Disclaimer: Don't own it but how I wish I can own Blaise Zabini.
A/N: I wrote this fic this morning while I was listening to 'My All' by Mariah Carey and somehow I started typing this in the notepad section. At first, I wanted to write something that would go well with the lyric but as we all know, these stories write on their own, not caring that we (the authors) have other plans thus resulting in changing of the plot. I think I've listened to the song for about 30 times today just for that feeling of not able to be with the one we love anymore and they were moments of writing that I felt tears prickling my eyes( I'm an emotional person actually). But when I neared the supposed ending of this story, something went wrong, and the song stopped. So, the ending which I intended to write down is totally different from what is here. Oh yeah, the italics represents her memory.
It was too late. He's gone now. Actually gone in a never going to come and taunt you again way. Not in a going to see you in three months time way. Her heart tightened as she stood in front of the casket, her eyes burning with unshed tears as she looked down at him. She felt the pain in her spread at the peaceful look on his face, just the way she had seen him sleeping that night. The night the world she had known for so long had turned upside down.
She had entered the room with a tired step, eager to get to her bed but had stopped at the sight of the sleeping figure on the couch. She noticed the way his face seemed so different from the image she had printed in her mind, of an unsatisfied wizard who's at odds with the whole world. It was probably her nature that made her covered him with a blanket and she had stayed there that night, looking at him.
She had the yearning to touch his cheek and she did that. When his eyes had opened slowly, looking up at her, she felt the heat running to her cheeks but she still ran her fingers in his hair. Before he could say a word of disgust at her touch, she had bend down and covered his lips with hers. She broke away with a flustered look on her face and had leaped to her feet. Her bedroom was her sanctuary from his words but her escape was stilled by the hand around her wrist. Her eyes were wide when he had pulled her back to him, his lips on hers.
She turned at the cry beside her, the reality of her world vividly coming back to her. Another girl was crying, the tears falling into the silk handkerchief in her hands. Her shoulders were shaking as she reached out a pale hand to his cold face, her fingertips tracing his lips, his eyes, his nose and everything. She heard the words of love escaped from the girl's mouth and saw the ring on her finger.
The announcement had came during the small feast they had on the day they came back after the Christmas holidays. She knew it was coming, he had told her that he was already committed to the girl who was sitting beside him at that moment. She had looked so happy with his arms around her as the school congratulated the happy couple, future husband and wife. But, compared to the beaming girl beside him, she was at the farthest table, looking down at her plate as she blinked the tears away, taking deep breaths as a means to calm oneself down. She had shook her head and blamed the stress of exams when her friends had looked at her with concern.
Against her logic, she had looked up to look at him and saw that his eyes were on her. They were concerned when she had shut her eyes, not wanting to look at him anymore. She could feel the ugly sad feeling in her growing bigger and had jumped up and fled the Great Hall, the tears silently falling as she walked the deserted corridors. She had wrapped her arms around herself to prevent the chill of the air in the tower.
He knew she was there, his steps coming up the stairs as she looked at the stars with such sadness. She wanted to push him away when he had wrapped his arms around her but instead, she had turned around and pressed her face against her chest, the tears falling more furiously. She heard his words. How he was sorry. How he wished that things could be different. She knew he was telling the truth as she raised her head to received his lips on hers. She had believed him as she felt the comfort and safety his arms offered. He didn't hear the words she had murmured against his lips.
The girl was still crying beside her, the tears falling onto his face which she wiped away with her fingers. She knew what she's going through. How it feels to lose somebody. She slipped her hand into the girl's and squeezed it. A pair of dark violet eyes looked up at her with astonishment but all she offered was a small sad smile to the grieving fiancé'. The latter looked at her before smiling a smile identical to hers.
"I'll miss him too. He was a great friend although it took me six years before noticing that,"
She lied through her teeth but now was not the time to reveal the true nature of her relationship with him. The smile on her face was enough to make the guilt seemed bearable.
The moon looked beautiful that night as he laid her gently on his bed, the sheets greeting her with silky smoothness. Her skin had burned when his lips had touched them. His eyes looked deep into hers as he touched her in a way that nearly made her mad with the pleasure. He brushed his lips softly against hers before bringing both of them to the stars. She had laid sated in his arms as she listened to his heartbeat, her ear against his chest. She looked up at his face, once again looking at the peaceful expression. She raised a hand to cupped his cheek before leaning closer and whispered softly against his lips, a declaration of her feelings for him.
Now, she's alone, standing in front of the open casket that held his body. The witch that the public had knew as his fiancé' had been carried away by a comforting friend. She traced his features just the way she did every night as they lay in bed together, their arms tangled. She cupped his cheek before brushing away the strand from his forehead, knowing that he won't teased her again but how obsessed she was with his face. She would never again hear his laughter in her ear as he held her close. No longer feel the smile on his face whenever he buried his face in the crook of her neck. No longer hear the words that he had told her in the tight embraced they shared before he had went off to aid the boy-who-lived in his battle against the man who had ruined their lives.
The sky was red, symbolizing the bloodshed that had happened that day. She had been trusted to guard the younger students in one of the hidden dungeons that lay in the depths. Her hold on her wand tightened when she heard the footsteps coming from the darkened hallway but her heart leaped when she saw it was him. She ran into his open arms, loving the familiar feel they gave her. She traced the gash on his cheek and softly kissed the bruise on his temple. His eyes were dark as he held her tightly, his voice hoarse as he whispered into her ear the words she had been dreaming of for so long.
Her eyes was wide when his lips crashed onto hers, kissing her with such intense need, his hands tracing the contours of her body as if he's trying to put them into memory. She breathed in his scent as she laid her head against his chest, remembering it as him. His eyes held unshed tears and strong emotions as he cupped her face and kissed her gently this time, repeating the words over and over as she tasted the tears on her tongue. He left her that day. She had walked out of the doors into the ground when she heard the victory they had obtained. Then, she saw him, his limp figure laying on the ground, his eyes slightly wide but blank. The look weren't in his eyes anymore.
She had crumbled to the ground, not wanting to step closer to the corpse of the man she had loved. The tears escaped as she held the ring that he had slipped onto her finger just few hours before. His promise of the two them of them being together after the war ends had echoed in her ears when the boy-who-lived had put his arms around her. He was gone. No longer with her. The words of comfort her best friend offered weren't enough. He thought she was grieving the death of their fallen friends. She was slowly dying inside at the death of her love.
"You love him,"
The hero of the war was standing behind her, his green eyes looking at her with sad understanding when she slowly nodded before turning to the casket once again.
"He's gone. Let him go, Hermione,"
She whirled to her best friend and slapped him on his cheek. Hard. The tears finally shed as she trembled with her strong emotions. Sorrow and rage. She shattered into pieces in front of him, not feeling the arms around her as he embraced her. All she could feel was the taste of her love on her. All she could hear was his last words to her. All she could see was him. The peaceful look as he sleeps. The smile he gave her when she woke up in his arms every morning. The deep love in his eyes when he had embraced her farewell.
She didn't attend the actual funeral where the remaining students of the school had gathered in front of the lake, paying their final respects to their Head Boy before he was buried.
She entered the common room they had once shared. It was the first time she had actually been there ever since the war ended three days ago. Her reason of avoiding the place was the pain she would feel at the memories the two of them had shared there. Her prediction was true.
She could see him lying on the couch in her mind's eye when she passed it. She remembered how he once had stood at the top of the staircase with only a towel around his waist earlier that year, when they were merely co-Heads. He was seething at her for a reason she can't and don't even bothered to remember. She could envisioned him leaning against the pink door that led to her room, waiting for her to talk to him again after they had their first fight. Her resolution of ignoring him had crumbled into crumbs when he had handed her a single stalk of pink carnation with his crooked smile in place.
Tears were shed when the Head Boy's well known fiancé' had rose from her seat to take her place at the podium, her voice shook slightly as she talked about the wizard who was supposed to be her other half, the wizard who had died protecting the world they knew, the wizard who had turned his back against the beliefs his family held.
No tears escaped from her eyes when she entered the empty room were once his. The bed was unmade from the last time it had been occupied. Images of the two of them underneath the sheets flashed in front of her eyes. Tangled limbs, sweaty skin, swollen lips. Him possessively pulling her into his arms as they slept, of her running her fingers in his hair as they lay together and talked of their plans for the future.
The boy-who-lived looked around him as the other students whispered behind their hands when the Head Girl who was supposed to give a speech of the friend that she had obtained and lost the same year didn't walked to the podium. Speculations rose as heads swiveled towards the empty seat.
"Where is she?"
The deep blue eyes of the late Head Boy's best friend locked with his green eyes at the query. One look into the dark depths, he knew that the dark wizard beside him knew of the true nature of the relationship between the Heads.
She picked up a discarded robe on the floor, remembering that it was the same robe he had wore that night, the last night they had shared together. She hugged the piece of clothing tightly against her body as she slid underneath the sheets that were immersed with the smell of him. She closed her eyes to stop the burning of her eyes. She wanted to see him in the darkness behind her eyelids. She wanted to hear his voice again.
The two dark haired wizards ran up the steps that led into the Great Hall, their blood pumped furiously as unwanted thoughts drifted into their minds.
She heard him calling out her name.
For the umpteenth time, they cursed the number of steps that had to take to reach their destination. He sends up a prayer to whoever was listening that his only remaining best friend wouldn't do anything foolish as the Slytherin beside asked for the gods in Mount. Olympus that he had read about in his childhood that the Head Girl won't follow the steps of the journey that his own best friend had made.
She could smell him, as if he was there beside her in the bed.
"Is the Head Girl in there?"
The portrait of the little girl with golden red ringlets nodded, her hazel eyes wide as she looked at the saviour of the wizarding world, his green eyes large and full of fear behind his round glasses.
"Can you let us in?"
"And you are..."
"Blaise Zabini. We need to get in before Hermione do anything stupid!"
She could feel his touch, his fingertips on her skin as he caressed her.
They tore into the living room and dashed up the stairs, heading for the pink door, calling out her name.
Her hand searched for her wand inside the pocket of her robes and her fingers curled around the wood. She opened her eyes and looked around her and saw him standing at the foot of the bed. The tears came to her eyes when he mouthed his love for her and her hand shook as she repeated the form of affection. She raised her hand to her lips and kissed the ring he had given her, their initial engraved onto the smooth surface.
She wasn't there. Both of them turned and headed for the other door, the Slytherin grasping the doorknob and pushed the door opened.
The tip of her wand was at her temple when the door sprung open, letting in two wizards who were looking at her with shock.
"Don't do it Hermione,"
"I love him Harry,"
"Let him go, Hermione. He's gone,"
"I can't Blaise! I can't live without him!
"How do you know? You have to try and be strong,"
"I'm not that strong!"
"You are, Hermione. You had always been strong ever since I knew you,"
As he pleaded his best friend, the Slytherin moved towards the bed, his hand extending to reach her.
"You guys don't understand how I feel!"
"I lost Ron and Ginny, Hermione,"
"You had them for a long time but how about me? I only knew he loved me few hours before he left me! I was already accepting of the fact that Draco Malfoy would never be mine but then he told me he loved me! How could he do that and leave me all alone?!"
Her voice was frighteningly calm even though the hand that held her wand was shaking with her emotions.
"You're not alone Hermione. You got me, Blaise, your parents, our friends. Don't do this to us. You're the only best friend I got left,"
He was closer to her as she talked to the other wizard. But he stopped in his tentative steps when she glared at him.
"Don't do it. Draco wouldn't want you to be like this. He wouldn't want you to be this sad,"
Her resolve to join Draco at the other side weakened as the two wizards pleaded to her. She can't possibly leave her best friend all alone. Her parents would be devastated if their only daughter took her own life away. Everyone that cares about her would be sad at losing her when they thought the wizarding world was safe for once and for all. But, she can't live with the memory of her love for the blond.
"Hermione,"
Her grip tightened on her wand as she made her decision.
There were panic in both Harry's and Blaise's voice as she looked at them, the incantation left her lips.
"Obliviate,"
She tossed her head back and a peal of laughter left her throat. Her brown eyes were shining and her smile was sweet. She raised her hand when she saw the two figures entered the bar.
"Harry! Blaise!"
The ring glittered on her finger. She had been wearing it for the past five years but couldn't remember how in the world did she came to own the beautiful platinum band around her finger. Her smile widened when the two men sat in front of her. Harry looked down at the ring and saw the flower in her other hand.
"You've been to the florist again,"
She shrugged her shoulders, no able to explain the other mystery in her life. Ever since she had woke up from her coma after the war had ended, she had the sudden impulse to buy a single stalk of pink carnation whenever she passed a florist. But, like the mysterious ring on her finger that she couldn't bring herself to take off, the obsession with the flower was welcome.
The three of them left the bar and headed for Blaise's house for dinner when she suddenly stopped, feeling a soft touch on her cheek, a whisper in her ear.
"I love you,"
"Hermione?"
She shook her head and followed the two wizards who had been by her side when she had regained consciousness after a month in a coma, due to the spell she had been hit with.
Before Apparating, she turned around and whispered into the empty space, unsure to whom she was whispering to but deep inside, she knew it was the right thing to do.
"I love you too,"
Another mystery of her life.
A/N: Well? Please be kind and review. And if you're in an oddly nice mood at the moment, please read my other one shots. Or even my long fic. Then review. Thanx!!