The Finnish Parade
Summary:After the war, a very stupid, pregnant Hermione vanished, but her loopy son Elias Silas is now 11, and returning to the very school from whence he came, along with his naïve father, Draco Malfoy. HG/DM
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the ridiculous name that is Elias Silas.
Chapter One:
Hermione Granger glared at her 11-year-old boy, who was at present peacefully scooping his milk soaked cereal into his mouth, a book lying open in front of him.
She was sitting in the living room, a cup of cold coffee sitting on the table in front of her, and in her hand a thick piece of parchment. Sighing, she turned around again to look at her son. Stupid Brat!
She didn't really think her son was stupid, in fact, he was anything but, and it wasn't his fault that she was so angry. Why did she stay in Britain? Why did she do something so stupid? She cut off all ties with the magical world, ensuring that nobody would ever find out her dirty little secret. The only comfort she had allowed herself was to stay in Britain, even if it was the very North of Scotland. If she had left, if she had gone to America or Australia or even Eastern Europe, her son wouldn't have gotten a letter from Hogwarts asking him to become a student there. He would have received a letter from another school.
Hermione's thoughts were interrupted by a voice, "Mum?"
Hermione smiled softly at her son, after all, he couldn't help it. "Yes Elias?"
He fidgeted, paused for a moment, and then plopped down on the couch next to her.
"I need to ask you something," he said slowly, looking at the parchment on the table in front of him.
Hermione felt a bit nervous, and attempted to push the parchment subtly out of his view. "Sure honey… anything"
He looked back up at her, his grey eyes curious. "Do you believe in magic?"
Hermione froze. She greeted his eyes and frowned slightly, "Why do you ask?"
Elias looked away for a moment, and then turned back to her. "Because, weird things have been happening, and I'm not quite sure how to explain them."
"Like what?" Hermione demanded.
Elias's eyes widened in surprise, "Well", he begun hurriedly, "Like, I was at school the other day, and Patrick was being a jerk…" Elias blushed a bit as Hermione glared at his use of language, "… and I was thinking how it would be funny if he did something stupid like fell off his chair or something. And then, the next thing I knew, he not only fell off his chair, but the table and all the stuff fell on top of him."
Hermione avoided his eyes. Shit.
"Has… has anything like this happened before?" Hermione began slowly, eyeing her son carefully.
Elias nodded. "Yeah, all the time."
"Why do you think it's magic though honey?" Hermione asked curiously. She remembered when these things happened to her as a child, and despite her imagination she had never once considered it being magic.
Elias frowned. "Because this girl at school told me it was"
Hermione's mind was running around in circles, "Girl?"
Elias nodded and glanced again at the parchment. "Yeah, Elise McDougall, she said that all that weird stuff was happening because I was magic or something."
Hermione choked a bit.
Elias frowned again, "I told Mrs. Boswell, but she just laughed at me."
Hermione sighed deeply. She pulled her son a bit closer to her and ruffled his hair. She couldn't put this off, she knew she would have to tell him, he would just keep getting stronger and stronger, and therefore more and more dangerous if she didn't, besides, it wasn't right, and it had been 12 years…
"Honey, let me tell you a little story…"
"So," Elias confirmed, "You mean to tell me all these years I've been doing chores, you could just whip out your wand and clean everything in a second?"
Hermione let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding and laughed. "Seems unfair doesn't it?"
Elias stood up and walked to where the parchment lay. "And you mean to tell me, that this is my acceptance letter? That I am a wizard and get to go off to this school?"
Hermione grinned. "Yes."
Elias grinned manically for a second. "That's so cool!"
Hermione laughed again, "Yes, it is."
Elias flipped the letter around in his hands, "Mum, was dad a wizard?"
Hermione stopped laughing. "Yes Elias, he was."
Elias refused to meet her gaze, "And is that why you left? Because of dad?"
Hermione shut her eyes for a second, refusing to remember. "No, Elias, and yes. It was because of everything, everyone… your father included."
"But why? Why leave? I don't get it, you said that this Henry Potter dude killed Voldemort, why did you have to go?"
Hermione sniggered a little at her son, "Harry Potter, Elias, and you'd be best to remember his name…"
Elias met her eyes for a moment and she continued, "Harry Potter is very famous, Elias, and this war was a very big deal for a very long time."
Hermione grabbed her coffee cup and took a long sip of her disgustingly cold coffee. "And the reason I left? I… I didn't have to go Elias, but after the war it wasn't all sunshine and lollypops, and I was pregnant with you, it was better this way."
Elias nodded as if he understood, but she was sure he didn't. "Don't you miss it?"
Hermione felt a rush of magic through her body, "Yes, I do…" she said quietly, to herself more than her son.
Elias nodded and then clapped his hands together. "So when do I leave?"
:0
Harry Potter paced around his study furiously, "HOW DARE THEY" he screamed, throwing his shoe he had just taken off across the room. "How does he fucking find the courage…?" Harry continued muttering, hobbling across the room with one shoe on to pour himself a large glass of scotch.
Harry gulped it down, his bright green eyes flashing with anger.
"Fucking Weasley's."
"You've finally come around, have you Potter?" an amused voice drawled from the doorway.
Harry spun around, but relaxed when he saw Draco Malfoy leaning arrogantly against his door.
"Shut it, Malfoy"
"Oh come on Potter" Draco continued, laughing slightly, "You have to admit it's mildly amusing, a Weasley firing the famous Harry Potter"
Harry's hand itched for his wand, but Draco noticed the action. "Don't blame the messenger Potter. Minister Weasley is the one you should be hexing. Besides, like I said, it's apparently for your own good!" Draco sneered, not taking his eyes off Harry's hand.
Harry moved towards the scotch bottle again, "Want one Malfoy?" Harry called over his shoulder.
Draco grinned, and sat down on the couch. "Sure"
Harry grabbed another tumbler and poured them each a scotch; he balanced them, along with a bowl of chips and took the sit opposite Draco.
"I guess, " Harry, said in a calmer voice, "…I guess I can take that stupid teaching job Minerva has been bugging me about."
Draco spluttered as he took a sip of his drink. "No way Potter, no way am I having you come and invade my territory!"
Harry grinned. "See Draco, that's what makes it worth it. Tell Minister Weasley I'll relax all right, I'll relax by annoying the crap out of you for the next year!"
Draco Malfoy finished off the rest of his drink in one hit; this was going to be a long idea.
:P
But at that point in time he had no idea just how long that long could be.
Minerva McGonagall sat flipping through the acceptance letters for the new school year, grabbing a chocolate biscuit to nibble on whilst she enjoyed her task. This was always the best part of being Headmistress, she could find out so much juicy information because not only would she receive a list of the most magical children chosen in Britain to attend, but she would receive (by the use of an ancient and now illegal charm) the child's true heritage. Pureblood families were known to lie about a child's heritage at times, probably because they were also known to sleep around a lot.
Minerva chuckled as she tore open another letter from a muggle family telling her it was 'all nonsense' and then, like most of the letters concluded, asking her how on earth she got an owl to carry a letter. She made a mark on her list, slightly annoyed that she would have to make yet another visit to a muggle family to try and convince them magic existed. It wasn't that she disliked muggles, no; it was that she had endured her fair share of abuse from these families. She remembered one particular instance when the father of a prospective student walked out the back to grab 'tea' and when he came back he had a stake and a long piece of rope. She had left very quickly.
"Minerva, how is it going?" a curious voiced called from the wall behind her.
She turned and frowned at the portrait, "It would be going much quicker if you left me to my own devices, Albus."
She grimaced as the man in portrait pouted at her, "Don't be rude Minerva, why I remember when you were just a little girl with cute little pigtails…"
Minerva spat out her tea, "I do believe you've gotten even loopier"
Albus laughed. "Have you heard from Harry?"
Minerva finished her biscuit and nodded, "Actually yes, and although I don't usually approve of your sneaky plans, Arthur Weasley played right into our hands and Harry has accepted," Minerva rolled her eyes at the cheeky grin that played across his face, "… although I do believe that the main reason he has agreed was to annoy our new Transfiguration Professor."
"Ah" Albus nodded knowingly, "Young Mr. Malfoy" He smiled curiously to himself for a second.
Minerva frowned, "Funny how those two ended up friends…"
Albus disagreed, "Not really, Harry and Draco have much more in common than they ever realized… more, I would say, that Miss Granger or Ronald ever did."
Minerva paused over the mention of Hermione, "I still wonder what happened to that girl," she said slowly, reaching for another acceptance letter.
She ignored whatever it was that Albus had said as she matched up the name of the student on the acceptance letter to his heritage… She spluttered in shock, knocking over her pot of tea, which smashed into pieces.
"Minerva?" She heard Albus ask.
But she couldn't move; her question had been answered.
Elias Silas Granger
Mother: Hermione Granger
Father: Draco Malfoy
Minerva gasped in surprise. "Merlin's pants! What was that stupid girl thinking? Elias Silas? The poor boy!"