Hi! This was originally in my series of Speak Now oneshots, but I finished that, but I really wanted to post this as a oneshot, so I did.
Disclaimer: I don't own SWAC/So Random, Taylor Swift, Back to December, or anything talked about in Back to December.
The breakup
SPOV
I was visiting my boyfriend, Chad Dylan Cooper. I had some news for him. I realized that Chad would do anything to see me, but I wouldn't do as much to see him. I felt like I was leading him on, and didn't want to do it anymore.
"Chad, I really don't want to do this, but I have to break up with you, I'm so sorry." I said. I could hear her voice cracking, and since I didn't want to see Chad's reaction, I just ran away, crying and hoping that he won't take the breakup too hard.
So glad you made time to see me
I called Chad, just wanting to hear his voice after a few weeks that we broke up. I still felt bad for breaking up with him, the scars on my wrist prove it. It went straight to voicemail, so I just left a message.
"Hey Chad, it's Sonny. I really want to talk things over, I feel so bad for breaking up with you, I didn't realize what I had until it was gone. (A/N i didn't realize until after i wrote the sentence that it was similar to the lyrics to this song in the chorus xD) You'd think I wouldn't be taking the split that bad, but I'm taking it really hard even though I'm the one who broke up with you. I really need to talk to you, and not on the phone. Please meet me at the park at 7 tomorrow night, so we can talk things over. You have no idea how I feel about breaking up with you, it's not just guilt either. Please meet me at the park tomorrow." I said, then hung up.
7:00 at the park
I was at the park for 5 minutes, hoping Chad will show up. I was so happy when I saw him walk towards me, but my heart broke when I saw how he looked. I don't think he brushed his hair in the past few weeks. I can't believe I did this to him.
"Chad, I'm glad you were able to come. I really want to talk things over." I said. Chad sat right next to me on the bench.
How's life, tell me how's your family, I haven't seen them in a while
"So Chad, how have you been doing lately?" I asked.
"Not as good as I wish I was doing. Work has been distracting me from what happened though." Chad said. I did that to him? I didn't realize what an affect I've had on his life.
"How about your family? I haven't seen them in like, forever!" I said.
"They're doing fine. Carly misses you." Chad said, referring to his little sister that always ran up to me whenever I went to his house. I didn't only have affect on Chad, but on Carly too?
You've been good, busier than ever, small talk, work and the weather
"So, how about the weather?" I asked, not knowing how to break the awkward silence.
"You know, it's been pretty sunny, but it's been rainy in my world." Chad said. I can't believe that's what I did to him.
Your guard is up and I know why
I could tell Chad didn't want to open up much, he wasn't letting his guard down. Maybe some people don't understand why he would, but I do.
Cause the last time, I saw you is still burned in the back of your mind
He obviously can't stop thinking about the breakup. I haven't been taking it so good either, the day I broke up with him was spent eating ice cream while watching romantic cliches with Tawni, who was also heartbroken.
You gave me roses, and I left them there to die
I remember on the day of the breakup, he came to my dressing room before we were eating ice cream and watching movies with roses, asking for me to take him back. I had to deny, I had to leave those roses there to die.
So this is me, swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
"Listen Chad, you probably think that I wasn't that upset over the breakup, right?" I asked him. He nodded his head.
"Well, it's not true. I was so upset that day, you should've seen me when I was eating ice cream with Tawni! I'm sorry for what happened that day." I said.
"Sonny, just because you say sorry, doesn't make it all better." Chad said.
And I go back to December all the time
"Chad, I always think about what happened that night." I said truthfully.
"It still won't make me say it's okay, have you seen me? I look horrible because the girl of my dreams broke up with me!" Chad said. I'm the girl of his dreams?
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine
"Chad, that whole time we weren't together, all I would do is miss you. I didn't realize how much I had while you were mine." I said.\
"Sonny, it still isn't helping." Chad said.
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind
"Chad, if I could, I would change my mind so I wouldn't break up with you." I tried. Chad was silent.
I go back to December all the time
"Chad? I really can't stop thinking about that night." I said. Chad stayed silent.
These days I haven't been sleeping
"Chad, do you see the bags under my eyes? It's because I haven't been able to fall asleep lately." I said. Chad finally answered me.
"Why?" He asked.
Staying up playing back myself leaving, when your birthday passed and I didn't call
"Because, I keep thinking about me leaving you, and not calling when it was your birthday and saying no to your Chadtastic birthday party." I said. Chad ignored me, he probably didn't think I was telling the truth.
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times I watched you laughing from the passenger side
"Chad, I've been thinking about the summer that we were dating, those were the good old days. Those were the days I could smile." I said. Chad still didn't say anything.
Realized that I loved you in the fall
"Chad, I realized that I loved you that day when we broke up because you sent the stunt doubles on some of our dates. I don't think I would ever love someone after they do something like that, but I did. With you." I said. How can Chad still ignore me after saying that?
Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
"Chad, it was when it got cold, when the fear got to me, that I thought the best thing to do was to break up with you. I realize I was wrong." I said. Chas still ignored me. How can I get him to talk to me?
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye
"Chad, you gave me everything you had, all of the love that was in your heart, and I somehow turned all that down. I was wrong to do that." I said. Still silent. I feel like I'm talking to the ground, he's not answering me at all.
So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
"Chad, I'm sorry for that night. I can't live without you!" I said. Still no reaction. How does he do it?
And I go back to December all the time
"Chad, I can never stop thinking about what happened that day! You have no idea how hard I took it!" I said. Still no reaction. I really need him to start talking.
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine
"Chad, no matter what I do, I miss you." I said. How does Chad ignore me after saying so much?
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind
"Chad, if I could, I would go and fix what happened a few weeks ago." I said. Chad looked at me.
"Would you Sonny? Would you really?" Chad said, but wasn't joking, like he usually is when he says that, he was being serious.
"Yes, Chad. I would." I said.
I go back to December all the time
"Chad, all I do is go back to that day in December." I said, hoping he would believe me. I don't think he did.
I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right
"Chad, I miss your pale skin, your concieted, but gorgeous smirk, something that always made me feel good." I said. Still nothing.
And how you held me in your arms that September night, the first time you ever saw me cry
"Chad, you remember that night in September that you first saw me cry? That was the first time I let anyone see me cry!" I said. Nothing.
Maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming, if we loved again I swear I'd love you right
"Chad, if we ever were to start dating again, I would treat you right! What do I have to do to get you to forgive me?" I asked him. Chad looked at me.
"I need proof. I need proof that you couldn't deal with the breakup, something tragic, something I wouldn't believe you would do." Chad said. I showed him the scars on my wrists.
I'd go back in time and change it but I can't, so if the chain is on your door, I understand
"Chad, I really would go back in time and change it if I could, I don't blame you if you don't want to take me back." I said.
But this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
"Chad, this is me, Sonny Munroe, swallowing my pride, standing in front of the love of my life saying I'm sorry for what I did." I said.
"And this is me, Chad Dylan Cooper, standing in front of the love of my life saying that I forgive you and I want you back." Chad said. Did he just say that?
And I go back to December
"Really?" I asked him.
"Yeah, I go back to that day too." Chad said.
Turns out freedom aint nothing but missing you, wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.
"I realized that when I had freedom, all I did was miss you, and I wished that you never broke up with me that night." Chad said.
I'd go back to December turn around and make it alright. I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind. I go back to December all the time.
"I would go change it so we never broke up. I would go back to that day and change your mind. I go back to that day all the time." Chad said.
"No, you don't." I said. Chad looked confused. "We go back to that day, wishing that I never broke up with you." Chad smiled.
"Good." He said. I smiled.
"Good."
"Fine."
"Fine."
"Good."
"Good."
"So are we good?"
"No." I said. Chad looked confused. "We are perfect." I said, then kissed him.
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