Never in my life had I thought to do; one of those terrible 'Harry Potter' fanfiction stories, but alas I have fallen to the dark side. Busied myself too much by wondering that poisonous question (what if?)

So here goes another fanfiction that I might or might not finish.

Here are Some of the Questions the movies and books make me ask?...

Why did they have to send Harry back every summer to live with his muggle aunt, uncle and cousin when they obviously hated him, and he hated them? Surely they didn't really need to rely on the protective love magic that his mum left him. That just sounds like a lame excuse to send him back somewhere where you can continue to feel sorry for him.

Why is Hermione the only one in Hogwarts who is responsible enough to keep a device that can turn back time? Doesn't Dumbledore feel in need of it at all?

Why is Snape so hateful towards Harry Potter?... especially if he had been in love with Lily Evans, Harry's mum all that time. Even if he felt obliged to hate Harry for causing his mother's death, wouldn't he at least try, just a little bit more, … I don't know… Kindness to show him how much he cared… for Lily?

So, Harry Potter's another of Tom Riddle's Horcruxes? … wouldn't that make everyone he lives with angry and depressed, because of the fragment of Voldemort's soul that had been left behind within him?

If Dumbledore cares so much about Harry…. Why didn't, why couldn't he just adopt him? Wizarding children have to be cared for hating muggles… What?

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Harry Potter: Time Tested

Chapter 1. The End at the Beginning

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Certain things will probably deviate a great deal from the books you have read for Harry Potter. But the basic story line will be in place, just mixed up a bit more.

(Abigail Skywalker)

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He was a great wizard. He had conquered many things and won many battles and achieved plenty of victories. But he had never really been one who enjoyed standing on the side-lines watching while other people suffered, but this was to be one of those rare occasions. He remained in the doorway, shocked at the crushing truth of the scene before him.

His young, newly-saved Death Eater and now broken ex-student, Severus, was weeping, as Dumbledore had never seen him do so before, into the neck of woman in front of him, totally unaware of all else going on about him. Lily's fiery red hair was falling over his shoulder and down his back, and that was the only thing that appeared to have retained any semblance of the colour that use to come spilling out of her, out of her cheerfulness, out of her fire for life, out of her zealous pursuit of knowledge. Her face was now as white as snow, and held such a solid, pained, and yet vacant expression that one could only assume that this woman was not the real version but rather a wax copy of her. A decoy, made to look like the original.

This idea was preferable compared to the dreadful truth. Lily and James Potter, such a newly married couple, such a kind and generous duo, so forgiving, and so optimistic, had fallen victims to a prophecy, just a pathetic prophecy that might or might not have even been for their son.

He looked up then. 'Where was Harry? Did the Dark Lord get him as well?'

He walked over to the crib in the corner of the broken room, and peering into it he saw to his shock and relief a baby and his pair of vibrant green eyes blinking up at him. The baby's face was frowning, and his head was a bit red as well as if he had been competing with Severus, until a few minutes ago, over who could cry for the longest. Severus had won on that front, for the baby looked exhausted with the effort, unaware at that moment of why he should be crying, what he had just lost, looking scared but at the same time about ready to fall asleep.

Dumbledore picked up the baby boy, who instantly found the shock of touching a long grey beard strange. And being put off with disappointment of this magnitude, he found he still had energy to cry. And so Dumbledore walked into the next room to leave Severus by himself to his grief. He walked downstairs and to where James Potter lay on the ground, his eyes still wide open.

'I need to clear up here, but when to start…' He shook his head in pain and grief.

Hagrid arrived, and Dumbledore gave the baby to Hagrid to look after. Miraculously the baby seemed to instantly stop crying. It was this strange power that the half giant had over all creatures, beautiful silence and calm, to any and all the terrible cries they would normally give.

Dumbledore came back into the upstairs room after a few minutes downstairs. "Severus?" Severus was exactly where he had left him. Supporting Lily's red head on his chest, occasionally brushing the stray strands of red hair away from her face. The young man's eyes were cold and black as they looked over his shoulder accusingly, back at him. But the momentary hate was just that, and as if he could read the young man's mind, Severus's eyes flickered away from him and focused on Lily again.

"You blame me for her death?" Dumbledore said clearly.

Severus cradle her head in his arms again, and looking down on her face, he blinked away his blurring vision. "No. Not entirely." It sounded like he was speaking it through clenched teeth. He shook his head, and seemed to be getting ready to speak again. When a torn-yell broke through his lips.

"I wish I was dead!... I wish I was dead." He was shaking, with rage and himself or at Voldemort, or at himself Dumbledore would never know. "She was the one thing I never wanted to hurt, or to see broken, or to get defiled." He spoke the last words bitterly, and Dumbledore was for now somehow glad that James was not alive witnessing someone he considered to be an enemy, calling his love towards his wife a defilement, and holding onto his wife so endearingly.

"Severus…" Dumbledore started calmly.

"I've loved her for so long. I've… I've wasted my life… Haven't I?" He shook his head slowly. Dumbledore could see was going to be harder than he had first thought. Severus was obviously going through a few very deep regrets.

"Severus you need…"

"She ended up hating me you know."

"She didn't hate you …" Dumbledore tried speaking in softer tone.

"She would never have let me get this close to her while she was alive. He made her hate me! He turned her against me! IT WAS ALWAYS HIM! Making my life more Miserable was his Life's Greatest Accomplishment!" The last words were spoken with such bitterness that Dumbledore moved back from him as if he had let poison into the air.

"Severus, you give James too much credit. Lily had a very independent mind as you know…" Dumbledore paused as if waiting to be interrupted again. "… but it wasn't James that divided your relationship with her it was your choices."

Severus glared back. "He…!"

Dumbledore held up a hand to silence him. "You focused so hard on being rewarded and acknowledged for what you could do with your abilities, where you wanted to go, what you could be. You never stopped to ask the question why. There were many choices you could have made Severus, and you chose to befriend other students that were delving into dark magic, you should have known that you could not have forced her to like you by becoming more powerful."

Severus face crumbled again, and his shoulders bent with shame, his rage and grief were overpowering, and despite trying to hold himself in check Dumbledore found streams of unbidden tears running down his face. 'Life was unfair to the brave, to the cruel, and to the cautious; we all of us are to suffer the consequences of death. Just a few months ago, Severus had been fine with murder and pain that he had been inflicting on others, but when it came to a person he deeply cared for, he finally was able to wake up, and decided it was wrong.'

Severus appeared to try and swallow his grief again only for it to immediately affect his shoulders and cause them to start shaking. He pulled her tighter towards himself, refusing the cold reality that death had brought to her body and the Forbidden curses' true strength.

Hagrid much to Severus's annoyance came up the stairs with the baby in his arms. He began talking about having seen Sirius Black.

Severus had soon broken out of the entrapment of pain and looked ready for revenge. "He was the one wasn't he?"

Dumbledore looked torn. He couldn't believe it himself. "I think I did hear James saying he wanted Sirius as his keeper…"

Severus stood up, and exchanged glances with Dumbledore. "I shall come with you." Dumbledore said clearly. And they both spirited themselves away to find a trace of the man who should have been with, or at least protecting the young family. Dumbledore seemed unable to get another word out of newly-dead, Death Eater.

A day or so later when Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew had been found in an over-populated muggle area, the news spread like wide fire among the wizarding world, that the young Harry Potter had somehow survived the unforgiveable killing curse, that it had somehow rebounded off him and onto the deliver, leaving nothing but a scar on his forehead. And the god-father of a young Harry Potter, had been driven mad by the dark lord and forced to reveal the location of the young family, and then was driven to kill another friend who had apparently found out the truth.

To late it seems for so many things, but somehow, somewhere along the way, a miracle had happened, and the dark Lord was no more. It was mystery. That the child had survived at all.

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Now, if conversing with a hesitant ex-Death Eater had been hard before, it most certainly was now. It took some time to speak to the grief-stricken man. He blamed himself for everything, and neglected to look after himself as if it was his penance, and glared at anyone and everyone who offered him any hope or relief. He was certain he had not earned it. He couldn't or wouldn't obtain it. He would not be grateful for their kindness, it was only so deep.

Once, a few names were called out by a witness concerning certain Death Eaters, and Severus's name was called out, and a hearing was called to. Dumbledore spoke up for the hollowed out shell, proclaiming the man's faithfulness, and turning from the dark lord.

Severus proclaimed how grateful he was with his protection and for his belief in him, and that it was more than he deserved, but that was as far as it got.

But try as he might with the young man, he could never get back that same shy, sometimes relaxed smile that had once or twice transformed his face in those early first years that he had spent at school. The time when he had still been on talking terms with his young childhood friend.

He got thank you's and immediate obedience, as if somehow Severus had now decided that he owed his old headmaster a life debt.

Hoping that being around children might in fact bring back more life in his eyes Dumbledore offered Severus a job as a Librarian at his school. Severus was good in the job. His ability to retain information was valuable, but he was not a people pleaser. And very soon Albus realized how bitter Severus had turned out to be, finding enjoyment in inflicting punishment, and retaughting slightly offensive comments with his - soon to become famous – cutting, sarcastic remarks that could make some of the toughest of his students cry.

Still, Albus Dumbledore did not want to see Severus waste away, and despite what Severus told him from time to time, that he didn't care about what happened to him, and that Dumbledore was just wasting his time, Dumbledore just knew that was a mask in place to cover up that deeper hurt. In Severus's mind he had nothing to live for.

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End of Chapter one.

So, that was dismal. Tell me what you think.