Scrape Away

by Go-Go Spiders

Rating: PG

Pairings: Missing Link/Katie and Dr. C/Susan (If you don't remember: Katie and Cuthbert were the teenagers in the car when the clone robot probe thingie lands on Earth.)

PART ONE : Music For The Last Couple

***

Doctor Cockroach had never been so bored in his entire life.

True, he should have been honored. It wasn't every day the President of the United States invited you to a gala dinner at Consitution Gardens in Washington, D.C. held in your honor for saving the world. And he did feel honored. The outpouring of support and immense gratitude from everyone who'd spoken to him and the other monsters tonight could be overwhelming at times. It was a nice feeling, to actually be seen as useful to society instead of freaks that had to be locked away.

Which is exactly what made all these speeches so incredibly redundant and dull. It did amaze him how the politicians in nearly-identical suits giving nearly-identical speeches could talk for so long and say so little during that time.

"And I'm sure I speak for everyone in the whole world when I say that it's a good thing the entire human race wasn't enslaved, huh? Huh?" The Attorney General of Washington, D.C. crowed into the microphone on a small podium. The crowd was utterly silent.

It also amazed him whenever they tried to use humor to liven up their speeches. It never worked, not once.

Seated next to him, B.O.B was fast asleep. On his other side, the Missing Link rolled his eyes and sighed, his patience wearing thin. Susan and Insectosaurus, the reason the dinner was being held outside in Constitution Gardens instead of the White House, sat behind the smaller monsters. Each of the monsters, with the exception of Insecto, were dressed in varying degrees of formalwear. B.O.B and Link could get away with wearing just black bow ties. Dr. Cockroach was dressed in an old suit of his that he'd dug out of a government warehouse only hours ago– a slate grey tweed jacket, black pants, white dress shirt and tie. Susan had somehow found a team of seamstresses willing to create a gown for this event that would fit her enormous frame. He had to admit, they'd done an excellent job. Made out of three-hundred-and-fifty-yards of black satin, the gown clung tightly to her body until it reached mid-thigh, where it flared out into a small train. The plunging neckline of the bodice was held up by two jeweled shoulder straps, one of which Susan was fingering out of boredom. Insectosauros was quiet, its eyes staring at the lights set up around the park.

Link caught Dr. Cockroach's eye and made a motion with his hand imitating the latest politician's mouth yapping away. A quiet titter ran through the rest of the crowd.

Dr. Cockroach smiled, looking down at his empty plate in an attempt to hide it. He certainly shared Link's sentiment. It might've been more bearable if the waitstaff had left the garbage he hadn't eaten on his plate, then he might've been able to concoct something interesting from it, the advantages of being able to play with your food. Silverware, a glass of red wine, a napkin and an empty china plate did not exactly lend themselves to mad science.

'...Actually, the wine might.'

***

By the end of the Attorney General's speech Dr. Cocvkroach had assembled a miniature ferris wheel from his table setting. It was not very mad-science-y but it was the most he could do with what he had on hand. For lack of anything more interesting, Link had watched Dr. Cockroach assemble the contraption in his lap, hidden from the view of other attendees by the tablecloth. Susan was watching behind him as well, slightly too far away to make out what he was doing.

"That's real cute, Doc," said Link as Dr. Cockroach set the ferris wheel on the table.

"I wish I had some teacups handy to make those little gondolas that people sit in," Dr. Cockroach said as he began absentmindedly spinning the ferris wheel. A happy high pitched tune began to play quietly from the base as the wheel rotated.

Curious, Susan bent over slightly and stared down at the miniature with a small smile. "Did you make a music box out of a fork?"

Dr. Cockroach smiled. "I had nothing better to do. "

At the podium, the Attorney General stepped down to polite applause. An almost inaudible sigh ran through the other tables when nobody came up to replace him. The dinner crowd began to dissipate almost instantly after that, in spite of the dessert carts being rolled over the manicured lawn of the National Mall.

Link smiled slyly at the young waitress that placed a plate of fish dumplings in front of him. Before she could move her hand, he placing one scaled hand over hers. "Hey Gorgeous. Doing anything afterwards?"

The waitress smiled thinly. "I'm sorry, you're not my type. Or my species."

"C'mon, I'm pretty close. Spitting distance of the ape family, at least." He waggled his eyebrows at her.

"I'm sorry, sir," the waitress repeated coldly, pulling her hand free. She quickly set the other desserts for the monsters and then disappeared. Link watched her leave with a mixture of frustration and slight disappointment on his face before turning his attention to his fish dumplings.

"Link, I say this as both a man of science and your friend: when you have to pull out taxonomic rank to convince a girl to give you a chance, it's most likely a lost cause." Dr. Cockroach chuckled.

Link shot him a nasty look before crossing his arms sullenly. "It was as a lot easier when I could just, y'know, carry the pretty girls in skimpy bikinis off the beach."

"Yes, and that's why you went to prison."

"Hey, my way got results!" Link shot back. "I don't exactly see girls hanging off of you and your test tubes, Doc."

"True, the cockroach head tends to put them off. What women in general think of me doesn't bother me anymore, however. There's just one woman's opinion that matters to me." Smiling slightly, he looked up at the large table Susan was seated at, and then cupped his hands near his mouth. "Susan! Would you care to take a walk down to the Reflecting Pool?"

Susan grinned, a light blush spreading across her face. She stood, carefully pushing her chair back. "I'd love to."

Looking at the Doctor, Link raised one eyebrow.

Not meeting the fish-ape's eyes, Dr. Cockroach's smile broadened as Susan knelt down, laying her hand on the grass. He quickly skittered up her bare arm, perching on her shoulder.

"Do you wanna come too, Link? The Reflecting Pool's supposed to be over two-thousand feet long, and absolutely gorgeous at night!" said Susan.

"But it's not very deep though." Link waved his hand listlessly. "Go ahead. I'll stay here and keep an eye on B.O.B. Make sure no one tries to throw out his, uh, 'girlfriend'."

"You sure?" asked Susan. She looked around. Apart from the caterers cleaning up and a few stragglers, the monsters were the only ones standing in the clearing.

"Yeah, positive." Link hopped up onto the table. "'sides, Insecto'll keep me company, won't you, boy? Er, girl?" Insectosaurus roared, flapping its wings behind Link. Several of the caterers screamed in fright. "I'll meet up with you two and Monger later."

"Allright. C'mon, Doc," Susan turned towards the reflecting pool, the train of her dress rippling as she walked. As they got further away, he could faintly hear Dr. Cockroach say something to Susan. She replied with a small laugh.

He sighed, and looked down at the grass as B.O.B snored soundly, the platter of lime Jell-O next to him. Behind the table, Insectosaurus laid its head down on the ground and croaked out a small roar.

Link rolled his eyes again, his tail twitching in annoyance. "I am not moping."

Another screech. The caterers seemed to be making a heroic effort in getting out of there as quickly as possible.

"Then you're wrong, all right?" Link snapped irritably. "It is possible for you to be wrong, Insecto! Like how you thought you were a boy for forty years and then -whoops!- turns out you're a girl? That's one's a real whopper, don't ya think?!"

There was a slight pause from Insecto before it responded with a sad, hurt noise that made Link feel like a complete jerk. Before he could apologize, Insecto spread its colorful wings and flew into the night sky.

"Wait, Insecto! I didn't mean...!" Link ran after it a few paces, but stopped. It was too far away to hear him.

Returning to the table, which the caterers had left in their hurry, Link paused in front of the miniature ferris wheel Dr. Cockroach had made during the dinner. He gave it a small spin, and listened to the notes that played in the empty clearing.

Doo doo do dooooo, do-do-do-do do dooooo.

His shoulders slumped forward.

***

Across the country, in a small town just outside San Francisco, a young teenage girl stood by the telephone, her hand on the receiver. She bit her lip, then slowly picked it up and dialed a phone number.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end sounded out-of-breath.

"It's Katie, Cuthbert."

"Katie?" There was a pause. "Oh my God, I was supposed to help you pick out a prom dress this afternoon, wasn't I?"

"Yeah," she said shortly. "You were."

"Oh my God, Katie, I'm so sorry. I'm at the gym right now. I just got caught up with some of the guys after gymnastics practice this afternoon and we just got to talking and it slipped my mind." He gave a light laugh. "You're not too mad, are you?"

Katie took a deep breath and then said quickly, "Look, Cuthbert, I'm sorry but this is not working out at all. I think we should see other people."

Cuthbert instantly broke into tears. "Y-you're ...breaking u-u-up...with...me-e-e?" he cried, his voice now several octaves higher and much more shrill.

The girl closed her eyes. "That's what 'I think we should see other people' usually means, Cuthbert."

"Katie, I'm so so sorry about this afternoon. I promise I can make it up to you!" he sniveled, his nose running. "Please, give me another chance! I can change! I promise I can change!"

"Cuthbert, don't make a scene..."

"Ka...Katie, ple...please. We...we survived an alien invasion together! That has to m...mean something to you!"

Katie let out a long breath. "You don't understand, Cuthbert. It's not just about what happened this afternoon, or the invasion, when we were in your car together and you were a total wuss. You're just...not the right guy for me in every single way I can think of. It's better this way."

Cuthbert didn't reply for several minutes, he just wailed and sniffled on the other end of the phoneline. "Katieeee. Isn't there anything I can do? Katiiieeeeee...."

"I'm sorry, Cuthbert," said Katie quietly. With that, she placed the receiver back down. She quickly bent over to unplug the phone from the phone jack, silencing it mid-ring.

Katie heaved a relieved sigh as she dropped the phone cord to the carpet. "He took that pretty well," she grinned happily, then turned and went upstairs to get started on her homework.

END PART ONE

Notes: This is primarily a set up for the next part, where Link and Katie actually meet. XD There will be more Dr. C/Susan too, but it's not the focal pairing. Don't worry, they'll still be in here too.

The tune that Dr. C's musical ferris wheel plays is 'Laura's Theme' from the movie Doctor Zhivago. It's very pretty.

Special thanks goes to to KooKooXachoo, for giving me the idea of pairing Link up with Katie.

Both the story title and the chapter title are from the Jam's 'Sound Affects' album. It's awesome. Go listen to it.

See you next time!

G-GS