Mission: Germany x Italy
It wasn't the same anymore.
The way his name sounded on Ludwig's lips used to be like a prayer; soft, serene, and only meant for Feliciano's ears -- a worship. It used to sound like a poem; lyrical, mellow, and filled with emotion. It was preciously recited on his tongue. It used to sound like a piano; graceful and delicate. Those four syllables were played as a beautiful piece in the German's mouth-- at least, it used to.
"Feliciano," He called out.
Now, it was just a mere command; It was strict, cold, and devoid of passion. The melodic chords that used to pluck the strings of his heart is now nothing but a bitter tone. It was sad.
It wasn't the same anymore.
The way Ludwig held him used to be like a candy; sometimes soft, sometimes hard, but always sweet -- like a child cherishing his delicacy, and it never failed to flutter Feliciano's senses. It used to feel like fire; warm and fiery. It burnt and yearned for the Italian. It used to feel like life; it kept Feliciano grounded, it gave him a purpose. It was a gap that he filled in to make the other feel whole -- at least, it used to.
Ludwig reached out a hand and Feliciano took it. He caressed the German's hand, brushing it ever so lightly with his free hand. It was a gentle touch, almost longing for something that once sparked between them, almost longing for something that's long lost.
Now, it was like a storm; harsh, rough, and it was anything but pleasant. What used to make him feel like he belonged, now sent chills down his spine and broke him. It crushed him..
It wasn't the same anymore.
The way Ludwig looked at him used to be like a blessing; special, genuine, and it used to constantly remind Feliciano that there were wonderful things in life. It used to be like a fairytale; promising happy endings and everything nice. It was almost too good to be true. It used to be like a flower; tender and holding a meaning. Those intense blue orbs used to gaze at him as if he was the world; as if he was everything -- at least, it used to.
Feliciano hanged his head low, eyes downcast. He can't seem to make himself look at the German in the eye because he knows he'll keep searching for something that's no longer in those sky-colored eyes.
Now, it was like a cavity; corrosive, painful, and it left a huge hole on Feliciano's heart. Slowly, it destroyed what those wonderful blue orbs held. It ended what was once between them.
It wasn't the same anymore.
Still, Feliciano mustered a cherished yet bittersweet smile. It was love alloyed with pain, but it was an honest gesture. "Silly Ludwig..."
They sat beside each other, seemingly isolated from the rest of the world. When the Italian finally looked up, he saw that Ludwig's gaze was distant; aloof. As if he was anywhere but beside him. Feliciano's chest ached at the thought of that.
What happened to them? What happened to 'us'?
Ludwig used to do everything for him. When his first pet cat died and he spent weeks moping, Ludwig was there for him. When he forgot about their anniversary, Ludwig didn't get mad, instead, he was the one who surprised Feliciano. When he'd leave a trail of mess, it was Ludwig who cleaned after him. It was always him. It's funny because the one who ran out of love was Ludwig as well.
Feliciano knew that it was no use remembering that. It wouldn't change anything, it wouldn't turn back time, and it wouldn't return what was lost. He loved the German, he truly did, but it seems that he's the only one left loving, and the very same affection he gives the other is what's causing his unhappiness and Feliciano didn't want that. It feels as if he was the one trapping Ludwig; suffocating him while pretending there was still something between them. The Italian heaved a sigh, feeling constrained. They didn't have to pretend anymore, they didn't need to keep this act up, and neither did Ludwig need to make up reasons.
He softly squeezed the German's hand, snapping him out of his trance. "Hey, Ludwig."
"What is it, Feliciano?"
He doesn't want to make it difficult for the other so he just gave the German a smile laced with anguish and regret. His feelings, his worries, this relationship... This time, he would be the one to something about it. This time, he would be the one who'd do someting for Ludwig. Feliciano knew that it was about time he ended it.
So he did.