Constant Craving
Disclaimer:- Don't own them just borrowing!
Episode:- None
Pairing:- Jean/James
Rating:- T
Achieve:- http(:/) . /group/rebeccafrontlewisffarchive/
Summary:- What they had was perfect and he had every intention of making her see, over time, that it was always going to be that way and the issue of fatherhood was irrelevant so long as he had her.
Author's Note:- In answer to the "weird craving" challenge which must include one character having a strange food craving that is NOT because they are pregnant!
"James did you eat the last of the chocolate spread?" Jean asked rooting around in the back of the larder convinced there should have been a new jar there and getting more and more frustrated when she realised there wasn't.
"No on account of the fact I'm not 7 and haven't eaten chocolate spread since I was." James laughed turning away from the cheese and pickle sandwich he was making and staring at her as she growled in frustration. "Actually I didn't even know there was chocolate spread in the house why on earth would anyone eat that stuff?"
"Well right now I really want it with my cheese in my sandwich and I bought a jar yesterday I'm sure I did because I used the last of it the night before."
"I don't remember seeing you with chocolate spread you haven't started secretly eating in the middle of the night have you? You know there's a program about people who do that I heard someone talking about it canteen."
"No I haven't started binge eating you weren't here you were at that open stage live band thing in town. I'm going to have to go out and get some." Jean sighed making to move and grab her handbag to nip to the local shop as he gripped her arm pulling her back and into his arms resting his hand dramatically on her forehead.
"Jean Innocent are you ill? I mean Cheese and chocolate spread what the hell?" He laughed tilting his head in confusion as she sighed crossly.
"You may think it's weird but I happen to like it and I've had such a craving for it the last week or so if I try to have something else I'll not eat it because I'll be focusing on the fact there isn't any chocolate spread. It'll only take me two minutes to nip to the shop."
"Cravings? Seriously?"
"Not cravings a craving singular." Jean replied kissing him gently before pulling away again and grabbing her bag heading for the door as he shook his head in amusement and turned his attention back to his own sandwich.
"Ma'am we think we've got a break but we're going to need a search warrant for…Jesus what is that?" Robbie asked his mission momentarily forgotten as he stared at the lunch box on his boss's desk the chocolate oozing out from between the bread and cheese making his stomach turn a little.
"It's my lunch Inspector some of us try to work and eat more sensibly than whatever comes out of the vending machine downstairs or can be bought from Gregs and eaten on the run." Jean smiled setting the bottle of apple juice on her desk before lifting out the first of her sandwiches.
"Yeah I used my finely honed police training to work out it was lunch it was the contents of the lunch I was asking about is that chocolate and cheese?"
"Yes it is and it's very tasty so keep your comments to yourself I just had a craving for sweet and savoury together and since I don't comment on your food choices don't comment on mine."
"Cravings? Is there something you want to share with us Ma'am?" Robbie smiled winking playfully at her as she rolled her eyes and saw James tense behind him the realisation of what he'd just implied clearly hitting him like a steam train.
"No there isn't Inspector now if you want a warrant I'll need it in writing and within the next half hour because I've a meeting with the chief constable this afternoon and I've no idea how long it'll last so unless you want to have to wait around all day for your warrant I suggest you move quickly."
"I'm telling you James there's something going on there I have two kids remember I recognise the signs." Robbie smiled as they climbed into the car and he tried to remove the specks of chocolate off the corner of the warrant in his hand only making them look worse rather than better.
"The chief super is not pregnant Robbie I mean what age is Chris now? 24/25? No defiantly not."
"She wouldn't be the first woman to start seeing men again after coming out of a messy divorce get caught and end up pregnant even though their other children are grown. Trust me when Val was expecting Lynn she drove me mad the whole time she was pregnant she craved bacon flavour crisps you'd be amazed how many times I had to drive to 24 hour garages or wherever because we'd run out and she couldn't sleep unless she had them." Robbie continued pulling the car out of station car park as he carried on with his "been there done that" speech. "I'm telling you watch this space give it a few weeks and I bet there's a "special" announcement"
Scoffing again and hoping he was sounding more convinced than he felt as he stared out the window letting what had been said sink in. He was still as sure as he could be that Jean wasn't pregnant but what if she was? What if she didn't realise herself yet or what if she did but was frightened to tell him because she was worried he'd not want a baby? What if she was and she didn't want a baby so she wasn't telling him or what if she had convinced herself that because their relationship as still a clandestine one they could never consider having a child?
"Are you going to get out of the car James we're here" Robbie said a few moments later staring at him quizzically snapping him out of his "what if" walk through as he nodded and tried to focus again on the job rather than the growing concern he was feeling.
"Jean where are you?" James called hanging his coat up on the row of hooks beside her front door and gripping the small bag in his hand a little tighter. Since his discussion earlier in the day he'd not been able to get the idea that she might be expecting their baby out of his head and he was determined to show her that if she was he'd be delighted and whatever the problems that might throw up they'd make it work.
"I'm in the kitchen dinner will be ready in five minutes do you want a glass of wine?" Jean replied looking at him suspiciously as he walked into the room scowling at the glass in her own hand before taking it off her and sitting it on the kitchen counter.
"No I don't and you shouldn't be either look I know it's complicated and everything and I know it wasn't what we planned but it'll be ok. I love you."
"I love you too but right now you're confusing me what are you talking about and why shouldn't I have a glass of wine is there somewhere we have to go later that I've forgotten about?"
"Look I know you have probably been worried about telling me or you are still coming to terms with it yourself or whatever but you shouldn't drink and I want to prove to you that I am totally ok with everything." James continued opening the bag and pulling out a small white fluffy bunny rabbit with a multi-coloured polka dot bow around it's next and holding it up. "I didn't know whether to get pink or blue or whatever but white's ok for either right?"
"James what the hell are you talking about?" Jean asked no longer sure if she was confused, worried, amused or a combination of all three as he stared at her in a way that told her she was supposed to know what he was talking about.
"The chocolate and cheese, the craving, it's fine actually it's better than fine it's….."
"Oh my god!" Jean laughed leaning back on the kitchen counter and shaking her head trying not to laugh too much as he stared back at her in surprise. "James I'm not pregnant."
"But Robbie said, the cravings and everything, and….."
"James think about it for a second, you know I'm not pregnant, you know I couldn't be pregnant we had this discussion when we first got together remember?"
"Shit of course we did!" James sighed not quite believing his own stupidity. When they'd first started their relationship she'd told him that when Chris hit his teens and she decided she didn't want to have more kids she'd tried to convince Richard to have a vasectomy and when he flatly refused she'd given in and had a sterilization done instead. He knew that, he knew there was no way she could be pregnant which was why he hadn't immediately thought of it himself yet he'd still managed to let his imagination run away with him and in the space of on afternoon let Robbie convince him that it was a fact.
"It's very sweet that you wanted to reassure me but I promise if it was a possibility and I was I wouldn't keep it from you or play some silly game of guess the crisis." Jean laughed reaching for another glass from the cupboard and pouring him a glass of wine before retrieving her own again. "The bunny is lovely though I think we should keep him anyway. Are you ok? You're not disappointed are you? I was never anything but honest with you about the chances of having children if we stayed together."
"No! No of course I'm not I'm just trying to work out how I managed to let Robbie convince me of something I logically knew couldn't be a fact." James smiled pulling her back into his arms and kissing her gently as he felt the tension now radiating from her. "Jean don't ok, don't start over thinking this again. I love you and I'm happy with you, I'd rather be happy with you and never have children than have ten with someone I didn't love half as much as I do you ok?"
"OK." Jean replied pushing away the little voice in her head telling her that one day this would become an issue and one she could do nothing about. "You ready for dinner?"
"Does it involve chocolate and cheese?" James asked laughing as she rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the stove and he felt like he let out his first deep breath since he'd got into the car with Robbie hours before. Much as he would have been happy and supportive if she had been expecting he couldn't help but be relieved that she wasn't. What they had was perfect and he had every intention of making her see, over time, that it was always going to be that way and the issue of fatherhood was irrelevant so long as he had her.