Ennis in Love.
Characters belong to Annie Proulx and Brokeback Mountain.
Ennis started going up to the sheep, coming down for breakfast, evenings were spent as usual having supper with Jack in the main camp. The two boys swapped stories and jokes, drank whiskey to ward off the cold, for once the sun started to go down the air became bitter even though it was summer.
The minutes and quarter hours ticked by, Ennis becoming mesmerised by Jack's voice, and mannerisms until he fell into a soft dream-like reverie. To Ennis there was no-one else on earth like Jack Twist – one of a kind. When Jack spoke his warm voice filled the night spaces, peace and balm to Ennis's soul. It was as though Jack's voice were a musical instrument, one which Ennis couldn't name, the sound unusual, comforting and sweet.
Ennis was mesmerised by Jack's profile – soft at first at twilight but clean cut later against the fire's light, a perfect profile. He watched Jack's hands rolling smokes with his long deft fingers and Ennis's heart leapt at the thought of the use those fingers could be put to –then thought maybe the whiskey and the night air were getting to him.
One evening after Jack sang and started the coyotes yipping high above them he turned his beautiful face fully towards Ennis, laughing long and hard making Ennis smile at last. Presently they talked some more, Jack's proximity making Ennis's face burn.
It was then that Ennis decided to pretend to be too drunk to go up to the sheep: to let Jack catch him, though he himself was the hunter, his conscious mind not owning the thought.
When Jack invited him into the tent he could feel the tension building within, tried to control himself, even dozed for a while - but towards dawn one touch from Jack ignited his passion. He couldn't let Jack take control - it was his place to do so. Still, he tried to lessen the force he used but lust, his neediness and yes his loneliness overtook everything – how could he stop? His body took control and wouldn't let him stop - he wanted Jack
The cries from Jack and the raw scent of him drove Ennis on - he knew such ecstasy then that he never knew existed in the world – held Jack as they fell back down to earth – gave him that comfort.
In the morning Ennis was still befuddled by drink, and for a second or two he completely forgot what had happened. Jack looked like an innocent rosy child asleep but there was blood on the old blanket, and memories from childhood came back to haunt Ennis and he needed to get out!
As he saddled up Jack came out of the tent and, pouting, spoke to him, Ennis not catching the words.
What have I done! What have I done? thought Ennis.
Riding away Jack misunderstood: thought he'd been used - or that Ennis was ashamed or afraid. Ennis was both of these things but mostly afraid that he may have hurt Jack – and that would never do - because, you see, he was already in love …..