Disclaimer: I don't own Hollyoaks, nor the characters Max, OB, Clare or Tom. Wish I did though, but hey... Max and OB should really get together.
Tom. All I could think about was Tom. His eyes penetrated my thoughts as I slumped onto the couch, briefly squeezing my eyes shut as I attempted to figure a way out of this. A way around this. How could I get Tom back? What was stopping him from coming back home? Fingers tightening on my jeans, I let out a small shaky breath, tears stinging beneath my eyelids. This was impossible. I wanted to know what was wrong and he wouldn't let me near him. How was I supposed to help if he wouldn't let me touch him?
It was Clare. I knew it had to be her. There wasn't any other explanation for it, and my anger heightened as I desperately tried to work out what she might have said to Tom to make him behave like this. I needed to figure this out. I needed Tom back and that bitch had done something to him.
She was fucking up my entire life. Everything I did, she was always one step ahead of me. How was I supposed to deal with that? A stray tear leaked out and slid down my right cheek, and I ignored it for a moment, staring blankly across the room. Had Tom said anything to me to suggest what Clare might have said? I frantically tried to remember the past few days, attempting to pick up on anything Tom might have mentioned.
Nothing. Nothing came up. Tom hadn't said anything unusual to me. Apart from the fact that he ran away whenever I went near him. Yeh. That was a bit strange. My jaw tensed and I felt my fists clench of their own accord, imagining Clare's smug face in front of me. Jesus, I just wanted to kill her.
A small smirk played on my face for a moment as I thought of her lying in the hospital. Good. She deserved to be there. She deserved to stay there. Or, better yet, die there. Whatever she had said to Tom, it had freaked him out. And she should die for saying whatever she did to him. It wasn't fair on him. Fuck, he's just a seven year old. And it wasn't fair on me either…
I snorted. When had she ever wanted to be fair to me? She'd tried to kill me. Too bad I hadn't been the one to push her off the fire escape. That would have made my day. I blinked and ignored how much I would have loved to have done it. I couldn't risk losing Tom over her. I was better than her. I had to be.
I eyed the phone and ran a hand over my face tiredly, wondering if I should phone Tony and ask him where OB was. I hadn't seen him for most of the day. Which was worrying. Where was he? And what the hell was he doing? It wasn't like OB to just vanish. I allowed myself hope that he was trying to find a way around the social services.
"Fuck!" I yelled suddenly and angrily, punching the couch as I shakily stood, eyes blazing. I couldn't figure this out without talking to Clare, and she was currently lying on a hospital bed. Talk about ironic.
What was I meant to do? Just sit here? Just sit here and wait for her to wake up and ruin my life again? She could do anything. Anything from where she was lying. She could talk to the police. She could accuse me of pushing her and no-one would know any better. She was good at that. Lying and making everything fit together to form her story. It's what makes her such a bitch.
I froze, realising what that would mean. Tom would be taken away from me forever. I'd never see him again. Eyes widening in fear of that situation, I barely registered that my knees were crumpling, and I finally fell to the floor with a small sob. This…couldn't be happening. She couldn't take Tom from me. Anything else. Hell, I'd even pay her. I'd give up all my money, everything. Just not Tom. Not Tom.
She'd fucked up everything. My life. How was I supposed to handle this if she was always behind me, watching me? If she died I'd never get Tom back. If she lived then she'd make sure Tom would never see me again.
"It's not fucking fair!" I mumbled into my hands, shoulders shaking as the tears continued to stream down my cheeks. Christ, I was acting like such a girl. I ignored the salty taste on my lips as my fingers tightened in my hair, gaze still fixed on the floor from my low position beside the couch. I needed to find a way to get Tom to open up to me. But how was that possible if he wouldn't even accept sweets off me nowadays? I closed my eyes, stopping my tears for a brief moment as I bit down on my lip, hard. There had to be a way. Maybe he'd talk to someone at the social services. Maybe they could tell me what he'd said. What Clare had told him? Maybe then it would make more sense.
A little voice nagged me in the back of my brain, and I blinked away the rest of my tears, shoulders slumping downwards in defeat. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't help Tom unless he spoke to me. And he wouldn't.
I couldn't get him back. I wasn't going to be able to get him back.
I swallowed my emotions down as my blank expression worsened, my stare at the floor intensifying.
I really needed a drink.
After a moment or two I looked up and spotted a beer nearby on the table.
Almost an hour later, I was on the floor again, legs pulled up to rest against my chest as I glumly took sips from the can, frustration ebbing away as the drink affected me. Huh. Well, drinks, technically. How many had I had? I rolled my eyes. Lost count. Who fucking cared anyway? Tom was gone. There wasn't much point in trying to remain sober if he wasn't around, was there?
I chuckled sadly, smile dissolving away as my laughter turned into a pathetic version of a giggle, the numerous amounts of beer cans surrounding me getting knocked over as I kicked a few of them away and over the floor. One of them spilled out its remaining liquid and I stared.
Great. Just great.
I chuckled again at my idiocy before gulping down at least half of the beer in the can I was currently clutching onto, the taste lingering on my tongue as I blearily felt myself grow tired again.
Time for another one.
Dropping the can I had been holding, I shakily stood and made my way over to the kitchen. Opening the fridge, I pulled out another, amazingly thankful that OB had purchased so many. It felt like a party here. Except it was missing the fun and the music. And Tom.
I vaguely heard the sound of a door opening and closing, and didn't even realise someone else was in the room until I sensed another presence and glanced up. I smiled as I noticed OB standing across the room from me, staring at me, before letting his eyes scour over the masses of cans scattered over the floor.
"Want one?" I asked, grinning stupidly in order to hide my depression, holding an open can high above my head and waving it around slightly, causing some of its contents to spill over my head. I chuckled a little.
"…Max...?" OB questioned gently, taking a tentative step towards me, carefully dodging the things in his way. I refused to acknowledge his knowing tone and grinned again, clumsily making my way towards him with the beer and stumbling over in the process.
His arms were suddenly wrapped around me, and I distantly heard him whispering something into my ear as he tugged me towards the couch. I didn't bother refusing to follow him. Being drunk didn't give me extra strength. Although sometimes I wish it did…
"What are you doing, mate?" I heard him mumble as he pushed me back into the sofa, his fingers carefully prying the can from my hands. I grinned at him, hair messily falling over my forehead as I spotted his dark eyes boring into mine, glinting with worry.
"Just having a drink." I slurred after a moment more of grinning stupidly at him, attempting to sit up before feeling his hands pushing me back down. Suddenly, his face was pushing itself into view, closely peering at me as he held me down.
"Max. What's wrong with you?" he asked sharply, frowning as I glanced away. I couldn't talk to him. Not about Tom. Not now. I wasn't ready. He must have taken my silence for something else, because he sighed heavily, and then I felt his arm being slung heavily around my shoulders, pulling me up a little. I let out a soft sigh in response, and unable to sit up properly, I leant against him, face solemn all of a sudden. He noticed my expression. I felt his gaze on me intensify, his eyes questioning.
"Max." he warned, and then his hands were on either side of my face, turning my head to look at him, eye-to-eye. I swallowed nervously.
"…is this about Tom?" he asked softly.
I dragged my gaze from a fixed point over his shoulder back to his imploring eyes, and as soon as my stupid grin had appeared, I felt it vanish, OB confirming exactly what was on my mind. He saw, I could tell. And then, suddenly, he was embracing me, and I realised why he was my best friend.
I broke down in loud, noisy sobs, tears not stopping as he pulled me closer into his chest, even though I knew I was probably making him get wet. It briefly crossed my mind that this was a little more intimate than our usual hugs, but the thought was soon drowned from my mind as I sunk a little more into his warmth, feeling his hair brush against my forehead as he attempted to rock me back and forth.
"…We'll get him back…" he whispered soothingly into my ear, warmth of his breath tickling my skin. "Look, I swear we'll get him back…"
I shook my head against his chest, gulping down air in between sobs as I muttered bitterly, "We won't. Clare…she's…got me right where she wants me."
It was his turn to shake his head, and I blinked, feeling his fingers tighten on my shirt as he drew me even closer.
"She won't win, Max." he replied firmly. "You've got me. I'm not going to let her win."
I smiled sadly, closing my eyes for a moment. "You know she'll just lie her way out of it. Tom…he's going to be taken away from me…"
My mind drifted, and I felt myself relax a little into OB's grip, the beers from earlier now making me feel beyond tired all of a sudden. I yawned loudly, my cheeks wet. OB pulled me away from his chest to look me in the eye, and I vaguely saw a small smile flicker across his features before his face loomed closer to mine. My eyelids drooped and I hardly noticed when a pair of lips brushed gently against mine, thoughts occupied with Tom and sleep. A hand snuck around the back of my head, and my eyes finally closed as fingers ran themselves through my hair, before I finally succumbed to the comforting sleep I desperately needed.
Okay, my head hurt. I wearily opened one eye, grimacing at the sunlight pouring in from a crack in the curtain, and gave a glance around, realising that I was in my room. I frowned in confusion, forehead throbbing. What the hell had I done last night? I raised a hand to my eyes, covering them from the brightness, and sat up with a small groan.
My mouth tasted of beer. I pulled a face, realising I must have gotten drunk. How fucking stupid could I get? I sighed heavily and raised an eyebrow as I glanced at myself, seeing that I was only wearing my boxers. Someone had changed me? I cringed as it dawned on me that OB could have been the only person to do that. Shit. He must have seen me in a pretty bad state.
I yawned, stifling it with my right hand before standing, head throbbing a hell of a lot more as I winced and tied on a dressing gown. Time to face the morning. I gave a quick look at my clock, eyes widening as I saw the time. Fuck. It was three in the afternoon. I hadn't slept this late in for ages. I stared at the clock hands for a moment more before shaking my head in disbelief and making my way towards the kitchen in a dazed state.
When I finally reached my destination, I chewed on my lip nervously when I spotted OB beside the fridge, his back turned to me, fully dressed and very awake. Much more awake than me anyway. I gave a small cough to signal I was there, and he turned.
Our eyes met, and in an instant, my stomach dropped. I could see a glint of worry in his eyes…and something else I couldn't quite place. He was wearing an apron. I looked at it, and then back up at his face, an eyebrow raised. He grinned, the worried look gone as he motioned for me to come closer.
"Hangover cure." He stated, holding up a large glass of something that resembled a mixture of slime and eggs. I watched him, cheeks reddening slightly as I scratched the back of my neck absent-mindedly. This was going to be hard to explain if he wanted to know why it had happened.
"Yeh…I'm sorry…about last night. If I did something stupid or anything…then…" I trailed off, glancing around to see if I had broken anything. OB watched me curiously.
"You don't remember anything about last night then?" he asked softly, and I blinked at his tone before shaking my head, eyes lowering.
"I…remember thinking about Tom." I admitted after a moment. He nodded his head, eyes glancing over my slumped form.
"Yeh…well that makes two of us." He replied, before a small grin made its way onto his face again and he was pushing the glass into my hands. "Drink up."
I stared at the thing in my hands and looked at him. "I…really don't feel that thirsty, mate."
He shook his head with a chuckle and watched me coolly. "Drink it or I'll tie you to a chair and make you."
I laughed at him, shaking my head. "What are you? My mother? I'm not drinking that stuff. It looks like you scooped it out of the sewers."
He feigned a hurt look and rolled his eyes. "Max, I mean it. It'll help you get over all those beers you had."
I shrugged, feeling small of a sudden, and looked at him. "How many did I have?" I asked quietly.
He watched me for a moment. "...Enough." came the firm reply after a minute or two. I sighed and continued to stare at the drink in my hands with a mixture of horror and disgust.
"Just drink it." Sighed OB, crossing his arms. I glared at him before pushing away my fears and swallowing at least half of the glass's contents, grimacing as it made its way down my throat, burning my insides.
"I hate you." I finally croaked out, setting the glass down as I tried to not be sick. He grinned boyishly and put a hand around my shoulder, squeezing me.
"I know you do." He joked before glancing at me. "Anyway, look, since you're awake, do you mind if I go speak to Tony for a while? I won't be that long, promise. I want to go see if I can get us both to see Tom again sometime soon."
My eyes darkened and I nodded, my expression blank as I turned away from OB to head back to my room to get changed. I could feel his gaze on my back, following my movements.
"Max?" he finally questioned, and I turned to look at him. "…Don't go anywhere. And don't touch any of the beers."
I watched him, hurt that he didn't trust me. His dark eyes didn't take any notice, even as he carried on.
"Please." He added quietly, voice laced with something I couldn't decipher, and I did all that I could be bothered to do in that moment. I nodded.
He smiled slightly, before heading away and out of the door, leaving me to listen to it slam shut behind him, my thoughts already revolving around Tom and what he'd be like when I next saw him.
My mind screamed at me to do something instead of sitting around like the idiot I was. I frowned, trying to think of what OB could be talking to Tony about, and finally gave up wondering and switched on the TV, blankly staring at the flickering screen as news items flashed up. Sighing after a moment or two, I grew angry at myself. I needed to get out there. How was I helping Tom by sitting around like this? I wasn't. I didn't need OB to do everything for me. I needed to do something. Now!
I stood hastily, grabbing my jacket as I headed for the door, and made my way outside, into the street. I glanced around, hoping there wasn't anyone I recognised. My eyes spotted no-one. Thankfully. I smiled thinly. Where was I actually planning to go? Rushing outside with no intentions of going anywhere in particular wasn't helpful. My mind whirred with possible solutions.
And then it clicked.
The hospital. I could go to the hospital. I felt myself begin to fume. If anything, talking to Clare might mean I could figure out what was wrong with Tom. The bitch wouldn't be able to get out of our little conversation if she was lying on a hospital bed with me in-between her and the door. My jaw tensed and I shoved my hands into my jacket pockets, motioning for a taxi that was conveniently parked nearby.
On my way there, I quickly thought over how I was going to make this work. I could easily resort to the sort of stuff she usually did. Blackmail. Threats. Or…I could offer her money. My eyes narrowed. If I offered her money, would she leave me alone? Would she give me back Tom? I inwardly sighed and shook my head. No. She didn't work that way. She'd keep using Tom as something to keep me under her control. How was I supposed to trust any kind of deal I made with her? I couldn't trust her. And she knew me too well. She knew how I worked out these things. I grimaced. I needed to sort out a way that would surprise her. Catch her off guard. Something that would give me the advantage, despite her being the one lying in a hospital bed at the moment.
I quickly paid the taxi driver, looking at his yellow teeth with slight disgust as he crookedly smiled at me, before I headed for the entrance of the hospital. It didn't look that busy. I looked around, then realised I was going to appear even more of a suspect if I turned up now. I wiped that thought swiftly. I needed to talk to her. I didn't care about anything else.
"Hey." I spoke quietly to the receptionist. The pretty blonde looked up, eyes flickering over my form as she smiled sweetly at me.
"Can I help you?" she asked politely.
I shot her a small smile. "Erm, yeh. I was wondering if you could tell me where Clare Cunningham is. She's a patient here."
"...Of course." She replied, and I watched as she scrolled through lists on her computer, before she fixed her gaze on me once again, eyes curious. "Are you related to her? It's just…it doesn't appear that she's allowed any other guests than family members."
I chewed on my tongue for a moment before nodding at her. "I'm…her husband."
She nodded and smiled once more. "Well, I don't see any problem in you going to visit her. Although the police have been interviewing her recently, I think they've left her now."
She scribbled something down on a notepad and handed me a piece of paper with the room number and floor on it. I smiled thankfully at her, secretly wondering why her teeth were so white, before heading towards an elevator and quickly taking it up a few floors.
Walking down a bright lit corridor, my fists started to clench before I was even halfway there. How the fuck could she do this to Tom? To me!? It wasn't right. She was an evil witch. I was going to make her see that, even if-
"…Max?"
A voice piped up behind me, and I turned, eyes wide with guilt as I faced a surprised looking OB down the other end of the corridor, the surprised look on his face quickly dissolving into worry, and then into anger.
I blinked. His reaction wouldn't be a nice one. I wasn't going to deal with this right now. I needed to see Clare. Almost as if he was predicting I'd ignore him, he started towards me, frowning.
"Max." he warned, slowly making his way down the corridor down towards my angry form. "What are you doing here?"
I would have snapped back at him, asking him just the same. But no. I was on a mission. Even OB wasn't going to stop me from seeing her, despite the likely fact he had come to do exactly the same as me. I looked at him, our eyes meeting for a second, before turning on my heel and swiftly rushing down the hallway. I heard him shout something, and soon there were footsteps running behind me, the two doctors walking down the hallway giving me a strange look as I plunged past them.
"Max, stop!" came OB's close voice, and I quickly rushed on, eyes frantically searching for the room number.
Come on…
My eyes fixed themselves upon a window, and peering in, I spotted her face. Lying on a hospital bed, scrapes along her face, she looked almost pitiful. Pathetic. I sneered and placed my hand on the door, seeing no-one else was in there, before a hand grasped my shoulder, pulling me back and shoving me against the wall beside the room door. I groaned as my head hit the wall, and angrily tried to push OB away from me, attempting to edge towards the door again. He stared at me, eyes blazing as his hands held me firmly against the wall.
"I told you to stay back at home." He said, voice rising with anger. "So, why the hell are you here?!"
I glared at him openly, giving him another forceful push which did nothing. "I came here to find out what she said to Tom." I said, gritting my teeth. How could he understand? He would just carry on fighting, and lose Tom in the end. I had to do something to end this.
"For God's sake, Max!" he exploded, face growing closer to mine as his eyes darkened. "I don't want you going anywhere near her!"
"Why?" I snapped back just as angrily. "You afraid she's going to try and kill me again?"
"YES!" yelled OB, eyes glinting furiously as his hands tightened around my shoulders as though he was afraid I was going to make a break for it.
I stared at him for a moment before becoming equally as angry. "I don't need your fucking protection! I can take care of myself!"
"Sure seemed like that when you were sinking to the bottom of that lake!" he shouted sarcastically, and I stared at him wordlessly, looking away after a moment. He opened his mouth to say something then shut it again, eyes softening.
"…I'm sorry, I didn't mean- I, well…" he began, but I waved him off with my hand.
"No. You're right." I muttered bitterly. "You're always the hero, right? The one with the ideas and the plans, who can figure out everything instantly. Me? Nah, I'm the bit at the side. The one you need to look after."
I pulled away from his grip, glaring at him as I took a step backwards. "In fact, why do you even stick around to see me mess up? I'm such a failure, aren't I? What's the point in hanging around with me? You don't get anything out of it. It's always me, making the mistakes, falling for Clare's plans in the first place-"
"-Y-You don't get it, all right?!" blurted out OB, watching me, his eyes shining brightly. "You're my best friend. And…and I lo-..like seeing you happy. Without you there is no me. And if you walk in that room right now, Clare is going to ruin everything all over again, and I can't deal with that!"
He finished off his sentence by wrapping his fingers around my right wrist, whilst clamping a hand over my mouth and half-dragging me, half-pushing me towards the elevator again. My eyes widened in shock, and I mumbled into his hand angrily.
"No, Max." he spoke firmly, eyes glancing around the corridor to check no-one could see us. "I'm not letting you go. You're not talking to Clare. You're coming back home. Then we'll figure out what to do about Tom."
He looked at me, as he pulled us both into the elevator, the doors sliding shut allowing him to let go of my mouth. I turned around to face him angrily, wrenching my wrist out of his hand.
"What the hell do you think you're doing? You can't control what I do!"
He chuckled bitterly. "Clare used to."
I glared at him. "So, you're taking a page out of Clare's book now?"
Silence consumed the elevator for a moment before he stepped forward, pushing me against the wall angrily as he raised his finger to my face.
"Don't…ever-EVER compare me to that…bitch!" he spat, eyes sparkling. "I'd never hurt you!"
I stared at him, nervous all of a sudden. I'd never seen him like this before. My eyes went slightly round, and finally, I nodded, lowering my eyes to the floor. "Fine." I muttered through gritted teeth. "But you can't stop me from talking to her when she's out of this place."
He pulled away, leaning on the elevator wall opposite me, looking like he was ready to argue with that, but his mouth closing shut as he saw the expression on my face. He crossed his arms and sighed. The floor number went down. I barely noticed when we reached the ground floor, nor when the doors slid open; just quickly making my way out of the elevator, I felt OB's close presence right behind me, eyes burning into my neck worriedly.
"I'm sorry."
I blinked and looked up from staring at the TV screen to turn and face OB sitting on the couch beside me, his dark eyes watching me through the flickering lights that flashed on and off the screen in the darkness of the room.
"What?" I asked.
"I said, I'm sorry." He repeated softly. I watched him for minute, not knowing how to respond.
"…it's…all right." I finally managed to reply, turning back to face the TV so my eyes wouldn't deceive me.
"No." he spoke sharply, interrupting my thoughts. "No, it isn't all right. I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have dragged you away."
I sighed and turned back to look at him, giving up on TV for a moment. "Look, honestly, its fine. You're right. She'd just make things worse. I'd just ruin everything. It's a good thing that you stopped me."
I attempted to calm him with my gaze, but it only made him lean forward, eyes glinting in the shadows.
"Max." he half-whispered, and I nodded.
"Yeh?"
He smiled slightly, as though he was keeping some sort of secret from me, watching me with…affection? I grinned a little at him as I waited for him to respond. After a while, he shook his head, smile still lingering as he watched me.
"Nothing. Don't worry."
I raised an eyebrow, half-wondering why he was acting like such an idiot, then gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder.
"How was Tony?"
"Tony?" he questioned, frowning, before smiling a little in realisation. "Oh! Yeh, he's all right. Says hi. You should go see him tomorrow."
"Yeh, all right." I smiled a little in response before dragging a hand through my hair, feeling OB's eyes on me as I sank back a little more, TV catching my eye once more as a car twisted in the air. The vehicle was soon on the ground in flames. Was this a movie? Huh. I hadn't seen it before.
I started, feeling strange as I glanced over at OB who was still looking at me in the darkness of the room. What was with him?
"There something on my face?" I half-grinned at him. He blinked, and then smiled, shaking his head as his hand reached out towards me, ruffling my hair.
"Just wondering if I could dye your hair blue in the night without you noticing."
I could have sworn that I saw a hint of joy on Tom's face as I walked into the room, OB close on my heels as we each offered the kid a smile, attempting to calm the atmosphere, although I knew it wouldn't ever be anywhere near calm. I had to get him back, and OB's plans weren't going to work. I knew it, I just knew it. With a small soft sigh, I was careful to keep my expression grinning as I sat down opposite Tom, feeling OB shift beside me as we both watched Tom affectionately.
"You okay?" asked OB, starting off the awkward conversation that was likely to follow. He always started things off. It was his thing, I guessed.
Tom gave a small smile and nod, and my shoulder's drooped. Didn't he want to even talk to us now? What was holding him back? Maybe I'd done something wrong already… As if sensing my inner turmoil, OB glanced at me, eyes warning me not to think like that. I lowered my gaze, and then turned to Tom, smiling.
"So, have you been up to anything interesting?" I asked, tilting my head and giving my best smile, which still felt ultimately fake.
Tom looked at me, eyes large and wide, before nodding again. "I played football yesterday."
My jaw tensed as I felt a pang of envy towards anyone who had been with him recently. It should be me playing football with him. Not anyone else. It should be me and OB going off and having fun with him.
"That's-that's good." I finally managed to reply, nodding. God, this conversation felt so fake. OB glanced at me again before filling the small silence.
"So…Tom…" he began as friendly as possible. "How'd you feel about coming back with us now? I mean, I'm sure you're having a great time, but me and Max really miss you, mate."
He shot Tom a hopeful grin, but Tom recoiled, as if he'd been slapped, and immediately I was on my feet, heading towards him.
"What is it, Tom?" I asked unsurely. "Please, just tell us why you're acting like this…I can deal with it."
Tom shot up from the chair he had been sitting in and headed for the door, attracting the attention of the social worker who was on her feet in a moment, giving us a pitiful smile.
"I think it might be best if you go now…" she started gently, and I frowned.
"We've only just arrived! At least let us talk to him!" I yelled, fists clenching and unclenching in frustration.
The woman frowned back and shook her head, expression turning sternly against me as she motioned for Tom to leave out of the door behind her. I desperately watched him vanish from my sight, tempted to grab him and run.
"Please, Mr Cunningham. Just co-operate. You can talk with him soon."
I stared at her. Talking to him like this, in this place, it wasn't going to solve anything. Just giving me two minutes with him wasn't enough. I should be spending the whole fucking day with him! This wasn't fair!
"Max." OB soothed from behind me, and I shook my head, blinking away the rapid tears that were forming in the corner of my eyes. This was so stupid. Tom didn't even want me to be there for him anymore. "Let's go."
I slammed the door shut behind me as we both entered our place, eyes fixed on the ground as I walked through the lounge, heading straight for Tom's toys. From behind me, I heard OB's footsteps hurrying to catch me up, and soon, his hand was on my shoulder, twisting me around.
"I know it's hard, but come on, you can't just give up."
"To hell I can't." I snapped, turning away from his worried face to angrily grab toys and begin stuffing them into a bag nearby. Soft toys and games; I threw them all in, expression unreadable as I attempted to keep the memories at bay.
"Max, stop it!" OB said firmly after a moment of watching me pack away mountains of Tom's stuff. He reached out to try and twist me round again, but I shrugged his hand off, ignoring him and continuing to do what I desperately wished I didn't have to do.
"Max!"
"Get lost." I mumbled in fierce reply, tears stinging my eyelids once again as I grabbed the nearest toy car and pushed it deep into the bag. His hand was on my shoulder again, and instead of shrugging it off, I turned around angrily and batted it off of me.
"I said, get lost!"
"No." replied OB simply, eyes glinting with something unrecognisable in them and he made for the bag, trying to take it off me. I growled, and in one swift moment, he was on top of me, fingers prying it from my hands as I writhed underneath him, toys of different shapes and sizes pushing into my back and making me wince. I pushed the bag a little further away from him, and rolled over OB, crawling out from under him as he grabbed my legs, pulling me down once more.
"Will you just stop it!?" he asked angrily, face merely inches from mine as his dark eyes searched mine in a frustrated manner. "We're not going to give up! And even if you do, I won't!"
I glared at him. "We can't do anything, anymore! Its obvious Tom wasn't keen to come back with us! He can't even stand me getting close to him!"
OB shook his head angrily, hands catching my flailing wrists and pinning them to the floor, stopping me from getting away from whatever sort of ranting he was about to start on.
"He still loves you, and you know it! I saw how he looked at you when you walked in! If you missed it, then you're an idiot. We just need to find out what's made him change, that's all."
My expression grew irritated as I shook my head wildly, hair ruffling up into a messier style than normal, eyes trying to make OB understand. "Don't you see?" I started. "We'll never be able to find out what's going on with him! He doesn't want to talk with us! And because of that, we'll never get him back!"
I finished the sentence with a forceful push; catching OB by surprise and managing to nudge him off, proving fruitless as he was soon back on top of me, face red with anger as he tried to make me understand him this time.
"You've let Clare get to you." He accused, eyes flashing dangerously. It took me a moment to realise what he'd just said, and I froze beneath him, unsure of what I'd just heard properly, before the tense silence between us crackled and my own frustration built up.
"What?!" I asked through gritted teeth.
He smirked at me and nodded knowingly. "You know."
Right. That was it. Last straw. Fuck this. Fuck him. I yelled out angrily, and pushed against him with all my strength, effectively making us wrestle with each other across the floor as I was once again, pinned on my back.
"Don't you ever fucking accuse me of that again!" I warned. He watched me, interested all of a sudden, before nodding.
"You ditch Tom, then you've let Clare won." He finally stated. I looked at him. What he said held some thread of truth. Whatever I did, Clare was going to have some part in it. If Tom went, if Tom was taken away from me…then he'd either grow up without me…or grow up with Clare. My body turned cold at that thought, and I chewed on my lip, desperately trying to think of other solutions that could get me out of this.
"…this isn't fair." I finally murmured, my eyes downcast as they shined a little too brightly with unshed tears. OB shifted against me, and I blinked, realising what kind of compromising position we were in with a little embarrassment. All the other times we'd fought with each other, not once had it ever occurred to me to think like that…
"Nothing's fair." OB finally muttered, me not daring to look up at him. "It's not fair that Clare was always there to ruin things between us. Or that she could manage to break us apart. It's not fair that she got to have you all to her fucking self while you were married…"
He almost spat the last sentence out, and I blinked, looking up at him, hearing a sound of…jealousy? As if he was expecting me to look up questioningly, he shot me the faintest of smiles.
"…what…" I started, curiously. "What…do you mean?"
I stared at him, watching him openly with a hint if suspicion in the darkness of the lounge, tensing as he bent lower. And lower. And lower. That unreadable expression on his face, eyes glinting as he inched closer and closer. What was happening? Seriously…was he…? W-was he about to…?
My eyes went as round as they could possibly go as his lips connected with mine, softly running his tongue across my bottom lip, urging me to open my mouth. My body froze and I stared up at him, his hair tickling me as I felt one of his hands run itself up into my hair, clutching it and holding my head gently in place. His chest pushed itself against me, and after a moment or two, I groaned into the warmth of his body, him seizing the opportunity to devour my mouth, tongue exploring it with a frantic kind of energy, attempting to spark me into action. I remained frozen, and then gave the briefest shake of the head, pulling my mouth away from his breathlessly.
"What the hell are you doing?" I blurted out, wide-eyed, hardly noticing his fingers running themselves through my hair as he looked down at me affectionately.
In answer, he leant down again, and as I braced myself for the feel of his tongue down my throat again, I emitted a gasp of surprise as his lips pressed themselves against my neck, making me shudder. Making me shudder in pleasure. I let out another groan as he nibbled on my skin gently, eyes glazing over and forcing me to forget about how weird and fucked up this all was. He was my friend, for god's sake. My best friend. This…shouldn't be happening.
OB pulled back, eyes unreadable in the dim light, his face so close that his breath began to mingle with mine, and all I could do was stare at him. He finally leant down after analysing me, forehead resting against mine as he looked into my eyes, his own eyes closing slightly as he began to talk.
"Max." he half-whispered happily. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."
There was a short silence between us for a moment, before I spoke up. "How long?" I croaked out curiously.
His eyes snapped open fully, and looked at me properly, blazing a little with jealousy or anger. I couldn't decipher which.
"Ever since you and Clare were together." He said bitterly.
I inhaled shakily in surprise, and averted my gaze, not sure if I was enjoying the way he was resting so close to me.
"I…don't understand." I finally admitted softly after a moment or two of our gentle breathing. He pressed into me a little closer, his lips millimetres away from mine as he smiled a little at me.
"You don't need to."
Suddenly all thoughts were lost to me as his tongue plunged into my mouth, a little more roughly this time, a little more possessively as his other arm encircled itself around my waist, pulling me closer and slightly off the floor.
After a moment or two, I realised with a small grin…that this didn't feel wrong. As if feeling me smiling against his mouth, OB grinned back, and I fisted my hands in his shirt, dragging him closer. He chuckled slightly, looking deliciously happy with this turn of events, and quickly pushed me back down to the floor again.
His hand roaming my chest, my grin widened a little as his hands finally pushed themselves beneath my shirt. I raised my arms, and he whipped it off of me, taking off his own shirt in the process. For a second, I froze, watching his toned chest as I realised that he wasn't a woman. I wasn't sleeping with a woman. This…was a man. This was OB. He shifted above me, and I sensed him watching me, his eyes scanning over my own chest and body like he couldn't quite believe this was happening. I watched him for a moment. Instead of wearing a grin, his eyes were darkening, and I froze once more. His eyes were full of lust, and soon, their gaze was aimed directly at me. A small smirk was tugging at the corner of his lips, and I chewed on my lip. He looked predatory.
Our lips and tongues merged again, his fingers softly brushing against the skin on my neck as he pushed himself closer to me, effectively pinning me to the floor below him.
"Dominant git." I half-murmured jokingly with a small smile, and he smirked at me, pulling back a little and raising an eyebrow dramatically.
"Admit it, you love it." He offered teasingly, before swiping another taste of my mouth. I bit back a response and gave him a deep kiss, before letting my hands curl themselves around his back. His skin was smooth and warm. It felt nice. My eyes closed slowly and then the face of Tom swam into my thoughts.
Tom.
I blinked and attempted to sit up; pushing OB off of me as I blankly stared across the room, breathing heavily. I couldn't do this. Not while Tom was at risk. He could be taken away from me. Doing this…it wasn't right. I didn't even realise I had a few tears rolling down my cheeks until I felt a hand brush them away, and turned, seeing OB's face half illuminated by a lamp in the street somewhere outside the window. His face was carefully blank, worriedly watching me as he moved forward.
"Please. Just let me help. I swear we'll get him back."
My eyes clouded over slightly with disbelief, but as OB's arms encircled me once again, pushing me over to the sofa, I breathed out all my worries. I couldn't do anything tonight. It wouldn't make any difference. I had tomorrow, right? I just needed to work out a plan. I needed a plan.
OB's mouth gently enveloped mine this time, almost as if he was pushing and prying into my troubles, trying to force me to share them with him, and reluctantly, I gave into him. My tongue responded with his, and after a few more moments of him running his hands through my hair and me running my hands down his back, I was being pushed into the pillows as he fumbled with my belt buckle. I let out a chuckle, and he smiled finally pulling off the belt and throwing it over his shoulder. His smile widened as he looked down at me, eyes glinting. His eyes were doing that a lot these days. I'd never noticed much before…
He leant forward, and I barely noticed that he'd shredded his own jeans and boxers as well, too occupied with the heated kiss he was forcing upon me. My legs wrapped themselves around his waist, and I briefly wondered why the hell I was on the bottom, thoughts vanishing as he shifted backward slightly so I was practically sitting in his lap. My mind went into overdrive. What were we doing?? We weren't gay! …Were we…? And…how was this going to…work…?
I didn't realise he'd seen my panicked expression, only distracted from my worries as he laughed at me, eyes dark with lust as they scanned me up and down.
"Relax." He murmured, voice tinged with a hint of affection.
I froze, feeling his erection rub against mine, and I stared down at my arousal for a moment. This was so weird. This was OB. My thoughts turned into a low groan as he purposefully shifted forwards, rubbing against me again. My skin felt like sparks. He ran a hand seductively down my side, and I shivered in anticipation, feeling his other hand exploring every inch of skin on me.
And then without any notification, I felt a finger slide inside me, and gasped in surprise. OB's finger slid in, then out, causing me to writhe a little underneath him. This was new. This was weird. And…this didn't make sense. I closed my eyes, thoughts drifting a little as I shuddered in pleasure. Me and OB had always been great friends. Well, maybe not always. But I'd always felt like I'd known him more than anyone, and it was the same vice versa. Didn't it make sense that this had been coming? My mouth opened, emitting a throaty moan for a moment.
Hell yeah.
I barely registered the fact that OB was planting kisses on my chest, just below my neck, before realizing that his fingers had been taken out of me and instead, replaced by-
"Fuck!" I groaned loudly, new tears stinging in the corner of my eyes as I felt OB slide into me as slowly as possible. He pulled me a little more into his lap, his breath on my neck as he murmured soothing things into my ear, one hand firmly on my hip whilst the other played with my hair.
"Max." he breathed softly, and I attempted to relax.
This hurt. This hurt a fucking lot.
He placed a kiss on my neck, before he started sliding out, causing me to groan again. It felt like I was being broken in two. Ripped in half. Fuck, it really hurt. I winced and my features scrunched up in pain, eyes shutting out everything else. I vaguely heard him breathe out shakily, and my mouth tightened as I realized he was trying to control himself.
"Just…do it." I whispered, urging him to move. The hand in my hair tightened, pulling me forward as his lips crashed into mine whilst he thrust upwards. I let out a yell, muffled by his mouth on mine, tongue gently sliding against mine. As I whimpered again, he pulled out just as fast, before swiftly thrusting upwards once more. I groaned, hands clutching hold of his back as he continued to push into me, and after a few more minutes, OB developed a rhythm, both our bodies pressed against each other, fitting perfectly. Letting out a moan, he feverishly claimed me, nibbling a little on my neck. I only managed to twist a little under him in response, face flushed, and body rising rapidly with heat as h-
"OB…" I groaned loudly as he hit that spot, and I could almost see the smirk on his face in the darkness as he pushed onwards, his fingers tightening on their hold of me. "Oh fuck…OB…"
"Max…" I vaguely heard him breathe heavily, and he continued to push himself in, again…and again…an-
My body suddenly shuddered and jerked with pleasure, and white spots appeared above my eyes as I went limp, feeling OB still inside me, having his own orgasm as he came, filling me with warmth. He pulled out after a couple of seconds, and fell, draping himself over me as we both panted for air. My eyes stared at the ceiling, barely registering what the fuck we had just done.
Me and OB had just had sex.
We…
Me and OB.
We'd just had sex with each other.
I shakily closed my eyes, not daring to believe what had just happened. OB shifted above me, arms encircling me and pulling me closer to him as he rested his head beside mine, thumb caressing my cheek and jaw. I could feel the warmth of his breath as he whispered into my ear.
"…I love you. You have no fucking idea how much, but I do. I love you so fucking much…."
I swallowed, a little nervous of how to respond, eyes only widening as he pressed himself closer to me. Possessively, he wrapped his arms completely around my chest and held me there below him. I breathed out, his skin making mine tingle with excitement again, already.
"I-" I started softly, but he shook his head, placing a kiss on my mouth to stop me from replying.
"Don't." he spoke gently. "Just sleep."
I blinked, not realizing I was actually tired until he mentioned sleep. My eyelids drooped of their own accord in that moment, and OB chuckled a little, as I breathed in his scent, our positions making my head become buried in his neck and shoulder.
"…mmhm." I mumbled dozily, not bothering to try and keep awake anymore. It hadn't fully hit me yet. What we'd just done. And OB knew this. I could tell by the way he was whispering soothing things into my ear that I wasn't really hearing. Or by the way he was stroking me, caressing me. Or possibly by the way his affectionate gaze was locked firmly on my face. After a moment, I gave in. This was so fucking weird, but yet, it felt so right. It didn't make sense. OB was my best friend. And always had been. But maybe that's why? We'd known each other for so long…and he knew me more than anyone else. He was always there for me. Always. Always trying to help. Maybe this was just another way of him getting to know me more.
His lips were on my cheek, gentle and soft, and as his fingers ran through my hair once more, I decided to save my thinking until morning.
It was always him. Always him, there to help me. And I could deal with that.
We'd get Tom back.
AN: My first slash scene between these two characters, lol. I don't think I pulled it off that well, but I just had to get this story down. Watching Hollyoaks is just infuriating, I just want to push those two together, because god knows, they give the series a lot of slashy hints between those two. But anyway, the fic is slightly unrealistic, I've changed a few things to suit what I wanted to write down, lol, but here you go. Please review, I don't care if its a flame or just a comment. Reviews make me get all hyper and write more stories, lmao.