In Darkness Outtakes

by gempire

These are alternate POVs for my story In Darkness

1. Back Home on the Res

Disclaimer: Twilight is the property of Stephenie Meyer

I've decided to have an Outtake story for 'In Darkness' as well. I was going to just stick them all in with the Uncertainty outtakes, but I thought it may get a little confusing, and of course people might skip ahead and get spoilered.

So this first offering is a collection of shorts I have titled 'Back Home on the Res'. I wrote these for my Beta Noble as a Christmas present. I offered him any scenario and he had wanted to know what was happening back home while Essie is stuck in Volterra. Each section is unrelated time wise other than they're in chronological order. Each section has it's own title and the bold name at the start is who's POV it's in.

The last two are an introduction to Hunter and Tina as characters in their own right rather than merely names. I thought this would be a nice opportunity to flesh them out a little.

So I'll leave you to read now and I hope you enjoy.

This is dedicated to my Beta Noble

---

My Worse Fear

Nessie

I felt the stab of disbelief as my daughter, my own daughter admitted to holding us in place. She was going; going with those we had come to protect her from. I went to leap forward, to grab her and shake some sense into her. To hold her here and not allow her to kill herself in this way.

Then I felt it, the thing the Pack feared most, the Alpha voice. And as my daughter spoke to us I felt it. It wasn't just a voice in the mind as I'd always imagined but a feeling through my entire body. As she spoke the words they sank into me and I couldn't move. The words, that try as I might, I would never forget:

"I know you're all gonna hate me for doing this, but I couldn't live with myself if any of you died when there's one simple solution to all of this. I'm sorry, I really am but I can't let you try and stop me or talk me out of it. You're not gonna try coming after me or avenging me either otherwise my sacrifice will be for nothing. They could kill us all in a blink of an eye and I'd rather protect you all. Now go, look after the kids who need looking after. Make sure they grow up right and forget all about the vamp wolf brat named Essie. As far as you're concerned I'm no more. Now you can stay to watch me go, or if you can't handle that I understand if you want to go, but none of you are to come after me. Period."

I tried to fight against my own body, to make it obey me, obey my desire to protect my baby girl, but I couldn't. I was stuck here, welded to the spot while she gave a small smile to Tobias who looked as torn up as the rest of us. I knew then that this was my daughter's decision entirely; the vampire had wanted nothing to do with it. It was my daughter who wanted to risk her life.

"I'm sorry. But this is the only way." She whispered, clearly on the brink of tears.

I couldn't let my baby girl go off with those monsters, what type of mother did that make me? I gathered up as much of my will as I could, putting the full force of my instinct to protect her behind any action I could muster that would make her reconsider.

"Essie! Please!" I managed to gasp, but her command clamped down and any other words stuck in my throat.

"I'm sorry Mom." She sobbed and a tear trickled down her cheek before she brushed it away quickly, as if she was hoping we wouldn't see.

I felt that rush of maternal instinct once more, and although it felt like walking through quicksand with weights tied to me feet I closed the gap between us and threw my arms around her, locking them in place so she wouldn't go into danger. I was exhausted, and I knew if she chose to I had no hope of holding her. But I would use every last ounce of my strength if I had to.

"Please!" I gasped.

I have to do this. For the sake of the others. One day you'll thank me for it. Do you think it right that Hunter should grow up without his parents because his sister was selfish? You're needed in the community, much more than I ever was. You know this is the best way.

Esther spoke into my mind, not betraying her little brother to the sensitive ears of the waiting Volturi. The points she made were valid, but she was my child too and I couldn't allow her to go with those monsters. They had stolen my mind when I was in Volterra and created a whole new persona for me, I did not want this to happen to my daughter. I couldn't let them take her, no matter her reasoning.

But…

"Please Mom. I'll keep in touch. I'll write and e-mail when I can. Aro said you can all live if I go to Volterra, so that's what I'm gonna do." The promises were hollow, I knew that she didn't expect to live an hour after setting foot in Volterra, regardless of their promises.

I vowed in that instant that should Esther die I would fly to Volterra and kill Aro myself. For surely her edict would no longer apply if she were dead.

There was a commotion with the wolves, but I couldn't spare them a thought, I put all my energy in holding my daughter to me. Willing her to change her mind, we could defeat these Volturi if we wanted to, why Esther could do it herself if she turned this power on them.

"So I guess this is goodbye. I'll see you all again…someday. But for now I must do my duty for my people. All my people." Esther said in tones of winding this incident up and I felt the flutter of panic in my stomach.

Essie finally pried me off her, "Goodbye." She whispered, and turned away.

I have no true recollection of what happened after that, only the memory of numbing emptiness as I watched my only daughter cross the field toward the waiting mass of darkness. The mass parted and Esther and Tobias seemed to be engulfed by it. I watched in helplessness as the darkness drifted away, carrying my baby with it.

I stood rooted to the spot as the clearing filled with a mocking brilliant sunlight, I wanted to shout at the heavens to demand why this had happened, but I couldn't move. My worst fear had been realized, the Volturi had found out about Essie and they had taken her away.

The air grew cooler, but still I stood in that clearing, looking across it as true darkness began to grow in the trees.

"Nessie? We need to go." I heard Jake's voice as if he was speaking from far away.

I couldn't answer, I was too busy trying to make myself move forward, to run into the darkness and fetch my daughter back.

"Renesmee!"

I blinked; Jake barely ever called me Renesmee.

"There's nothing we can do." He said. "Believe me, we've tried. But every time we even think about going after her we can't move. Essie Alphaed us good, there's no going against it."

"I'm her mother." I protested.

"Ness, you know it won't work." Jake said with a sad sigh.

"I have to get her back." I stated, as pointless as a child throwing a tantrum.

"You heard what Essie said. She did this to protect Hunter." Jake said softly as he placed his hands on my shoulders.

"There were other ways." I said, looking up into his eyes before dropping my head forlornly.

"Hunter needs you now and if we don't go to him then Essie's sacrifice means nothing." Jake said, his voice edging on gruff now.

I looked at him in shock.

Sacrifice? I couldn't speak the word, only project.

Suddenly I was crying and Jake hugged me into his warm chest. I couldn't stop the tears, they were falling too fast and my chest was aching too much to draw breath. I felt so helpless, unable to help my daughter when she needed me most. What kind of mother was I to just let her wander off?

"Come on Ness! Essie made her decision, Hunter needs you now."

Yes, Hunter needs me.

I sniffed and pulled away from Jake, rubbing tears from my face.

"Hunter needs me." I repeated.

Jake took my hand and led me back toward home; I was in no fit state to steer so I allowed Jake to guide us through the trees. I felt a stab of greater grief as the house came into view, knowing that Esther would never see it again. My daughter had truly been taken by the Volturi.

It took every last ounce of strength I had to walk those few yards up the ramp and into the little red house. Billy looked up as we entered, the smile on his face faltered then died.

"What happened?" He asked.

"It's…it's…" I couldn't say, it was too painful.

"Essie handed herself in to the Volturi." Jake said in a flat voice.

"What?" Billy gasped. "Why?"

"To protect Hunter." I murmured. "And Timmy's baby."

I gasped and sobbed in a strangled sound, "Oh god! Timmy! Has anyone told Tish?"

"I'll go find out." Jake promised me and he kissed my cheek before he left.

I slumped down onto the sofa and Billy took my hand and patted it, I gave him a small smile, but that's all I could manage.

I heard the sound of footsteps in the hall and at first I expected Essie to come bounding into the room, her grin stretched on her face as she told me of the elaborate plan she had concocted to insure the Volturi never darkened our door again. However it was Max and he was vibrant with energy until he noted the subdued atmosphere in the room.

"Who died?" He asked.

"Timmy." I answered. "And the Volturi took Essie." That was the most I could manage before breaking down again.

"What? Like, kidnapped?" He asked sounding appalled.

"More or less." Billy answered. "They're taking her to Volterra and it's unlikely she'll ever come back."

"They'll kill her?" Max gasped.

"Yes. Unless Aro finds her gifts useful." Billy replied.

"Then what will happen?"

"He'll keep her there for the rest of her life." I said in a hollow voice.

"Oh god Auntie Ness, I'm so sorry." Max said, putting his arm around me.

"Don't worry about me." I whispered. "I have Jake and Billy, Sammie will need comforting right now."

"You're right." He said, jumping back to his feet and rushing out the door.

"Why did you send him away?" Billy asked.

"My mind is all over the place at the moment. The last thing I want is to project my grief on Max, he has had enough of his own these past few years." I answered. "Besides, Sammie will need him more than I."

Billy gave my hand another squeeze.

Jake came back at that point and I looked at him in question.

"Leah and Daphne are with her now. As you can guess she's pretty cut up and I think we should let Carlisle take a look at her just in case. But I don't think she's up to any kind of journey at the moment. Should we give him a pass?" The last question was directed at Billy.

"I'll arrange it." Billy said, wheeling his chair toward the door. "I'll phone from Seth's house. Where is Tish?"

"Over in her own house." Jake informed him.

Billy nodded. "I'll sort it." He said, before going out the door.

I was crying again as the door swung shut and Jake put his arm around me as he sat next to me on the sofa.

"It'll be ok." Jake said soothingly.

"They have her Jake. They have her and…" I replied but my words failed me before I could finish the sentence.

"If anyone can survive the Volturi it's Ess." Jake said with a chuckle, but it was unconvincing, he didn't believe it anymore than I did.

"Nobody can survive the Volturi." I growled, directing my anger toward him for the moment.

I heard the sound of gurgling and felt warmth as Hunter pulled himself up my leg.

"Oh Hunter." I sighed, lifting him into my lap. "If only you knew what was going on?"

I hugged him into my chest, reluctant to let him go lest the same fate were to befall him. Jake put his arms around both of us for extra protection and Hunter burrowed into me as I sobbed silently, trying not to upset him.

Essie had been right about one thing, Hunter needed me now. I would protect him more effectively than I had Esther, and part of that was to let him know of the dangerous supernatural world earlier than I allowed Essie to know. He would not be blind to the dangers out there and he would know that the only safety was here on the Res.

I would drum that into him and he'd never go running off and drawing attention to himself. He would not have to make the same decision Essie did.

The next week was long and harrowing. I had no idea what had happened to my daughter and I didn't want to try and contact her for fear that the Volturi would intercept. I asked her friends not to contact her either, although Sammie broke first.

She messaged Essie writing in Quileute and Essie had replied in the same way, although she added a message for Carlisle. Sammie said that she had to tell Grandpa directly and she wouldn't relay the message to me.

I had mixed feelings when the very next day I was looking through my e-mails and one came through from Essie:

Mom, and everybody really,

Ok so maybe I shouldn't message you guys, you're probably all pissed at me for handing myself over. I guess there's not enough apologies in the world to make up for what I did. I know that in time you'll all forgive me, but until that time it's probably better that most forget me. Especially the kids, you know what they're like. Maybe it's better they think I'm dead or better still that I never existed at all. You know how fond the Res kids are of me and I wish I hadn't formed bonds with them in the first place. But what's done is done and better they don't remember me than to pine after me.

Mom, I'm really sorry, but you know it was the best thing for everyone.

Esther Marie Black x

I had no idea how to respond at first. I was angry Esther had taken this long to get in contact, but then I felt angry with myself, what if they hadn't allowed her near a computer?

I was also trying to decipher her message since she had written it in code, obviously to shield it's true meaning from the Volturi. If her code was such then she must be referring to Hunter and Tish's baby once it's born. It seemed strange that she would request that I make Hunter forget her, surely she'd want him to know of the brave and noble sacrifice she gave to save us all?

She said she wished she hadn't formed bonds, and I had always suspected Hunter was linked telepathically to her. Perhaps she wanted him to forget so that he would never inadvertently see the horrors of Volterra through her eyes. If that was the case then it was probably for the best that Hunter forgot her. I'd have to take steps to ensure this, although I knew it would pain me greatly.

The end of the message was what worried me most; Esther had signed her full name. She hated using her full name, always introducing herself as Essie. She always joked that I was the only one who called her by her full name, and that was only when she was in trouble. Did this mean she was in trouble, obviously more trouble than merely being in Volterra would suggest, or was it perhaps because she thought she was in trouble with me? I had no idea, but I knew I had to respond.

I had to let her know I wasn't angry with her and that she wasn't in trouble, the less worries she had the easier her time spent in Volterra would be. I didn't want her to spend her time in incarceration thinking that I was angry with her or worse that I didn't want anything to do with her ever again. She was my daughter and I missed her dearly, if I could I would go to Volterra this instant and fetch her back, but every time I even thought in that direction I felt her Alpha command slam down on me.

The only thing I could do was to give her peace of mind.

Essie,

Thanks for the message and you must understand, we're not mad at you and you're already forgiven. Although I am annoyed that you have waited until now to message me when you promised to message me everyday. That aside, I agree that the children should forget you and I will work toward making this so, although they do miss their treasured instructor. Nobody can impress them quite the way you can. So have faith lamb and stay happy, and make sure you message me everyday young lady or I will be vexed.

Mom xxx

I thought the light-hearted approach was best and I was rather proud of my reply as I clicked 'send'. Then I stared at the delivery report for a very long time cursing it for being my only means of communication with my daughter. I felt so helpless and I found myself crying once more, mourning my daughter as if she were dead.

Perhaps in my heart of hearts I knew she was. I doubted Aro would ever allow her to leave Volterra alive, and even if he did she'd be changed beyond recognition, she'd no longer be my lamb. That place could poison the most innocent of souls and I was unsure how Essie would fair if she remained there for years, or worse still, decades.

"Holly Ivy, should we ever meet again, I swear I will kill you." I whispered at the screen as I felt the tears dry to my cheeks.

As my heart hardened toward the person I once considered my best friend I felt the determination to comply to Essie's wishes settle in. If I had to convince Hunter that there was never such a person as Essie then I had to erase her completely.

First of all I pulled together Hunter's travelling bag and I took him over to Anne's house. She was happy to watch him for a couple of hours and Portia loved playing with him since she was at that age where she found babies cute. I knew Hunter would be safe with Anne and Portia until I had completed my task.

When I arrived back at the house I went around to Jakes big garage and took out some fold away storage boxes that I carried around to the house.

"What are you doing?" Billy asked as he watched me pass the living room door.

"Doing what Essie asked." I answered, stopping briefly. "Good news Billy, you get to have a room again."

"What do you mean?"

"Essie asked me to make Hunter forget her, so I have to…" I managed to choke back the sob. "I have to remove all traces of her."

"If you think it's for the best." Billy said, giving me a cautious look.

"I do." I said and went into Essie's room.

It was a mess, just as Essie left it the last time she'd slept in this room. Yes she'd made some attempt to tidy the bed, but that mainly consisted of throwing the blanket haphazardly over the bed. There were clothes hanging out of her drawers and the wardrobe where she'd pulled things about in her attempt to pack a few things quickly.

I sighed and placed the boxes on the bed. The first thing I did was to collect all of Essie's clothes and take them out to the laundry room. I separated them into loads and put the first load in while I went back to her room. Then began the task of clearing out her things.

I was fine with wrapping up her laptop and putting it in its carrying case, which was something Essie always neglected to do unless she was taking it somewhere. I smiled at the thought but I also felt the first prickle of tears. I decided I would give her laptop and the printer to either one of the Twins or Harry, or perhaps Max could use it, as long as he promised to wipe anything that referred to Essie, or at least never allow Hunter alone with it when he's older.

I put the printer and the laptop into a box together and placed them in the hall just outside the door. Then I packed away Essie's school notes, although they were just copied knowledge it was still in her handwriting and flicking through just her biology notes I was fascinated by how much her hand writing changed, there was a definite pattern and a quick scrutiny of the dates seemed to indicate that her writing was a lot better right after a big hunt. That was interesting and I wished it was something I'd noticed when she was here and we could have discussed the significance of it.

All her school notes took up a big box that had I been a plain human I would have had trouble lifting. This I put out in the hall with the other box.

The next task was the hardest. Essie had accumulated a collection of shoeboxes, which surprised me she had so many considering her reluctance to wear shoes, but it was only the boxes she wanted because she used them to store all kinds of things, first on the bottom of her wardrobe and then on the top. I was probably being masochistic but I couldn't help looking through them.

The first box was fairly recent, from the last year or two with ticket stubs for the cinema in Port Angeles and Seattle, a programme from an opera and a ballet, when had Essie done that? For some reason there was a spoon, one of those fancy silver ones that are only ever used for best by rich people. There was a key fob of a bear, one of those realistic plastic model ones and it was attached to a set of keys I didn't recognise. There was a wad of fabric, black satin, black taffeta and black lace all pinned together, they had the unmistakable look of scraps of material from clothes that had been destroyed by somebody fursploding.

When I reached the photos at the bottom of the box they were all of Essie and Tobias. I felt my cheeks burn as I realised with a little embarrassment that this memento box should have remained private. I quickly replaced everything into the box and put it at the bottom of one of the fold away boxes. It was not my place to try and decipher that particular box.

The next box was from the pair of shoes I'd bought for Essie when she had started at Forks High, she could not have worn the shoes more than twice, but she had found a use for the box. There were the inevitable ticket stubs, this time from the cinema in Port Angeles only, if this was anything to go by it seemed that Essie and her friends seemed to spend most of their time at the cinema, although I knew that wasn't the case. Besides there was enough evidence in this box to prove otherwise, such as a pine cone and a small river smoothed stone that was red with tiny veins of quartz running through it.

There were also photos, endless photos of Essie and her friends. The oldest were merely Essie, the Twins and Harry, but gradually it grew to include the Hannigans and Masen. Finally Will was in some of the photos, then Nikki, Max and Tuck. I don't think Essie realised how many lives she actually touched, she had always felt alienated from a lot of people due to the fact that she felt she didn't fit anywhere, but she had found her place, and now the Volturi had ripped her from it.

The tears spilled over and I was sobbing hard as I hugged the picture of Essie and all her friends, in a group photo taken just before graduation, to my chest. That last snap of happiness before everything had been turned upside down. I couldn't move, trapped there in my misery with my back against her bed as I stared at the back of the wardrobe.

"Ness?" Jake said tentatively placing a hand on my shoulder.

I looked up into his eyes as he squatted beside me.

"I just can't do it Jake." I whispered, "I can't erase her from our lives."

"I know." Jake said, hugging me to him. "But we don't have to erase her, just put her away for safe keeping until she comes back to us."

"But she wants Hunter to forget her." I whispered.

"I know." Jake replied.

"So where the hell can we store all her belongings so that he'll never find them and wonder who this girl was?" I asked in despair.

"Up at the Cullen house." Jake said simply. "They got plenty of room. We can put it all in Tobias' room and lock off the top floor until she comes back."

"But what if the Hannigans don't want to?"

"The house belongs to your family. They'll have no choice." Jake said simply.

"I don't want to create unnecessary animosity with them."

"Ness, we won't. I don't think any of them will want to use the top room now Tobias has gone. They'll probably lock it up anyway. So we'll just pack all this stuff away and drive on up there. How does that sound?"

I nodded my head against his chest.

"Come on then. I'll start with these boxes and you can go change the loads." Jake said, motioning me toward the door.

"But?"

"Ness. I don't think it's a good idea for you to go through these boxes. For one they're like Essie's thoughts, almost like a secret diary, but made up of things not words, and I don't think Essie would like us reading it. And for another, your not doing yourself any favours, you're just making yourself worse. So I'll pack these so you won't be tempted."

I turned away from Jake and looked at the picture of Essie with her group of friends one last time before I replaced it in the shoebox and put the lid back on. I placed my hand on top of the box and was silent for a long moment before I managed to stand.

"You're right." I said, "I shouldn't pry in these boxes. Pack them away, I will see to her clothing."

Jake smiled and gave me a hug and I hugged him back for a long while. I pulled away enough to give him a quick kiss before I turned from him and went out of Essie's bedroom and through the kitchen to the little laundry room. The first load had just finished washing so I switched it to the dryer then put in a new load.

I watched both machines go round and round for a while as I resisted the urge to return to the room and look through every single box in the hope of finding my daughter somewhere in there, but Jake was right. Those boxes were like diaries for Essie and I had no more right to look through them than I did to read the pages of her inner most thoughts.

I had to do something though; I couldn't stand here watching the machines all day. I took a deep breath and went to the kitchen looking around for anything that needed doing. I always kept it clean and orderly for it saved time in the long run, but with a bit of imagination I could find something to do.

In between cleaning out all the cupboards and scrubbing the floor I changed the loads when they needed it, ironing the clean clothes and folding them neatly into a box for storage. By the time I was finished the kitchen was cleaner than I could ever remember and I considered whether I should clean out the living room, but I would have to wait until Billy had moved out of there first.

The front door opened and Max came in.

"Whoa Auntie Ness, you've been busy." He declared.

I looked up at him.

"I needed to occupy myself while Jake clears out Essie's room." I replied.

"Why?" he asked with a frown.

"Because I couldn't do it myself. Not without looking at everything." I admitted feeling ashamed.

"Why are you clearing out her room?"

"Because she wants Hunter to forget she ever existed." I said feeling wretched.

"Oh." Max said downcast.

"But the good news is, it's your room now." I said with brittle cheer.

"What?"

"The room your in is better suited to Billy and his chair. So why don't you go pack your things to move into Es…into your new room. Then you can decide whether you want to keep the double bed or have a single bed in there so there's more room. Actually you can decorate first if you want, anything you want." I rambled on.

"I don't know Auntie Ness. It'll seem weird sleeping in Essie's room." Max said with a frown.

"Whose room?" I demanded, feeling my heart die as I said it and Max gave me a shocked look. "We have to get used to not saying her name, or even referring to her in the house, we don't want Hunter to overhear."

"But he's only a baby." Max pointed out.

"At the moment, but he'll soon be older and we won't want to slip up then, so it's better we start practicing now." It killed me to say these words, but I had to make Max understand.

He watched me for a moment and then he seemed to understand.

"You're right Auntie Ness." He said sadly.

I nodded and dropped my head. Then Max did something unexpected, he hugged me.

"She'll be back, you'll see." He whispered.

"Thanks Max." I said, "I hope you're right."

He tapped my back and stepped away.

"Guess I should go pack then." He said, scratching at his spiked up copper hair, which seemed to be a nervous tick with him.

I nodded my head.

"And then decide which bed you'd prefer and perhaps you can go to buy some paints later to decorate." I suggested.

Max nodded and left the kitchen.

Jake came in a moment later.

"It's all packed." He said softly.

I nodded my head.

"I'll bring the truck around to load." He said.

"I'll start carrying boxes out." I replied.

We hadn't looked each other in the eye in that exchange, in fact we barely looked at each other at all. Jake left the house and I heard him walking around to the back. I went to grab the box of clothes, funny to think they all fit into one box, but then Essie had never been one for fashion.

Jake was reversing to the bottom of the ramp as I went through the door. He stopped at the foot of the ramp and got out to unfastened the board so we could slide the boxes onto the flatbed. We soon had all the boxes loaded, although I left the one with the laptop since it would be no use to Essie when she returned. If she returned.

Jake covered the boxes in tarpaulin while I climbed into the passenger seat. We were silent on the way up to my family's house, after all, what was there to say about this task that would eliminate our daughter's presence from our home?

It felt strange to knock the door; it was very rare that I had to. The only other time I could clearly remember had been when Essie was eight and I'd taken her hunting the first time. I pushed away the ghosts as the door opened.

Alice answered the door. She took one look at me and hugged me around my waist. Everyone seemed to want to hug me lately as if that would bring my daughter back.

"How are you holding up?" She asked.

"Ok." I whispered, not in the mood to say much more. "May we come in?"

"Like you need to ask." Alice said, stepping aside and Jake and I entered.

Nobody else appeared to be around as I glanced around the main room.

"Is Marlin here?" I asked.

"I'll go get her." Alice said softly and flittered off up the stairs.

Jake and I sat on one of the sofas to wait.

Alice reappeared with Marlin in tow. Marlin looked subdued, almost heartbroken, but then Tobias was her brother, they'd been together for a very long time, she was bound to feel the separation.

"Good evening Nessie, Jake, how may I help you?" She asked, her voice quiet as she sat in a chair.

"Essie…Essie wants Hunter to forget she ever existed and we have removed everything of hers from the house. We need somewhere to store it where it will be safe but Hunter will never come across it." I replied, my voice just as quiet.

"Put it in Tobias' room." Marlin said flatly. "We will make the necessary adjustments to close up the room and it will all be there ready for them when they are returned to us."

I nodded my head.

"I will help you move the boxes." She said, rising from the chair.

"I'll help too." Alice said in a light voice, trying to add a little cheer to the situation.

We were barely ten minuets transferring the boxes up to the room. We stored them in the corner near the shelves. There was no need to make the bed because Tobias had already done so. I remembered what Essie had said about Tobias liking things to be neat. I thought it only fair that the boxes were stacked in an orderly fashion.

After that was done I helped Marlin lay dustsheets over everything on the bedroom. There seemed to be nothing more to do and so we took one last look at the room and closed the door on our memories.

---

Leaderless

Susie

I can't believe your making us do this. Harry grumbled, I could feel his resentment and Sammie's too, mixing together and pressing on me like they wanted to suffocate me or something.

I don't want to do this anymore than you guys, and don't you think I'm upset that Essie got taken. But our people still need protecting, now more than ever, and we can't just leave it to the Olders. I snapped.

Who died and made you Alpha? Harry snapped back.

God this was a lot worse without Essie keeping our thoughts neatly apart, I hadn't realised the good thing when we had it. I also realised that Harry and Sammie had just heard all them thoughts, but at the moment I was took sick with mixed emotions over Essie's departure to care.

No one. I snapped back. But that's the point ain't it? Essie's still our Alpha, but we won't do any good to her if we're just sitting around the Res twiddling our thumbs waiting for her to come back. Don't you think she'll be pretty pissed if we let everyone get attacked and we didn't help because Essie isn't here to lead us? My last thought was bitter because there was a deep down shameful part of me that thought Essie had abandoned us and the others knew this too now. Look let's just do this tonight see if we can cope and if not…

No, we can't join the big pack! Sammie exclaimed.

Look Sam, we need to be realistic here. We might not be able to wolf the border just us three and if there is a big attack it will make more sense if we're linked to the other pack. Essie isn't here to be a bridge anymore. So it's something we need to consider. I said in reasonable tones, goddamn it why did I have to be the voice of reason?

But sharing a pack mind with Mom and Dad! They'll know all our thoughts. Sammie replied, mortification written all over her mind.

I know, but it's a sacrifice we'll have to make for the sake of the community. I said with a sad sigh. Not that you've done anything in particular with Max yet.

I know, but it's bad enough having you lot know my thoughts, never mind Mom and Dad.

Well like I said, we'll see how tonight goes. If you think we can manage it then we can just stick to the three of us and follow the same pattern as when Ess was here. But if not… Was it a sign that I couldn't finish that sentence?

I know what you're saying Suze, but why does the thought of joining Jake's pack make me feel like I'm cheating on Ess? Harry asked sadly.

Because in a sense it is. I said bitterly. I feel like one of those heroines in one of those books where her husband is missing presumed dead, but there's no confirmation. So she's just stuck in that little rut of 'what if'. What if her husband is dead? Then she deserves to move on with her life. But what if her husband is still alive? Then if she gives herself over to another man then that makes her unfaithful. The trouble for us is Essie's still alive but I don't think she's ever coming back.

You can't say that! Sammie gasped.

Just accept it Sis. We're not gonna see Essie back here, not in our lifetime. I said as cold certainty crept over me.

But we're shapeshifters, we can live forever. Sammie pointed out brightly.

Oh really? So you're willing to stay young forever in the hope the Essie might one day come back while you watch Max grow old and die? While you watch your kids? Your grandkids? I demanded more aggressive than was really necessary.

Sammie didn't answer because she knew I had a point.

Guys, we have to be practical about this, as much as it sucks. We're not like the vampires. We haven't got a guaranteed immortality and even if we did, we can't bring our mates into this existence like they can, we got sixty, seventy years left on this ball and I doubt we'll see Essie again. Unless it was for some great emergency, but I have a feeling we'll never run with her as a pack again. I said sadly.

I wish it wasn't true. Sammie said and she whined out loud, lying down on the floor.

Me too Sis. I said in comforting tones as I brushed my nose against her cheek. But think of what a hero Essie is? Think of the stories we can tell our children and our grandchildren so they can be on the lookout for her and they can become part of her pack in our place.

Nah. They'll be in Hunter's pack if any. Harry said, sitting down across from us.

But Hunter hasn't got a pack. Sammie said and sometimes my sister could be so dense.

Yeah, but by the time any of our kids are old enough to fursplode he'll probably already be alpha of his own little pack. I don't know whether Timmy's baby will be beta to Hunter or if she'd rather her own pack, but if that happens we might want to start considering renting one of the packs out to other areas just to break the tension. Harry said and chuckled.

Most of the Olders will be retiring soon. I pointed out.

Jake won't. He never will because if he does he'll start aging and that'll leave Nessie on her own. Harry replied.

He could still phase now and then to keep young and beautiful, but it doesn't mean he's not allowed to retire from patrolling and such. I pointed out.

Essie told me once that he even joked about her taking over both packs. So you know, he doesn't want to be patrolling forever, and who knows, he might move away one day. That would certainly be good for the rest of us. I like Auntie Ness but it is her being here that has forced most of the changes the past twenty years. Harry stated.

I think the Hannigans did for us. Sammie said.

Nah. They just sped it up a little, but it was Nessie and Essie who started off our changing, especially mine. I was more or less changed by the time the Hannigans even showed up. Harry answered.

That's true. I conceded. But under your grand plan Hunter, Tish and her daughter will have to leave the Res as well.

And therein lies the problem. Since the Blacks now have vamp blood in their family our Alphas will be the ones setting off the newbies when it's not really necessary. Harry said, giving a wolf shrug.

Hang on! Sammie snapped. It's not just the Blacks with Alpha rights. Grandpa Sam was an Alpha too. So Dad could claim alphaship, Susie could, hell, even I could. You could be Alpha of you wanted, it doesn't always have to be one of the Blacks, even though they seem to get first pick. Anyway, do you think that maybe this is what we need to strengthen the wolf? Think about it. Jake imprinted on a half-vampire, and they gave birth to Essie. You gotta admit she's one powerful being and it must be what we need for extra protection, otherwise why would Timmy imprint on Tish? And then Essie imprinting on a vampire? This is what the wolf spirit wants.

A way to create more wolves without any leeches nearby? I asked, trying to make sense of what Sammie was saying.

A way to insure that we are always protected. Think what would have happened if the Cullens had been bad vamps when they moved here? Sam would have been way out of his depth, and all because there hadn't been vamps in this area for decades and our ancestors had stopped phasing. Sammie explained.

Good point Sis. I said, deciding to back Sammie, even though I still wasn't quite sure what she was getting at.

I suppose it is, Harry said. I was only theorising anyway. Forget I ever thought it.

Like Essie says, 'sometimes people think things you don't want to hear.' Sammie said with a fond laugh of remembrance.

Exactly. Harry said.

Ok, so let's give this a shot, then we'll discuss this in the morning. I said, feeling wary now.

Well I know my vote. Sammie said defiantly. I will remain leaderless until Essie returns.

---

Time for a Change

Will

Tobias,

I know I've never emailed you before, but then again this isn't something I do a lot. I didn't know how to use computers apart from at school until I came to live with Anya. Well this is weird, just talking into the keyboard, although I guess it avoids all the nervous stuttering, not that I'm as bad as I used to be. But here I am avoiding the point. The thing is Tobias, I'm sick of being me. Ordinary bumbling, fragile old human Will. I know how fleeting this life is, god don't I know! Not to mention how much trouble you and Essie are in now, and I don't want Marlin to get into that trouble. I want her safe on all fronts and that's why I asked her to change me, but she won't. or she's dragging her feet over it. I mean, I hope to be a vampire some day, because I can't imagine any existence without her, so why should we both suffer me aging and growing weak and dying? I know that with her help I'll keep to your diet, I know I won't stray from it coz Marlin will keep me strong. So why shouldn't it be now? It'll be best on all fronts. I'll be more or less around the age she was when she was turned. Or at least with all the shit I've done to myself and had done to me I look older than my years. I'm ready to commit to her now and I know she wants me in every way, but she always finds an excuse not to and I can't think of any more arguments which is why I'm appealing to you. You're good with words and you've known Marlin longer than anyone else so you're my last hope. Please Tobias, talk some sense into her because I really want to be with Marlin forever, but I can't when I'm stuck in this fragile shell. And the longer I'm in this skin the more at risk she is of punishment. Please, please, please I need your help

Will

I didn't bother reading over the email before I hit send. I didn't care about spelling or grammar, I'd poured my heart into that and if Tobias couldn't see that then he wasn't the friend I thought he was. Once I was sure it had sent I deleted the message and logged out of my account. I knew that Anya checked in on my e-mails from time to time and that was one she didn't need to read. I couldn't tell my Aunt what I planned to do, not until I knew for definite what was going on.

I turned off the computer and stood up, stretching out my aching limbs. I'd been sat at the computer longer than I thought. I grabbed my leather jacket and keys, heading for the door.

"Are you going out?" Anya asked before I had chance to leave.

"I'm g-going up to see Marlin." I said.

"Are you sure? I know Justine would just love you to visit." Anya said hopefully.

Justine was a girl about my age from the Res who Anya was trying to fob me off with, she'd rather anything than have me date a vampire. Although she was always polite when her and Marlin met, I knew she didn't approve. But I was through with adults telling me what to do, not that I was ungrateful to Anya, but if she really wanted to turn me away from Marlin then she'd have to come up with someone a lot better than Justine, who was way too chatty for me. She was one of those people who talk and talk without really saying anything important. I find that annoying.

"Marlin's expecting me." I said, to save argument and insult, when would Anya realise that I was a man now with a job that contributed to the household income, if I wanted to date a vampire I would.

"Don't be too late, you have work in the morning." Anya said simply.

I merely said goodbye as I left the house and got into my car. I drove up to Marlin's house under a heavy cloud of guilt over bringing Tobias into this. I had no idea how Marlin would react and I had the sudden notion that the house would just be suddenly empty by the time I got there.

I pressed on the gas, hoping there were no cops about.

I took the turning, you wouldn't know it was there if you didn't know it was actually there and I drove along the long winding drive, my anxiety growing with every inch as I drew nearer the house. But as I came to the last bend where the house was visible I felt relieved to see it was lit up.

I rounded the last bend and parked on the gravel in front of the house, I didn't have the patience to park around the back like I usually did. I jumped out of my car and ran up to the door and knocked.

It was Layla who answered.

"I will see if Marlin is available." She announced grandly before closing the door in my face.

The door opened a second later to reveal Masen looking apologetic.

"Layla's not feeling herself since Sarrin and Evan left." He explained.

"I know." I said with a smile.

"Come in and wait." He said, opening the door wider so I could step inside.

"Thanks." I said and threw in a salute for good measure.

"No problamo." Masen replied.

I went to sit on one of the couches while I waited for Marlin.

She came down the stairs slowly, slowly even for a human and I knew I might be in trouble.

"We need to talk." Marlin said softly as she reached the ground floor.

I nodded my head before I stood and went to stand beside her. She looked up at me with a passive face.

"We shall go to my room." She declared and I nodded in agreement, suddenly sure that if I tried to speak my stutter would be worse than ever.

Marlin took my hand, which was a sign that things weren't as bad as I thought, and she led me up the stairs. We went into her room and sat on the linen chest at the bottom of her bed.

Seemed like she was thinking what to say and I thought it would be better not to interrupt. I waited patiently while she gathered her thoughts.

"I have received word from Tobias offering me advice in the matter of your changing." She said lightly. "His advice is sound and my only grievance is that he is not here to help us. However, I know I am able to do this, to bite you without killing you, and I will do so, but in a year."

"A-a year?"

"Yes. One year. In that time we will travel to wherever you please doing all the things you wish to do before you die. Such as water skiing, climbing a really high mountain. Swimming with dolphins. Disney Land."

"B-b-but these are things I can do after." I pointed out.

"I know dear, but I want you to see the world through human eyes first. Something I never got to do. Then in a year, when you will be closer to the age I was when the shining men came to enslave my village, I will put Tobias' plan into action."

"What's the plan?"

"We will travel deep into the Amazon rainforest, far from habitation, and there we will set up camp. I will then bite you, as many times as I can bear in order to spread my venom within you. Then I will spend three days watching you writhe in agony, knowing there is nothing I can do to cool the fire that engulfs your body. For the fire will burn through you until you become cold. Your heart will stop beating and you will awaken, a newborn vampire thirsty for blood." She said as if she were discussing a holiday itinerary.

"You're not pulling the punches." I joked.

"I want you to know the full extent of what you plan to do. It is not a case of me biting you then, ta-da, you are vampire. It is a case of me biting you followed by three days of unremitting fiery pain and then an eternity of hunger burning your throat whenever you come close to a human. It took me three hundred years to reach the point where I no longer crave human blood in the slightest. Tobias still has the odd compulsion even after five hundred years.

"Our world is dark and dangerous and I want you to know that." Her face was solemn in her warning and I knew it was no joking matter.

"I don't care. We'll be together." I said with a smile.

"I know." Marlin said, taking my hand, "I look forward to our eternity, but I want you to know what the change entails so you are prepared. I could, through my own selfishness, tell you that it is pain free, but I will not. It is better that you know the pain to expect than to experience it without warning."

"Thanks for b-being considerate." I said, giving her hand I gentle squeeze. "I really do appreciate it."

Marlin smiled at me before she placed her other hand to my cheek and kissed my lips lightly before pulling away.

"Now we have much to arrange. We will leave at the weekend." She said promptly.

"But that's only three days away." I gasped.

Marlin gave me a sharp look.

"You are the one who wishes for the change." She pointed out.

I nodded my head.

"Then the sooner we begin the better. Three days will give you enough time to wrap up your human life and then we will leave Forks and commence on our travels."

"Ok. B-b-but I've g-got a l-lot to s-sort out." I said, my stutter returning with a wave of nerves.

"I know and that is why I've given you three days rather than suggest we steal away this night." Marlin said without batting an eyelid. "Now I suggest you go home in order to talk to your Aunt, it is better if she has time to get used to it and you will not leave on bad terms."

I nodded my head, although I was sure Anya wouldn't like this one bit. If I told her now we'd just have three days of awkwardness. But if I didn't tell her now then she'd hate me forever. God it was a tough decision. I guess I had the ride back to La Push to figure out what I wanted to do. If Essie was here I'd ask her, she was always full of good advice, especially since she had the scope on both the vamp and the wolf front. I couldn't ask any of the others, they wouldn't understand why I wanted to do this, but they didn't know what it was like to be nothing and to have no one but a monster. They didn't know the feeling to finally have someone who could see through all your problems to the real person you were. The person you could have been.

I loved Marlin, I knew that, and for some crazy reason she loved me back. After…after my Mom left me, or at least I thought she'd left me, I was with the monster and I was convinced that I could never love and even if I did who could love a messed up little bastard like me? But Marlin did, she saw beyond what the rest saw. She helped me to find who I was. Essie helped too, but really if it hadn't been for Marlin I don't think I'd make the effort.

I guess there were a lot of things that polished this turd, but Marlin was the reason I allowed it. Marlin made me want to change, and if it wasn't for her I would have continued along the same path a destruction. Essie deserved some credit, she played a big part in befriending me in the first place, even if her first name for me had been 'Greasy Joe' and she seemed to turn up in unexpected places and make little changes that made my life better, but Marlin made me want to live, especially after I found out what really happened to Mom.

I still shudder at the thought and I'm glad the monster will rot in jail. Why didn't he just let us go? Why did he have to come home early? I could bleat on about a lot of 'why's and 'what if's but at the end of the day it changed squat. Mom was still dead, thankfully at rest now rather than mouldering beneath a junk heap in the garden, and the monster was still alive, in a cell somewhere…

I shook away the dark thoughts as I decided what to tell Anya, this kind woman who'd taken me into her home even though she'd never met me. Coming to live with Anya was when my life changed for the better and I knew that when I changed I'd never get to enter her house again, but I was sure I could still keep contact. After all the wolf pack seemed friendly enough with the Cullens and the Hannigans, so I could still have time with Anya, even if it was off-Res, although I'd have to wait until my eyes turned gold and I could be around humans again.

She deserved to know as soon as, maybe we could make up before I left.

I realised that I'd been parked outside Anya's house for five minuets. I sighed and unbuckled my seatbelt. This was it. I would tell her first.

Anya was doing paper work when I entered. Part of being a principal seemed to include doing endless supplies of paper work. I felt nervous, but I was determined to let Anya know straight away. She deserved it.

"Anya, c-can I talk to you?" I asked.

Anya looked up, frowned for a moment then smiled.

"Of course." She said, indicating the chair opposite her.

I felt my heart speed and couldn't shake the feeling of being in the principal's office; that was definitely a principal motion. I sat in the chair and entwined my fingers on top of the table and I tried to work out what to say in my head. What was the best way to say 'I'm gonna be a vampire'.

"Will, I'm always here for you, but I'm really busy so I would appreciate it if you just tell me what you want to know." Anya said in a brusque but kind way.

"I d-d-don't w-want to kn-kn-know anything." I stopped, angry at myself, my stutter hadn't been this bad for years.

"This is something very important." Anya observed.

I nodded and I took a moment to think my sentence through.

"You know I love Marlin." I said.

Anya nodded.

"And I want to b-be with her forever."

"When you say forever?" Anya asked, suddenly suspicious.

"Y-you m-m-must have th-thought about this before. That I m-m-might choose this?" I stated.

"Choose what?" Anya demanded, but I could tell from her face that she had a good idea what.

"I'm gonna be a vampire." I said quickly.

"No!" Anya gasped, her hands flying to his mouth. "No. You can't do this."

"It's what I want." I said, my voice steady with my conviction.

"But you'll becoming a vampire. A monster." Anya declared.

"My father was human, he was a monster. I won't be a monster cause Marlin will help me." I said angrily, I was surprised how much my rage was helping my voice.

Anya winced, the thought of what the monster had done still hurt her.

"You're the last family I have." She said softly. "If you die, I have no one."

"You've got Brady and you'll have k-kids soon. You d-don't need me cluttering the place up." I said with a laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

"You're my nephew Will, I've only just found you and you want to leave me so soon?" She asked, there were tears in her eyes but she was fighting them back.

"If I-I'd g-got into college I w-would have gone a year ago." I pointed out.

"But at least I would know where you are and that I'd see you again." Anya replied.

"You'll see me again." I stated.

"No I won't. Yes I'll see somebody called Will, but it won't really be you. You'll be cold stone and red eyes and I'd be always worrying that you want to drink my blood." Anya said, brutally honest in desperation.

"I'd have g-gold eyes and I'll have c-control of my hunger before I asked to talk to you face t-to face again." I murmured, hurt that she'd think I'd put her in danger like that.

"I suppose I can't tell you what you can or cannot do." Anya said.

I sighed sadly, I knew this would be hard on Anya, but it was a different matter to actually see it on her face.

"So when?" She asked.

"I-in a year." I answered.

"So I have time to get used to the idea." She said flatly.

I nodded.

"At least I have another year with you." She said, smiling now she'd found a bright side.

I winced.

"I don't have that long?" She asked.

"Marlin is t-taking me t-travelling f-first." I admitted.

"How nice." Anya said, trying to sound pleased for me but not quite managing. "So when do you leave on your travels?"

"On the weekend."

"So soon? But…" Anya looked devastated.

"It's probably for the best." I mumbled.

Anya looked down for a long while, and then she looked up with a forced smile.

"Then we have to make the most of these three days." She said. "I want to remember my nephew alive."

I nodded my head.

"But I will tell you now. I'd rather you didn't contact me once you become a vampire. I'd rather remember you living and breathing than as cold stone." She said in a sad voice.

That kind of hurt, but if it was what Anya wanted then that's what I'd do. I was getting what I wanted and I couldn't get picky about what people thought of my decision.

"Then I w-won't c-contact you after I'm changed." I promised.

Anya looked as if she wanted to cry but she was too proud to do it in front of me.

"I'll g-go let Gerald know that I won't be w-working there anymore." I said, rising to my feet.

Anya nodded and I gave her a sad smile. I heard her first sob as I closed the door behind me and I realised that was the only thing wrong with my decision, hurting Aunt Anya.

---

…As Good as a Rest?

Marlin

We had been travelling for hours through the rainforest. It would have been quicker if Will had allowed me to carry him, but he had wanted to make this last journey as a human on foot. I could not deny him that experience.

Finally we reached a spot that looked good to make camp, besides, it was starting to get dark and the rainforest was nowhere for a human to wander at night.

"This seems like a good spot." I told Will. "Wait here while I check."

Will nodded.

I smiled at him then ran the fastest ten miles of my life, circling the location that I had chosen for Will to insure there were no human habitations present. Once I was satisfied I followed my own scent back to camp.

Will had found a tree root to sit on while he waited.

"It is perfect." I informed him.

"Good." Will observed smiling nervously at me.

"Now we will set up camp before it's too dark."

First we arranged a ground sheet, this would extend beyond the tent for there were many things in the Amazonian rainforest a human wouldn't want to step on. I set up the tent alone merely because it would save time. We spread out a bedroll and a towel inside and then I stood, wondering what to do next. How should I go about this? Not for the first time in this past year with Will had I wished my brother were here so I could discuss this with him. All I had were his instructions to go on and I hoped that I followed them as he intended.

"First, appearance." I said.

"Appearance?" Will asked with a frown.

"Yes. How do you wish to appear for the rest of eternity? Do you wish to keep the stubble or would you rather be clean shaven?" I asked.

Will shrugged and I sighed.

"Is your hair in the style you wish to spend eternity with?"

"Marlin, I'm no good at this. Just do what you thinks best." Will said softly.

"I like how you look in this moment." I admitted.

"Then w-we can skip the shave and a hair cut." He pointed out.

"Then I guess that all that remains is for you to strip off." I declared.

"Ok." Will said with a shrug as he unzipped his jacket and put it over the camping chair.

"Are you not going to ask why?" I asked as I removed my own jacket.

"You have your reasons." Will observed as he removed his shirt and placed it over the chair too.

I nodded as I placed my jacket on the chair.

"Aren't you stripping too?" He asked with a suggestive grin.

I smiled but shook my head.

"Not this time my dear." I said, "But I need as much of your skin accessible as possible."

"Why?" He asked, stopping in the process of unbuttoning his trousers.

"The more I bite you the quicker my venom will spread and the burning will not last as long." I informed him.

Will nodded, looking sullen now.

His moods were a kaleidoscope of change at the moment, one moment excited, the next sad. There was nervous and apprehensive, and if he hadn't been so adamant on the many times we had discussed it this past year then I would not go ahead with it today. Of course he was allowed to feel all those different emotions, this was a big change for him. A big change for me. A big change for us…

I felt that flutter of worry once more, the one that had been growing exponentially as this day grew closer. I knew Will loved me and that he did indeed wish to spend the rest of eternity with me, but I was fretting because of my past. Because of what happened with Tom. I knew Will was not Tom, he was nothing like Tom, but that still didn't stop me from worrying that he might do the same to thing to me once the venom had hardened his flesh.

"Please, keep your under pants on." I said, "That much flesh might distract me from my task." I added, trying to insert a little humour for Will's sake.

He laughed, but nervously.

"You can still back out." I said, looking him in the eye.

He shook his head.

"I w-want this." He said, "I-I'm j-just a little nervous."

"I'd be worried if you weren't." I said, hugging him, leaning my head against his chest.

I felt sad as I did so, knowing this would be the last time I would feel him warm. He put his arms around me and hugged me back. I closed my eyes, carefully taking in his scent, listening to his heartbeat and the air moving through his lungs. I wanted to preserve everything to memory as insurance for every eventuality.

It was hard to step away from him, but I could feel the goose bumps rising on his bare flesh and he was starting to shiver. Besides, the sooner we started the better.

"Very well. We shall begin." I said, and motioned him into the tent.

Will entered the tent and I followed. I pulled the flaps down for a little privacy, but I refrained from zipping it closed in case I needed to exit quickly. Will sat in the tent looking a little awkward.

I touched his cheek softly and kissed his lips gently before I whispered, "Lie back."

Will obeyed although his heart had started pounding and he kept swallowing in his nervousness. Now that I was about to take human blood for the first time in nearly seventy years I became transfixed with the bobbing of his Adams apple. I stroked his throat, unable to stop myself.

I shook my head to focus my mind, bite not feed, bite not feed. I moved my hand to his cheek and leant forward to kiss Will the human for the last time. I looked into his frightened dark brown eyes and I smiled reassuringly at him, stroking his soft dark hair until he relaxed a little.

"Shall we start in the traditional place?" I asked, locating the pulse in his neck with my fingers.

Will nodded.

I smiled once more, and then bracing myself for the inevitable rush I darted in and bit. Will gasped, but merely for the sting, the fire would not have started yes. As the taste of his blood blossomed in my mouth I moved my head away quickly and bit again. I continued with my mantra, bite not feed, the more bites I could manage the faster his change would prove. I forced myself to continue even after he began to scream and writhe.

But his screams and writhing awoke the monster within, the part that wanted the blood. I held my breath, rose to my feet and shot out of the tent. I didn't want to travel too far from Will so I climbed the nearest tree. Even the lowest branches were fairly high, but from here I could still see the tent.

I could hear his screams, but even as conditioned as I was I would not be able to return to him while his blood still flowed human. In about fifteen minuets I would be able to return to him. By that time the wounds would have closed over and the venom will have started to change him. We were past the point of no return.

I sobbed silently with aching in my unbeating heart. My Will was dying down there, becoming this cold creature that I was. I had not wanted this for him, but everyone had warned me that this was a possibility if I wished to be in a serious relationship with him. I want Will, forever and always, but I want my human Will. That's not to say I won't love him just the same when he is vampire, but…

I could stand his cries no more. I took a deep breath of fresh air and dropped down to the ground. I went into the tent, this time zipping it closed behind me. I sat next to Will's writhing form as I took his hand.

"Shhhh…" I soothed, stroking at his feverish forehead.

I knew any words of comfort would be no good against the fire, but if I could give him even the smallest amount of peace in the midst of the inferno I would.

I sat next to him for the three days, his cries growing and diminishing. Although a few times I left his side to make his awakening easier. At the beginning of the second day his skin was more or less vampire, no more human pores, all the changes were internal now. I rolled out the other bedroll and placed a clean blanket on top of it ready.

I took the soap and water I had brought and began to wash the traces of blood and sweat that clung to Will's skin. This was an important part of the process; it stopped the newborn from being driven mad by the scent of their own blood. I slipped into my nurse persona as I removed his under pants and I transferred him over to the other bedroll. I dressed him in a tracksuit, something that was easy to move in for the first hunt.

I then gathered up the other bedroll, the towel, washcloth and all and carried them outside. I had been fairly careful when biting my Will but to be on the safe side I changed my own clothes. Then I put everything into the steel bucket I had brought and adding some kerosene from the camping lantern I set it alight.

I waited until the flames had died down before I returned to the tent; the last thing I needed to deal with was wild fire.

I stayed at Will's side and halfway through the second day he started having bouts of lucidity, he would cry out for me then and I'd have to reassure him that I was there.

It was the dawn of the third day that I felt the scritching at my mind. It was like static at first, but finally it tuned in.

Marlin, how are you?

Masen! I cried in thought in my relief, knowing that he picked up directed thoughts better, I'm doing fine, I think Will has a day left before he is fully changed. Is Layla with you?

Hi Marlin. Yes, Layla's with me. He replied.

And Ebony? I asked, hoping they'd remembered my suggestion.

She's staying with Nahuel for a while. I think she's taken a shine to him. Masen replied with a chuckle.

Oh great! Not again. I thought.

That's what Layla said. Masen thought back. I think we'll be with you in about five minuets.

I'll see you then. I thought, but then Will had a lucid moment and I turned my attention back to him.

When I was aware of the others outside the tent I went out to greet them.

"Marlin!" Layla gasped. "It's so good to see you again big sister." She added as she hugged me.

"And it does me good to see you again little sister." I replied, crushing her to me, surprised at how much I'd missed her crazy company.

It felt good to be reunited with her, I felt as I did whenever I met back with Tobias after an absence. I breathed in her scent, relishing in the fact that I had her back with me. My sister. My family.

Layla and I broke apart and she retuned to Masen. I smiled at both of them.

"I'm glad you could make it." I said. "I wasn't sure if you'd condone this."

"Of course we do." Masen answered. "We want you to be happy, and this was Will's choice. We know you didn't coerce him into it. We're here to help you and to teach him."

I smiled at both of them.

"Thank you." I said.

"No problamo. So. How long before he's done?" I had answered this already, but perhaps Masen was making small talk.

"Not long now." I answered. "Less than a day."

"What would you like us to do?" Masen asked.

"Anything you wish. Just stay near and I will call you if I need you. I think it best I am the only one present when he awakens for the last time for it is a confusing time indeed."

"I remember." Masen said kindly. "We'll be about if you need us." He assured me.

"Thank you." I said fondly.

Then without another word I returned to the tent, zipping it closed behind me.

It was another ten hours before I finally felt the cool in his hand. I sat up straight, thankful that this was almost over.

His breathing was frantic now, his body fighting for the last ounces of life as the venom rushed to claim his racing heart. I heard it in its increasing pace as Will gave out a moan. He seemed to levitate for a moment as his heart beat at an unbelievable speed, but then he fell back to the bedroll. His heart gave one last laborious beat before it fell silent forever.

He was still, his eyes still closed as his nostrils flared.

"Will?" I asked cautiously, placing my hand to his cheek.

He frowned at first, but then his eyes snapped open, crimson in his pale face. He focused on me, frightened at first, but then his expression softened.

"Marlin." He sighed and before I could react I was pressed beneath him as he kissed me full on the lips.

I kissed him back, ready to accept all his passions as he pressed his body to mine.

"You feel warm." He whispered huskily in my ear as he stroked his hand over my cheek and down the length of my body.

"So do you." I replied with a breath.

"How is that? You were so cold before." He observed.

"And now you are too. We are the same temperature." I stated.

He let out a contented hum.

"You smell so good." He said, snuffling near my ear. "You did before, but now…"

I sighed softly as he kissed my neck.

"It is our enhanced senses my dear. And you yourself smells divine, and pure joy now that the burn has gone." I murmured, lost in his caresses.

"Burn?" He asked, rising his head and looking down at me with those crimson eyes. "What is the burning in my throat? Is that the hunger?"

I nodded my head.

"Wow." He said, sitting up and running his fingers though his hair. "I didn't think it would feel like this. So demanding."

"It is in the first year, until you grow used to it." I explained, sitting up too.

He looked at me then a little worried.

"Does it ever go away?" He asked.

"Not really. But in time you will learn to ignore it. It hardly registers with me these days. The trick is not to feed off human blood. The more human blood you drink the more you crave it. That is why we feed on animal blood. It also makes us less hostile toward each other."

Will nodded.

"So you wanna go hunt?" I asked with a smile.

He froze for a moment before frowning.

"Hunt?" He asked.

"You are a newborn. You are hungry. Let's feed you before you get out of control." I said grinning.

Will nodded.

"Come on." I said, offering him my hand.

Will took it and I led him out of the tent.

There was a rustle in the trees and the sound of approaching feet. Will hissed and dropped into a fighting stance.

"It's only Layla and Masen." I said in soothing tones as they emerged from the trees.

Will was panting heavily as if he was preparing to exert himself and he seemed reluctant to relax. Layla and Masen stopped where they were looking worried.

"It's ok." I whispered, turning to him and placing my hand to his cheek.

He turned to me, looked into my eyes, and seemed to visibly relax. He straightened out of his defensive stance, but now he looked a little embarrassed.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"Don't worry." Masen said. "You're new to this. It's just getting used to the fact that your senses are all heightened now. Things might sound louder. At least you don't have to deal with other people's thoughts." He added and winked.

"I guess that's something." Will said with a chuckle.

"Why William, look at how pale you are." Layla declared. "You're wasting away my boy. We must get some food in you."

"Then let us go hunt." I said. "Have either of you hunted with a newborn before?"

They shook their heads.

"Then you must make sure you do not present a threat when the hunting instinct kicks in. If Will perceives you as a threat then he will attack you." I informed them. "You won't be able to help yourself I'm afraid." I said, turning to Will. "We become territorial when we hunt."

Will nodded.

"Then let us begin the hunt. We will move away from the camp. You do not want to catch your scent trail coming in and end up hunting yourself." I said with a smile.

Will laughed.

"Then we will run." I declared, offering my hand.

Will took my hand and we began ghosting through the trees with Masen and Layla close behind us. I knew that Will wouldn't perceive them as a threat yet, but we would have to be careful once he was deep in the hunt. That was why I provided him with such a vast hunting rage, control he could learn later.

Will gave a laugh of exhilaration.

"Enjoying yourself?" I asked.

"This is even better than when you were carrying me."

"It's the sense of freedom is it not?" I observed.

"That's what it is. Freedom." He agreed.

"Let us slow now." I said. "So that we may stop. I think it's time for you to scent your prey."

We slowed to a stop and Will stood, watching me expectantly.

"Very well." I said. "Close your eyes and listen, listen to the sounds around you."

Masen and Layla stopped near us, close enough in case they were needed, but not too close as to spook Will if he sensed them as dangerous. Will glanced at them a moment before closing his eyes. After a moment he began to move his head this way and that, a slight smile on his face.

"I can hear them." He whispered. "All scuttling about. Climbing, crawling, flying. They're here."

"Yes. Now inhale. Slowly through your nose, allow the scents to catch you and to guide you. When you have a scent, follow it. We will be close behind to guard your back. Remember, if you sense someone following you it is us, your family." I said softly, giving him something to hold onto when the instincts kicked in.

Will opened his eyes and looked into mine.

"My family." He whispered. "We protect each other."

"Yes my love."

He grinned before closing his eyes and his face relaxed.

He followed my instructions and I knew when he had caught a scent because he sprang away from me, racing through the trees. I followed close on his heal with Masen and Layla keeping a discreet distance behind. I had no idea what he hunted but it had him excited. I allowed myself a sniff of the air to insure it was not a human trail. No, it was sloth if I wasn't mistaken.

I smiled; marvelling at this speed while his prey would prove to be so slow. I didn't laugh however because I needed to make him confident in his hunting. I didn't want him to think that it was his technique I found funny rather than his choice of prey.

Finally we grew close, I could tell by the change in Will's pace. I had stopped breathing, I did not want to hunt his prey and so that leant the safer option. Will shot up a tree and there was the sound of whooping and barking and it began to rain mammals.

I picked one up by its ringtail as it ran by and it struggled, trying to nip at me. I ignored it as the other animals dispersed. I looked up at the canopy and Will dropped down next to me with a limp body in his hand.

"What's this?" He asked.

"It is a coati." I answered. "Would you like another?" I asked, holding the still struggling animal up for him to see.

"You caught it, it's yours." He said with a shrug as he dropped his coati to the floor.

I shrugged nonchalant, but I was a little perplexed by his action, newborns found it hard to give over prey. I didn't think on it too much, merely thanked my lucky star that he was not as demanding as other newborns. I bit into the coati and delighted in the flow of blood, I had not realised how thirsty I was, but then I had teased my taste buds with Will's blood without following through on the promise.

I dropped the coati and found that Will had been watching me quietly. I giggled, I couldn't help it.

"What's so funny?" He asked with a smile.

"I thought you were hunting a sloth." I explained.

"Why?" He asked.

"When I smelled the air that is what you were tracking." I said with a shrug.

"Oh. Ok. So that first scent was sloth. Got it. I was tracking it, but then I caught the scent of something better, but it turned out to be these weird looking rat things." He said, indicating the coati at his feet.

"Raccoons." Layla chirped in.

"Sorry?" Will said.

"They are a form of raccoon." Layla explained.

"Oh." Will observed with a frown.

"Yes. Layla is right. But it is not important." I said pointedly, hoping Layla was sane enough at the moment to catch my hint. "The point is that coati are omnivorous. Their diet is varied, much like that of humans. It holds more appeal than herbivore blood. Although carnivore blood is the most palatable."

"That makes sense." Will said with a nod.

"It is good to learn the species in your hunting range so you know what to hunt. It also helps to stop you from killing too many species that are endangered." I explained, because there was a lot more planning that went into hunting vegetarian style than merely finding the bad part of town and tracking the nearest low-lives.

"They're not…" Will asked, looking guilty.

"No." I said, placing my hand to his cheek. "We can feed from them, but not too many."

"Preservation?" He asked.

"Yes. We don't want our food stock to run out." I observed, and that was the point really.

"Wow!" Will gasped suddenly. "You look so much different through these eyes. I mean you look exactly the same, but different at the same time. Does that make sense?"

"Absolutely." I said sincerely.

Will pressed his lips to mine and was perhaps a little over enthusiastic when he hugged me.

"Watch the strength mister." I said with a chuckle. "Remember you are stronger than me now."

"Sorry." He said, letting go of me and stepping away.

He turned his face away from me sadly.

"Don't be foolish." I said, placing my hand against his chin and bringing him to look at me. "You are a newborn, still learning. You did not mean to hurt me, and now you know you are stronger than before."

"It'll take concentration." Will stated.

"As much as I have used over the last four years." I said softly, brushing his hair behind his ear.

"And I was a fragile human then." He remarked.

"But I'd had centuries of practicing gentility." I replied. "And it will not take much concentration, just be wary that's all."

"Ok." He said.

I smiled before I pressed my lips to his. I pulled back a little.

"Are you still hungry?" I asked.

He frowned for a moment then nodded his head.

"I think I am." He murmured.

"Then we will hunt some more." I said.

We hunted for a couple of hours until I was satisfied that Will was well a truly full. Layla and Masen left us once it was clear that Will was no danger for the time being. As night fell Will's excitement grew.

"I can see so well even though it's dark." He said, "It's amazing."

"Yes." I said, "Truly amazing."

"And everything still has colour. Your eyes, they still look gold." He observed, stroking my cheek with his hand as he pressed his body close to mine. "You're so beautiful."

"Oh darling man." I whispered, kissing the left side of his neck, the place I had first bit. "My beloved." I added as I kissed the right side of his neck, eliciting a delightful sigh from him. "You are still my dearest Will." I finished and kissed his lips. "I was wrong to worry." I murmured, lowering my head.

Will placed his hands gently beneath my chin and he guided my head up so I would look at him.

"What had you worried?" He asked.

"I was foolish, but I had been hurt before. But you are not him. You are nothing like him. You are Will and we belong together." I said, feeling the rush of happiness through me as it finally sank in.

"You're talking about that Tom guy." Will stated.

"How do you know about him?" I asked in shock.

"I may have been a human with inferior hearing, but that don't mean I was deaf. I heard you talking about him, I can't remember when, but he was a fool to leave you. It's a bit weird really. I'm mad at him for hurting you, but then I'm glad he's out of the picture because I wouldn't have you then." He said sincerely.

I gasped at his words and we met in a kiss, a true passionate one now, and our tongues dancing as our bodies came together. When true mates are caught in the throws of passion no cloth stands a chance and in no time we were both naked in the jungle darkness and I knew the thrill of sex without restraint for the first time in centuries.

It felt delightful to know I could not accidentally murder my bed partner, or that he would soon exhaust and need his sleep. We were now together for eternity and we could allow our bodies to delight in their passions over and over, only ceasing when hunger and decorum demanded.

Will enjoyed himself thoroughly and boy was he vocal about it. He whispered and cried out every flash of feeling and although I would have considered it off-putting, I found it to be endearing.

We moved between our lovemakings until we found ourselves on a hill as the sun broke over the horizon. Will blinked at the sudden burst of light while I smiled, as I lay cradled in his arm.

"Watch." I said as the sunlight washed over our bare bodies and our skin danced with light.

Will ran his hand all over my skin, chasing the sparkle, and I felt the tingling thrills, as I wanted him once more. I caressed his skin too, following the lines of his gangly body and noting the smoothness. I felt gladdened that the monster's marks had been erased from the skin of my beloved.

"I promise that no harm will come to you ever again." I whispered, placing my hand against his sparkling cheek.

"And I promise that no harm will come to you." Will replied. "My Marlin." He added in a fierce growl as he placed his lips to mine once more.

I smiled against his lips as our bodies showed once more how compatible they were. I knew I would never tire of this, but I also knew that Layla and Masen would return to us again soon. After we blessed the dawn I forced myself to rise to my feet and I held my hand to Will.

He looked up at me with curiosity.

"We must dress. Layla and Masen will join us soon and we are to return to civilization." I explained, my hand still outstretched.

"Why?" Will asked, taking my hand and pulling me back down into his lap. "Can't we stay here forever? There's lots of prey and no humans around. We could live like spirits, a natural part of this forest."

"That would be nice." I sighed, melting into him. "But we have family, and responsibility. We have all night to make love, but in the days we must function."

"I think I can just about maybe live with that." Will said sadly, although he was joking.

"I promise you it will be more spectacular if we have to wait out the day." I whispered.

Will had been raining gentle kisses on my cheek and neck, but now I felt his cheeks pull up in a smile.

"Now that's the incentive I need." He declared rising to his feet with me cradled in his arms.

I giggled as I clung around his neck.

"To the campsite!" He declared in a superhero voice.

"At once." I replied through a fit of giggles.

Will planted a big kiss on my cheek before he took off running in the direction of the tent. He found it without any problem and placed me on my feet before he kissed me again. I was melting into him until I remembered we would soon have company.

"We should dress." I said against his lips.

"Of course." He relied in the same way.

"Am I to be the strong one here?" I asked, unable to pull away.

"Yes." He answered, "I can't stop." He said as he moved his lips to kiss my neck.

I gasped in pleasure, but then I felt the scritch of Masen's searching mind. I jumped away from Will with a fright.

"We must dress for Layla and Masen are upon us." I declared.

Will nodded looking a little startled.

"You felt it too?" I asked.

Will nodded again.

"You'll grow used to it and at least his mind voice is not as potent as Essie's." I said with a chuckle.

"Essie's voice is stronger?"

"That is not the issue here." I said, realising we were discussing these matters naked.

I had no real qualm with nakedness, during the heat of summer many of my people would shed their clothing to stay cool and the warriors of my people are notorious for going to battle naked. The fate of battle lay with the gods and if this was your day to die no amount of armour would change that. A blessing of the druids was enough to encourage your success.

I had blessed the warriors the day the shining men came to battle us. They shone like the melting ice beneath the weak winter sun. I thought we could defeat creatures of stone. I had been wrong.

I shook myself from the depths of my thoughts, why would I think of that now?

"We must dress." I said, and I was a whirlwind pulling my last set of clothing from my pack and dressing.

Will followed my lead and dressed in the clothes he had worn to treck out here. They still had traces of his human scent and he frowned as he dressed.

"Burns the throat?" I asked.

Will nodded.

"Is it weird that I'm smelling myself and thinking I'm mighty tasty?" He asked.

"It happens to us all." I said. "Had I but thought I would have destroyed those too. Is it wholly unbearable?"

"I think I can manage." He said nodding his head.

I nodded.

We were dressed in time for Layla and Masen who choose that moment to emerge from the trees.

"Good morning." Masen said brightly. "Did you have a good night?"

"The best." Will said promptly, a goofy smile on his face.

"Did you have lots and lots of sex? Because we did." Layla announced.

I rolled my eyes but Will was unfazed.

"You bet'cha." He said and winked.

Layla let out her melodious laugh.

"Is there nothing better in this eternal life of ours?" She asked wistfully.

"No." I said firmly, trying to end the conversation. "Now come children, we have much to do."

"The quicker we do it the quicker we can get back to sha…"

"Layla!" I snapped, cutting her off.

"Yes. Of course. It's inappropriate at this time." She declared, giving Masen a wistful look.

"Let's just pack." I said.

We packed in a rather awkward silence, but we needed order here and it seemed I was the one who had to enforce it.

By the time we had everything packed I was feeling annoyed that I had to play the leader card while at the same time I was worried that this would put Will off. I was highly conflicted.

"I get it." He said to me as we were running through the rainforest back to our cars. "You're the coven leader. You have to order us around from time to time."

I nodded.

"Is it wrong that it kind of turns me on?" He asked in such a hushed voice that I was sure only I heard it.

I burst out laughing.

"Great goddess you know the right things to say Will dearest."

"And there's the Marlin I adore. Happy and carefree." He paused a moment. "But I like dominant Marlin too."

I laughed and took his hand. I realised that Will would love me no matter what, and as we ran toward our uncertain future I felt as light as the air.

---

First Blood

Hunter

"When we go hunting you might find it a little disconcerting at first to bite into the animal but it's the best way to get to the blood." Mom said.

"Yeah I know." I replied.

"This is no case to be flippant Hunter. I need you fully focused."

"And I will be Mom. Let's just go hunt." I replied, feeling excited to do this.

Ok, so my dreams aren't all vampires and blood sucking, but this was brill. It meant I was growing up, I'd be getting powers soon and I wouldn't just be a kid.

"Ok Hunter. Up on my back." Mom said, turning her back to me.

I took a running leap until I landed piggyback style on Mom's back and she grabbed my legs to hold me safe before she started tearing through the trees. I loved it when mom or Dad took me running and I could feel the air cold against my cheeks. I couldn't wait until I could run this fast on my own.

It was weird, but I knew when we left Quileute territory, it was something to do with the feel of the air, and the smell. It was much thicker on our turf than it was out here in vampire land.

Mom took me far away from the border, way past the big white house where I was born. It was empty now; it had been for a few years. Grandma and Grandpa stopped by now and then but I usually visited them in Rose Cottage since it was more hidden and was rented out as a holiday cottage so people wouldn't suspect a thing if they did see cars around there.

We were deep into the woods and there was no smell of werewolf around here. Just plants and animals and nature.

Hunter, there are deer over that ridge, now we're going to be very quiet as we go to the top. We don't want to spook them too early or they'll be harder to catch. Mom said, using her mind-talking trick.

I nodded my head since I didn't want to make any noise.

Mom crept up to the top of the little hill, keeping down low. Once at the top she stopped and helped me off her back. I knelt next to her looking down to the little clearing below where a group of deer were eating roots and drinking from the cool stream.

Now Hunter, you need to let yourself go with your instincts. Smell the air and when you catch the scent your body will know what to do. Mom said into my head.

I nodded again and closed my eyes, sniffing at the air. The smells I got were all mixed up. There was the rotting leaves from last fall mixed with less disgusting smell of the pine needles. The deer hides were a little fousty but it was deer smell, my brain knew that even though I didn't. The smell of the water was cool and clean as it washed over the stones. It gurgled and flowed and was tinkly compared to the beat and more rhythmic flow I could hear.

Heat and wetness and life, that's what I needed.

I was running, sprinting down the other side of the hill moving so fast the trees were a blur. The deer seemed to be in slow motion as one lifted its head I was already at the bottom, rushing toward the group as black liquid eyes met mine and the deer scattered, but they were ridiculously slow.

I jumped and landed on the back of one of the big ones as it bumped through the trees. I wound my arms around its neck and thought I'd fall off.

"Bite Hunter!" I heard Mom call.

I bit and warm liquid squirted into my mouth. I was shocked at first; I didn't expect it to squirt out so fast. I pulled my head back and watched red blood run down white fur. But then the taste registered in my mind and it was so delicious I put my mouth back to the hole I'd made and began drinking as the deer sank to its knees.

The blood didn't last long and I had this weird sense of the creeps as the deer's heart stopped beating and it finally died. It was like I could feel the spirit leave it, but that was just stupid.

I stood up but I still felt hungry and there was a deer nearby, too scared or stupid to run away. I jumped at it and caught it. I was better at drinking this time; the gushing blood didn't come as such a shock. I drank until this one was empty too.

My mind felt funny. There was a whining in my ears and then I heard Mom's mind.

…Now where did Hunter go…

It wasn't like her normal mind voice, like when she talked to me. It was her mind, in my mind. I realised that I was reading her mind just like Grandpa could.

This is so cool. I thought.

"What is?" Mom asked as she came from around a bush.

"I can read your mind." I said with a grin.

"And you spoke with you mind too I think." Mom said.

"Cool!"

"It is. Now let's wash most of that blood off in the stream and then head home to change." Mom said as she put her hand on my shoulder.

"Change?" I asked with a frown.

"Look at your t-shirt." She said with a smile.

I looked down and it was covered with blood.

"It can be messy at first." She said, "But you'll learn."

I nodded my head and Mom led me back to the stream.

I knelt down beside it and cupped the water in my hands before bringing it up to my face and washing away the blood. The water felt good against my skin and I was noting that things were a lot clearer. I could hear more than before and I could smell more. This was awesome.

I felt lighter too, and a lot faster and stronger. I knew I could jump to the top of the hill if I wanted and I wouldn't need a run up.

Let's go home. Mom said and we started running.

We were both running and I wasn't as fast as Mom had been earlier but I sure was faster than I ever had been before. I laughed, happy to feel the wind whip in my hair as we jumped streams and logs and dodged trees. Soon the smell of werewolf was strong in the air and I knew I was nearly home. I was looking forward to going out to play with my friends cause I'd been cooped up the last few days where I'd been ill.

I almost ran straight around the house without going in but Mom caught my arm and I went in to change. Which was probably a good thing since in my bloodstained t-shirt I looked like a reject from a zombie movie.

I washed quickly and changed and hurried out the door with Mom saying, "Don't go far." Which really meant 'don't go off the Res'.

A lot of the adults have jobs here on the Res so there was always somebody about. And the big kids bossed us about when the adults weren't around so it meant we could travel a little further from our houses than kids in big cities could.

After half an hour I was angry. Turned out all the kids had gone with Auntie Sammie up to the old lake for swimming. That meant I was stuck here on my own. Boring!

"Hi Hunter!" A familiar voice called.

I turned to see Tina sitting up on the high wall sucking on a lolly.

"Hi Tina." I called back. "How come you didn't go swimming with the rest?"

"Didn't want to." She said with a shrug, taking her lolly from her mouth to talk, it was a red one. "I thought you was ill."

"I was, but Mom figured it out and I'm better now." I answered.

"What was it?" She asked,

I looked around and found no one was watching me so I backed a few paces and took a running jump at the high wall. I landed on it, but I had to pull myself around so I could sit next to Tina. She gasped and looked at me in shock.

"What I needed was blood." I whispered.

It was ok to tell Tina this cause she was the only other kid on the Res who was the same as me. Heck, she was the only other kid the same as me in the whole entire world. We were the only people ever to have vampire blood and werewolf blood in them at the same time and I guess that made us family. Sort of. In a way.

Tina is two years younger than me, well one and a half if I'm being honest and is so annoying at times, but if anyone else said that about her I'd rip their heads off. I guess I think of Tina as my little sister cause that's what it feels like. She's my little sister and that means I have to protect her, but it also means I get to do the cool stuff before her.

"You went hunting?" She asked and she was so jealous.

"Yep." I answered proudly.

"So…You're Hunter the hunter now." She giggled.

Sometimes Tina could be annoying like that.

I shrugged, not really wanting to fight right now.

"When do I get a go?" She demanded. Sometimes Tina forgot she was two years younger than me.

"When you're eight I guess." I said with a shrug.

Tina seemed to be thinking for a moment.

"You want one?" She asked, pulling a lolly from her pocket and offering it to me.

I took it and unwrapped it and put it in my mouth.

"They're tongue painter ones." Tina said and she poked out her tongue, which was very red.

"Cool." I said back as I sucked on the blue lolly.

"You'll have a blue tongue." She told me.

I shrugged.

"Blue's a good colour."

Tina giggled before she was thinking again.

"Hey, maybe I'll get to go before you." She said with a red stained grin.

"Sure, sure." I said around my lolly.

"Anyway." She declared having guessed I was lying. "I've been hunting myself and found something interesting."

"What?" I asked.

"Come and see." She said all mysterious as she jumped off the wall.

I jumped too and landed quietly by her side.

"So what is it?" I asked and Tina jumped out of her skin.

I scared her, but she didn't want me to know and she was convincing that I hadn't scared her when she said, "This way."

I followed her back nearly to my house, but that's not where she was taking me. We went into the woods a little way and I was a little worried because we weren't allowed in the woods on our own, not that it ever stopped me and my friends, but Tina was only six and this was too dangerous for her.

I followed her anyway, wondering what she'd found. It was a tree with low branches, you didn't find many around since we were mostly cedar and spruce here, but Tina had found one. She held her arms wide to it as she smiled at me.

"Don't you think we could make a good tyre swing off this?" She asked.

"Sure could." I said, placing my hand against the trunk and looking up at the branches. "When the others come back we'll have to hitch one up."

"We could do it now." Tina suggested.

"Nah!" I said at once, I didn't think Tina was up to it.

"Why?" She demanded. "You don't think I can climb it do you?"

"It'll just be easier with more of us." I said, not wanting her to feel like a baby.

"Not really." She said. "I've seen you do it before. All you need is one to climb an the other to pass up the rope."

"It's more than that." I said, hoping she'd change her mind.

Tina snorted, and then before I could stop her she jumped up and was scrambling onto the lowest branch. She was reaching for the next branch when I realized what was going on.

"Tina, come back down." I called, but she just kept on climbing higher. "Ok. We'll build a swing, just come down."

Tina stopped.

"You promise?" She asked.

"Cross my heart." I said, crossing my heart with my hand.

"Ok."

She shuffled about a bit, but froze again.

"Err…Hunter?" She said in a small voice.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"I can't get down." She said, her voice panicky.

"Come on Tina, stop messing around." I said, cause she did this sometimes.

"I'm not! I'm stuck!" She cried.

"You can't be." I snorted.

"I am."

"If you climbed up you can climb back down." I stated.

"Hunter. I'm scared."

I groaned as I wondered what to do. If I went for help we'd both be in big trouble. Tina would be in trouble for climbing trees and I'd be in trouble for letting her. There was only one thing I could do. Get her down myself.

Well I'd always been the best climber and now I'd had blood I'd be even better. I could save her and I knew it. I just knew it. I began to climb and quicker than I thought, I was on the branch below Tina.

"You're shaking the tree." She moaned and she had her eyes shut tight.

"No I'm not." I said, "So what's the problem?"

"I can't climb back down." She mumbled.

"If you climbed up here you can climb back down. Come on, I'll help you."

"I can't." She said, clinging to the tree.

"Yes you can. Or are you a baby?" I teased.

"I'm not a baby." She growled.

"Then climb down this tree." I said. "Come on, move this leg first." And I tapped her left leg.

She slid it off the branch and I grabbed her ankle, guiding her foot down.

"Don't forget to move your hands as well." I told her.

Tina moved her one hand down to the branch she'd been standing on, as I made sure her foot was properly on the same branch as me. Now she was a little awkward, but she didn't need any encouragement to move her other hand and foot. I held her steady as she moved, more to make her feel safer cause I didn't think I could really stop her falling if she did slip.

Then she was on the branch next to me clinging to the one above her, she still had her eyes closed.

"Now that wasn't so bad was it?" I asked.

Tina shook her head and managed a smile.

"Now let's climb down the rest of the tree." I suggested.

It was slow going at first, but then we reached the point where Tina seemed to be able to climb down herself. When we reached the lowest branch I stopped while Tina climbed down to the floor. I hooked my legs over the branch and hung upside down.

Tina scowled up at me.

"You'll fall." She said, crossing her arms.

"No I won't." I said, letting my arms dangle. "Cause I'm Hunter Black and I never fall."

"Just like you didn't fall in the lake last time we were all up there?" Tina asked.

"That wasn't really falling. Jade pushed me, and that was before I had blood. I had blood now and that makes me a vampire and vampires don't fall off things." I replied.

"But you're also half human and humans fall off things all the time." She said.

"Not this human." I said firmly. "Ain't you seen those what y'macall them on TV. Those guy in the tights."

"Wrestlers?" She suggested.

"No. They swing off things." I said.

"Trapeze?"

"Yeah them. They never fall off." I pointed out.

"Only cause they've practiced for years and years and years and they're the best at what they do. The one's who aren't so good never go on TV cause they fall off too much and they're dead." Tina said firmly.

"But I always do this. Ask anyone, this is my thing."

"Hanging upside down?" She asked.

"Yep." I answered.

"Not much of a thing." She declared, folding her arms.

"It's one of my things." I said defensively.

Tina snorted.

"I think you're just jealous cause you can't do it." I said angrily.

Tina shook her head and turned away from me.

"Sorry." I said, "I shouldn't have said that."

I reached back up for the branch and pulled myself up so I could sit on top of it.

"I'll teach you how to do it." I said. "And this too."

I turned around onto my stomach and grabbed hold of the branch before I let myself drop over the side. I dangled from the branch by my arms, my legs swinging below me.

Tina looked up at me, "I can do that one." She said.

"Well that's a start." I said with a grin.

I felt strange, my head felt as if it was floating and there was fluttering in my tummy. My hands slipped and I was sitting on the forest floor with Tina kneeling next to me looking worried.

"Are you ok?" She asked.

"We need to go this way." I said, jumping to my feet and grabbing her hand.

"Where?" She asked.

"This way." It was hard to explain, I just knew I had to go this way. I had to find something that I knew about but I didn't and it was kinda scary, but I had to know what I had to find.

"I think you bumped your head when you fell." Tina said as she ran to keep up.

"I didn't hurt my head." I said. "This is…this is something else."

We were back at my house around the side of it by a clump of old weeds and thorns. I knew I had to go in there, that's where I would find what I needed to find. Somewhere in the middle of the tangle and darkness.

I reached out for the bushes.

"There could be something bad in there." Tina warned, putting a hand on my arm to stop me.

"It's not bad." I said frowning.

"How do you know?"

"I just do." I said, "I need something to cut this."

I went around to the front of the house where there was a little tool shed that held the stuff Dad needed to keep our little space cleared. It was a good thing people trusted people on the Res and the door was unlocked.

I opened the door and grabbed some hedge clippers and the pair of gardening gloves. Tina took out the other pair of gloves and I gave her a look.

"It's quicker if I help." She said.

"Ok." I said and we headed back to the side of the house.

"Hunter Lee Black what are you doing with those clippers?" Mom demanded.

"What?" I looked up at her feeling guilty. "Me and Tina here are gonna do some yard work."

"Really?"

I nodded my head and grinned.

"Well go on then." She said, folding her arms and leaning against the post, it was clear I had to prove my lie now.

"Ok." I said, stepping up to the nearest hedge and I clipped at it.

I looked up at Mom and she continued to watch. I grumbled quietly as I continued to clip at the bush and Tina grabbed some of the leaves and put them into a refuse sack.

"I've seen enough." Mom said, "Bring the clippers here Hunter."

I groaned and moved toward the house and handed them over.

"Thanks." She said, taking them gingerly. "Now stay out of the tool shed unless Dad is with you."

"Yes Mom." I said, kicking at a weed in the dirt path.

"Ok. Now go and play, I'll call you for dinner. Would you like to stay for some?" Mom directed at Tina.

"Sure Auntie Ness. That would be great." Tina said with a smile.

"Ok. I'll give your mom a ring."

"See you later Mom." I said cheerfully, heading back to Tina.

"Ok. And I mean it Hunter. Stay out of the tool shed. That goes for you too Tina." Mom added, she knew me too well.

"Yes Auntie Ness." Tina said all angelic.

I gave a wave then pulled Tina around the side of the house.

"I don't know what to do now." I said, looking at the thorns, "Maybe I can pull them out with my gloves on."

"It's a shame." Tina said.

"Yeah." I sighed.

"That your mom told me not to go in the shed again." Tina continued.

"Yeah I know." I said, a little angry now cause she was rubbing it in.

"Because now I don't know how I'm supposed to put these back." She said holding up the small clippers.

I gaped at her.

"I wanted to help and I didn't want to do just the cleaning. I guess your mom didn't see the them cause they were so small." Tina chattered on.

"I guess." I said.

"Here you go." She said, handing them to me.

I smiled as I took them and began cutting at the stems. It probably took longer than it would have done with the big clippers, but I guess it was safer than just ripping at the thorns. It took a while but I was soon clearing a hole and then I hit something. It was plastic and when I tapped it there was a thud as if it was hollow behind.

Suddenly this seemed familiar and I put down the clippers and started ripping at the thorns to get them out of the way quicker. Soon I could see the flat faded plastic. I put my hand against it and this time it moved, it swung away from the me and there was deep darkness.

"Wow." I gasped and I scrambled to move more of the thorns so I'd have enough room to get in.

"What is it?" Tina whispered.

"I don't know, I think it's a room." I replied.

I felt Tina step closer to me.

"It very dark in there." She said, "And it might not be safe."

"Says the clipper smuggler." I teased.

I didn't have to see her to know that Tina poked her tongue out at me.

I crawled into the darkness and felt the space around me; I was in some sort of room I guess. I stood up slowly but I didn't bump my head so I straightened up. The place smelt of damp plaster and old air, nobody had been in here for years. Well that wasn't surprising since it had been covered in so many weeds.

"I need a flash light." I called out to Tina.

"What for?" She asked.

"So I can see."

"Oh." There was the sound of shuffling then I felt Tina standing beside me with a little penlight that was too small to see anything. "What is this place?" She asked in a whisper.

"I don't know. Some kinda room it feels like." I whispered back.

"Hmmm…" Tina hummed thoughtfully as she swung the beam around, but it was too weak to make anything out. "Maybe there's a light."

I snorted.

Tina ignored me and aimed the torch toward the door.

"Ah-hah!" She cried out and suddenly there was a flickering and the hum of tube.

I blinked in the sudden light until I could see again, and when I did I gasped.

"This is wicked!" Tina said, clapping her hands. "It's like a secret club house."

And it was. This little hidden room even had two armchairs and a three-seat sofa surrounding a coffee table. I think the walls had originally been plastic like the door but someone had stuck plasterboard over it and painted it with lots of different colours, although they were starting to fade now. Over in one corner the wall had a big crack in it the led all the way to the ceiling from a dent.

"Hey Hunter. Look at these." Tina called.

She was standing by some pictures pinned to the wall. They were mainly sketches of places around La Push but one was a drawing of four people, there were two girls and one boy, but you couldn't work out what the fourth person was cause of water damage.

"They're ok." I said with a shrug.

"No Hunter. Look closer. Who do they look like?" She said, pointing at the people.

I shook my head but did it anyway or Tina would just bug me until I did. But as I looked closer I felt my mouth fall open.

"That looks like Harry and Susie and Sammie if they were still kids." I said.

Tina nodded her head.

"But the question is, why are there pictures of them here?" Tina said in a voice I dreaded.

"I don't know." I said with a shrug.

"And who is the fourth person?" She said in her detective voice.

"Could be anyone." I said, trying to stop her before she got into her role.

"Exactly." She declared.

I rolled my eyes, Tina was into Petunia Petal PI which was this totally babyish programme about this pink flower girl person who went around finding stuff for the other ickle flower folk that had usually been stolen by Dandy Lion and the Weeds. Tina always thought everything was mysterious.

"It's probably just one of the other kids from the Res that used to hang with them when they were kids." I pointed out.

"Then what were they doing hanging out in here?" Tina asked.

"Dun know, maybe Mom used to baby-sit before I was born and she'd let them hang out here." I said with a shrug.

Tina gave me a doubtful look.

"Let's go ask her." I said, reaching up to take down the portrait and a few of the other sketches.

Without waiting for an answer I headed back out through the door and around to the front of the house. I was surprised I could actually hear voices from inside.

"You should have seen them Tish, sneaking around with over sized gloves and hedge clippers. How quick he came up with the flimsy excuse, it reminded me so much of…" Mom was saying.

I pushed the door open.

"Hunter? Is that you?" Mom called.

"Yeah Mom." I said, going into the kitchen where she was sat talking to Tina's mom. "Hey Auntie Tish."

"Hey Hunter, I hear you've been doing some gardening." She said with a smile.

"Got to keep the yard looking good." I said with a nod of my head. "Ain't that right Teen?" I asked her as she came through the door.

"Yep." Tina agreed.

"And we decided to carry on without using the clippers, just the gloves. And guess what we found?" I said, feeling excited now.

"What?" Mom asked.

"There's a club house around the side. It was hidden by a load of weeds and stuff. But when we pulled them all away we found a door and it led into this really cool room with chairs and stuff. And there's these drawings on the wall." I said, handing them over. "Is that Harry, Sammie and Susie?"

Mom pulled the paper toward her and looked at it.

"I think it is. The Twins used to stay here when they were little if Daphne and Jim had to go out on patrol together and Harry was their friend. That clubhouse was your dad's garage when he was a teenager and he said they could play out in there. They kept on using it right up until they left school and then they didn't need it anymore. To tell the truth I'd forgotten it was there." Mom told us.

…Nice save…

I heard a voice in my head, but it wasn't my voice. It actually sounded like Auntie Tish, but her mouth hadn't moved and I knew I hadn't thought it. I frowned slightly but I didn't know what it was so I ignored it.

"Can we use it as a club house?" I asked brightly, because there was something in me that said I had to.

"Very well." Mom agreed.

Me and Tina gave a triumphant 'yes'.

"But not today. I want your father to have a look at it first to make sure it's still safe." Mom cautioned.

"Sure, sure." I agreed.

"Dinner's not ready yet so you can go back out to play if you want to, but don't wander too far. And no in the club house and…"

"No in the tool shed?" I finished.

"Hunter!" Mom warned.

I grinned.

"Now go on. Out."

"Come on Teen." I said and she followed me outside.

"What are we gonna do now?" Tina asked.

"How about I teach you how to climb that tree properly." I said with a smile.

"Sounds good to me."

We went back to Tina's tree and after about ten minuets we were sitting up on the lowest branch looking down over our dangling legs at the ground below.

"It's high up." She said.

"Yeah. That's what makes it fun." I said with a grin.

Tina giggled.

"So how did you know that place was there?" She asked, and I think she'd been wanting to for a while.

"I didn't." I answered with a shrug.

"But you knew you had to look there." She insisted.

I thought about this for a moment.

"Yep." I agreed, because it was true.

"How?"

"I don't know, I just did." I said with a frown.

"That's weird Hunter Black." She stated.

"Yep. But I guess that's me from now on, weird. And you will be too."

"I guess." She said. "Although I'll never be as weird as you."

"Hey!" I complained, but we both chuckled at that.

---

Dreams

Tina

Friday 24th January 2059

Dear diary, there's something I need to tell you. Something your predecessor knew but I haven't had to write this in your pages yet. But here goes.

I used to have bad dreams and I'd always wake up screaming from them. Sometimes I didn't remember the dream, but I know it was bad because I'd wake up with my heart racing and covered in sweat. Other times I remember clearly and I wish I could forget.

Sometimes I dream stuff I shouldn't even know, but I think it's my imagination working over time on the legend of my people. Be they vampire or werewolf, they're both comic book monsters and I guess that in my dream they get twisted from what I know is true in real life, such as Mom is not an undead blood-sucking fiend and half the grownups seem to belong to the pack, and they don't go tearing up the country every full moon.

Except in my dream vampires are cold killers who prey on the weak and werewolves are pathetic creatures who have no mind when the wolf is in control. I don't know where these images come from but they seem so real.

This one time I was in this fighting arena, like they have in them Roman movies, and there was this vampire with bright white hair, all spiked up like knives. And he wanted to kill me; only it wasn't me, because even though I was looking at him the eyes I was looking at him with weren't my eyes. They were somebody else's. There were voices and I turned and he bit. The fire that ripped through me had caused me to wake screaming.

I wouldn't go to sleep for two nights after that one until I got too tired and just had to sleep.

Then the dreams stopped and I didn't have any for a long long time. I didn't have any until last night and god was that one scary. Especially since it was just so out of the blue like that.

I'd been that other girl again, the one I dreamed myself as but wasn't me. I guess the dream caught me off guard because it didn't feel like a bad dream at first.

I was in a very round room sitting on a mat and I could hear the drip-drip of water nearby. Maybe the smell should have alerted me, damp and rot and mould and body odour, but it just didn't feel like a bad dream. In fact I felt happy despite the dire surroundings.

I was busy talking to a woman who was sat on a mat across from me. She was hunched over with a blanket pulled around her shoulders, but she seemed to be happy enough with my chatter. But then she started breathing funny and she got up on her knees, tearing at the bandage on her arm. There were marks under there, scram marks that were all icky and gross, but they seemed to clean up and become scars in seconds.

Then I smelt something, so delicious, it burned my throat in the blood hunger. I never craved human blood but I knew from what some vamps had told me that it burned your throat.

This is how I imagine it felt like, the hunger and suddenly I wanted the woman's blood and I realised that she wanted mine too. She lunged at me, turning into a wolf and I shrieked, throwing my arms up to try and fend her off.

I jumped backwards and seemed to fall back into my body before my eyes snapped open.

I sat up, pushing back my hair as I tried to forget the dream. I just hoped it was a one off, that this was a result of drinking blood for the first time. I hope it's not a sign of things to come.

Saturday 25th January 2059

Dear diary, as you can imagine I was a bit apprehensive going to sleep last night thanks to the dream from the night before. I felt that fear that I hadn't had since I was a baby, knowing that the monsters could get me in my dream. It was funny really, as I started dreaming I could feel the bad dream coming and I pushed against it, and it didn't take me.

Instead I found myself out in the forest. It was the one around here but it was one of those rare sunny days so you had all the shafts of sunlight. A herd of deer ran around me and I turned to watch them before something else streaked past.

He was going too fast to make out properly, but I knew who it was.

"Hey Cuz." I called.

Hunter Black stopped quickly, almost like a cartoon with pine needles flying around him. He turned and came back to me frowning.

"Tina?" He said.

"Yep."

He poked me.

"Ow!" I exclaimed because he had hurt me.

"That's really you." He said. "Not a dream you."

"Well I'm dreaming." I pointed out.

"Yeah. But so am I." He replied. "This is my dream and you're invading it."

"Not on purpose." I murmured.

Hunter didn't look convinced.

"You read minds after you feed right? I do too. I fed today and maybe that unlocked my mind enough for them to link together and that's how we can both be here. It's like some dream place for telepaths."

Hunter considered this then nodded his head.

"I can work with that one."

I smiled and the day seemed to get sunnier, as if the weather was connected to my mood. And I think the dream place can be affected by my mood, and Hunter's too, but I'll have to do some more experimenting first since I've been there only the once and maybe it works differently if I enter it on my own. I don't know, I'll have to see.

The dream didn't last much longer after that because I woke up and it was morning.

I felt a little better, thanks mainly to the fact that it's Saturday and no school. Not that I find school boring or anything, actually I really like school, but you still got to rest and I was looking forward to trying out my new mind reading on my friends, not that I'd let them know I read their minds. None of them are allowed to know what I am because most of them don't even know that all the stories are true. Only Hunter knows, but that's because he's just like me.

Talking of Hunter it was kind of strange today. He actually came to call on me, which was completely unexpected. I mean he's never knocked at my actual door before other then if Auntie Ness had sent him over with a message for Mama. So I just expected him to ask to see Mama when I opened the door to him but he asked if I wanted to come out to play.

I was confused but said 'sure'. He was acting all weird as we walked over to his house where our clubhouse was. Hunter probably has too much confidence and usually struts around the Res like he owns it, but today he had his head down and he was very quiet.

As we entered the clubhouse I was wondering where all Hunter's friends were, this place was usually crowded with kids, especially when it was raining as heavy as it was today.

'I haven't called for them yet I wanted to speak to you first.' Hunter said to me using his mind talk.

"What about?"

"Did you…did you have a dream last night?"

"The one where we were in the forest and you poked me and said I was real?" I asked.

Hunter looked at me shocked and said, "We really did have the same dream?"

I nodded.

"So." I said. "Hunter the hunter dreams about hunting?"

"It's been a while since my last hunt, sometimes my dreams tell me what I want."

"I never liked my dreams, they were always scary. But your dream was nice. It felt safe there."

"Safe?"

"My old dreams…" I didn't want to tell him anymore.

Even though me and Hunter are the same, he's still a boy and they like to tease you. I didn't want to tell him too much about my bad dreams in case he told the others about them.

"It's better not to know."

Hunter shrugged.

"So what you doing today?" He asked.

I shrugged.

"You wanna play Wolves and Vamps?"

"My lot against your lot?"

"To start with."

"As long as we get to be Wolves first."

Hunter agreed and we gathered up our friends and played all day. We were about even, even though Hunter's friends are two years older than mine.

Wolves and Vamps: It's a game we play here for fun. Basically you split into two even teams. One team are 'Wolves' and the other 'Vamps'. We play it around the Res but it's more fun in the trees. We start off from the marker on First Beach. The Wolves all count to 100 while the Vamps run off to hide or to dodge. After 100 the Wolves take off to hunt the Vamps. Time is up once all the Vamps are caught and put 'in jail' which is really just one of the parking spaces in the little lot. One of the wolves acts as guard and the vamps are not allowed to escape. Then we swap over. The winners are whoever managed to capture all the vamps in the quickest time.

Although there was argument over time since we didn't really have a stopwatch. Guess that's something I could get next time I go to Port Angeles with Mama. Although I think part of the fun is arguing over the time.

Today was great, but I'm exhausted now. Can't wait to settle down to sleep.

I wonder if I'll dream?

---

If there are any other outtakes you would like to read, any subject or any viewpoint, within reason, let me know and I'll see what I can do.

Thank you for reading

Please review, I'd like to know what you think of Hunter and Tina so far

Gemma x