Jack stood, thighs pressed back against his bed, a serious expression on his face.
"Something on your mind, Jack?" Ianto asked, a scowl colouring his features as he descended the ladder to the hidden bedroom. When he reached the bottom, he leant back against the cool metal of the ladder, crossing his arms.
Jack said nothing. He merely reached into his trouser pocket, pulling out a glinting circle of metal. Suddenly, Ianto was extremely grateful for the biting cold at his back, keeping him grounded in the here-and-now.
"I can't," he choked out, fighting back the memories of his first proper field mission, and with them the urge to run as far and as fast as he could. "The Beacons, I... I just can't."
Jack smiled comfortingly, keeping the handcuffs dangling from one finger on his left hand. His other hand was deep in his other pocket, probably wrapped around the key to open the currently locked cuffs.
"It's alright, Yan. Relax. I wasn't thinking of you," he murmured, his slightly sad smile becoming even more sympathetic. It took a few moments for his words to seep into Ianto's mind, but when it did, his jaw very nearly dropped in surprise.
"Y-You?" he whispered, shock plastered all over his face.
"Full of surprises, aren't I?" Jack replied, his smile just for a moment flashing his usual cocky arrogance. Only a moment, however, before it fell back into the calming expression that was so foreign to his features.
"Look, I know what you're thinking. I'm not doing this for you. Well, I am, but also... It's selfish, but I've always wanted to try it. Being tied up, I mean."
"You mean you haven't done it?"
"No, I, uh... It's complicated. I've been with people I would trust with my life if it was the only one I had, people I would've happily died for even if I wouldn't come back. But, as much as I trusted them, I never quite got to that point. I have this need to be in control of everything in my life, Ianto. Maybe it's because it's the only way to feel like I'm not just some sick, twisted game for the gods, or whatever. Maybe it's just some primal urge I've always had: I don't remember anymore. But, there's a part of me that's always wanted to give up that control to someone, just for a while. To just be completely and utterly free, letting someone else do all the worrying for once. I can't do that in my work: people would get killed. And apart from that, this is all I have." He gestured at the space between them. "And I trust you, Ianto. I'd trust you with my life if I could die. I trust that you'll stop if I tell you to, but you'll also make sure that I'm getting what I've needed all my life and never had. I trust that you can make me relax completely for the first time in centuries.
"And I trust that you won't judge me for wanting this, and that you know I'll listen if you tell me you aren't comfortable with this."
Jack's face was twisted with a mixture of emotions: hope, worry, anxiety, and something unidentifiable that looked very similar to love. If it wasn't just Ianto's wishful thinking. The Welshman returned Jack's old smile, a hint of sadness and a touch of sympathy colouring the expression. His only other reaction was to walk slowly forward, and place both hands over Jack's, which were now clasped together with the handcuffs between them. Ianto leaned forward slightly and pressed a comforting kiss to his partner's lips.
"Thank you, cariad," he whispered, using the Welsh word he'd always hoped to use when referring to the man before him. "My beloved," he added, clarifying the meaning of the endearment. "That you feel that you can trust me this much, even after some of the things I've done... I don't know what to say."
"Maybe, 'I'll tie you up and chain you to the headboard, Jack'?" the Captain replied, his voice at the same whispering level as Ianto's. The hopeful words contained a hint of Jack's usual cheeky tone, but they were mostly just conveying a wish almost as old as Jack himself. Ianto let out a breath in a quiet chuckle.
"I'll tie you up and chain you to the headboard, Jack," he replied, slipping the handcuffs from the immortal man's hands with one hand, lifting the other to stroke his cheek. "And if you want, we can use a safe word. In case you start to feel a little-"
"No. No, I'm not going to 'start to feel a little'. I need this, Ianto, I've needed it for centuries. And I need it to be you, love."
Ianto dropped the handcuffs.
"J-Jack? What did you...?"
Jack smiled that sad smile that seemed so prominent that night. "I called you 'love'. Because that's what you are. 'My love'. As in, 'the real, actual love of my many lives'. Why do you think you're the only one I could ever even tell about this?"
Ianto's mouth opened and closed a couple of times in a perfect impersonation of a goldfish. "I-I..." he stuttered, too shocked to even bend to retrieve the handcuffs.
"Oh, God," Jack breathed, panic spreading across his face. "Oh, God. Oh, God. I'm an idiot. I'm an actual, complete idiot. Of course you don't feel like that, I'm just a replacement for Lisa, oh dear god, I'm a complete moron." He continued ranting, sitting down on the edge of the bed and bending his neck, running hands worriedly through his hair. But something had clicked in Ianto's mind at the mention of his former girlfriend's name. Jack had remembered it. He'd remembered her name, and oh, crap, how long had he been worrying about this? How could he even think-?
"Jack," Ianto murmured, kneeling down in front of the panicking man and resting a hand on each of his knees. "Jack," he repeated when the Captain failed to respond. The immortal glanced up, his hair spiking out at all angles from the anxious motion of his hands through it. Ianto let his muscles pull his mouth into that sad smile one last time before he lunged forward, pressing his lips against Jack's, who sat there, stunned and unresponsive.
"What...?" Jack muttered when Ianto had pulled away. The Welshman reached up and pushed a stray hair from his forehead.
"I feel the same way, you idiot," he whispered, resting his forehead against Jack's. "I was just... Shocked. I never expected you to say that to me. I always thought that I was... I don't know, convenient? But that doesn't matter. You're not a replacement for anyone, cariad. You're the only person I've felt this way for."
"But, Lisa..." Jack protested, still weary of believing what he was hearing, mostly because it was what he wanted to hear, and no-one ever said what Jack wanted to hear.
"It's true I loved her. More than anything, at the time. But, looking back on it now, it's nothing compared to what I feel when I look at you. I see you and I see someone that completes me. Someone that accepts me, faults and all. Someone that will always welcome me back into his bed and his arms, no matter how badly I've screwed up. Because you know I'd do the same for you. Always, Jack. I'll always be there to hold you when you need it."
"I love the thought of that, Ianto, but we both know that's not something you can promise."
"Isn't it?"
Jack was about to ask what his Welshman meant, but before he could his mouth was assaulted by a tongue that danced sinfully across his own, across his teeth, mapping all of his mouth as if it were of the utmost importance.
When they parted for air, all thoughts had left Jack's mind except for one: "This is the man I love, and he's going to do for me what nobody else ever possibly could."
Genuine smiles played across their lips as Ianto retrieved the cuffs and reached into Jack's trouser pocket, feeling about for a moment before he removed his hand, a small glinting key as his prize. He leaned closer to Jack, placing the cuffs and the key beside him on the bed, before switching his focus to the immortal's clothes. Ianto laid his hands on Jack's shoulders, slipping the suspenders down his arms and unintentionally caressing them, sending a shiver through the Captain's body.
They took it slow, swapping their usual frenzied ripping of clothes for a tender undressing that let Jack feel Ianto's body for the last time that night, before he was chained gently to the headboard of the bed. Everything after that was equally tender, not quite restrained, but lacking in their usual frenzy of, well, everything. Ianto spent a lot of time mapping Jack's body with his hands and his mouth, loving his Captain with a gentle touch he'd always wished he could use, but never had the chance or the confidence to.
And Jack just lay there, watching him, not even struggling against his restraints. Oh, he was aching to touch the Welshman, true, but he was perfectly happy to just lie back and let Ianto take control, do everything.
And when they climaxed, they did so together, Ianto inside Jack, calling each other's names.
Afterwards, the Welshman reached up and unchained Jack, placing the handcuffs on the table beside the bed. For the first time in their relationship, or whatever it was they were calling it, Ianto lay back down beside Jack, curling up against the immortal's side as the older man wrapped an arm around him.
"Stay?" Jack murmured, still hazy from the night's activities.
"Just try and kick me out," Ianto replied, grinning into his partner's collarbone. Vibrations ran through his hyper-sensitive body as Jack chuckled, pulling the young man closer to him.
"So what did you mean?" Jack wondered aloud after a few minutes of blissful silence. He felt his partner stiffen beside him, and not in a good way.
"What did I mean, when?" Ianto asked, his voice carefully level.
"I said that it wasn't possible for me to always be with you. And you said 'isn't it'."
Ianto's breath hitched, anxiety clogging his throat. It was now or never. He had to tell Jack, but how could he? How could he tell the only person he'd really loved in his entire life the real truth? What if he couldn't take it? What if-?
Ianto stopped, catching sight of Jack's worried expression. No point in stewing on 'what ifs' now. He had to tell him, even of it meant this would be the last time he'd be allowed in his bed.
"What would you do if it was possible? I was happy when you told me all those things earlier; what would you do if I could hold you to them for the rest of your life?"
"I'd say them more often," Jack replied without pause. Ianto had to admit it gave him a little more confidence to go through with what he was about to reveal.
"Say, did you ever look at the list of the dead at Canary Warf?"
This stumped Jack. What did this have to do with anything?
"No. It was never really all that important. Lots of people died that day: I didn't need to know their names."
"Well, you're looking at number one hundred and fourteen on that list."
Jack stared. Ianto looked away.
"You... What?"
"I can't die, Jack. If I could, well, that's be the most ironic thing in the universe."
"I don't understand. What are you talking about?"
"Skeleton. Robes. Scythe. I'm Death, Jack. I'm Death and I've fallen in love with the only man who can never die."
[ A/N: whoot! My first ever published story!
Yes, this is a one-shot, and yes I'm evil for leaving it there. This is a short version of an idea that would NOT leave my head, until I got it down, so... I'm planning a multi-chaptered story that follows the ideas brought up in this.
In other words, welcome to the Death!Ianto Universe! Whoohoo!
Alright, I'm done.
As this is my first story, any reviews are priceless. I would love to here what you think!
(this is, unfortunately, un-beta'ed: any mistakes are mine and if anyone would like to beta this, shoot me a line!)]