"Time for bed, Ana," Roger said.
A tiny girl with dark brown hair was sitting on the floor next to the armchair where Roger sat. She looked up and said, "Daddy, can you teach me how to play 'Stairway to Heaven?'"
He laughed. "Maybe when your fingers can reach the frets."
"But Dad, that will take years! So can you teach me?"
"We'll see. Maybe we can a few chords tomorrow. Okay, bed. Now."
"Can't I just finish this story, Daddy?"
"Sweetheart," he said, looking of from his worn copy of his favorite novel, Actual Reality: by Thomas J. Collins, "you should have been in bed a half hour ago."
"Please, daddy!" Ana looked up at him with her mother's big brown eyes and his heart melted.
"I'll give you to the end of the page," he decided.
"But Daddy," she pleaded, "It's Dr. Seuss. There are only 10 words on each page."
"Fine," he relented. How could he say no to her?
He listened proudly as she read aloud. "Never bite the dentist when he works inside your head," Ana sang out the words, "The dentist is your teeth's best friend. Bite someone else instead!" She giggled and glanced up at him. "Do you think that's funny, Daddy ?
"Hm?" Roger had been staring at her…remembering.
"Do you think this book is funny?"
""Yeah," he said, coming back to reality. "Of course! Seuss is my favorite! Now, bed time."
"Okay," she agreed, yawning. Roger laid his book aside, got up from his chair, picked up his child and flung her over his shoulder. She giggled with insane happiness.
"Daddy!"
He carried Ana into her room. Mimi had painted the walls purple two years ago when purple was Ana's favorite color. Her favorite was pink now, but Ana want interested in repainting. The purple walls had been a surprise from her mommy. She said it would be wrong to paint over it.
Roger placed her on the bed and covered her with the blue blanket that was covered in pink and purple flowers. He kissed her head. "I love you," he said.
"I love you, too." He turned to leave the room, but stopped when Ana said, "Will you tell me a story?"
"You just read The Tooth Book."
"I know," she said, snuggling under the covers, "but your stories are way better."
"Fine." He sat down at the edge of her, sighed, bed and began. "Once upon a time there was a beautiful land called America where the streets were paved with gold and everyone was happy. But then, the country was taken over by evil conservatives called Republicans. They burned the Liberal's villages, and sacrificed their democratic children, and marched to protest gay marriage. They were muy icky. So the moral of the story is: vote democratic or else. The end. Now, you've got school tomorrow, so as much as we all hate it, you need to go to bed."
"Okay," Ana said. She blew him a kiss, which he caught in mid-air, making her laugh again. "Make sure you leave the light on." He nodded and left the room. The door was nearly closed when Roger saw his daughter climb out of bed. He was about to go back in and try to find the courage to scold her, when he saw her kneel beside her bed and clasp her hands together, as if in prayer. Where did she learn that? He and Mimi had never been religious. The closest they'd ever brought their daughter to religion was by reading her, "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe." They'd never told her to believe in God, or taught her to pray. He continued watching Ana through the nearly-closed door and hoped she wouldn't get mad if she noticed him.
Then she started to speak. "It's been a year, Mommy. I really really miss you. Daddy says you're safe now, in a beautiful place called Heaven. We had your favorite dinner tonight. I ate it all up, even though I don't like carrots. I learned how to swim this summer. I can even open my eyes underwater. Can you see me? I started kindergarten this year. I carry a picture of us in my Blues Clues lunch box. You are the greatest Mommy. I can swing on the swing by myself! …Even though I miss you pushing me. Can you see me? I miss how you used to tickle me! Tickle my belly...My belly hurts. I try not to cry. Daddy says it's okay. He cries, too, sometimes. I know you don't like it when we cry. You never wanted me to be sad. I try, Mommy, but it hurts. Is it true you're not coming home? Maybe someday I can visit you in Heaven, okay? It's time for me to go to bed now. I sleep with the light on. Just in case you come home and kiss me goodnight. I love you so much. I miss you, Mommy." She lifted her head and climbed back into bed, then squeezed her eyes shut and fell asleep.
Roger was still watching from outside his child's room. Salty tears stung his eyes. His throat was tight. He'd known Ana missed her mother terribly, but he hadn't fully realized how hard it had been. He hadn't ever liked his own mom, so he really couldn't relate. But Mimi had been the best mother in the entire world. Roger knew Ana might never be whole again. When he was sure she was fast asleep, he opened her door and came into her room. She looked so sweet and innocent. She'd be turning 6 soon. It wouldn't be long until she had her first boyfriend. Or until she started driving. Or until the first time she got grounded. Or until she fell in love for the first time. And it wouldn't be long until she didn't need her daddy anymore. She would always love him, though. Even after he was gone, which might be rather soon. There were lichens on his torso. One was on his forehead. When Ana had asked what it was, he told her he walked into a door, and she laughed. He might have a year. Maybe two or three. He thanked whatever God there might be for sparing his only child from disease.
And he remembered what Mimi had said they day she found out her T Cells were low. "I wish I could be here to watch her grow up. But you know, the important thing is that she will grow up."
Roger wiped a tear from his eye and lay down next to his little girl. "I love you," he whispered, to both Ana and Mimi, and then fell asleep.