Hey all! So, my old friend, boredom, has come visiting once again, and this is the result. A younger friend of mine decided we should have a 15 minute writing competition, and then this happened. She wrote Random Excitement, and I wrote Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing on Rainbows. They are both, (obviously) crack fics, so please enjoy all the random insanity that can result from overtiredness and too much sugar!
Random Excitement
Once upon a time, in the kingdom of Salvinoe. There was a princess named Ramdo. She was a dull kind of person. She sat in her room almost all the time, and rarely came out.
She finally decided she would take a stroll through the woods. All of a sudden the bushes started moving, and out popped a young prince from Alteek kingdom named Aldo.
Ramdo didn't know what to think. "Uhhh-ummm, hi." She muttered softly. "How do you do my lady." He announced. "I am prince Aldo." "Ok. If you don't mind me asking, why where you hiding in the bushes?" "i didn't know it was a women. Anyways aren't you going to introduce yourself." "Why yes, my name is princess Ramdo. Now if you must excuse me, I am off to my kingdom, Salvinoe." "But wait, when will i see you again?" "With my luck never." Ramdo replied and ran back to the castle.
Aldo was not to happy he didn't find the women of his dreams. As he was walking back to his kingdom Alteek, he spotted a cottage in the woods. He knocked on the door. "Hello, anyone here?" Aldo shouted. A crackling voice came from the cottage "well, come in my darling." Aldo opened the door. The old women was mixing something in a caldron. "What do you need?" the women asked. "A potion of love." The old women grabbed a vial, dipped it in the caldron, and took it out full. "Take the vial, make the women of your dreams drink it and she will love you forever, and never ever come back." Aldo ran back to the spot where he found Ramdo the first time, and she was there too. "Ramdo! I feel bad for bugging you so here. I got it for you." Then Aldo shoved it in her mouth. He waited a moment. Then all of a sudden Ramdo started twitching. Her teeth turned pointy, and claws came out from her knuckles. She even started to hiss. The old women tricked him. Ramdo jumped on Aldo and bit his head off. She suddenly turned back to normal, and walked back home while whispering to herself. "I am NEVER leave my room again.
Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing on Rainbows
Once upon a time, in the kingdom of Rowena, there lived a beautiful princess named Aranista. She loved to go riding upon her dashing steed, a powerful Friesian stallion named Storm. He had a sleek black coat, and a long flowing mane and tail. Every day, the princess would run to the stables, leap up onto his back, and race out the courtyard gates, guiding him with her legs and voice only. She would ride for hours through the deep, misty forests, and the wild, fierce mountains.
Finally, she would return home, and rule by her father's side for a few hours each evening, as often showing mercy and pardon as she did command beheadings. She especially liked to condemn slimy old farts to be slow-cooked in oil, then well-seasoned and fed to her pet bear, Mimsy. Mimsy was a 3 year old, male polar bear, missing one eye and several teeth. His face was much scarred, and he often ate the servants sent to feed him as well. But he loved Aranista, enough to try to eat her at least once a day, but she always bear-sprayed him, with love, to keep him at bay. She had stolen him as a cub from his mother, and made him her pet for life, after stuffing the mother polar bear and placing her beside the princess' bed.
One day, Aranista was out riding Storm, and she came upon a prince who had been badly wounded by a pack of wolves. He had managed to escape by fighting them off with a wooden spoon covered in itching powder. They ran off, sneezing, but not before taking a big chunk out of his leg. The poor prince was tired from all that fighting, however, and he decided to take a nap. As he lay sleeping, Aranista came riding up, and seeing him lay there, bleeding out, decided to take pity upon the handsome man, and bound up his wound for him.
When he woke, he saw the beautiful princess standing above him, seeming to be glowing with a strange light. She actually was, because her kingdom's water supply had become tainted, and any who drank became radioactive and extremely dangerous. However, the prince knew he loved her at first sight, and begged her to become his wife.
Gazing into his gorgeous green eyes, the princess leaned closer, until their faces were but inches apart, and whispered, "No. You smell like feet." Then she stood back up, kicked him in his wounded leg a few times for good measure, and then rode off into the sunset on Storm, jumping fallen trees and cantering through the woods as she went.
The End