Tri Abridged
Episode 1
WTF, Man
?: In the beginning, there was the creator… blah blah blah some philosophical concept none of you get blah de de blah blah de bleah.
In the background, the corrupted digi-egg then appears. It then disappears a few seconds later.
Alarm: This is Neo fucking Saiba. You have to the count of three to get the fuck up and face me-
Tai puts the alarm into sleep mode, ready for a few more minutes of sleep.
Tai: Man, these telemarketers truly don't know when to stop calling.
We then cut to a totally boring shot of a bridge. This time though, an alkonost has started to make it's nest near the top. Following that, we get shown a shot of a train, along with some cars.
We then cut back to Tai, only for the first flash to occur.
Davis: The denouement for us finally came. In a way, this will work for our happy end.
Davis falls to the ground, a smile frozen on his face.
We then return to the present, where Kari is currently at the door to Tai's room. For some reason, she is holding a knife behind her back.
Kari: Taichi-senpai, notice me!
She then knocks on the door, only to get no response.
Kari: Taichi-senpai, I'm going to kill you!
Still, no response. Strangely, we refocus on Tai as the second flash occurs.
Yolei: Wasted potential. At the very least, I still have my arm.
Yolei falls to the ground, finding herself in some sort mythical euphoria of despair.
Following that, an adarnamon chews on some fried hawkmon along with a recently killed seagull.
Kari: Tai, if you don't open this door right now…
She slams her knife into the 'barricade', proceeding to smash the door into pieces.
Tai: Can I just have five more minutes, please?
Kari then pulls his covers off, still brandishing her knife.
Kari: Do you want to die, Taichi-senpai?
Tai: Uh... No.
Before Kari could answer, the third flash occurs.
Cody: Well, I got not nothing.
He then fell to the ground, with a couple of nonexistent fangirls swooning over him.
We then return once again to the real world, with Tai grabbing his digivice and another flash occurring right after.
Ken: Dear Viewers, can someone please explain to me what the fuck is going on?
Unlike the other dead people, all that was shown was his D-3.
Once again, we return back to Tai.
Tai: Let's get the plot going, I guess.
Kari: Sounds like a wonderful, totally safe idea, Taichi-senpai.
We then cut to a shot of Ken's D-3, which is quite a distance away. Strangely, the camera pans up to the sky, only to suddenly focus on Alphamon. Strangely, the royal knight is just standing there, looking like a complete idiot.
Alphamon: Let's dance.
He then performed Darunia's dance, with 'Saria's Song' playing in the background.
We finally return back to Tai, only for a montage of shots with no importance to the plot at all go by. Strangely, this leads us to a soccer team practicing.
Then the hallway to a computer lab appears, only to return back to the soccer team.
Here, we find Tai taking a nice long swig of liquid courage.
Tai: hskfh ki vjv,ridsjfljrvgo;dlr jdgtl rfsdfdfsdf…
The digidestined of courage then blacks out. When he awakes, a red sky hangs over him. Along with that, a familiar black haired girl dressed in a purple lolita outfit stood over him.
Tai: Kari, is that you?
The girl only laughs.
Girl #1: My friend, this all I can do for you at the moment. Hopefully, you'll still remember me...
The girl then faded away, leaving Tai more confused than before. Strangely, the rest of the team now consisted of corpses.
We then move towards the school, where were shown a shot of a staircase. The only thing of note, is the first appearance of Daigo.
Daigo: So, wanna fuck?
Girl #2: Sounds wonderful!
Following that, were shown a variety of shots of different areas within the school. Only to cut to Sora holding a slip of paper.
Sora: Master Yamato, are you sure this amount is correct?
Matt: Yes, you stupid clone.
As the chosen of "friendship" says that, Tai walks up to them.
Tai: Oh.
Daigo then shows up, placing his hand on Tai.
Daigo: Did you bring it?
Tai looked at the guidance counselor, sighing.
Tai: No.
Daigo: You're the last one I haven't been involved with sexually. As such, come to my office during lunch time.
Tai: Sure…
Daigo walks away, only for Sora to walk up.
Sora: Fuck me, pheasant. I'm the closest thing you're getting to the real thing.
Tai: Uh… no.
Sora: Why not?
Tai: Because I said so?
Sora: Oh well.
Matt then walks away.
Matt: Come on, my pretty little slave.
Sora and Tai then follow him for some reason.
We then cut away to a couple of shots of the city. Then, back to Tai and Matt at a table.
Matt: Wanna to come to my concert/group orgy this Sunday?
Tai: Teen-age wolves?
Matt: No stupid, we broke up and changed the name.
Tai: to what?
Matt: Robotic Harem, of course.
Tai slightly coughed, possibly to hide his laughter.
Tai: Why?
Matt: None of your damn business.
Tai: Seriously?
Matt then punches Tai in the lower stomach.
Tai: What the fuck, man? I'm just trying to enjoy my lunch! Also, I have a soccer game.
Matt: Fine then.
Tai hands the ticket back.
Matt: Give me salt or give me death!
Tai pours a bunch of salt in Matt's noodles.
Matt: Hey!
Tai: I'm making it super special!
Matt: Stop it! Are you even listening?
Tai finally stops.
Tai: Typical Matt is typical.
Matt: Fuck you man.
Some time passes, with us finding in Daigo's office.
Daigo: So, what kind of sexual interactions do you want to participate in?
Tai: Screw you.
Tai then grabbed a lone cinnamon bun as Daigo talked.
Tai: I'm just going to have this.
The chosen took a bite out of it, a strange feeling coming over him for a brief second.
Daigo: Sounds good, Taichi.
Tai: Awesome!
Daigo: Are you sure you don't have a clue?
Tai: I have no clue, nya.
Daigo: Just put something down.
Tai: I like being with friends. Even if they're too far away, nya.
Daigo holds up a picture of a naked girl playing in some water. Strangely, it looks as if he drew it with a pencil in his mouth.
Tai: Uh... sure, nya.
Daigo: Go learn to speak sexy, my friend.
He then pulls out a picture of a naked girl with very large breasts.
Daigo: Dream big!
We then cut to a shipping port, where a kuwagamon has just materialized.
Kuwagamon: I'm back, bitches!
After, were shown a guy who likes Junpei from Persona 3. As such, he is naturally freaking out about the current situation.
'Junpei': Hermes!
Then we see Meicoomon again.
Meicoomon: How can it be again, if you didn't do the montage?
Followed by Huckmon.
Huckmon: Seriously, do anyone actually remember me?
The screen then fades to black, only to follow this up with a couple of shots of the school once again.
Tai: Izzy, come over here, nya!
Izzy smiles and waves his phone at Tai. In that time, the two start the conversation without starting the conversation.
Izzy: Sorry, but I got plans to raze the dig- I mean to eat dinner with my family.
Tai: So you're not coming, nya?
Izzy: How about Matt instead?
Tai: He has a concert. Joe is studying. And TK and Kari are doing who knows what, nya.
Izzy: Sucks to be you, my neko friend.
Tai merely ignores the insult, looking off in the distance.
Tai: Sounds good, nya?
Izzy: I get it but, I'll just text Mimi anyway.
Izzy types some stuff in the phone, possibly texting someone else along with Mimi.
Tai: But she's in America, nya…
We are then shown a shot of some legs going across a crosswalk in a hastily put together shot of New York City. For some reason, the animators got lazy and made all the signs here written in Japanese.
Following that, we get to see the back of Mimi.
Mimi: Time to go, I guess.
We then cut back to Izzy, still on his phone.
Izzy: Interesting. She'll come, if you pay for the airfare.
Tai: Mimi is coming, nya!
Izzy: That remark will cost you 1.08 million yen.
Tai: But Americans don't use yen, nya.
We then shift over to a shot of TK's legs.
TK: Sorry, I can't come that day.
Kari: You're dead to me.
TK: Go ahead and try.
Kari swung her knife in TK's direction, only for the weapon to seemingly miss.
Kari: At the very least, say that you love me.
TK: No.
Kari: Fine then.
TK: Good conversation, lost girl.
The two head across a crosswalk, with not a single car in sight.
Kari: How dare you!
TK: Make my day, Lily.
Kari: Oh really?
The two reluctantly turn the corner, only for TK to shoot her in the head.
TK: In my defense, it was the best move for a gentlemanly asshole such as myself.
A few seconds later, Kari gets back up as the bullet just pops out of her head.
TK: Yes, it is I, Evil TK. And second, you really don't want to know what the fuck she is.
Kari only ignored the comment.
Kari: Goodbye, stupid!
The two go their separate ways, only for TK to mug someone.
We then cut to a prep school. Because at this point, let's make this more jumpier than DA03!
Man: Test or die!
We move over to Joe, with not so stellar grades.
Joe: Fucking great.
We then cut to him texting Tai. Followed by a shot of that woman we all thought was Ken looking at a computer screen while talking on a phone.
Maki: There is an obvious answer to this.
Daigo: Yes...
Maki: They're at your momma's house, of course!
Static fills the phone, forcing the two to disconnect.
We then cut to Tai and Kari eating in their apartment, with a news report on.
Kari: I'm can't come. I'm murdering someone that day.
Tai: I'll be fine, nya.
Kari: Okay, Taichi-Senpai?
The two turn to face the TV.
Newscaster A: This just in. 95% of viewers of fanfiction won't remember a single word I currently say after leaving this fic.
Kari: Sucks to be them!
Tai: Real mature, nya.
Kari: You actually gave a care, Taichi-Senpai?
Tai: Yes, nya!
Kari: Good for fucking you.
Tai: This is just wonderful, nya.
Tai gets up from the table.
Kari: Goodbye stupid!
Tai finally walks away, only to go grab his bike and text Sora. After, he heads off and catches a brief glimpse of Meiko.
Meiko: Tick tock, destiny awaits for you, neko of courage.
We then cut to Sora, who is stripping out of her uniform.
Sora: I just can't decide. Where's master when you need him?!
As the "slave" types on her computer, her digital clock glitches the numbers into all seven's.
After, we cut to Izzy eating dinner.
Izzy: Truly a wonderful meal.
?: Is that so?
A figure dressed in a white mage outfit now stood before him, claymore in hand.
Izzy: What do you want?
?: Your death.
Izzy: Are you so sure, Chaos?
?: If that is what balances things out within the digitalverse, so be it.
She then slammed the claymore through the chair, killing the digidestined of knowledge instantly.
Chaos: I did it...
She then collapsed to the ground, her body convulsing for a couple of seconds. After, she picked herself up and searched the dead body. While there wasn't many interesting things on him, she could at least take Izzy's digivice and phone for later.
We then cut to TK and Matt.
TK: So, how's 'mom'?
Matt only rolls his eyes.
Matt: When were you a part of this family?!
TK: What do you mean?
TK is then slammed against a wall.
After, we cut to Tai on his bike as the episode ends.
Notes:
Holy shit, it's finished.