Hey guys, this is my first LOST fic. I watched last night's episode "?" and well...this is my version of how it should've gone. I mean don't get me wrong, I loved the show, but there just wasn't enough Jate in it for my liking. So here's my version...hope you guys like it!
Shattered Glass
"Dead," Kate said, "She's dead."
Kate was in shock, how could any of this happen? Ana Lucia, dead? Libby, dead? Her head was spinning trying to take it all in. She looked over at Jack who was helping Michael over to the bed. He was bleeding heavily and Jack was telling him what to do to stop it.
Suddenly Sawyer jumped back and yelped. Libby was alive! Her breathing was labored and she was coughing up blood. Jack ran over to help her.
Kate watched everything as though in slow motion. It seemed so ethereal. Things had been going well…except for the fact that she and Jack barely talked. Ever since that feverish kiss in the jungle…when she had run, he had taken to shutting her out. She deserved it, she knew that and maybe that was why she made no attempt to talk to him either. It was almost inadvertent, her not making attempts to reconcile with Jack, but it still happened, and she regretted it in a sense. She had for some strange reason started talking to Sawyer…maybe it was because they were both outlaws.
She was jerked back into reality when she heard Libby scream. She snapped out of her miserable thoughts and when to where Sawyer and Jack had laid Libby. Jack was desperately trying to staunch the flow of blood from the bullet wounds in her stomach.
"Here," Kate said, putting her hand on the bloody towel, and pushing away Jack's.
"No, it's okay," Jack said, trying to push Kate away. He was sweating and looked really worried.
"Jack, you're worried, take a second to calm down and get some medicine for her, I'll keep holding this."
Jack didn't move. He just looked at Libby's comatose body.
"Jack…"
"I don't have any medicine that will work…unless…" he left the room quickly. Kate wanted to follow but could not so she strained to hear what was going on in the other room.
"I need the heroin Sawyer."
"Right doc…" It sounded like he was getting up to leave.
"And Kate's going with you," Jack said, walking back into the room where Libby was.
"What!" Kate exclaimed standing up, releasing the pressure on Libby's stomach.
Jack immediately ran over and held the towel down.
"Why should I go with him? Kate asked. Could her not stand her to such an extent that he would send her away, even when she was trying to help? "I need to stay here and help you with Libby!"
"I can't do anything for Libby without that heroin," Jack said, becoming stiff.
"Basically Freckles, the doc here knows that the heroin is at the same place the guns are and he wants the guns. I can either help save poor Libby or kill her if I don't show you the guns."
Kate looked at Jack who was leaning over Libby's body, taking a pulse.
"Yes, Sawyer that's exactly what I want: to find out where the guns are. But for now, just go get the heroin. That's all that matters."
"You hid the guns here? Right underneath you?"
"Yes Freckles, now do you want to go back or not?" said Sawyer impatiently.
They came upon Hurley as they exited the tent.
"Hey guys, have you seen Libby?" he asked.
A tear rolled down Kate's face without her realizing it. Her saw it though.
"What's up Kate?" he said looking concerned.
She didn't say anything and Hurley looked to Sawyer who looked away upon his gaze.
"Hurley…" Kate started, stepping towards him.
A look of pure terror crossed Hurley's face, "Is Libby okay?"
Both of them stayed silent, Kate with a pitying expression on her face.
"IS LIBBY OKAY!" he repeated with urgency.
Kate put her hand on his shoulder and softly said, "She…she was shot…"
Hurley nearly fell to the ground but straightened up, "Let's go."
His face was set.
Kate ran into the hatch and shoved the statue in Jack's hands and collapsed on the couch. She had sprinted to the hatch as she never had done before. Why? She wasn't sure. Maybe because she wanted to show Jack she was good. She wanted things to get better between them but she didn't think it could. Jack ignored her now. She knew she had hurt him when she had kissed him and then run. She had run because she knew Jack was too good for her. She had run because she couldn't love and then hurt him, as she knew she would do. But she had ended up doing it even while trying to prevent it from happening.
"Love?" Kate thought astounded, "I don't love Jack…Why am I thinking about loving Jack while Libby is between life and death? I'm so screwed up!"
She was crying again. This time Sawyer saw and came over and sat next to her. He put his arm around her. She was so broken that she didn't even resist. She stopped crying though. She just sat there, trying to understand the fear and sadness coursing through her veins.
Hurley let out a wail that pierced Kate's heart. She sat up straight, breaking free of Sawyer's arms.
Jack came out of the room, limp and weak. He look at Kate briefly, a split-second glance and when and closed himself in the bathroom. She saw how hurt he was. He hadn't been able to save her. She knew every time he couldn't save someone was a heavy blow to his heart.
There was a loud smashing noise and the sound of shattering glass. It came from the bathroom.
It was at that moment that Kate realized her fear. It was the fear of loosing Jack. The way Hurley had lost Libby. It was the fear of losing Jack like she had lost Tom. She had survived then, but if anything happened to Jack now, she wasn't sure she would be able to live through it.
She ran to the bathroom and opened the door. Jack sat on the floor, covered in little scratches from the shards of glass. Kate saw that the mirror had been broken. He was crying: he had broken it out of frustration.
Kate started brushing off pieces of glass but before she could do anymore, Jack pulled her down into an embrace.
Her head rested on her shoulder and she wished she could melt into him. Her tears poured freely now. Jack's strong arms held her tight.
"I'm sorry I ran," Kate sobbed into Jack's shoulder.
"Jack put his hand under Kate's chin and tilted her head up.
"What?" he asked softly.
"I…I…I couldn't do it. I kissed you but…I didn't want to hurt you…I'll never be good enough for you. I'm a criminal…a fugitive. You're a doctor, you save the people I hurt…how could you ever love me?"
"Love?"
Kate froze, "Yes…I- I think I love you Jack- if loving someone is being afraid to loose them… If loving someone is feeling safe with them… If loving someone is wanting to spend all your time with them… then yes I love you."
She looked up tentatively.
Jack looked deeply into Kate's eyes.
He laughed lightly and hugged her even though tears were still flowing down his face.
"You know, I think I might love you too."
Whadya think? Please review! Constructive criticism is welcome and much appreciated but no flames please. :)
-mugglecastlover31 (jate lover as well)