Author's Note: For the purposes of this story, all the events up to the end of Eclipse happened, however, in this story, Edward and Bella are still in their senior year. This will make more sense when you finish reading.
Whispers of Passion in the Wind
Papers are strewn across the living room floor, eraser shavings accumulate in small piles, and Bella is only on number two of ten of her calculus homework.
She sits cross-legged on the floor, leaning forward with her left hand cupping her chin. The dreaded calculus book is opened in front of her, and she is reading the problems, but they just look like a bunch of letters with the occasional number (she wonders why it isn't the other way around) to her. She is really trying to concentrate, but her eyes keep wandering to the window in front of her. It's a cold January evening—twenty-five degrees Fahrenheit according to the thermometer on the front porch—and for the past two hours, it has been flurrying.
The snow is just now starting to pick up, and she can see it sticking to the ground. She doesn't want to start to hope in fear of disappointment, but she can't help it. It is seven o'clock on Thursday, and a three day weekend where she could procrastinate this calculus even more sounds pretty good to her. She wants a snow day.
"Have you found the answer to number two outside yet?" Edward asks from beside her.
She is startled out of her thoughts, not previously realizing the extent of her daydreaming. She turns to look at Edward and sees him smirking at her.
"Don't tease me, this homework is hard and boring. Sorry we're not all super smart." It comes out harsher than she originally intended it to, but the fact that he seems to be better than her at everything can get her pretty annoyed at times. Of course, Edward finished all his homework while she was still working on her first assignment, and he even wrote at the same pace that a human would, due to her insistence.
"Hey," he says, his voice immediately softening. He puts his arm around her shoulders and hugs her close to his body. "Whether or not you can do ten calculus problems has nothing to do with the level of your intelligence. You're brilliant."
She scoffs at his statement. She knows she isn't stupid, but brilliant isn't a word she'd ever use to describe herself. That's something she reserves for describing him.
"Don't scoff at me. You are. It's unfair to compare yourself to me, because by nature our minds work so differently, not to mention I've had ninety-odd more years than you to learn." He says this lowly so Charlie is unable to overhear from his spot in the kitchen. He is wary enough about Edward, no need to add fuel to the fire. "You don't overcomplicate things, and you are able to comprehend things many human minds cannot."
She rolls her eyes, done with that argument. "Okay then, let me rephrase. Sorry we can't all be as amazing at calculus as you are."
"If calculus is what you aren't good at, then you're not missing out. When... when you have eternity and you do all these meaningless activities, you'll find your niche. It will probably surprise you, too."
"Yeah?"
He nods, and then smiles. "Emmett is exceptionally good at pottery. And you know about Rosalie's love for fixing cars."
She laughs. "I can't imagine him doing that. What about you? What are you exceptionally good at? Aside from all the things I already know about."
"Calculus. Now come on, let's get this homework done."
She groans. "You killed the moment."
They're able to get through two more problems before Bella begins to daydream again. Her eyes are drawn back to the window, where she sees that there is now a layer of snow covering the ground. It has to be at least half an inch high by now, and it's still coming down strong, maybe even more than before. Her eyes brighten.
"Edward," she says slowly, excitedly.
He quirks an eyebrow, seemingly amused.
"Look out the window."
He does so, smirks, and then looks back at her. "I thought you hated the snow," he teases.
Normally, she would narrow her eyes at him, or come up with a witty comeback. She's too excited for that now though, so instead she says, "I hate the pointless snow. There is a difference. This snow is far from pointless, because if it keeps going as it is now, there could be a snow day tomorrow, and then I won't have to do this calc homework. How could anyone hate that?"
"You're still going to have to do it, you just won't have to do it this very second."
She shushes him. "Don't ruin it for me."
Her eyes go back and forth between the window and her notebook. She really does not want to do the homework, and the possibility that she won't have school tomorrow is looking pretty good at the moment. However, she doesn't want to risk not doing the work, and then having to go to school. Sometimes she wishes she cared less about her schoolwork.
As she's pondering this, she hears Edward's cell phone vibrate. He has it at his ear right as she realizes someone is calling.
He doesn't say hello or give any other type of greeting. That is her first clue that Alice is the one calling. He simply listens for a moment, quirks an eyebrow, looks at her, and then hands her the phone.
"It's for you." She can tell he's holding back an eye roll.
She looks at him questioningly, but takes the phone and says, "Hello?"
"Don't set your alarm tomorrow," Alice tells her. She was right on two counts, the snow day and the fact that it was Alice on the other line.
In her excitement, she jumps up onto her feet, but quickly loses her balance and trips a little. Edward grabs her waist from his place on the floor to steady her, which causes her to give him a dirty look.
"I wasn't really going to fall," she mutters under her breath.
"Yes, you were," Alice chimes in.
"Shut up," she retorts.
"What a nice way to thank the person bearing good news."
No longer distracted by her almost-fall, she remembers why she was previously excited. "Wait, so we're having a snow day. Definitely? You saw it?"
Alice laughs. "Yes, to all three."
Bella almost squeals, which is truly saying something, because Bella does not squeal. Instead, she hops around in place a little, doing the closest thing to a happy dance that she ever will.
"Alice, you're the best."
"I know. No, Edward, that won't end well, you should know that. Yes, okay, that's better."
She is confused for a second, but then she realizes only the first sentence is intended for her. Of course, Edward can hear everything Alice says without needing the phone pressed against his ear.
"Thank you, Alice," Edward says condescendingly.
"You would be really thanking me if you saw what I saw. Bye, Bella!"
Before Bella could respond, Alice hung up.
She blinks a few times. "I wonder how severe her ADHD was as a human." With the million things happening at once and her excitement over tomorrow's snow day, Bella quickly forgets that she was curious about what Alice told Edward.
Edward laughs. "Very severe, I would assume."
---
Bella decides to shower while Edward makes a show of leaving for the night. This is their routine, even though Bella is technically an adult. She stills lives under his roof, and feels bad enough about deceiving him all the time. Hours later, when Charlie is in bed and Bella's eyes are getting droopy from reading, Edward silently climbs through her window. Even in the freezing cold, she leaves it open for him.
"I was beginning to wonder if you were coming back." She scoots over on the bed so he has some room to lie down. It's cramped, but she likes it that way. She's happy her bed is so small; it provides ample opportunity for cuddling. As nice as his larger bed is, she prefers hers.
He puts his arm around her shoulders, pulling her gently against his side. "Of course I was coming back. You know I always will. Charlie was restless tonight."
"Good, because I can't sleep without you."
"Well, I can't sleep at all, so I think I win."
She thinks about joking back, but decides to take a more serious route instead. "Soon, I won't be able to either." She used to hate bringing things like that up in conversation because it led to them fighting, but now she knows she needs to somewhat make light of it if they're ever going to feel comfortable talking about it.
There is a long pause. She begins to wonder if he plans on responding at all. Just as she is about to work up the courage to look at his face, he murmurs, "and then we'll both win."
---
She wakes in the morning to a very bright light. Even behind closed eyelids, she can tell it is much brighter than normal. It isn't the standard morning in Forks, with the sun muted by the clouds, but instead, the sky is almost clear. It hurts her eyes when she opens them at first, and she has to gradually go from squinting to having them wide open, but in the end she is happy.
He is there, just like every other morning, smiling at her as she stretches out on the bed. She sees the same book she is reading on the floor where she heard him toss it. At night, while she's sleeping, he's taken to reading whatever book currently has her captivated, though he's read most of them before many times. When she asked him about it, he told her it was because he likes to share things with her, and reading it along with her is like reading it anew.
He kisses her forehead and goes downstairs. It has always been understood that she is more comfortable having some privacy in the morning, and she is grateful for this. She's not uncomfortable with him, of course, but she prefers a bit of privacy, even if it is contrived, when dealing with mundane human needs.
Once she finishes her morning routine, she heads downstairs, excited to spend the day with him.
"You look chipper this morning," he comments as she fixes herself a bowl of cereal.
She shrugs. "No school, I get to spend the day with you, what's not to be happy about?"
"I was under the impression that you despised the snow."
"Well, I do, I mean I guess I do."
He nods, and if she didn't know him so well she probably wouldn't be able to see the disappointment on his face. She doesn't know why it's there, but she knows she has to make it go away. It's a need inside her that overrides anything else.
"I should say, I guess I did. You know, I used to say I hated anything cold, but I've come to realize that cold things can be the absolute best."
He smirks. "Really, now?"
"Definitely."
"So, you wouldn't mind spending part of the day outside, then?"
She holds up one finger. "Let me think for a sec."
She's learned that works best. He can be extraordinarily impatient when he wanted to, especially when it came to her thoughts. It doesn't help that he naturally can process things much more quickly than she can.
She realizes this is why he looked disappointed. He has some plans, as he always does, and it involves the snow. He would never make her do something she didn't want to do, so if she hates the snow, he won't go through with his plans. She knows this. She also knows that he wants this, he wants to share whatever his plans are with her. She's let him down so many times in the past, and she can't bear to do it again, even over something small.
"No, I wouldn't mind spending part of the day outside with you." She tacks on the last part to let him know that she's doing this for him. "What did you have in mind?"
His beauty is brought out full force when he smiles, one side of his mouth going just a bit higher than the other side, and this is already worth it for her.
"Well, I was going to surprise you..."
She gives him a look to convey exactly what she thinks of that idea.
"...but since you're being such a good sport about this, I guess I'll tell you." He pauses for emphasis. "There's a nice hill right by my house—very open and not too steep—I was thinking we could go sledding?"
She raises both eyebrows; she was definitely not expecting that. "You want to go sledding?"
He dodges the question. "Have you ever been?"
"Oh yeah, we always went sledding in the desert."
He rolls his eyes. "I'll take that as a no."
"This is my first snow day," she admits, finishing the last of her cereal.
"We'll make it memorable. I think you'll enjoy sledding."
---
Half an hour later, they were pulling up to the Cullen mansion. Bella couldn't see any signs of activity, but that didn't mean the house was empty.
"We have to walk a bit, I'm going to carry you but I won't run fast, because I don't want the wind to make you cold."
She doesn't think that is possible. He made sure she had plenty of things keeping her warm before they left her house. Under armor, corduroys, a long-sleeved shirt, a sweater, a heavy winter jacket, a pair of knee-high heating socks, boots, a hat that covered her ears, a scarf, and gloves with hand warmers inside. She knew he was over the top ridiculous, but she found it completely endearing at the same time. He is protective of her, but she knows he does it because he loves her. If the cold affected him at all, she'd probably be insisting that he do the same.
The five minute walk isn't bad, but she knows it would have looked hilarious had there been someone watching. She is on his back as per usual, but in his hands he's holding two sleds—one blue and one green. He isn't running at his normal speed, but for a human it would be sprinting. Bella is sure that it would look like much more than one man could handle.
She gets off his back when they reach the hill, and she's surprised she doesn't fall with all the layers weighing her down. He sets down the two sleds and then turns to her. "Nice view, right?"
And it is. He was right when he said it was clear—the only trees she could see were far off on the mountains. The snow made a thick white blanket on the ground, perfectly undisturbed. The morning sky was clear and bright.
"Very nice," she confirms, and then looks down at the sleds. "You don't expect me to go on one of those by myself, do you? I'll wind up dying, knowing me."
"I was planning on going on with you the first time, and then seeing what happens from there."
She agrees, and they get themselves situated on the green sled, with Edward getting in first and then Bella sitting on his lap.
"Ready?" he asks, his mouth near her ear. Through the material of her hat, she can't feel the coolness of his breath, but she knows if she could she would be shivering for reasons unrelated to the temperature.
"Um..." she hesitates. Now that she looks at it, the hill seems much steeper, and those trees don't like quite so far away.
He notices her nervousness. "Don't you trust me, love?"
"Well, yes, of course, but I mean..." she trails off. He gives her time to gather her thoughts.
She trusts him with everything, she knows he would never let anything happen to her, if he could help it. She's put her life in his hands many times—everyday, really—and she's still here. If anything were to happen, like the sled crashing, she knows with his speed and strength, he could easily protect her from getting hurt, and probably even prevent the whole thing in the first place. She recognizes that this fear is just because of the anticipation, and that she will really be fine.
She takes a deep breath. "Okay, I'm ready."
It seems as if the second she says it, they're gliding down the hill. Maybe not gliding—it is bumpier than she expected. It is also faster than she expected, though the speed doesn't scare her. It's nowhere near the speed of a motorcycle, let alone a vampire running. But the air is bitter and it is shocking against the little bit of her skin that is exposed.
She finds herself involuntarily smiling, and as they turn a bit, she lets out a squeal. She enjoys the feeling of adrenaline rushing through her veins.
When they get to the bottom of the hill Edward stands up with her in his arms, and then sets her down on the ground.
"So?" he asks. His eyes are full of life, and she can see how excited he is. Due to him not needing a hat, his hair is windblown. She can't resist reaching up to smooth it into place, though it goes back to being a mess as soon as she moves her hands away. She knows this will happen, yet she does it anyway.
"Don't act like you don't know," she teases. "It was a lot of fun. I liked it."
He smile impossibly widens.
"Be careful, that smile's gonna break off your face."
He grabs a hold of her and pulls her into his body. He made sure to wear extra layers as well for this very reason. "You make me happy. I love being able to share these things with you."
She tilts her face up and kisses his bottom lip, and then his top, and then both of them once more for good measure.
"I always imagined what a snow day would be like."
"Is it bearing any resemblance to today?"
She nods. "I never really had a best friend, but I always imagined that I would spend a snow day with one."
"Alice isn't here," he jokes.
"I love Alice, but you have to know you're my best friend, Edward."
He kisses the tip of her nose. "And you're mine. You always will be."
She knows deep in her heart that his words are more than two friends promising to keep in touch, but instead they're the vow of a man who cannot live without a woman, and will do what is in his power to keep her with him. She also knows, if the situation between them was reversed, she would do the same exact thing.
Getting back to the top of the hill is much easier when a vampire is in tow. She is grateful for that, not wanting to imagine how awful it would be to actually have to climb up it. She would probably fall down a million times before reaching the top. They slide down it a couple more times before Edward suggests them taking separate sleds.
"Why?" Bella wonders. She doesn't understand why he would want to willingly separate them.
"Why not? I'll be right beside you, I'll even hold your hand. But I know you don't need to lean on me the entire time."
She eventually agrees, and they each go down on their own sled. She goes faster than she did when she was on the sled with Edward, which is exciting to her in a way. With all the times she's been on Edward's back while he's ran, and all the times she's gone on her own motorcycle, and not to mention being in a car while a vampire is driving, she's learned to love speed, too. And it isn't as scary as she thought it would be with Edward by her side.
She's beginning to get worn out, and despite all the layers, the cold air is getting to her. When he sees that the pink on her face isn't disappearing after the anticipation of going down the hill is gone, he suggests it's time to head back to the house.
"Your house or mine?" she asks.
"It's up to you. Everyone is out hunting and enjoying the snow, so both options are available to us. Which would you prefer?"
She shrugs. "It doesn't really make a difference if we'll be alone and together either way."
"My house it is then. It's closer."
They travel to the Cullen mansion in the same fashion they traveled to the hill—Bella on Edward's back while he carries the two sleds.
"We're going to get snow all over the floor," she worries as he sets her down after they go through the front door. She doesn't want one of the Cullens to have to clean up after them. They already do enough for her. She appreciate them all more than she could ever express.
"Don't worry about it, just take your boots off."
He has his own boots and jacket off before she is able to get off her second glove. He kneels down, taking her by surprise, and starts pulling off her boots. She has to use the wall as support to prevent herself from falling. When he stands back up straight, she can tell he's holding back a smile. He begins to slowly unzip her jacket, slower than a normal human's pace, and she decides it's time to try to find her voice.
"Why... you know I can do this by myself, right?"
"Of course," he responds, smiling.
"So why are you doing it?"
"Because I like to."
She opens her mouth to question him further, but then thinks better of it. If that's what makes him happy, then she can deal with it.
Once she's down to only two layers, he picks her up and carries her upstairs to his room. It's an extra trip for him because he's just going to go back downstairs to give her privacy, but he doesn't want her to have to walk all the way up to the third floor and back on her own. She smiles at him when he sets her down to let him know that she appreciates it. It's something she's learned over the time they've been together—show appreciation for the little things.
When she's changed into more comfortable clothes, she calls for him and he's there in an instant. A couple of months ago she would have walked down the stairs on her own to be rebellious, but now she relishes in the brightness in his eyes when he's carrying her. She's realized that she's happiest when he's happy, so letting him indulge in such minor things like this have become easy. She's pretty sure that even when she becomes a vampire, and tripping hopefully won't happen so often (she says hopefully because she knows if any vampire in the world ever were to trip, it would most definitely be her), he will still most likely want to carry her down the stairs. She thinks she's okay with that.
He sets her down on the couch and then quickly disappears out of the room, reappearing more slowly with a steaming mug in his hands.
"Hot chocolate," he tells her, sitting down next to her and handing her the mug.
"You made this?" she asks, looking in the cup and then at him. It even has those mini marshmallows floating around on top. She can't remember the last time she had a cup of hot chocolate.
He nods. "I called Esme while you were asleep and asked her to stock up on hot chocolate for us."
She smiles and scoots over closer to him, leaning against his side while she carefully takes a small sip from the mug. "Thank you. It's great."
He puts his arm over her shoulders while they sit in silence for a few minutes. She takes small sips from her drink—still too hot for her to gulp down, though she realizes that is the point. It's something to be savored.
"Are you enjoying your first snow day?"
"It's everything I wanted and more," she jokes.
He laughs with her, but she can tell he's still wanting a real answer.
"Yes, of course I am. You truly have made it great."
He kisses the top of her head and murmurs softly, "It's practically my first snow day as well, at least, it's the first to count. I've never been able to share this with anyone in the past."
Her heart feels very heavy, just like it does every time she's reminded of Edward's many, many years alone. "What about the others? You had them, right?" She's trying to find something to make it seem like he wasn't so lonely, just for her own mental peace. It kills her to think of him by himself all that time.
"Yes, but you know it isn't the same. I love them, but they're not my best friend, my mate, my fiancée. They're not you."
She's learned not to cringe at the mention of their upcoming and inevitable marriage anymore. She may not think it's necessary, but it means something to him.
"I just love being able to share these things with you," he adds.
"I love it, too. We can share everything with each other, from now until forever."
He laughs softly under his breath—it's an incredulous, unbelieving kind of laugh.
"What?" she questions.
"I'm just very lucky is all."
She scoffs.
"It's true. Imagine it: a vampire—a bloodsucking monster—eternally seventeen and alone for approximately a century. Then one day in an inconsequential Biology class, in walks everything. His mate, il suo cantante, the one exception to his talent..." he trails off there, before speaking the rest with conviction, "and most importantly, the love of his life."
"I always kind of wondered if it would be different if I were just average in those ways. If you could read my mind and my blood smelled like any other human's," she admits.
"Well, I certainly would have a little more mental sanity," he jokes, trying to lighten the mood, something relatively unlike him. It gets her to crack a smile, but only serves to worry her further, as she feels he's dodging the question. "Things would obviously be different, Bella, but not in the way you're thinking. The journey would have changed, but the end result would remain the same. Can you truly see a world that doesn't have us together?"
"Well, no..."
"Exactly."
"This is so unlike you," she says. "You're usually doubting everything. What changed?"
"I've finally accepted the fact that we're simply fated for each other. I refuse to live without you, and strangely enough, you refuse to live without me, too."
She likes this explanation, but knows there's more to it. There are things, however, that she doesn't want to bring up in fear of him changing his mind. She knows it's ridiculous, because he wouldn't be telling her this without thinking through every little thing, but she is unable to help it. "W-what about, um, my soul and stuff?" But before he can respond, she quickly adds, "not that I think I'm going to lose my soul or anything. I know you have a soul, I see it every time you look at me. But well, I know it's something that was bothering you, and you never listened to me when I tried to argue with you so I'm wondering what happened."
His slight hesitation worries her. "I'm selfish, Bella." She tried to interrupt, to protest, but he doesn't let her. "Let me finish, please. I am selfish, and we've gone over that a million times. But now, instead of being selfish and making us both miserable, I've decided to at least try to make you happy. I know there has to be a God, because someone up there made you so perfect and pure, and maybe it was a test to tempt me, and I obviously failed that, but no God could ever take away your soul."
He's shared this belief with her before, at least partially, so she knows exactly what to say. "Along the same lines of thinking though, have you ever thought that maybe, if God really did create me, it was for you. Again, back to fate, maybe there was a reason you were Carlisle's patient that day, a reason your mother was perceptive enough to know to ask Carlisle specifically to save you. You had your dark time period, yes, but you've reformed and given back. Did you ever think, maybe God was saving you for me, and rewarding you with me?"
"I don't look at you as a prize, Bella. That's demeaning to you."
"I don't mean it like that. Just that he made us for each other, and had a plan the whole time on how it would all work out. You know, as terrible as the time you left was, the encounters with sadistic vampires, everything we've been through, I think they were necessary to get us to where we are."
"Maybe you're right. We'll never really know."
She nods. "So I guess we can stop worrying about it, then."
He smiles and leans in to kiss her softly. "I guess so."
She takes another sip of her hot chocolate. She forgot about it in the midst of their conversation, but it's still warm enough to be enjoyable. When she finishes it, she sets down the mug and curls up even more on Edward's lap. Despite the stone-like feel of his body, she has never been more comfortable. He fully wraps his arms around her, and they sit together, surrounded in bliss.