So this is my first Hunger Games story. Wish me luck :D anyway... review tell me what you think!

Summary:

Katniss has had nightmares since she was 11 years old. At first they were about her dad but when she participated in the 74th hunger games they became about Mutts and death. Now, as Katniss is stuck in a hospital bed in district 13 after the 75th hunger games they are about Peeta. When Gale tries to help all he does is become more and more frustrated... will Katniss ever let him in?

... told you its sort of Gale/Katniss sort of not :p

~djpaulyc~

Every time I close my eyes I see the same things play over and over in my mind. Peeta. Peeta watching me in class, Peeta giving me bread, Peeta's name being called up for the reaping, Peeta and I with Haymitch, Peeta holding my hand in the chariot, Peeta telling everyone in Panem that he loves me, Peeta shaking his head at me before the games begin, and the only image that is etched into my head I think forever; Peeta's smile as he called me sweetheart. Yes, that is the moment that pops up and over takes the others, his smile such a contrast of white compared to the mud he's camouflaged in. His canine teeth so sharp but protected by his lips, lips I know to be warm and sweet. I broke down and cried again for the millionth time since I woke up in District 13.

I took a deep breath; my name is Katniss Everdeen. I am seventeen years old. My home is District 12. I was in the Hunger Games. I escaped. The Capitol hates me. Peeta was taken prisoner. He is thought to be dead. Most likely he is dead. It is probably best if he is dead… I went through everything that I use to clear my head, but tonight? Tonight I'm stuck in a mental block I can't overcome. Maybe it's the tears staining my cheeks as they flow from my eyes to the hospital blanket. I would have thought that by midnight the darkness would have dragged me into unconsciousness but I have been up and images of Peeta having been playing nonstop for at least four hours now.

I watched as one more tear fell. It slipped right from my paling cheek to the blanket around my legs. The salty water reminded me too much of him. The clock slowly ticking me to insanity reminded me of him. Even this bed reminded me of him, even though he's never stepped foot in District 13.

Peeta. Peeta Mellark.

Why did everything in this room remind me of Peeta? Could it be that exactly one year ago tonight that Peeta held me so gently in his arms while I dreamed of killing and evil wolf-like creatures who resembled those who had recently died in the arena during the seventy fourth Hunger Games? Was it because while I was stuck in this hospital aching for Peeta's arms to encase me in protection he was being held captive in the capitol being beaten and nearly killed by President Snow? Or was it because I was in love with Peeta Mellark?

I whispered the words "I am in love with Peeta Mellark" a few times to see how they tasted and I said them I knew them to be true every time I utter his name. I'm not sure what type of love it is but it ached in my chest when I thought about the horrible things the Capitol could be doing to him while I slept here in 13.

The tears continued to fall even after I was finally given enough Morphling to stop the aches and finally get any amount of sleep. The nightmares were only worse when I was drugged because every time I wake up screaming and struggling I know Peeta isn't anywhere where he can hold me in his arms and tell me everything is alright. That one thought is what crumbles me every time. Peeta isn't anywhere I can touch him or feel his warmth.
The tears usually start again after that realization sets in.

Tonight, Gale must have heard me because as I screamed out in pain he pushes through the curtain and immediately makes an effort to comfort me.

In my disoriented state I notice the pain on his face as I scream Peeta's name over and over and thrash around because he isn't Peeta. He does try though and that helps. Some. All I want is Peeta to hold me and whisper the things that he seems to know will calm me down.

Gale isn't exactly the best at calm. He has a fire in him and when I ignite he does too.

"Katniss! Katniss! Calm down. You're fine!" He seems to yell as I thrash and try to rip his hands off of me.

"Fine! Cry for him! He's probably dead anyway!" Gale screams in my face as he pulls his hands away from me and storms out. Then I really cry. Cry for Peeta, cry at Gale's harsh words, cry for more Morphling. Eventually the medication does knock me out and I watch the same things play out all over again.

The next day, Gale must still be mad because he doesn't show up at lunch like he usually does. I only see him after dinner during Reflection.

"Catnip," He nods as he opens the curtain.

"Gale I can-"I start but he finishes as he sits down.

"Explain? No you can't. You don't even know." He says searching my face.

"I do know. You were here. I cried." I try to sit up.

"So you were awake enough to know. Haymitch told me there was no way you would have been fully awake." He says harshly.

"I was awake only enough to know you weren't Peeta. And that's it. You got mad at me for crying for him and not you. I'm not a fool." I say moving my hand to the metal bracelet around my wrist.

"You were crying out for a dead man! He can never hold you again!" Gale stands about to leave.

"And this is why I want Peeta here and not you! When I cry he shows me compassion and you don't!" I cry out. He turns toward me and presses his lip to mine; forcefully, too hard. I slap him away and cover my head with the thin hospital blanket as he walks out with anger. I cry again.

Prim shows up after about an hour; Being a doctor's assistant works well for us.

"Katniss, come out. Please?" She asks as she sits in the chair beside my bed. She moves the chair closer to my bed as she tries to coax me out of my cocoon.

"Prim," I almost burst into more tears.

"Katniss, I'm right here. I promise." She moves off the chair and sits on the bed beside me. I peek my head out and she hugs me.

"Gale," I say but Prim shushes me.

"I know, he was upset at dinner. He said something about Peeta under his breath. Can you tell me what happened?" She asks as she caresses my hair.

"Last night, I uh, I had a nightmare. I guess I was yelling Peeta's name. Gale came in and tried to calm me down but he isn't one for compassion. I was barely awake and all I knew was he wasn't Peeta so I forced him away. He yelled at me. He told me I wanted a dead man and that Peeta can never hold me again. He left as I cried myself back to sleep." I hold back tears as I tell Prim all that happened before dinner.

"Oh Katniss. You aren't still upset about something as silly as that are you?" She kisses the top of head before I tell her the rest.

"Oh Gale. He's just upset. He wants you to get better and the doctors said you won't get better until you come to terms with Peeta being in the capitol. If it helps Haymitch thinks that the Capitol will keep Peeta alive as long as they can." Prim whispers.

"I do not trust Haymitch but I'll believe him on this one." I whisper back and then I just cry Prim comforts me. She does a lot better than Gale.

Right before lights out, Gale shows up again. He stands at the foot of my bed without saying anything for long time. I try to not feel embarrassed but he just stands there. I sit up in bed and look back.

"Gale?" I ask as he puts his hands on the bed and leans forward.

Gale climbs onto my bed, "Katniss, I'm sorry." He crawls his way to me on the other side of the bed. He lies down beside me and covers both of us with my blanket. I lay down and snuggle into his strong chest and he wraps his arms around me. I thought that maybe I could deal with this. Learn to enjoy this...

For the first time since I arrived in district 13, I sleep without any dreams…