body. But this was no ordinary magic, and it was definitely NOT what he used on his other opponents. This made my entire body tremble in pleasure, sending shockwaves to my very core.
"You seemed to like that, princess." I gasped, collapsing to the ground as Ganondorf stood over me grinning. I felt my face flush dark red as he grabbed my collar and hefted me into the air. I struggled in his grip, choking a bit as I tried to use Farore's Wind. I managed to succeed, but I felt myself being pulled back toward earth as Ganondorf caught the back of dress and slammed me to the ground, pinning me below him.
"GET OFF OF ME!!!" Ganondorf laughed, running a finger across my neck and down into my cleavage. I cursed, trying my hardest not to let my body respond, we were supposed to be fighting, not snogging!
"Don't tell me you've never wanted this, princess? I see how you look at me. My feigned ignorance spurs you on, my dear. This I know. You have every other villain in this realm at your beck and call, except me. My dear Zelda, did it occur to you that I am the one you can have? Just say the word, and I'm yours, princess." He grinned before a jolt of my magic shot through him, allowing him to feel exactly what I had felt when he grabbed my chest. He shuddered on top of me. While he was distracted I managed to free myself from his grasp.
Suddenly, the ground began to shake. I jumped to my feet in time to see a horrible orc creature on a boar running toward Ganondorf and me. Without hesitation, I grabbed his hand and leaped, allowing the Wind of the Goddess to pull both of us out of harm's way. We ended up on the opposite side of the arena away from Bowser and Peach. We watched them briefly as he grabbed the orc and hurled it off the side of the bridge, Peach squealing with delight. I rolled my eyes.
"Is she really that helpless? At least you're an archer. On that note, it really hurt when you hit me with the light arrows. I think I still have a bruise on my ass." I snorted.
"You shouldn't have taken over Hyrule. That is MY kingdom; let me rule it as I will." I felt Ganondorf wrap an arm around me, leaning his head on my shoulder to whisper into my ear.
"Oh, but princess, wouldn't you prefer it to be OUR kingdom? Say the word, Zelda. Or do I need to reiterate…previous actions?" I felt his hands slide up my body toward my chest. I smacked at his hand. He grinned.
"You're a pig," I spat. He shrugged.
"You already saw that side of me, princess. So what do you say? Care to have a Dark Lord at your beck and call? Or would you prefer me to sic Zant on you again?" I glared, huffing about for a few moments. He knew how much I hated that Twilight freak. He also knew I never hated him, no matter how many poor decisions he made. Hmm…I was being pulled in two directions. Oh what the hell, Hyrule would still be under my control, but ruling with power might actually help calm the nerves of the inhabitants.
"Fine, you can stay in Hyrule and help me rule. You didn't do THAT horribly…just learn to control your temper, okay? Don't freeze the Zoras just because they happen to make you mad." Ganondorf smirked. I glared in annoyance. "You won't be allowed to harm my people." I felt Ganondorf's hand on my waist and another current of magic.
"Whatever you say, princess. Oh, and princess? I've switched room keys with Peach. Thought you might like to know that."