Options
You are not...you will not be jealous of Netto.
(Although some days you dream of real air and tasting and touching and choices…)
You love your father, of course you do. And you do not question why he made the decision he did, you want to believe you already know the answer. You cannot – will not feel any anger towards him.
(You know there was no other path he could give you but that of the warrior and you want to protect your brother – but sometimes you dream of peace and alternatives.)
Still, better to have the options that you have, rather than death which is no choice at all. Your father did not want you to become this when he held you in his arms and it is petty complaining when you have so much. It will do nothing to ask the universe why you were the one struck down by disease (fate, destiny? Do you believe in such things?) and before you'd even had time to fully experience the world.
(Though perhaps it's better that way, so that memories of your past life don't haunt you at night.)
It's unfair is better left unsaid and buried.
(Later it will claw its way out to haunt you in the form of a red eyed demon who thinks power is choice – perhaps he is right or maybe he is just misguided.)
Rest In Peace are the words of mockery.