PLEASE READ AUTHOR'S NOTE
HOLYCRAPIFINALLYGOTOFFMYLAZYBUTT ANDTYPEDTHISUP
*Cough* Hehe
Ok before you read this, this is actually my first fanfiction and it is a COMPLETE mess. The point of view does change, yes I know this and I might change this later but I'm so tired and lazy right now XD. I did post something before but it was more like a test thing, besides it was only like 20 words XD.
I wrote this after I watched HetaOni. I don't think there is any spoilers in here though. This is GREATLY inspired by one of my favorite songs 'Fix You' By one of my favorite bands 'Coldplay' I suggest listening to it while reading, here's a link watch?v=pY9b6jgbNyc
I also don't have a beta so if there are mistakes (Which I'm sure there are) please tell me NICELY in a review ^^
This is actually more like a drabble but oh well
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia OR HetaOni *sobs*
I also don't own the song fix you. I only own the writting. Please enjoy ^^
-When you try your best, but you don't succeed-
He stumbled towards the wall and slowly sank to the ground. Defeated. He had tried so hard, he thought that they would make it out for sure this time! But no. He had failed them. Again. Would this brutal cycle ever end?
-When you get what you want, but not what you need-
He stood motionless. Outside that dreaded house. Rain was pouring down, drenching his clothes and soaking him to the bone. But he noticed none of this, he didn't care. All he had wanted was to get his friends out with him. But it was just him! What the hell! Why was it just him? He had wanted them all out, but he needed them with him.
He couldn't be alone. Not again.
-When you feel so tired but you can't sleep-
Sleep.
That's what he wanted. That's what his body screamed at him to do. But he couldn't. Every time he went to sleep he would lose more memories. He couldn't let that happen. Even if he did manage to fall asleep, he would be woken up with in minutes from nightmares. No, he couldn't, the sleep would have to wait.
-Stuck in reverse-
How many more times? How much more would he have to endure? How much longer could he take it? Stuck in an endless loop, forced to watch his friends, die over and over again. That was the curse he carried. He went in reverse over and over to try to save them. But he couldn't help asking himself; Wasn't life supposed to move forward, not backwards?
-And the tears come streaming down your face-
Happy. He was happy. All his friends could finally get out! But he would have to leave. He would have to stay behind. But they could get out, that was all that mattered. So why was he so sad? No...He was happy... wasn't he? His mind started to blur and he knew he wouldn't last much longer. Someone was running towards him. He tried to make out who it was through the haze and forced himself to concentrate on the incoming figure. "Hey Germany" His answer was weak.
"H-hold on Italy... hold on. I'll make a place for you to rest" Germany stuttered out.
Wait stuttered out? Germany, calm, cool, collective Germany was stuttering? Over him? It was actually a sight to see. He smiled, despite the situation they were in. Germany was fussing over him.
"Really?" he asked.
Germany cringed at how weak he sounded
"Y-yes. Of course!" Italy laughed, even though nothing was funny.
"Then will you make a place for everyone else too?"
"Yes"
They went on like this, Italy rambling on his requests and, Germany agreeing not matter how rediculose it was. Them something hit him. It hit him like a ton of bricks right in the chest.
"Germany?"
"Yes Italy?"
"I-" he choked out "I don't want to die here, I-I wanted to escape with everyone else, with all of you."
And what he said was true; it might have been the truest thing he ever said. Faintly, he noticed tears streaming down his face. But not just his own. Tears from the German were also making his face wet. And he found his eyes focusing in on one single tear, as it seemed to fall in slow motion. The tear kept falling and falling, until he was falling with it, into a warm light that seemed to steal him away from the world.
-When you lose something you can't replace-
No.
NO.
NO!
His closeted friend. Gone. Stolen from him by that damned monster. The one he tried so hard to protect us from.
"Italy...Italy...Italy...please wake up..."
His voice sounded broken even to him. A hand came down on his shoulder, maybe to hold him back, maybe to comfort him. He didn't care either way, because he shook it off gruffly. He couldn't lose him. He wasn't ready for this. There was no manual on how to react to this kind of thing.
Italy...
He was irreplaceable.
-When you love someone but it goes go waste-
He never got to tell him how he felt. It was too late. A Regret he would carry for the rest of his life.
"I'm sorry you're not really here to hear this but... I love you"
-Could it be worse?-
His hands. He noticed how much they had changed since he had entered the house. Once pure hands now tainted with blood. Hands that once held paint brushes and spoons to stir pasta, now held the life of all his friends. Now scared beyond repair. Staring at his hands, a thought came over his mind. Could my situation get any worse? Looking up slowly, the Italian peered around the once white room.
'No,' he thought bitterly 'It could be much worse.'
He wasn't sure how, but he just knew.
-Lights will guide you home. And ignite your bones, and I will try to fix you-
Everything was going well. He had made no mistakes so far. A small flicker of something startled within him, hope.
'NO!' he thought, quickly pushing the emotion away.
'I can't get too hopeful yet.'
If he wasn't careful that small hope could get out of hand, and erupt into a wildfire. And if he failed... he didn't know what he would do. No, he couldn't let this get out of hand. For if his hope was broken again, he didn't know if he would be able to pick up his shattered remains. But he knew one thing for sure. That until that time came, when he couldn't bear the pain any longer, he would try his hardest to fix this mess he had. He would get them home.
-And High above or down below, When you're too in love to let it go-
It stuck him right after he saw him lying there, still and lifeless. When it exactly happened, he still didn't know, and he really didn't care. What really bothered him was 'how?' How had he let this man break down the wall he had so carefully constructed around himself? How had he let himself fall in love? How was he supposed to deal with this? He didn't have the slitiest clue how.
-But if you never try, you'll never know. Just what you're worth-
They weren't mad. Even though it was ME who told America about this Hell hole. It's MY fault we're all here. But still they say it doesn't matter. They say it was THEM who chose to follow the path I had lane out. Still, deep down I know it's all really my fault, but the fact that they chose to forgive me made me happier than I have been in a long, long time. I really could rely on my friends after all. Why couldn't I reach this revelation sooner? Why didn't I let myself trust them sooner? I guess it doesn't matter now. All that matters is that they're all safe. For now.
-Lights will guide you home. And ignite your bones and I will try to fix you-
His eyes. I don't think I can remember a time when his eyes looked so hopeless. His eyes, normally shut tight are now wide open and staring into nothingness. The eyes that normally held happiness and warmth now hold sorrow and despair. They are the eyes of someone who has seen too much. All because of us. All because he wouldn't leave a single one of us behind. Just because he was so damn stuborn. I want so bad just to hold him. To bring back the joy and smile back to his body. I want to fix him. And I will. I don't know how long it will take or if I'll ever be able to even do it, but I can try. And try I will to bring back the beauty to his eyes.
-Tears stream down on your face. When you lose something you cannot replace-
Despite the situation we were in I almost smiled at the scene unfolding before me. Everyone was signing a peace treaty and all my friends were acting normal again. Russia was freaking everyone out and creeping on China. America and England were fighting over something useless. France was standing uncomfortably close to Canada as he tried talking to him. Japan stood quietly off to the side, watching the whole scene. Prussia was bragging to anyone who would listen about how; 'awesome' his new name was. Germany was trying to make Prussia shut up. Romano was cursing and blushing as Spain tried to hug him. Spain was laughing at Romano's red face and commented on how much it reminded him of a tomato. This of course made Romano blush and curse even more. Before I knew it was joining in too. Laughing, fighting and yelling. It was almost as if we weren't even in this place.
Almost.
-Tears stream down on your face-
Life. It was a precious thing. I had come to learn this during my time the mansion. It could be here one second and gone the next. In the blink of an eye everything could change, and you could do nothing about it. So I made a vow with myself. I would always live and enjoy my life when I got out of this place. I would make sure the others would live their life too. After all, isn't life to precious to waste?
-Lights will guide you home...And ignite your bones...and I will try...-
He could see it. He could FINALLY see it. The light of the sun lite up the dark dreary tunnel. The smell of the outside world started to fill his nose. He could practically taste the freedom in his mouth. But the best part of it all was that they were all getting out...together. No one had to give their life. Not one person was being left. Running a head, he turned back and looked at his friends. They looked beaten and worn down, but they also look happy. He smiled at this. It wasn't his normal ditzy smile that everyone knew and loved. And he, himself knew this. Although this whole experience was over, it would take time to heal all his wounds. He was still a bit broken inside. Heck, he might never heal some of his wounds, but it would get better. They all knew this.
So, yes it would take time to heal, but they all certainly had plenty of time. If fact, they had all the time in the world.
Finally, taking one last step, he stopped. They all did. They were out. A swirl of emotions poured over him. Happiness, grief, joy, but most of all relief. It was so over whelming, he fell to his knees. He faintly realized he was crying. But not tears of sadness. He cried tears of promise. Promises of happiness, healing and laughter. The others wear crying too. Hugging each other and sobbing into each other's shoulders. Once everyone got a hold of their emotions, Italy stood in front of them, smiling through the tears, whispering words he never thought he would ever get to say.
"Let's go home."
-To fix you-
Thanks for reading! Reviews are nice and so is helpful critism. Key word HELPFUL.
SO, yeah, if you like it PLEASE tell me XD
That's all Ciao~