Tittle: One Last Time.
Fandom: D. Gray-man.
Characters: Alma Karma, Kanda Yuu, Allen Walker.
Summary: It pained Alma to see that look in Yuu's eyes, because he's dying while Yuu is alive, because he saw the same look in those silver eyes of Yuu's friend.
I don't know why I wrote this, I think I just like to make myself sad (?).
Alma wasn't a fool. He was very far from that.
He knew in the moment he felt the dark matter cross his very veins the Earl wasn't going to leave him alive after he finished his purpose, obviously he didn't say which it was. But it was a good chance to end up everything, to put a stop to both Yuu's and his suffering and finally be in peace. It was a good time to ends this.
The problem was, of course, The Earl and his secret schemings.
He foolishly believed Yuu will be as alone as ever and no one will ever want to get closer to him, he knew even the reason why Yuu tries to reach him is because he has her soul, they're the second chance those two lovers had, not Kanda and Alma's chance. That was the very thing it was eating Alma inside: His feelings and Kanda's weren't purely theirs. Nothing was from them, not their innocence, their lives or their deaths. They were an excuse, a mere joke for the Order to have more people to throw at their cause.
So he wanted to end everything but he didn't count with The Earl on his side.
And, of course, that boy on Kanda's side.
The white haired guy was actually defending him and reasoning with Kanda, as futile as it seems, and he couldn't help but to see himself in that guy, reaching Kanda with all his might. And suddenly it hits him.
That boy was there next to Kanda because of Kanda.
A pang of jealousy bloomed on Alma's heart, not because the boy cared about Kanda but because he got to care for Kanda just for him, he wasn't tied by a fucked up experiment who ruled his feelings and thoughts. There wasn't another life, shadowing his path and his very being.
He also wanted someone near him just because of him.
No.
He wanted Kanda near him just because of him, for Alma and not some faceless woman.
So the dark matter enhanced his rage, his overwhelming sadness. His desire to end everything erased all kind of reason inside him: Kanda needs to die. He needs to get free, both from this world and from Alma.
He also attacked the boy with all his might while said boy also tried to reason with him, "What a selfless boy" Alma thought while the whitehaired exorcist flies across the room thanks to one of Kanda's tecniques "He doesn't even want to hurt Kanda or me".
The boy stands and receives blow after blow from him and Kanda's, the fatigue obvious in his face and body. His tail tries to suffocate him, he blasts everything at sight, his hands try to rip him apart, he just wants to steal that caring from his face!
So the fight Alma has against Kanda suddenly stops and turns on Allen. He believes Kanda will help his colleague. How wrong he was he thinks while he sees Yuu enraged, maniac. Barking mad.
He never saw Kanda like this. So unhinged. His steps falter and that weak voice of reason tries to hit some sense in him.
He doesn't have time enough for it. There's a lethal aura surrounding Kanda and it also goes to Allen. Alma stops. There's a blade reaching the pale exorcist and Alma can't help but to see it tearing that body apart.
That body—
Wasn't pale anymore.
There Alma stopped on his tracks. There was something inside that exorcist it makes him obey, a voice inside his head that calls for command, it calls absolute obedience. The dark matter inside him hummed contently at the sight of that not pale skin…
He's a Noah. His inner thought replies, he's a Noah.
A Noah who wants to protect everyone.
A Noah who received a blow from Kanda, Mugen's tip appearing at the back of said whitehaired exorcist.
Does that makes any sense at all?
The akuma inside him rushed him to hit Kanda, subconsciously trying to protect the master inside the fallen exorcist and then it happen: a surge of power so big and overwhelming that he flies while he listens the horrible voice of The Earl:
"THANK YOU, KANDA YUU. THE 14th COULDN'T HAVE A MORE FITTING WELCOME CALL"
Alma suddenly realizes why he was here. His Akuma side relish in the wake of his master but that human side (that exorcist side, long slept human side) shrieks in terror.
Th—-
The fourteenth?
The fourteenth?!
He looks at Kanda, shocked as him -and terrified, so, so terrified - and he goes and helps Alma to stand while they behold the transformation from that sweet and kind child into the last Noah and everything fits in Alma's mind: They were the tools to woke the final Noah.
What a pair of fools Kanda and him were after all.
The next thing is blur in Alma's mind but somehow that boy manages to seal again that Noah and keeps reasoning with Kanda with that fucking bleeding wound on his chest. That kid is dead on his feet and he's still trying to save Kanda. No.
Kanda and him.
Then the boy's eye pops out a machine and Allen discovers his terrible truth.
No, no, no, no, no, NO!
Kanda can't know the truth, he can't know he's the woman he's being searching, he can't because Alma is selfish and he wants Kanda to search him just for him not for her, just like Allen (as the Earl called the white haired exorcist) searched for Kanda.
"DON'T FUCKING TELL HIM!" He screams at Allen and he understands. Those silver eyes -marred by some gold traces - are full of love, regret, sadness and… oh god.
Jealousy.
Allen cares for Kanda. Maybe he cares more than he let it show, so he decides to selfdestruct before those silver eyes take Kanda away from him.
The world turns black.
But not for long. He's dying, he knows it.
He tries to be next to Kanda, that was his only reason to live, the only reason to exist and the white haired boy lifts him and puts him next to Kanda, crying.
Allen doesn't care for Kanda as a friend, Alma realizes; he loves him and he's able to see him with someone else besides him if that makes Kanda happy.
Kanda wakes and Allen gives Alma to Kanda, while Alma has his eyes fixed on Allen and he sees it.
Alma feels his heart break at that sight: those silver eyes telling him "protect him, no matter what. Make him happy". The love is obvious in Allen's eyes, painfully obvious and Kanda doesn't realize this. He just thanks Allen for Alma and goes into the door the whitehaired made for them.
The last thing he sees before he loses the sight of Allen is those silver pools, painfully in love.
"That child is a Noah, Kanda" he says after a while, still in Kanda's arms "That poor child".
Kanda looks at him confused and Alma replies sadly "That child is going to lose himself, the Noah inside of him will eat him whole, Yuu", Kanda's eyes widen because it seems he didn't even consider what were the consecuences of waking up the fourteenth "That boy is going to suffer worse than all of us. That boy was trying to save an exorcist and an Ak—kuma".
His voice starts to waver. Fuck, his time is almost over.
Kanda notices this and those cobalt eyes show the same semblance as those silver eyes. It pained alma to see that look in Yuu's eyes, because he's dying while Yuu is alive. Because he saw the same look in those silver eyes of Yuu's friend. Because his selfishness is going to make the suffering of that boy worse.
Because that boy loves Kanda for what he is and not what he was.
The last thing he hears himself saying is: I love you, Yuu.
The last thing he thinks however is: I'm sorry, Yuu.
The last thing he hopes is Kanda finding his happiness next to that white haired boy who loves him more than anything.