Written in: 2010 ; Translated: 2013

Back to the roots :D One Piece!

...

Forgive me

-white wings –

Dark thunder rumbles far away at the horizon and lightning streaks over the cloudy sky. The glaring light distorts the colours of this surreal moment even more. The black of the night changes to a creepy grey until a few seconds later it darkens again. Like never something happened.

I can still hear your scream. This bloodcurdling scream which rushes over this lonely island. I can still see your face. A pale face contorted with pain and countless splashes of a red liquid. I can see the desperate faces of the others. Hear them calling a name. Watch them as they look unbelieving at the situation before them. Helpless, frightened, tear-stained.

The rain drenched their clothes and slowly mingled with the blood of their wounds until it bog down in the soft, sandy ground.

I can see this moment again and again. These few seconds are changing the life of so many people. People that I love so much.

How could this peaceful day end in that way? The harmonic mood during the breakfast and the cheering when we discovered this island are nothing more than a distant memory which seemed so surreal in this moment.

I'm desperately closing my eyes; don't want to see your face anymore. Those eyes, mirroring pure panic. That showing a not bearable pain.

I don't want to see this expression anymore. Don't want to feel this desperation again. I never want to experience this moment again…

But those pictures don't want to vanish. No matter how hard I try. Not matter how much I wish to just see this deep black of my closed eye-lids. Don't want to hear these screams.

But it doesn't matter. Fragments of these moments are still dancing before my eyes, playing again and again. Luffy, who lies bleeding on the floor, groaning in pain. Zorro, wearing a deep, bleeding sword-cut on his chest. Chopper, looking panicky on Lysopps wounds. And those black man, which are the cause of this bloodshed.

A group of pirates, that thought, they could mess with the strawhat pirates. They thought of being able to defeat us through a sneak attack. Pirates who simply didn't want to give up...

And then everything goes quite quickly. And yet I see it like in slow motion in front of me:

One shot, cries, the clatter of two swords that hit another, a flash across the sky and the blood, which spread silently in the sand.

I open my eyes again. The pictures I have just seen, are changing now.

Thousands of raindrops patter down on the formerly white sand. A red liquid covered the sandy beach. Black dressed Men lie motionless on the floor and flashes of light reflected in her lifeless eyes...

But my real attention focused on a totally different scene. My friends are a few feet in front of me, clustering around something circular. Their attention is directed to the object in front of them.

Because of the darkness I can't see their faces. Nevertheless, I know exactly what I would see there...

Slowly my leaden legs start moving. However, I will stop after a few steps. I'm just not able to go to them. Don't want my guess to be confirmed. To see their tears…

For the first time my gaze falls on the object, the others are looking for an eternity already. It seems to be a normal blanket, but something makes me cringe at the pure sight. Dark spots interrupting the white of the wool and run through the rain-soaked cloth.

I can't bear it any longer! Don't want to see those images! I don't want to know who is lying under this blanket! I can't stand how the others are suffering because of that… They should be happy ... That's all I've ever wanted...

I overcome my fear. Go closer to the white cloth. Sneak silently past Brook, Franky and Chopper, until I stand at the head of the blanket. The looks of my friends are facing on the ground. The rain drips from their hair, their clothes. However, in spite of the water I realize them: the tears.

Robin touches her head; suffering. Sanji covers his eyes with his blond hair. Chopper, Lysopp, Brook and Franky don't even try to hide their tears and even Zorro eyes are glistening in the light of the blazing lightning.

A twinge in my heart. How could it only go so far? Why had it end this way?

I lower my gaze. See the person who sits in front of me. Whose hand rests on top of the white blanket. There is something I must say this person. But I know that it is impossible at the moment.

I'm stretching out my arm and put my hand on his shoulder. A twitch goes through his body and the head turns in my direction. His eyes gazed right at me and yet they don't see me. But I see him. Tears run incessantly from his reddened eyes and mingle with the blood on his cheeks. The sight breaks my heart. I've never seen him suffer that much. He has never been so unhappy...

I want to cry, want to let my tears flow, but I can't. Not a single tear. I'm feeling empty. The pain has left nothing but numbness. A cold numbness that paralyzes my body.

With a disappointed facial expression, the person turns away from me, and is looking at the white blanket again.

Slowly the first sunrays pushing through the clouds at the horizon. The day is breaking. No matter how dark and rainy the night was, a new day always begins.

And my friends have to understand that.

A horrible pain flashed through my back, which makes my body tense up. A muffled cry breaks from my mouth and I feel a warm liquid on my shoulders until, seconds later, it disappears. I feel an extra weight on my back, and understand from the corners of her eyes why.

It's time for me to go.

One last time I bend down to the person in front of me. Put my hands on his red jacket, so that they barely touch it and move my head from behind next to his. A smile spreads across my face as I whisper the words in his ear, which seem so important to me at this moment.

"Luffy. Don't grieve any longer. It's not your fault. Follow your dream further. I'm waiting for you, pirate king. And don't you dare see me again, if you haven't reached your goal, you understand? I love you. And I'll always be with you."

Slowly I lose the ground under my feet. My wings spread out and my body is getting lighter.

I see how Luffy's body is twitching again and he stands up abruptly.

"Nami?" His voice sounds quiet and scratchy. I smile. He heard me! He feels me! At least that is what I want to believe.

My body rises higher and higher, moving further away from the Earth. I don't have much time anymore.

"Don't mourn over me. I regret nothing of what I have done. After all, I was able to protect my friends."

A jolt goes through the present and they look up all at the same time. Their faces show confusion. I'm smiling.

"Did you hear that?" It is Lysopp who asks. "Wasn't that ...!"

I'm laughing. I'm so happy at this moment. They can hear me! I can tell them one last time what lies on my heart.

"Nami?" Again Luffy says my name and my smile is getting wider. Thank you...

"My friends. Please! Continue to live your life! Realize your dreams! For this I also have fought! We'll meet again, I promise! But please do me a favor: Don't come and see me before you fulfilled your dreams! Because only then I can say: My life was worth something."

They close their eyes. Listening to my words that the wind whispers to them. A final gesture to take their pain and give them hope.

"Don't worry. I don't go away. I will help you continue to sail the seas. Fear no storm, no reefs. I'll be there and navigate the ship. Like I've always done."

Now is the time. Finally tears come to my eyes, but the smile doesn't want to vanish.

"I have to go now. Guys, I love you. I am waiting for you!

Pirate King.

Best swordsman in the world.

Cook, who has found the All Blue.

Brave warrior and marksman.

Doctor, who invented the perfect medicine.

Archaeologist, which found the Rio Porneglyph.

Ship's carpenter, who build the best ship that sailed around the world.

And the musician, who was finally able to play his beloved song to his best friend again.

Don't forget me…"

White wings are sparkling in the first light of the rising sun.

Soft feathers float against the receding earth. I pray that they bring them hope. That they help them to understand my words. To help them realize their dreams.

I'll wait for it. And it doesn't matter how long it would take...