Summary:

Edward left in New Moon, but he kept his promise- he never returned. Its been 5 years since he left and Bella has a secret, she was carrying Edward's child, Renesmee. Renesmee wants a daddy. Bella wants an Edward, but sadly, Bella cannot see light at the end og the tunnel as Edward doesnt love her, right? When finally life's looking up for Bella, something happens which is going to really put a spanner in the works...

(ok, ok, i know i'm bad at summary's, well honestly, i suck at them, but please..check it out?)

Me no owny twilight...i know it's a sad affair :'(

Bella's POV

"Mommy, have I been bad?"

"Bad? Of course not sweetie. Why would you think that?" Ever since she was born she was the most polite, nicest little girl I'd ever met. Okay, I'm a little biased, I mean, she is my daughter.

"Because everyone I know has a daddy. You have a daddy. Sara from school has a daddy. I thought that maybe I didn't have a daddy because I was bad." Pain washed over her angelic face.

I'd been dreading this moment for 5 years now. Every day I wondered when she'd ask. Every day it reminded me of him…

"Oh no, sweetheart. It's nothing like that. You've never been bad. There was just an...issue...with your dad," I told her. At that moment I saw her little eyebrows pull together almost meeting in the middle. I soothed it out with my finger. No wonder she was confused. I brought this upon her and it wasn't fair. I had to sort things out, even if it meant risking my sanity, my heart, my everything…

"Well…if I haven't been bad can I have a daddy?" she asked in her sweet musical voice. How could I deny her the chance of getting to meet her father? But, that means I'd have to see him…

Stop being selfish Bella! Think about your daughter. She's more important and you knew this was going to happen someday. Of course an almost 5 year olds little mind is going to wonder…

"Well, you see, the thing is Renesmee, I haven't spoken to your daddy in 5 years," 5 years, 4 months and 29 days to be exact, "you can have a daddy, it's just, I'm not sure how he'll take the news. It'll be a shock for him."

This was going to be hard. How do you contact someone who left you 5 years ago, because they didn't love you anymore, you were nothing but human anyway, to tell them that they have a child. I mean do you simply just blurt it out, "we've got a child!" or do you go along the lines of, "when you left me heartbroken and depressed in the woods did you realise I was carrying your child?" Something we thought was impossible due to the fact that he was a vampire.

"You mean he won't like me?" One small tear fell down her rosy red cherub cheek.

I wiped the tear away with a kiss and picked her up. "Now you listen to me Renesmee Carlie Swan. Of course your daddy's going to like you. Everybody likes you. Everybody loves you. You have such charm. It's just going to be a shock for your daddy. That's the only thing," her face lit up, I hugged her tighter as my eyes lowered, "and anyway, it'll be me who he won't like," I added in a murmured voice.

"So I can have a daddy?" she asked a grin spreading across her face from ear to ear.

"Yes. Yes you can have a daddy," I tried to hide the pain in my voice. I could slowly feel my heart rip apart again. I tried to fix it over the past years, but it was impossible. I loved him. Even after what he did, the pain he caused. Nothing in the world would stop me loving him…if only the feeling was mutual…if only he felt the same way I do…if only…if only…if only…

And with that, my already broken heart rips some more into thousands of pieces and I can't pull myself together to stop the tears that are falling rapidly down my face…

The man, well vampire, I love hates me. He told me that he didn't love me. I tried so very hard not to think about that moment in the woods, but sometimes it just crept back. "I don't want you to come!" Every time I remember thoses words, it's like someone stabs me in the chest. Every time the pain becomes harder to hide. Every time I just want to curl into a ball and sob…

However much I needed to be strong for Renesmee, sometimes it would just be too much.

By this moment in time, Renesmee had gone upstairs. I don't know how, but sometimes I think that she knows when to leave, when I'm upset. I try my hardest I really do, but it hurts more and more with every day, every hour, every minute.

I love Edward Cullen. Even though he wanted me to forget him, and he promised me that it would be like he never existed, well sorry, that's not going to happen. When I was with Edward I had the happiest time in my life. He made me feel complete. Like all of my life I was a jigsaw puzzle with that one piece missing, and somehow Edward had the missing piece, then the jigsaw was complete, then I was complete.

For the first time in five years, I've just realised that I've been able to say his name out loud, well, not out loud, out loud in my head. Normally, it was always him.

When Edward promised me it would be like he never existed, he did everything he could to make sure of that. He took the pictures of us. He took my CD with my lullaby on. He took my plane tickets to go see Renee. He took everything that he bought me, or reminded me of him.

However, he couldn't control my mind, my thoughts, my memories…

That's what keeps me going for Renesmee, remembering his beautiful sculpted chest, his endless olden eyes, his messy hair, his crooked smile…

This is my first fanfic, so i apologise.

If you guys review and like it then I'll upload some more chapters, dont worry, i'm not gonna pressure you into reviewing :)

But it would be nice... haha.

I shall upload, i think, 2 more chapters to see if you guys can get into the story or not.

I'm a little embarrassed and nervous..

Hope you like?

Samm x)