Title: Pick Up the Pieces
Summary: Eli and Clare's journey to find each other again after Spring Break. My own season eleven.
Author's Note: I wanted to write something for this. It probably won't be as long as it should be; hopefully only six-ten chapters at most, but I'd like to see them find themselves with Eli getting therapy and Clare struggling with her own identity.
.-.
It was the third day of Spring Break and Eli hadn't heard a thing from Clare since the night of his accident. Well, it wasn't an accident at all. He meant to destroy Morty with every fibre of his being, just so Clare would be happy. But that didn't turn out the way that he wanted it to. Now he lost his car, his freedom and the love of his life.
He pursed his lips as he crossed his arms over his chest, wincing slightly as his parents sat beside him with Dr. Tucker sitting right across from them, smiling gently.
"I don't get why I'm here. I'm absolutely fine," Eli mumbled darkly. Dr. Tucker sighed as she glanced at Bullfrog and Cece before back at the troubled teenager.
"Elijah, your parents are very concerned about you and frankly, so am I. This is just an initial assessment anyways so if there truly isn't anything wrong, you can go about your way quite freely and continue with your life. But for now, until I can decide if you need to continue treatment at CAMH, you will have to cooperate with me and the other doctors," Dr. Tucker explained gently. Eli tugged the ends of his hair, glancing down at his cast before back at the young doctor.
"I'm not crazy. I don't have some mental disease or anything," Eli grumbled. Cece sighed as she touched Eli's shoulder warmly. He flinched away, keeping his eyes trained on the ground.
"Eli, we are very worried about you. You haven't been the same since you came to Degrassi, maybe ever since Julia's death. We just don't think that you're coping as much as you want to think that you are," Cece soothed gently. Eli shook his head, looking up at his mother for the first time since they got to the doctor's office.
"That's where you're wrong. I have moved on from Julia! I have been good! So what if I've been acting a little different? Death can change a person, Cece!" Eli defended himself.
"This is what we're talking about, Eli. Do you realize that you haven't called us Mom or Dad since last year?" Bullfrog jumped in. Eli tore his eyes away from his mother and trained it on his father.
"You've never objected to it before," Eli answered smoothly and Bullfrog sighed, glancing at Dr. Tucker.
"Elijah, this isn't your first sign, according to your parents. They say that you've had hoarding problems, as well as violence toward others and obsessions toward your girlfriends," Dr. Tucker said slowly. Eli turned his head toward her, giving a shaky laugh.
"I don't know what you mean. Ok, I have had some issues with...hoarding, but I'm getting better! And the violence is only because of the violence reciprocated toward me! And I haven't been obsessed with Clare or Julia!" Eli cried out angrily. Dr. Tucker took a deep breath as Cece gripped Eli's hand tightly.
"Eli, you've scared poor Clare almost to death. You won't let her go and it took you too long to let go of Julia. Please, we just want you to get better," Cece pleaded. Eli couldn't even look at his mother right now. He honestly felt too angry to look at her. They wanted him to see some therapist, possibly even committed in this god forsaken place just because he crashed his car all because of Clare.
Alright, so it sounded a little crazy but he wasn't completely loopy. He knew exactly what he was doing, so it wasn't like it was out of his control. He chose to do all of this, so he couldn't be mentally insane, right?
"But I love Clare so much. I just want to make her happy," Eli whispered softly. Bullfrog put a hand on Eli's shoulder, squeezing gently.
"We know, Eli. But the best way to let Clare be happy is to let her go and get some help," Bullfrog said but it was the wrong thing to say, as Eli jerked away from his parents and got to his feet, almost falling over as he grabbed his crutches.
"I'm not crazy!" he screamed out. His parents both flinched, glancing nervously at Dr. Tucker, who seemed to struggle to control her own emotions.
"Sit down, Elijah. Contrary to what you believe, this isn't helping your cause. The fact of the matter is that you are a minor and your parents have given their consent for treatment so you can get better. The sooner you accept that there is clearly something deeper inside that is troubling you, the sooner your treatment can be over," Dr. Tucker stated curtly. Eli clenched his jaw but sat back down reluctantly.
"I thought you said that this was only an initial assessment," Eli stated dully. Dr. Tucker sighed as she placed her hands on her lap.
"From this one assessment, Elijah, I have concluded that it would be best to continue therapy sessions and figure out what is really going on. It could be serious," Dr. Tucker admitted. Eli shook his head in denial. This could not be happening to him.
"What does this mean, Dr. Tucker? Will he have to be...committed?" Bullfrog asked nervously as Dr. Tucker shook her head, giving a warm smile at the family.
"No, I do not know how serious this is yet, so I think that outpatient therapy sessions will be best, though I am worried about Elijah inflicting harm upon himself," Dr. Tucker started to explain before Eli interrupted.
"I told you, I wasn't trying to kill myself. It was all for Clare," Eli stated stubbornly. Dr. Tucker nodded slowly before scribbling on her notepad before ripping a piece of and writing something down before handing it to Cece.
"Since it is Spring Break, I am willing to meet with Elijah for the remainder of the week and then we'll see what we can work out for when he goes to school. If this is more serious than I think right now, then I suggest we talk about inpatient therapy for the summer," Dr. Tucker finished. Eli let out a hollow laugh as he got back on his feet, his parents slowly following.
"I don't need this, you know. You're just wasting your time," Eli stated before turning and hobbling out the door. Bullfrog glanced at Dr. Tucker once more before offering a feeble smile.
"See you tomorrow at one," he said gently before following his wife out the door.
.-.
Clare sighed as she gazed out the window of The Dot, Adam chatting with Alli. She knew she should be more into the conversation, but her mind was far away. More specifically, she was thinking of Eli. She didn't want to, but he kept appearing in her mind. He was so manipulating and so sinister and she knew she did the right thing in breaking up with him, but she was just so furious at him for pulling the stunts that he did. What happened to the sweet Eli she fell in love with so many months ago? Now it seemed like he was a shadow of himself, being super overprotective and manipulating.
"Hey, Clare? You still with us?" Adam asked, breaking her thoughts. She blinked before nodding uncertainly, giving a feeble smile.
"Sorry, I'm just- sorry," Clare said quietly, looking down at her milkshake. Alli gave Adam a quick look before placing a hand on Clare's arm.
"It's ok to be upset. I mean, Eli's a jerk for trying to manipulate you into staying with him," Alli said lowly. Clare nodded slowly as she looked up at her two best friends, struggling to hold back her tears.
"He just- he's disappointed me so much in the past month and I don't know why he's changed so much. It's like he turned into Crazy Eli or something. I get that it's the anniversary of Julia's death but it's still scary to see how much he really does still love her," Clare admitted. Adam sighed as he sat back in his chair.
"I know what you mean. You don't think that it's hard to be best friends with the guy and having him act so differently as the anniversary came up? It's scary to see him so possessive and so overprotective. We all know that that is not Eli. But I'm sure that come post Spring Break, he'll be fine and all sweet again," Adam said as confidently as he could muster but even Clare sensed that he didn't fully believe the last part.
"I hope so. I just want Eli back. Not as a boyfriend, of course, but as a friend," Clare clarified as Alli shot her a look.
"Clare, I know this is hard for you. I can't even imagine what you're going through. I've never actually had an overprotective boyfriend before. Do you think you're going to call him this week?" Alli asked but Clare shook her head, sipping her milkshake.
"I'm not ready to face him, let alone talk to him. Maybe by next week, I will be. But right now, I can't. I need to give him space; I need space as well. It's- it's hard, but it has to be done," Clare admitted before closing off the topic. Alli knew that she was done with the topic of Eli for now and moved on to another one.
"So, what do you think of Fiona apparently being a lesbian?" Alli asked helpfully, causing a glare from Adam. Clare just sighed as she forced herself to forget about Eli for the moment, letting herself stay on track with her friends.
.-.
Not one of his friends called during that Spring Break. Not one. It was the last day before Eli would have to go back to school and he was stuck with Dr. Tucker in their last assessment, where it would be decided how long treatment would go on for and if he actually was mentally sick or not.
This had been the worst Spring Break ever. Besides the Thursday being the one year anniversary of Julia's death and being on complete house arrest with no visitors and no phone calls (though he did take his phone back on the Friday to see absolutely no messages or missed calls from his so called friends), it was just incredibly boring and stupid to keep coming to Dr. Tucker when he knew that he was fine.
His parents were, once again, sitting right beside him as they waited for Dr. Tucker to come in. They hadn't come to his last three sessions, so it was weird to have them here with him, waiting for the news. All week, he had been as honest as he could be as well as vague and subtle, so Dr. Tucker wouldn't mistake him for a crazy person. He tried to be rational and calm but it was definitely hard when he was going stir crazy all break.
"Elijah, Mr and Mrs Goldsworthy, it's nice to see you all," Dr. Tucker said when she opened the door, causing the three to turn. Eli felt his palms sweat. Alright, so he was incredibly nervous. This moment would define the rest of his high school life, possibly the rest of his existing life, and he just wanted the best to happen.
"So, what's the verdict, doc?" Eli asked, cutting right to the chase. He wasn't as angry as he was last week, as he realized that being angry wasn't going to help things. He didn't want to accept all of this, but he knew that he had to for the time being. Besides, he was more distracted by the fact that none of his friends tried to contact him to find out how he was doing. That just made him question if maybe they hated him because Clare asked them to, or if they hated him because of his love for Clare.
Either way, nobody seemed to like him anymore and Eli just wanted to know why. Though he had a pretty good idea. He did go a little overboard with crashing Morty but he would have thought that they would have stuck by his side after all of this. Eli sighed as he forced his mind back on the current situation, as Dr. Tucker shuffled through papers.
"My verdict is not a happy one, Eli. I'm sorry. I know how much you hate these therapy sessions but I feel like, after talking with you for a week, it would be wise and recommended for you to continue so we can figure out what is really wrong with you. At this point in time, I do not know about the inpatient situation that we had discussed for the summer, so I'd like to continue seeing you as an outpatient until the end of the school year. Then we can discuss the three options of either admitting you as an inpatient for the summer, keep going with the outpatient therapy or possibly stopping these sessions altogether, though I have to inform you that the third option may not be possible," Dr. Tucker admitted.
Eli sighed as he closed his eyes, refusing to acknowledge that he even heard her. He tuned his parents out as they asked questions to Dr. Tucker; instead, he focused on his thoughts. He really didn't want to go to therapy; it sucked and he didn't want to open up to some stranger that barely knew him. The week had been hell enough as it was. On top of that, he would be in this cast for five more weeks, his neck hurt like hell and his pinkie on his right hand was throbbing. This situation couldn't get any worse.
Oh wait, it could. If Clare didn't talk to him at school tomorrow, then he wouldn't know what to do.
"Eli? Do you understand?" Cece asked, breaking him out of his thoughts. Eli threw himself back in reality and shrugged.
"I don't know. Whatever," he muttered. Cece sighed before turning to Dr. Tucker, standing up and shaking her hand.
"Thank you so much. Eli will see you tomorrow at five," Cece stated. Bullfrog stood up, offering Eli a hand but he ignored it, pulling himself up and gripping his crutches tightly. His life officially sucked.
.-.
Clare sighed as she glanced at herself in the mirror, Alli sitting on her bed, flipping through a magazine.
"I cannot believe that Spring Break is already over. I'm gonna miss sleeping in and hanging out all day with my best friend," Alli stated sadly as Clare nodded, smiling awkwardly. She wanted to feel excited about going back to school, but all she felt were butterflies. Tomorrow would be the first day back at school and she would have to see Eli again, the first time in over a week. She couldn't help but feel nervous over that; after all, he went completely nuts over her and almost killed himself. He was also manipulative and she was afraid that he would pull her back into his lies and deceptions. She was also completely terrified at how he would act. Would he be crazy and all Clare obsessed again or would he be calm and back to his old self?
She realized that she probably should have called on Thursday to see how he was; after all, that was the date of Julia's death and she knew how heartbroken he was over her, so calling would have made him feel a bit better. But when she picked up that phone, she put it back down. She wasn't ready to call him or see him quite yet. She hoped that he was alright, though, and she hoped that he was healing up nicely.
"You're nervous about going back, aren't you?" Alli asked, seeing her friend's distress. Clare nodded slowly, combing out her hair as she spoke.
"I can't help it, Alli. I mean, what's going to happen tomorrow with Eli? Will he be crazy or will he be sweet? Things are just too unpredictable with him right now and he scares me so much. Was all of this just because of the anniversary or is there something really wrong with him? I'm just scared to find out the consequences with him. I don't think I can take it," Clare admitted. Alli sighed as she stood up so she was standing right next to Clare. She looked in the mirror before back at her friend.
"Listen to me, Clare Edwards. You are the best, strongest and sweetest friend I have ever known. You can handle this. All you have to do is ignore Eli and you will be fine. You can show him that nobody pushes Clare Edwards around, not even Eli Goldsworthy. You show him that he is not even worthy of your presence and you show him that you're not going to grovel or give in to his manipulations," Alli stated. Clare pursed her lips, unsure.
"But what if something really is wrong with him? Shouldn't I be there for him?" she asked. Alli shook her head, placing both hands on Clare's shoulders.
"You have to be there for yourself first. You have to meet your own needs before meeting Eli's. And if you're this scared of him, you really shouldn't be. You have to deal with yourself before you deal with some stupid boy. Now, you can rock this. Just stay strong," Alli said confidently. Clare couldn't help a small smile appearing on her face. Alli was right; she needed to figure out her needs before deciding anything with Eli. This time tomorrow, she would be confident Clare, the girl that didn't need a boy to satisfy her needs. She would be strong and confident and nobody, not even Eli, could get in her way.
Ok, so the next chapter will deal with the first week of school and how Eli copes with Clare (and some of his friends) ignoring him and Clare will deal with seeing Eli in school and debating whether to talk to him or not.