== Be terrified Karkat.
You tried to be quiet with all of your heart but Gamzee, sober or not knew you all too well. You hid in a ball underneath a table somewhere. You didn't know where and you didn't care enough to move and find out. Your uneven breathing was quiet but your possibly ex-moirail had you figured out. You heard heavy footsteps and something dragging across the floor in the next room over. He's calling your name and some other cute nicknames that he had for you. He's going to find you some way or another.
The sick bastard saved you for last on purpose. Why didn't he just kill you first? But you know all too well that would have been letting you off easy. You deserve it. You deserve it all because you were the one to fail at moirailship. You FAILED MISERABLY. Your own fucking moirail wanted to kill you. You deserved to die, not the others. They paid the ultimate fucking price for your pathetic dribbling mistakes. Maybe he'll torture you. Make you pay what you really should be paying instead of simply dying. He might just make you have tea time with Nepeta or make you put a fashion show for Kanaya or even make you feed Equius some milk and dab his face with a towel. Or maybe even better, make you go on a date with Terezi. Could you even be more pathetic?
His footsteps got louder as he got closer and soon enough you see his feet. "COME ON THE MOTHERFUCK OUT. it's all up and safe out here now karkles. I PROMISE I DON'T MOTHERFUCKING BITE. honk. HONK. come on karbro come out for your moirail. I'LL PLAY MOTHERFUCKING NICE. i just wanna cuddle with my palebro now. YOU CAN'T DENY A MOTHERFUCKER HIS OWN FUCKING PALEBROTHER CAN YOU? i'll be gentle. I MOTHERFUCKING PROMISE. and can I tell you a secret? I CAN MOTHERFUCKING HEAR YOU BREATHE SO DON'T EVEN MOTHERFUCKING PRETEND THAT YOUR NOT EVEN MOTHERFUCKING THERE. because we all know you're here."
He's just a few feet away now. You can't deal with this torture. You know all he wants to do to you is tear out your throat and paint his miracles with your blood. Hell, maybe he'll even write a book with your blood as ink, even write up a subjuggulator bible as a message from the Dark Carnival and the Mirthful Messiahs themselves.
He lifts the painted clubs he was dragging on the ground and hits the table with it making a huge dent into the cold metal. He falls to his knees and puts his head on the dent on the table, letting his club clatter to the ground and roll away. In the dim light you see that he's crying. Indigo tears mixing with indigo blood. His lips were stained slightly orange. Maybe he kissed Tavros, you knew he had a crush on him but the poor clown was rejected. Maybe it was his way of being with him in his own twisted way.
You're surprised he doesn't see you in front of him. He can't hear your breathing because now he's crying so loud. All you want to do is pap him till he calms down and clean his wounds and cuddle with him till he feels better. But you can't. You can't try to redeem yourself as a moirail, what's done is done. He collapses to the floor cracking the tip of his left horn in the process. You just lay there as more blood pools around his head.
He slowly opens his eyes and sees you staring at him and he immediately collects himself and adopts a face of pure and gruesome rage as if he's had this face forever. As if it were permanently etched into his skin like the three long oozing scratches along his face. He lunges forward and grabs your shirt and pulls you out from underneath the table and stands you up. And just as you were about to beg for mercy he pushes you onto the table and lets the momentum take your head to the wall. He grabs your shirt again and his eyes soften and he cocks his head to the side. He lets go with one hand and he cups your face and you flinch expecting pain. "shoosh brother, i got you." and you open your mouth to say something but he yanks your shirt forward and pulls you into a kiss, you try to talk and struggle but he was still kissing you forcibly licking each of your teeth as you tasted his mouth, his blood, his tears, your blood, and the blood of a few others including Tavros' and Terezi's. You give up trying to struggle and move your lips against his. The kiss might have even been enjoyable if it had been under other circumstances. And as you started to kiss back he ended it as fast as it came and pushed you away to the wall yet again.
He stepped back and left you bloody and agape. He saw your sickles stuck in the walls that you threw earlier in desperation as he killed Kanaya and he slowly pried them out of the wall. You take his distraction as a chance to run away but you don't go far as Gamzee, having pried a sickle from the wall catches you from a behind in a fierce headlock yet cradling your head gently. He whispered a mixture of pale, red, and black words licking the top of your ear leaving your mind in a mess just like his was. You almost forget your sickle in his hand until he holds it in front of your face. You begin to struggle again in his arms but your strength is no match for his, he only grips you tighter.
He drags the sickle into your face three agonizing times to match his own wounds. Whispering kind words into your ear completely contradicting the complete and pure pain that's running across your face. You expect that the torture begins then, but it doesn't. He lets you go and walks away without so much as a backwards glance. The torture would be much worse than physical. You hate yourself more than ever. This was deliberate; he knew that it would scar your face and forever serve as a reminder of your past.
You don't care about the colored mess around you. You just sit down and cradle your knees staring at his old horn pile. You hate yourself for letting this happen, for being a terrible leader, for being Karkat fucking Vantas, the mutant blood. You masochistic piece of shit, you could kill yourself but that would be too easy. You deserve it; you're not even worth the time to even be killed by your best friend.