She was all he ever thought about. Her honey blonde hair and bright green eyes haunted his every memory. It had been 8 months since he last saw her and he would sell his soul just to see her face in front of his. He could remember every inch of her, like she was still lying on his chest, tracing the outline of each tattoo that marked his flesh with her gentle finger tips.

He hated himself every second of every day for the way things ended, for the way he pushed her to their breaking point. He knew the moment the words slipped off his lips that it meant the end of "them." He never imagined he would be able to hurt her, She meant everything to him. She was all he had aside from his SAMCRO brothers. But, a lot of shit had gone down that night and he had been searching for a fight, someone to take his anger and sadness out on. Unfortunately, she happened to be the closest person and received the brunt of his fury. She was the only one he could share his deepest secrets and craziest dreams with and in one split second he had single handedly shattered her heart into a million pieces.

"Juicy, we gotta go lad, the Irish are waiting." Chibs called out down the long hallways lined with desolate dorm rooms. The Scotsman's voice rattled him from his thoughts. He grabbed his cut as he slid of the bed and headed out the door, but not before taking one last glance at the picture of her on his desk. The one remembrance of her he would never put away.

Addalyn started off on her journey home in the California night air after a long night of teaching dance. She was finally doing what she loved and made her dream of owning a dance studio a reality. She had also gotten lucky in the fact that the building she was leasing was only a few blocks from her house and she could walk to and from work every day.

She had fallen in love with Charming the moment they had motored into town. It was a quiet little town, far enough from the big city but close enough if she wanted to venture there. It was much like the town she grew up in before she moved to New York City for college and met him.

Addalyn was all smiles. She couldn't wait for him to come home. It had only been a couple of months, but she was in love. His goofy sense of humor and that gigantic smile that made her face light up just looking at it. He was kind, caring and protective. Every time he walked into the door of her apartment her heart skipped a beat.

He came rushing in the door and she smiled as she made her way to the door from her warm spot on the couch. Her smile immediately drained though when she noticed the look of distress and slight fear on his face.

"Babe, what's wrong?" she moved to him slowly, afraid that he was hurt or angry.

"I have to get out of here." His eyes darted at her and then to the door of her bedroom. He broke out in a light jog to the room, grabbed his bag and started throwing his things into it.

"Babe!" she tried desperately to get his attention. He was scaring her and she couldn't comprehend what was happening.

"Babe, what's going on? Are you ok? Why are you packing? Where are you going?" The questions just poured out of her mouth one after the other.

He was still frantically tossing things around the room. Everything he had kept at her place was being shoved into the tiny duffle bag.

She reached across him and grabbed his hands, briefly stopping his frantic actions. He stopped and looked up at her for the first time since he was burst through the door.

"I have to get out of the City. Come with me." Her jaw hung ajar at his words. He was leaving and was asking her to come. "I can't tell you why right now, but if you come with me I promise I will tell you everything. I don't know where I'm going, but I have to get far away from here."

She just stared at him. The man she was in love with was leaving and she had to choose, pursuit her dreams of dance and finish college or leave with him, the man she wasn't sure she could live without.

"Addie, I have to go like now. I love you and I want you to come with me, but I can't ask you to give up everything you have here for me." He hadn't told her he loved her yet, those words weren't exchanged although both had felt that way for a little while.

It was like those words made it all clear to her, the decision she had to make. "Don't leave without me. Let me pack a few things, I'm coming with you."

Their journey brought them all the way here and along the way she had found out everything he had been involved in back inNew York. She never once regretted her decision, even now while walking home alone.

She wasn't used to walking home alone in the dark, even after 8 months of doing it night after night. He used to be right there waiting for her with an extra helmet and if he had club business he ALWAYS made sure a prospect was there to take his place.

Those days, the days of being madly in love and anxiously waiting the next time they would see each other or hold each other, were in the past. She walked away from him and everything they had together that night. He wasn't the man she had fallen in love with, it was almost as if he was a stranger.

The eerie silence of the night still got to her. She didn't like it, it left her to her thoughts and those were dangerous. They always brought her back to him. His dark brown eyes, always freshly shaved Mohawk and face, strong, toned arms and caramel skin. Those strong arms wrapped around her, always touching her any chance he got. She hated that even after all this time, even after the pain he caused, she still missed him more than she would ever admit to anyone, including herself.

She was there during his prospect days, all the hours and days they were apart because being apart of that club meant everything to him. She celebrated with him when he was patched in. The 1000 watt smile that no one could wipe off his face that day, even if they tried, still flashed through her mind. The small crow with JCO that marked her lower left hip permanently was a daily reminder of how much of herself was still invested in that man. But, it didn't matter anymore. She was trying to move on with her life without him.

The roar of motorcycles in the distance brought her back to reality. She entered her house, their house, alone for what felt like the millionth night in a row. They had settled in this smaller house together, but after their fight he never came back. One night when she came home from work his stuff was gone. It was now her home, no longer one she shared with anyone. She threw her bag down and let out an audible sigh. Regardless of the hurt, she still missed everything about him.