The Photo Album
"This little soiree is going well." Emmett thought to himself as he took in the room. Emmett was well into his third drink and feeling pretty good. He had to hand it to Rosie. She knew how to throw a good party. Clients and staff mingled comfortably. The booze was flowing, the music was subtle and most importantly, no one needed him to do anything. He could just hold up the bar all night and shoot the shit with his friends. "Ah Emmett Cullen, you do have the life!" he laughed to himself. Now if he could only get the bartender to refill his scotch.
As he lifted his fingers to summon the bartender he noticed his brother trying to catch his eye. Emmett gestured for Edward to come over. "Eddie, my brother, why aren't you over here drinking with me? Bartender, another glass, please, for my brother." He gestured imperiously and slung his arm over his brother's shoulder as he finally got the guy behind the bar to leave the bottle.
"Emmett what the hell is going on with your wife?" Edward nodded in Rosalie's general direction. Emmett peered over. He could see the top of Rose's blond head bobbing to the music and a flash of red from her sequined dress. "What? She looks fine to me?" he shrugged.
"Emmett, look again. Try a little harder." Edward insisted.
"Harder." Emmett sniggered. He could see Rose leaning over to talk to someone. "What is she saying?" he wondered. Emmett shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Rose was whispering in someone's ear. Rose was whispering and laughing into a MAN'S ear! He turned to face his brother who's eyebrows were raised in a sort of glad-you-finally- got-a-clue expression. "Dude! Is Newton hitting on my wife?! I'm gonna kill that bastard!"
Edward pushed on Emmett's shoulders. "Whoa. Easy man. Your WIFE is the one with her tongue is his ear and he's a client. A good client, in case you've forgotten." Emmett's eyes shot daggers at his brother . "Are you kidding me? Client or not, asses will be kicked."
Just then Jacob Black approached (looking sexy in a dark blue suit that hugged his huge muscles) with a bemused expression on his face. "Man, what's up with Rosalie? She just grabbed my ass! Not that I'm usually opposed to that sort of shit, but your wife almost always hates me, so I'm just sayin'…" Jacob's voice trailed off as he saw the anger rolling from Emmett's tensed form.
"OK," Edward spoke as he ran his fingers thru his hair. "Bella and I will get Rose. Emmett, you get the car and we'll meet you out front. Jake, please walk with my brother to the valet." Edward shot Jacob a pleading look.
"C'mon man. Let's get your ride." Jake nudged Emmett on the shoulder toward the door. Emmett followed, reluctantly, fists clenched.
Outside, they turned toward when the sound of Rosalie's voice echoed down the hall. "What the fuck, Bella! I don't need any fresh air…Oh that's my jam…let's dance Bella baby…Ow, fuck Bells! Stop pushing me!" Rosalie stopped short when she saw Emmett and Jake standing by the valet podium. "Oh shit. Party's over." She muttered.
Emmett pulled open the car door, taking the keys from the valet, "Get in Rose. Let's go home."
"Fuck that Emmett, I'm not going anywhere. Jake, take me back inside. We'll dance the night away." Jacob walked backwards, away from Rose's reaching arms, with his hands up in a gesture of submission. "Uh, maybe not tonight Rose, but I..uh…later guys." he stuttered and walked back to the party.
"Rose, I don't know what's gotten into you, but you're embarrassing yourself and it's time to go home." He grabbed her arm roughly as he growled in her ear.
"Oh Emmett, like you give a shit about me embarrassing myself. Don't make me laugh. You haven't looked at me all night." Rose was slurring her words now and leaning into the car, drooping a bit. Emmett took advantage of the lull in her anger and swept her into the car. He gunned the engine as he pulled away, leaving the parking lot in a cloud of dust.
"Mike Newton, Rose? What the hell were you doing all over fucking Mike Newton?"
Rosalie giggled and looked at her husband, rolling her eyes. "At least Mike Newton can appreciate my tits in this dress, which is more than I can say for you!" She screeched the last part and Emmett stared at her, eyes wide. He was shocked by Rosalie. She was normally reserved and in control. In fact, he couldn't remember a time, since college, when Rose had gotten drunk and she had never made a scene in public. "What are you talking about? I told you I thought you looked great before we left the house." Emmett cried.
"No Em you told yourself that you looked 'damn fine in a suit' before hollering 'get your ass in the car, Rose' and walking out the door. I finished serving the kids dinner. I showed the babysitter where the phone numbers were. I ran around looking for extra blankies and binkies for our daughter and I put the dog out while you sat in the driveway honking the horn. You never gave me or my dress a second glance. You didn't do shit to get us out the door except wash and dress your selfish ass. Oh and answer some emails, talk some shit on the phone with Jasper and download PORN! WHAT'S THE PORN FOR EMMETT? IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME ANY TIME SOON! Not if recent memory serves!" Rosalie huffed and closed her eyes slamming her head back onto the seat.
"Shit. Not the sex shit, again." Emmett thought to himself. "Rosie, it's just a little dry spell we're going thru. Every couple goes through this, especially when they have a baby. You know I love you, Baby. Things will get going again. We just need to give it a little time." Emmett spoke softly, hoping to diffuse her anger. Hoping she was just drunk enough to let it go for one night.
Rose turned to face him, an incredulous look on her face. "Emmett, a dry spell? Have you lost your mind? Our baby is almost a year old. How long do you think it's been?" she queried.
"Uh," he stuttered, "uhm 6 months?"
"6 months? Try 19." She grunted. His eyebrows shot upwards. Nineteen months? How was it possible they hadn't had sex in over a year? "Yeah, Em, no sex, between us, in over a year. And I just can't help but wonder who you have been doing it with because you seem pretty happy for a guy whose been yanking it for a year and a half. Is it just late night porn, Emmett, or is it late night chat rooms and emails, too? Or maybe you are simply having an old fashioned affair?" she continued as tears began to stream down her face. "If you're going to leave Emmett, would you just get it over with? Because I can't take it anymore. I can't take the uncertainty and the rejection! I deserve better than this. You loved me once. Can you love me enough to just let me go?"
Emmett struggled to keep his eyes on the road. His mouth was dry and his mind was spinning. "Rose," he whispered. "Rose, of course I'm not having an affair. How could you think it? Rosie, baby, you're my wife. I would never leave you. "
"What else could I think? Half the time you're working late and the other half you're home but completely turned off to what's going on in the house. How many times have I begged you to come to bed and you refused? How many evenings have I come down after putting the kids to bed only to find you locked away in your office with your computer humming away? Can you possibly realize how bad it makes me feel? Do you realize how truly demoralizing it is to know that your husband would rather spend the night looking at naked women online than having sex with his real wife? "Rose sobbed and put her head into her hands.
Emmett felt helpless and was starting to feel angry. Pain was bubbling up from the pit of his stomach and the only way he dealt with pain was to lash out in anger. "God dammit, this wasn't his fault alone," he thought.
"Get off my fucking back! Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?" he shouted back. " You are the one who turned me down, time and again! You're the one who doesn't want ME!" Emmett growled and pounded his fists on the steering wheel. He did NOT want to have this conversation, again. He did NOT want to fight with his drunk wife and he did not want to feel this shit anymore. "FINE ROSE! FINE! Whatever the fuck you want! Just leave me the fuck alone!!!" He was gasping for breath. He could see Rose, out of the corner of his eye, gaping at him in disbelief. "Fine." he muttered and pulled into their driveway.
Hours later he sat with his head down on his desk, a glass of scotch by his side. "What the fuck happened tonight?" he wondered. "This started out as a nice little evening. How the hell did we end up screaming at each other, again? Why were we always screaming at each other?" He sighed and decided to do the only thing that gave him any relief. He reached up to turn his computer on. In a few minutes he would be distracted enough to forget about tonight and be relaxed enough to enjoy his scotch.
As the desktop opened he noticed that Rose had made a new file. "Christmas Photos" it read. Rosalie had been going through old photos to find something for their annual Christmas card. Curious, Emmett decided to see what she had put together and clicked open the file.
Dozens of files opened. Photos of their life together. The kids. The grandparents. Edward, Bella and their family. Jasper and his crazy wife. Emmett clicked on a file titled "Rosalie." The first picture took his breath away. Rosalie, cheeks pink with the cold, eyes shining, a grin on her face. Fur framed her face from the hood of her parka.
Emmett chuckled as he remembered the ski trip with her family. His room had been next door to newlyweds Jasper and Alice. The sound of their lovemaking had been impossible to ignore all weekend. It had been embarrassing and exciting and Rose finally dragged Emmett outside for some privacy of their own. Emmett had snapped the photo seconds after pressing himself up against her back and whispering, "I love you," in her ear. He sighed and remembered her cold lips growing warm against his as they kissed. "Emmett!" she gasped and then giggled when he slid his cold hands under her jacket to warm them against her bare flesh. He had been so surprised to find he did love her and shocked to realize she loved him back.
Emmett started clicking random photos. He smiled at a picture of Rosalie stepping out of the shower. "Surprise!" Rose, covered in chocolate, making him a birthday cake. In a bathing suit, posing on the beach. Rose's belly huge, full with the baby who would become their son, a secret smile on her lips. As if she knew something special now that she was a mother. Looking over the ocean from a hotel balcony, her face calm, beautiful, even in repose. His wife with a snowball in her hand and a wicked look in her eye, daring him, challenging him to do more, want more, love more. That was Rose, his own personal dynamo. He took it all. He gulped down every bit of her enthusiasm and lust for life, returning time and again to be replenished. It was the reason he had made something of himself.
Rosalie was always the one who encouraged him, pushed him and told him he could do whatever his heart was set on. It was she who helped him turn his hobby into a business, abandoning her own career, working nights and propping up his ego with a soft sigh, "Emmett, I know it's going to be great because you're great. You're wonderful." They worked, side by side, making the business a success. She was the one who convinced him they could handle a family and took care of every aspect of the children's care. "You're going to be a great daddy, Em," she told him and then gave him two perfect children. The house too. She had seen the potential and had worked so hard to make it into a stylish comfortable home. "Our haven," she had called it.
He couldn't stop smiling as he pored over the images. His wife, so beautiful, lively, completely alive. She was bodacious, resplendent. His wife was fucking resplendent! Emmett pushed back abruptly from his desk and walked to the bedroom. The light from the hallway streamed across the bed as he took in his wife's still form. Her golden hair lay across her cheek and her mouth was slightly parted as she breathed softly, deeply asleep. Emmett realized that he hadn't really looked at her in such a long, long time and so reveled in her form splayed across the bed. As he gazed across her long legs he recalled how strong they were. How good they felt wrapped around him in the heat of passion. He wondered at her slender hips and stomach where she had carried their children. How did she stay so fit? He could have kissed her gentle fingers remembering how she would brush the hair from his eyes and tell him it would be alright and then touch him with soft caresses until he slept.
"Oh God. " He thought, as a wave of anguish rocked him. "I can't lose her. It can't be over yet. I have to fix it. She deserves it. We deserve it." He hit the light switch and slid into bed beside her. For the first time in a long time he wrapped his arms around his wife and pulled her close. Unconsciously, she snuggled against him and let out a soft sigh. The delicious smell of her hair threatened to overwhelm him and tears pricked his eyes. He whispered, "I'm sorry Rosie," and finally allowed sleep to overtake him.
Rosalie Cullen awoke from the most delicious night of sleep she had experienced in months. Stretching and yawning she marveled at how she had managed to sleep an entire night without being awakened by a baby, a dog or a snoring husband. Rose suddenly bolted upright, panicked. Where are the baby, the dog and the noisy husband? She strained to hear any noise in the house. Nothing. Rose turned to check the time and saw a note taped to the clock next to a bottle of ibuprofen and a glass of juice.
Honey, I took to kids to breakfast so you could sleep in.
Drink the juice so you don't get dehydrated and take a long bath.
We're going to stop by your brother's on the way
home so take your time. The morning is yours.
~M
"No shit," Rosalie said out loud. "The fucker must feel really bad about last night." The truth was, Rosalie felt pretty bad about it, herself. She sighed and grabbed her robe, headed for the bathroom.
Rosalie pondered her situation as the tub filled around her. Last night has been a disaster, all her hard work was meaningless after the little show she had put on. She had been so angry with her husband and maybe some part of her wanted to embarrass him. It was like some pathetic cry for help. "Damn." she exhaled. "Did I really lick Mike Newton's ear? Oh god, this cannot go on any longer."
It was time to make some difficult decisions Rosalie realized. This level of turmoil was unsustainable and she couldn't take the pressure anymore. "I mean, what is the point?" Rose wondered. They were adults and would just have to face that life is too short to be so mortally unhappy. Rosalie knew one thing for sure. If her marriage was over then it was time to figure out how to be happy in a new way and create a new life for herself. If Emmett Cullen didn't realize what he had in his her then it was time to…well Rosalie didn't know exactly what it was time for, but it was about damn time to do something! How much longer could she be ignored by the only person she ever wanted to please? The more she thought about it, the more pathetic she felt. Rosalie squeezed back the tears that threatened.
"No more tears, " she demanded of herself. "That shit is all played out."
Emmett just stared at Jasper and Alice. Emmett didn't know it was possible to feel shittier until he saw the reproof in their eyes. He had brought the kids over to play and to get some sympathy for himself. Unfortunately, they had already heard all about last night from Bella and were apparently taking up sides against him. "So much for family loyalty," he thought.
Alice sat with her arms crossed and waited for her husband to speak. "What's going on Em?" Jasper reproached. "My sister doesn't just go off half cocked in public and embarrass herself like that. It sounds like the actions of a crazy woman. She must be very deeply unhappy."
Emmett took a minute to think about his response. He pictured her face in the car last night, remembering the anguish there. He exhaled and said, "Yeah, I think she is and I think it's my fault. I think it's been my fault for a long time. What do I do? I can't lose her Jas. I'm gonna lose her and I didn't even know it until last night." He laid his head on the table and began to cry.
Jasper and Alice looked taken aback. Clearly they weren't expecting Emmett to acquiesce so easily and the certainly weren't expecting this kind of depth from Emmett. Alice reached out and took his hand. Her eyes softened and she said, "Rose loves you. She has loved you for a long time. You can fix this Em. I know you can. But it's going to take more than flowers and candlelight. One night of grand gestures won't heal the hurt between you. "
They heard a crash in the other room and one of the kids started to cry. "I'll see to them, babe," Jasper rose, "You put your heads together." He gave Emmett's arm a squeeze as he walked by. "You've got to fix it Emmett. I can't have my sister and my best friend on the outs."
Alice reached out to grasp Emmett's hand, "OK Emmett, I think if you're going to do this you have to get a lot less selfish and a lot more focused on your wife. Do you want to do that? Can you remember what it was like when you met? Before the kids and the mortgage and the business took your attention from each other? What did you want for your life? What did you want?"
"I only wanted her, Alice, but is it enough? Am I enough?"
"I think it's going to have to be." Alice sighed.
Hours later, Emmett returned home with the kids. He had spent the rest of the day brainstorming with Alice and then making some important calls. He hadn't even noticed that he hadn't heard from Rosalie all day until he saw the street lights come on outside Jasper's house. He wondered, as he approached the house, what she had spent the day doing.
He put the baby in her crib and laid their son on the sofa. The house was quiet. He walked through the house calling out softly for his wife. But she wasn't there. A little nervous, he strode to their bedroom sweeping open their closet doors. He released the breath he was holding when he saw that her clothes were still hanging in the rods and her shoe racks were full. He leaned his forehead on the door jamb and took several calming breaths. "Thank god, " he whispered to himself. Still quivering inside he walked to his office to get started on winning his wife back.
Rosalie hesitated on the doorstep of the home she shared with her husband. Could she really leave it, walk away and start over?
Would her family think she was a failure; her kids? What kind of a life would she be able to build for herself, alone?
Taking a very deep breath she turned the knob. The house was dark but she could see the light from the big screen in the family room. Rose put her purse and the folder from the attorney's office on the hall table. She figured Emmett was watching TV. Not anxious to start a conversation which would assuredly not go well, Rosalie walked into the kitchen to grab a drink and something to eat.
"Rose?" Emmett called to her softly from the other room. "Hey baby, I'm glad you're home. I have so much I want to talk about; so much to tell you ." he said as he walked into the kitchen. "He looks excited," she thought, "Probably another business venture. Emmett is nothing if not industrious. Too bad he's only in it for himself."
"Emmett," she said abruptly , "I spoke with an attorney today ." He froze and she looked away from the look of shock on his face. "A divorce attorney. Look, we have a lot of things to discuss, but I don't want to fight with you. You get an lawyer and we'll set up a meet--"
Emmett rushed forward, interrupting her, his voice raw with pain, "Rosie, don't say any more. Don't speak another word until I've had my say. I just have to talk to you…and show you something…please"
Rosalie snorted and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "OK Emmett, whatever." She wanted to yell, cry, storm out. Anything but give Emmett another chance to crush her feelings or dismantle her resolve.
"Please come into the family room. I.. I have something to show you. Just look at it and then we'll talk about attorneys and meetings. Let me get through this and I'll go." he paused, "If that's what you want."
Reluctantly Rosalie followed him and took a seat on their sofa, shaking her head and fixing a skeptical look on her face. Emmett looked nervous. He grabbed the remote and turned on the stereo. "How Does it Feel?" poured out of the speakers. Rosalie groaned. "Aw Emmett, what is this? I don't have time for some game tonight. Please, just let me go to bed."
He held up his hands and said, "Just wait. Just give me a minute Rose. Wait." He hit the remote again and images appeared on the big screen. Picture after picture of Rosalie looking into the camera. Smiling, laughing, holding her babies. Images from long weekends and family vacations; their rundown college apartment. Rosalie cutting the ribbon on Emmett's first office, cheering for him at an awards dinner, painting the bedroom in their first house.
Robin Thicke crooned in the background, "I'm lost without you. Can't help myself. How does it feel, to know that I love you baby…"
Rosalie felt the tears pricking her eyes as she remembered each scene, each laughing moment and loving kiss. She pinched her eyelids, refusing to give into the emotion. The last picture was of her, smiling into the camera wearing a fur hood. The screen faded to black as the last strains of guitar died away.
Emmett stood in front of her, now. "I love all those pictures Rose. I looked at them all last night, over and over, and I recalled all the good times we've had and all the wonderful things we've done. I remembered what it was like to fall in love with you and what it was like to be in love. But there's one problem, there's one thing wrong with these pictures." He paused and Rosalie wrinkled her forehead in question. "The problem with these photos is that in each and every one you are looking at me, you're smiling at me, loving me, cherishing me. I realized that it's all wrong. It's all been about me for so long. I took all of these pictures and I never saw you and everything you've given me. You've made me the man I am and I've done nothing for you. I want new pictures Rose. Pictures of me worshipping you, adoring you, considering you; making our lives about you."
"I saw an attorney today too Rosalie. I spoke with my brother about changing our articles of incorporation and I asked the partners to arrange a buy out of my interest in the company. I've also arranged to have the house, the car, our accounts and all our assets put in your name…alone. I want you to have it all Rosie, because without you none if it has any meaning. If you want to leave, I will let you go. But maybe I can get you to consider another option. If you'll let me Rose, I want to spend the rest of my life dedicated to you. Living my life to make you happy. The money, I don't care about it. Use it. Spend it. Go back to school. Start your own business and if you run out I'll go back and make more for you.
"But, what does that mean Emmett?" she pleaded. "What are you telling me? What do you want me to do? I don't understand." She covered her face and rubbed her forehead in frustration.
"Rosalie, I have been a very bad husband. Maybe not the worst, but certainly not the best, and you deserve the best." Rosalie eyed him with a tense expression on her face. Emmett refused to be discouraged as he soldiered on. "I've made a lot of assumptions. I … found my own happiness in my work and I figured you had found yours with the kids. I thought that was the natural development of a marriage. I thought it was OK for us to be live separate lives. My brother, your brother, I thought they had their priorities messed up; that they would never get anywhere unless they spent more time at work, more time improving themselves.
"But I see now that I was wrong. Wrong in so many ways. Wrong for leaving you to make your way alone. Wrong for ignoring your needs. Wrong to stop looking at you, stop touching you….stop…wanting you." He groaned.
He could see her biting the inside of her cheek. No longer able to meet his eyes, Rose jiggled her knees up and down with nerves. He kneeled down before her, placing his palms on her knees; stilling her body.
"Rose it was wrong because I do want you. I want you so much. So much it hurts. It hurts because I know now what I've done to you. How I've marginalized you. Please Rose, please look at me." He reached up and pulled her chin towards him. She flicked her eyes to his and quickly looked away. "Rose look in my eyes so you can see what I'm saying is true. Please Rosie. Please look at me." Rose turned to face him, tears finally spilling over onto her cheeks. She was crying in earnest when he finally said it, "I love you Rose Cullen. I love you and I am in love with you. I just forgot for a while. Can you forgive me for that? Can you forgive me and love me back? Please don't leave me Rosie. Let me show you how much I want you and need you." he pleaded. As of tomorrow I own nothing, because without you I am nothing. But if I can convince you to stay I will have the only thing a man could ever want. The only thing I will want for the rest of my life, you. My beautiful, resplendent wife.
He dropped his head onto her lap.
After several long minutes Emmett realized that it wasn't going to happen, that he was, in fact, too late. His head began to spin before he even raised it. But he knew that he had to go now and leave her with some dignity, after he had stripped her of so much.
He froze when he felt her hand on the back of his head and a sob escaped his lips. "Oh Emmett" he heard her cry. "Oh god Emmett." She was on her knees in front of him. Their arms wrapped around each other as they cried together. They sobbed until their faces ached and their heads began to throb. Cries turned to whimpers and softly whispered apologies which turned into soft kisses. Kisses on her neck, her jaw, her ear. His throat, his chin, the corner of his mouth. They both gasped in surprise when their lips met; a sensation neither had felt in so long. Emmett groaned and dipped his tongue into her mouth. It felt like an electric shock snapping down his spine as he grazed her lips, her teeth and finally twirled around her soft tongue. He pulled away. He wanted her so badly, but didn't want to take advantage of her in this vulnerable state. He gazed into her eyes with an intensity that made her cheeks blush with color. He couldn't remember the last time he had made her blush. He realize how much time he had wasted and was anxious not to waste anymore.
"So what do ya say, Rosie? Will you take everything I have? Can you love a man who only comes to you with his hopes and dreams?"
Rosalie gazed back at him, her eyes dry and determined and maybe, just maybe, a little happy.
"I don't know why not," she replied. "I've done it before…"