Hello, I actually wrote this one shot a month ago and it's been hidden in my Doc Manager so I thought I'd put it on here. It's Bonnie/Klaus & slight Bonnie/Damon. The title of this fic is a line from the awesome band that is Franz Ferdinand 'Auf Achse.' Sorry in advance for mistakes and enjoy :)

"Look at this, love" Klaus smirked as he pointed down to the motley crew all scattered around looking for the one woman who didn't want to be found, who in fact was standing next to him, "it's cute how they're still looking for you."

"Yes" Bonnie rolled her green eyes, "it's downright touching" she stepped away from the buildings ledge towards the fire escape and to walk towards the door, dropping her bag of hemlock on the ground before walking back to him.

"It still strikes me how idiotic they are," Klaus mused as he watched Damon whispering nothing of consequence to Stefan, he looked back at her, "they must know you don't want to be found anymore"

Bonnie sighed as she looked at the hybrid, she knows he's testing her. Trying to find a flicker of regret or even nostalgia for the people she used to hold dear, but she had neither emotion now. She just didn't have the capacity to love and protect when it was never reciprocated on her end. Being dispensable in the eyes of a particular Salvatore brother was nothing really new but it still fucking hurt every single time she was over looked when it came to those big brown eyes of her best friend. Well no more, she changed whether better or for worse she wasn't sure but she's no longer that naïve seventeen year old.

"They do," she smirked. "But they still believe they can bring me back from the malignant pitfalls that is Niklaus Mikaelson."

Klaus walked over to stand behind her. Bonnie stiffened but soon relaxed as he moved his hands up her thin arms. He moved a strand of mocha hair off her shoulder to drop a kiss there, he lingered for a moment inhaling her scent before moving away to stand in front of her, "Can they?"

"Can they what?"

Klaus smiled but his eyes held a reserved coolness, "Bring you back to their side…their tag team of incompetent fucks."

Bonnie narrowed her eyes as she looked at him. He never swore, he always said swearing was beneath him which told her she needed to tread carefully. She lifted her hand to caress the back of his neck, he acted unaffected by her sporadic display of affection but she knew better.

"Not in a million years, that part of me is long gone."

Klaus nodded as he asked. "Can he?"

Bonnie dropped her hand to fold her arms. "Who's he?"

He scrutinized her, taking in her defensive stance. "You know, love."

Bonnie was silent for a moment before replying, "Damon?" when she received no answer, she knew it was the right one. "It was one time," she noticed how Klaus' jaw tightened. She knows he hates being reminded how Damon and herself was once intimate but he did bring it up. She shrugged, "other than that, there is no relationship, I assure you…I hate him."

He smirked, "I can kill him for you"

Bonnie only laughed, not giving him any answer which frustrated him. Living for a thousand years held an edge for him when it came to human emotion. He can read people like a book, but he couldn't read her. Bonnie has a talent for keeping her emotion tightly in check, he knew after a year of being together she was still wary of him and who can blame her really? But it angers him that for a time that she actually trusted Damon 'witch killer' Salvatore over him, he never killed a witch in his life yet she still walks on egg shells around him. She even slept with that cretin while he can't get no more than a kiss on her good days.

"We should get going, this spell isn't going to last long"

Klaus sighed, "You should be stronger than this."

Bonnie rounded on him and narrowed her eyes. "Keeping myself invisible, where they," She pointed at the ground, "can't also hear me or smell me isn't difficult. Doing the same to a one thousand year old hybrid is. If you want a more accomplished witch, find someone else."

During her adorable rant, Klaus' smile became more pronounced until his fangs showed.

"Stop smiling like that, it's really creepy." Bonnie commented cooly, realizing nothing she said went through the hybrid's skull. "You're just one of those people who shouldn't smile."

Klaus tilted his head. "Dark and moody, huh?"

Bonnie lazily shrugged her shoulder, "Why change something you're good at."

Klaus nodded his head in a contemplative manner, before walking ahead of Bonnie towards the door. "I don't have all night, Bonnie." He said seriously but with an undercurrent of amusement.

Shaking her head, she walked up to him and walked down the fire exit in silence.

"I was wondering," Klaus pondered quietly like he was talking to himself, as they made their way outside in the icy air. "When are you going to let me, forgive me for speaking crudely, fuck you."

Bonnie started coughing and stared at him as if he was insane. "That's not our arrangement, so never."

"Does it have to be an arrangement?" He said, slightly bemused at her response. "Can't we just enjoy each other's company in a more intimate sense?"

"What brought this on?" Bonnie asked, looking around to see if any of them were around. The spell was still covering them but it was becoming weaker. Humans wouldn't be able to break through the last remains of the spell but if a vampire tried hard enough, they might.

"Well, you and Damon." Bonnie groaned, which he ignored. "Were intimate and you claim to hate the guy but you still slept with him."

"So," Bonnie said, trying to make sense of Klaus cave man logic. "Because I had sex with Damon, I should sleep with you too…like fairs fair?"

Klaus was silent for a moment before nodding. "Yes, it's only fair."

"You're unbelievable." Bonnie said, exasperated.

"Spend the night with me and you'd be saying it under different circumstances, love."

Bonnie only scoffed before inhaling harshly, "Fuck."

Klaus nodded teasingly, "Yes, please."

Bonnie glared at him before saying, "I left the bag of hemlock on the roof."

"So? We'll get more." He said, simply.

"That took a long time to get." Bonnie turned towards the building. "I'm getting it." When she saw Klaus following behind her, she said. "What are you doing? Go back to the hotel and I'll meet you there."

"Why?"

"The spell has probably worn off you now, if it already has."

"That means you're not protected either." He said, slowly.

Bonnie shook her head, "Seeing as I wasn't around since the dawn of time and I'm a witch it takes longer to wear off me."

Klaus pursed his lips, "There's only so much 'age' jokes I can take, without it becoming cruel." When he saw her impassive face, he sighed. "Fine, I'll meet you back at the hotel but if you're not back in twenty minutes, I'm looking for you."

Bonnie rolled her eyes, "Yes, daddy." She started to blush, that didn't mean to come out so...suggestively.

Klaus reigned in his smirk as he nodded, "Twenty minutes." He was gone in a flash.

Hurrying up the stairs because he was not kidding when he gave her that allocated time, she busted through the door and sharply looked to her left but it wasn't there.

"Looking for this?" an annoyingly familiar voice called out. Bonnie looked straight ahead to find Damon standing on the edge, casually swinging the bag in his hand.

"Actually, I am." Bonnie said, looking around, expecting the whole 'tag team' to jump out.

As if reading her mind, he shook his head. "They're not here, where would they hide?"

"Don't know, you guys probably got another witch to do your bidding...an invisibility or blending spell isn't hard to do."

"Aww, we'd never be able to replace you." He said, in a taunting tone that made Bonnie's blood boil.

"So, you keep killing them, then?"

Damon only shrugged his shoulders, not giving a response.

"Well, it was really great catching up." Bonnie said, feigning a smile. "But I need that bag back."

As if he didn't hear her, he said, "So, Klaus knows we had a thing."

Bonnie looked questioningly at him before saying. "It was barely that...how did you..."

"Hear you?" Damon said, walking closer to her. "I started hearing your voices so I did a little investigating and saw Klaus talking alone but obviously with you so when you said you were headed towards the roof, I went back to Stefan and the rest and told them to abandon our nightly stroll while I came up here to surprise you." He stopped several yards away. "Surprise."

"Does that mean you can't see me?"

Damon shook his head. "I can see your outline and I can hear and smell so I wouldn't try anything."

Bonnie folded her arms. "I can send you flying off this roof."

"And I can climb back up and tear your head off." He said flippantly.

"I'd like to see you try."

"Aww, I miss this." Damon said as he motioned between the two. "The trading insults, I get none of that now. It's really boring."

Bonnie tapped her foot on the floor, patience wearing thin. "I'm sorry I'm not there to endlessly amuse you but I should really be going...with that bag."

Damon nodded slowly, "Of course, but may I ask what are you doing to make Klaus act like this?"

"What are you talking about?" Bonnie sighed.

"Like a sniveling, jealous little boyfriend." Damon asked, observing her. "Sure, he acted like a little bitch when he had that thing for Caroline but this is different."

"I don't know, he thinks I'm valuable unlike other people."

Damon smirked, "yes, I'm sure he thinks your very valuable...I hope I wasn't like that when we were doing the dirty."

Bonnie chuckled, "You kidding? You're Elena's little bitch, all she had to do is snap her fingers and you're on her beck and call."

Damon's smirk turn into a sneer as he regarded her, he tired to find any hidden jealously in her tone but found none which didn't sit well for him.

He threw the bag in her expected hands.

"You're not going to try and convince me to go back to your side?" Bonnie asked, placing the bag in her pocket.

Damon shrugged his shoulders, "You'll come back eventually, so I don't see the point." he walked backwards towards the edge of the building. "So, I'll see you soon. Oh and Bonnie." He said, sarcastically, "Don't make him wait too long, I'm assuming Klaus' balls are blue enough as it is." He jumped off before Bonnie can hurl a rock at his face.

"That was more then twenty minutes." Klaus commented lazily as he lounged on the bed, watching Jerry Springer.

"And you didn't come and get me." Bonnie said, fully formed, placing the hemlock on the table. "I'm proud of you."

"I thought it would be good to give you some air." Klaus said, eyes still on the television.

Bonnie looked at him for a while. He really was an attractive guy so what if he was questionably insane and damaged, although she didn't want to admit it, her type currently seemed to fall under the categories of insane and damaged.

"Bonnie, you're looking really creepy right now." Klaus said, throwing the words from earlier back in her face.

Bonnie stood up and discarded her sweater on the floor.

Klaus looked away from the TV to her, "You're usually the tidy one, love."

Bonnie rolled her eyes and said. "Twenty minutes of intimacy." She started unbuttoning her red, plaid blouse. "And we speak no more of this."

Klaus sat up straighter, his blue eyes following her every move. He grinned, "As you wish."

He was lying, of course.