Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Wish I did, but I don't.
A/N: Thank you for reading my first fic, R/R please. I have this story completely outlined. It has a beginning and eventually it will have an end. I don't have a beta. I always try my best but there might or might not be mistakes, life will go on. I don't do it on purpose or to annoy you. I do appreciate you taking the time to ready my story. Thanks again! Now lets begin!
There are places I remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all
In My Life-The Beatles
I sped past the Welcome to Forks sign so fast it was a mere glimpse out the corner of my eye.
I was home. Home hadn't been where I was, it was where I was going, where I am. It had been four years, four long years. I had finished school six days ago, skipped my commencement ceremony, packed my life in a few boxes and got in the car. There wasn't anybody special to say goodbye to and I knew I wasn't going to be missed. Sad, Yes. But four years ago I had a mission. Runaway. And I did.
I wasn't always like this, it wasn't who I was, what I had become. I was happy.... no that doesn't quite describe my life years ago. I lived in a bubble of sheer perfection. My life WAS perfect and I could never imagine how much that would change. We were all under that misconception.
Us.
Them.
The six of us.
We just were, it just was.
There wasn't a magnificent moment in my life that didn't include one of them, all of them. Our moments. Our memories. Shopping with Alice, Rosalie's dirty mouth, Em's protectiveness, Jasper's talks, and Edward's.... well Edward's everything. I missed them now, more than I realized, more than I would admit to myself all these years. I was strong like that, able to shield my emotions, put them away. We grew together, shared laughs, shared life. We were each other's first, some more than others. It was hard to date, bring anyone else into our little bubble. I mean we did it, but when we were together we never talked about it, it was though it really didn't happen. We lost others because of our friendship, I mean who really ever could compete?
We were each other's sanity, sanctity, our paradise in this rainy little town. It was silly, we really believed that we would exist in each other's lives forever. We were young, naive.... hopeful? I mean we knew the facts. We were going to college and no not together. There would be holidays, vacations. Something. Instead I had not been home in years. The last time was so heartbreaking I could not bare to stand it again. There had been calls, emails, a visit to them, a visit to me. But never had I come home again. The one place I was wanted, where I needed to be. Home.
Alice had called me last month begging me to come back after school. If I wouldn't come back for good for her and everyone else I was at least obligated to return for the promise we made when we were fourteen. The wedding promise three silly teen girls made at our Friday night sleepover. We would be part of each other's weddings. It hit me like a ton of bricks, she had moved on. She was going to have a life. I was happy and sad all at the same time… and envious.
That was the push I needed to get my life together. When I called her back and said not only was I coming but I was back for good her scream brought me back. That act alone made me feel like a kid again, her pure excitement. I didn't ask about anybody else, I knew they would be there too. Only Alice could bring us back and I knew what she wanted in return. Well from me at least.
The last I heard things were bad. He wasn't the same, he hadn't been the same. My own selfishness prevented me seeing what I was meant to be seen. What I should have seen. But how could I fix it if I was still so broken?
Not anymore. He needed us. He needed me. Though I'm not sure he knew that yet.
I parked outside of the gates and got out of car. The freshness, the mist hit me hard. No place smelled like this, clean. The wind blew my hair and I was cold. California had never been like this, which was why I was back. As much as I hated it then, I couldn't help but smile as the crisp breeze hit my face.
I walked up the hill, slowly. I was dreading this moment. I had not been back here since that rainy morning. Three days after that night. That night that would forever change us.
"Hey."
Nothing. The wind blew.
"So I'm back… for good… well not here, I'll be in Seattle, but you know what I mean."
"Ummm…" I had played this out a million times during my drive home, but now that I was here nothing I planned to say came out.
"So can you believe Alice is getting married? I was on my way to meet him but I had to come see you. His name is Jackson Monroe and he is from some small southern town. Sound familiar? I'm sure she has already told you." I could tell that she had come for a visit. How often does she come, how many times? Has he ever? My mind was wandering and I needed to bring it back.
"She misses you…." Everyday, I'm sure of this, she tells me. Who else does she tell? I wonder, I wonder lots of things. Come back again Bella. I was gone again. This moment was harder than I thought it would be.
"God I miss you….and I'm sorry."
"Sorry I haven't been back, sorry I haven't come to see you, sorry that I didn't take care of them, sorry for….that night." I hate that night. The hate consumed me, made me runaway. Not anymore.
"I know I can't change it, but I had to say it. I will fix this. Me, them. That's why I'm home. I can't change that night but I will make us better. Him better."
"Okay then, I have to go. I'll be back soon, I promise." The wind blew and carried the old wilted flowers way. Alice's flowers.
"Okay….." I held my breath for a moment and closed my eyes.
I exhaled and opened my eyes. "Bye."
I took one last look and held back my tears.
Jasper Whitlock 1986-2004
I slowly ran down the hill and got in my car. I was on my way home, not my house. The only place where I was myself. The reason I came back, the reason I was here.
The Cullens.
A/N: Jackson Rathbones real name is Monroe Jackson Rathbone, he told a funny story about it and thats where that came from.