AN: Okay so I just read Twilight and it is amazing!!!!!! Sadly I cannot resist writing parodies soooo…well here's a Twilight parodyish fic. Oneshot I guess
Bella's POV:
I drove quickly into the school parking lot, my car was easily the best there and I couldn't wait to show it off. I had been so excited to come live in Forks because the weather is great and it's so small everyone was sure to notice me.
And then I saw it. It was a Volvo, nothing too fancy, but it was still faster than my car and better looking too.
"How is this possible?" I cried.
So I walked with my natural gracefulness over to the Volvo and smashed then window. A guy started running towards me, well trying to run, but I opened the door and got in. The guy, Edward Cullen, was horrifically ugly and smelled awful. I drove away in his Volvo.
I drove so fast, swerving a lot to avoid the sun that I hate. I loved driving fast almost as much as I loved Forks! But then out of nowhere, Edward came flying up, dressed like Count Dracula himself. He was still really slow and really ugly, horribly tanned.
"I vant to suck your blood!" he shouted. Then he flew through the broken window and bit my neck.
"Stupid shiny Volvo owner!" I screamed as I slammed the brakes.
"Ew, you taste as bad as you smell, Isabella!" Edward said, "Oh well I'll just go to someplace sunny like Hawaii or Florida or something. I hate Forks so much cuz its way too cloudy!"
"Hey!" I called after him as he flew away, "I don't wanna be a vampire! I wanna be a model! Gosh you're all so ugly! Stupid Cullens!"
But it was too late and I began to change into what I am now! No more attention from everybody at school! My life is over!
"Hey Issy!" Tyler said to me one day.
"Yes?" I asked.
"I'm not taking you to prom anymore!" he said.
"WHY?" I was almost crying.
"Because I sparkle Issy and you should have died in that car accident!" Tyler said, rudely.
"Tyler…real men do NOT sparkle!!!!"
Ok that's it. Don't ask.