In a new York Minute
Dr Who? Filmed in New York? Oh that's just too good an opportunity to pass up seriously, I just can't! The Dr and associated characters belong to BBC, CSI characters belong to CBS. Nothing belongs to me. Ha. Very AU, bit of a parody. Guest starring Captain Jack from Torchwood :)
** Die hard Doctor fans will get this, it's a bit cheeky but couldn't resist!
"Danville?" Detective Jo Danville answered her cell on the third ring, unusual for someone who can't usually find it.
"It's Flack" came the barked reply "We got a murder, two disappearing OAP's and some weird stuff goin' on"
"Oh I do like the way you wake a gal up Don" she smiled, rubbing her eyes "So romantic"
"Don't tease me Danville" he replied, his bad mood at being dragged out of a warm bed on a cold night dissipating slightly, Jo had the ability to make him laugh.
"Text me the address" she replied.
"On it's way" he replied.
"Black no sugar?" she asked.
"How do you do that?" he laughed "Read my mind?"
"I'm a mom" she shrugged, getting slowly out of bed "Tell me your mother doesn't know what you need before you do?"
"It's a woman thing" he retorted.
"I'll see you soon" she laughed.
"Jo?" he asked before she hung up.
"You want a Danish too?" she said knowingly "You know I'm a CSI and not a food delivery service right?!"
"I'm always hearin' how women can multi task" he told her.
"On my way" she said, rolling her eyes.
…...
"Crushed under a statue?" Jo asked, crouching down to get a better look of the bloodied mess beneath a gruesome concrete figure.
"Told you it was weird" Flack replied "These things are heavy. No way the wind blew it over, or one person pushed it over"
"Car?" Jo ventured, pulling her coat closer around her, the wind whipping from the dock was icy and unwelcome.
"No tyre marks" Flack walked a circuit of the statue "There'd be burned rubber on the asphalt, they'd have to get some revs up"
"You're learning" she grinned at him.
"Twelve years listening to you lot" he said "You pick up a thing or two"
"Who found him?" she asked.
"Guy walking his dog" Flack consulted his notebook "He walked right into it almost, and this is where it really gets strange"
Jo looked at him, hands on hips.
"The guy said the statue jumped on the guy, that a man and a woman were shouting something at him, and one second the statue was there" he pointed to a clean area of concrete, where the statue had stood "And then the lights went out, when they came back on, the statue was on top of the vic"
"Drunk?" Jo asked.
"Don't think so" Flack frowned "Seems terrified, but sober. And that's not all. He put the couple in their eighties, and apparently, they got into a phone box with a guy in a suit, and the phone box, disappeared"
"OK" she rubbed her freezing hands together "Let's get started. Hawkes is on his way, I'll call Danny to arrange some lifting gear and get this guy back to Sid"
"Careful" Flack grinned over his shoulder "I'm leavin' a couple a guys out here, in case the statue makes a break for it"
"Don't you have witnesses to question or suspects to terrify?!" she asked head on one side, a smile on her lips.
"On my way" he pointed to the dark and gloomy building behind him.
…...
"Oh no!" Amy Williams turned around to see the Doctor stabbing the monitor with a finger "No! No! No! Not in there! Why do they always go in!"
"What is it?" she asked.
"Pond" he turned a smile on his face "And Mr Pond, excellent"
"What the hell is going on?" Rory asked, hands on hips.
"Hmmm" The Doctor replied.
"Don't you hmmm me" Amy said, the Scottish lilt gravelly with age, but still as strong as ever.
"I can't call you Pond" The Doctor decided, his face absent "I'll have to call you Williams, you're not Pond"
"I am Pond!" Amy retorted "And I thought you could never come back to New York?!"
"I can't" he said, studying the monitor again "Well obviously I can, but I shouldn't be able to. Silly policeman, why oh why does he need to go in there?!"
"Doctor that's an Angel" Rory said "It's stood there all the time we have been here, never moved, and believe me, I checked. It's never moved"
"And today it did" The Doctor stroked his chin thoughtfully "At the exact time you were there, at the exact time the TARDIS took me there"
"Why?" Amy asked "Why now?"
"Well I don't know do I?" he answered, irritably "If I did, I could go back to Helagon 6 and continue my game of space darts. Instead now, I have to go and get the silly Detective out of the scary building. Oh I don't like scary buildings"
"You don't like scary buildings?!" Rory asked his tone incredulous.
"Who'd like a scary building?!" The Doctor replied with horror "That's just mad!"
…...
"Ah!" The Doctor ran along the hallway "There you are" he beamed at Flack, who regarded him with disdain. And people said he had a bad taste in ties.
"Are you a tenant!?" Flack asked curtly.
"Me? No" The Doctor smiled "Later model.**. Anyway come on, silly Detective, lets get out of this scary building!"
The Doctor grabbed Flack's arm, attempting to pull him along.
"What did you call me?" The Doctor looked up at a pair of angry blue eyes, an apologetic smile on his face.
"Ah" he said "Said that out loud. Hmmm"
"Get off my arm" Flack glared at the offending hand.
"Sorry" The Doctor let go, fishing in his pockets.
"Hey!" Flack drew his gun "Get your hands where I can see them!"
"Oh so trigger happy you New Yorkers!" The Doctor said dismissively "I don't carry a gun, just my ID!"
Flack took the battered leather wallet reading the inscription.
'Doctor Thee. Inspector for suspicious buildings department. New York Assignment Division'
Flack flicked it back, holstering his gun "I've never heard of that department" he said suspiciously.
"Very small" The Doctor beamed "Now, we have to leave"
"I haven't conducted any interviews yet!" Flack protested.
"And you won't find anyone here" The Doctor replied "All gone!"
"Hello Sweetie" both men turned at a soft purring voice coming from the open door Flack had come out of moments earlier.
"Melody Pond" The Doctor said wryly "I might have known!"
"Hang on" Flack said confused "You said your name was River Song" he looked at River, or Melody, or whoever she was.
"River, Pond" she replied, smiling at him serenely "Melody, Song. Don't tell me you don't get the irony Detective Flack?"
"What the hell is going on here?!" Flack demanded, his head turning from River to The Doctor.
"Killer statues and scary buildings" The Doctor replied "Better if you don't know"
…...
"Anything?" Flack asked, gazing at the statue. The damn thing gave him the creeps.
"Nothing" Jo said, removing her gloves "No trace, no prints, Nothing"
"This case just gets stranger" Flack said "It didn't just fall. I can't find anything about it, anywhere. No one can remember when it was erected, no clues as to why it was there and only one tenant in the building, and she's currently on ice at the precinct"
"Let's go see Sid" Jo decided "See what he has on the body"
…...
"Your male vic was in surprisingly good health, considering a statue landed on him" Sid told Jo and Flack as they came into autopsy. Looking over their shoulders he noticed Lindsay, Danny and Hawkes hovering.
"Good health?" Hawkes ventured "Guy was flat as a pancake when I saw him"
"Oh yes" Sid grinned "Definitely crushed to death, but for a man with so many scars, and a blood alcohol level off the charts, his internal structures were relatively undamaged"
"So that's the COD?" Lindsay asked.
"Crushing?" Sid questioned "Yes"
He led the way to the body freezer, sliding open a drawer "As you can see, he's been crushed, but nothing was out of place, his internal organs should have been mush, not to mention his bones" he looked at his audience "Yet there was minimal damage"
"I'll say" Danny said, bug eyed "This some sorta joke?!"
All eyes turned to the drawer. It was empty.
…...
"Oh Dear" The Doctor frowned as the TARDIS door opened, emitting a man in a flurry of snow "They're going to be looking for you Jack"
Captain Jack Harkness scowled at The Doctor "You know how many times I been autopsied?!" he demanded.
"That will be about your 5th by my count" The Doctor replied.
"6th actually" Jack huffed "And it hurts!"
"Oh stop moaning" The Doctor told him "You're dead when they do it"
"You try having your insides rearranged!" Jack told him crossly.
"He will if he doesn't tell me what's going on!" Amy stepped between them, gasping as she saw her reflection "I'm...I'm young!" she said.
"Oh that's just the TARDIS" The Doctor said with a wave of his hand "Old Girl doesn't like you looking different"
"Was it really me?" Jack asked "Did they follow me?"
"It" The Doctor corrected "And no, it was always here, you passed by, it hooked onto your time energy and dragged you here. Wasn't strong enough to get hold of you though, when she pounced, she fell"
"Can someone please tell me what's going on?!" Rory demanded in an angry voice "Because one minute we're watching Lederman, and the next, Jack shows up, and an Angel lands on him and we end up back in the TARDIS, with you, 50 years younger!"
"All in good time Williams" The Doctor beamed "Oh actually, you need to be The Ponds again now, good old TARDIS!"
…...
Mac Taylor slammed his pen down in frustration as the lights went out – again. They had flickered on and off for best part of 15 minutes before they finally went out completely.
Retrieving his flashlight he stalked along the hallway of the lab, seeing dark figures huddling together, confused.
He spotted Danny's feet, illuminated by the light he held, scanning the light around it stopped suddenly on a stone face. One Mac knew well.
He watched as Adam jumped back away from the Weeping Angel, terror on his face, Mac didn't need to hear the next exchange to know what had happened.
"It m-moved!" Adam stuttered.
"It's a statue!" Flack replied "It didn't move!"
Flicking his own flashlight on Flack leapt back, knocking into the rest of the team.
"Ugh!" he yelled as the stone face, with sharp and dangerous looking teeth had loomed in front of him. The statue had moved.
"Keep looking at it" Mac ordered from the door "Back away slowly, but do not take your eyes away from that statue"
"Mac what's going on here!?" Lindsay demanded "Moving statues! Bodies disappearing into thin air!"
"If you trust me" Mac said urgently "Just back away, and keep your eyes on it"
Flashlights started to flicker, and despite the amount of sceptical scientists in the room, the backing away got faster. A lot faster.
"That's good advice!" Came a cheery voice "Keep looking! Lights will be back on soon, have my best man on it!"
"Doctor" Mac said with a smile in his voice "Didn't think you'd be far away!"
"Always ready to lend an old friend a hand!" The Doctor replied "Ah! Here we are, lights!"
He held his arms out to the side as he faced Mac, a huge smile on his face as the lights flicked back on one by one.
"Detective Taylor! Wonderful to see you again!" The Doctor said expansively.
"There we go!" came another voice, the team gasped as one as he addressed The Doctor "Confused it with a patch override, she won't be able to fuse it again"
"That's my DB!" Sid gasped "He's...He's..."
"Alive?!" Mac supplied, shaking Jack's hand warmly "Hello Jack"
"How are ya Mac?!" Jack replied "Must be what? 20 years?!"
"Gulf War" Mac nodded "Still collecting Y incisions?" he laughed.
"Your ME" Jack said in a confiding tone "Was about the gentlest"
"Good to hear" Mac replied "Everyone, this is The Doctor, and Captain Jack Harkness"
"I think I'm gonna throw up" Danny said, sitting on a stool.
"Get the man a bowl" The Doctor said, pushing past them, aiming the sonic screwdriver at the Angel "Hmmm" he muttered.
The team watched with open mouths, stunned.
"Oh we meet again" a voice washed over them, warm and inviting "Detective Flack"
Flack turned, seeing the woman that had been at the building where the Angel had fell.
She stood close to him, smiling. Flack felt uncomfortable, unsteady.
"How did you get out of my precinct?" he asked with as much force as he could muster under her intent gaze.
"I moonlight as a lawyer" The Doctor said, still running the sonic screwdriver over the Angel.
"You have lovely eyes" River purred "But they hold pain, suffering. I can help with that" she smiled.
"I...Um, Oh" Flack stuttered.
"River" The Doctor warned "Leave him alone, he's too normal for you"
River sighed "Forgive my husband" she said "He gets jealous easily"
"I'm not your husband yet" The Doctor replied, jumping onto a workstation and holding the sonic above the statue.
"Spoilers!" she grinned, turning away from Flack to greet Jack "Captain Jack! My dear, too long!"
"It has been River!" he said, hugging her "You are looking amazing as ever"
"Not so bad yourself" she smiled.
"River" The Doctor said "I know you have a thing for tall dark and handsome, but please, concentrate!"
"Don't forget the blue eyes" she teased, glancing at Flack, who shifted uncomfortably "Party pooper"
"We have an Angel to move" The Doctor decided, jumping down "She's dormant now, must have had a last gasp on the time energy the TARDIS produced bringing me here"
"I thought these things were gone?" Mac asked.
"One left" The Doctor said "It would appear that she locked onto Jack's time trail. He passed close to New York and she managed to grab him, pulling him back. She used his energy. The TARDIS then brought me here, following Jack as a fixed point in time and space, and dumped me on the Ponds, or the Williams, and then, well the rest you know. When I get her out of here, everything should go back to normal"
"Williams" Flack muttered "That's the name of the old couple that disappeared into the blue box"
"Ah yes" The Doctor beamed "Don't worry about that, they'll be back home before you have chance to report them missing"
"Come on then" Jack stood behind the Angel "Let's get her away from here"
"Somewhere you can't do any more damage" The Doctor told the Angel.
…...