Author's Note: I don't take full credit for this idea. The original concept of this story was conceived in the "6th Season Hey Arnold!" forums, under the title "Grandpa's Famous Enemy". This is merely a re-imagining of how the story could have potentially been.

Arnold and his friends were playing baseball in Gerald Field when they noticed the first van drive by. At first, they just ignored it, but when Arnold had hit a fly ball onto the other of the street, he and the other children became acutely aware that several large white fans were going down the street in a line.

"What do you reckon is going on, Arnold?" asked a befuddled Stinky.

"I don't know, Stinky," replied Arnold. "But I intend to find out."

The children postponed their baseball game and, with their curiosity getting the better of them, followed the vehicles on foot, by bike, and by any other apparatus they had to get them mobile. Eventually – and to Arnold's surprise – the vehicles had stopped right in front of Sunset Arms.

"Hey Arnold – is everything alright?" asked Gerald. "Why are all these vans stopping here?"

A final vehicle pulled in front of the boarding house – a long black limo. Out of the limo emerged a middle-aged man in sunglasses and a greying ponytail. The kids, who were all hiding in a nearby alley and scoping out the scene, watched as the man ascended the steps of the boarding house and knocked on the front door.

Sid grabbed onto Arnold as though he would tear his shirt off. "Arnold, do you KNOW who that is?"

"Not really," admitted Arnold. "Should I?"

"Is that….yeah, I definitely think it is….oh man….!" Exclaimed Harold.

"Slow down, big boy," said Gerald. "So who is that guy?"

"It's Gilbert C. Ratta – the legendary horror movie director!" said Sid, barely able to contain his excitement.

"Oh, come on – are you blind?" snapped an unimpressed Helga. "No way that's Gil Ratta – what business would he have scoping out a dump like Arnold's place? No offense, football-head."

Arnold rolled his eyes.

"Who cares WHY he's here?" said Harold. "I'm gonna see if I can get his autograph WHILE he's here!" Harold left the safety of the alley to go to the boarding house, but not before the other kids tried to restrain him.

"Don't be stupid, Harold!" said Sid. "You wanna scare the guy off?"

"Yeah, don't be a dadgum fanboy!" added Stinky.

"But Ratta's like my hero – I just gotta meet him!"

As the group was distracted with trying to subdue a zealous Harold, the door to Sunset Arms finally opened. A crowd of cats and dogs (followed by a solitary pig), filed out of the boarding house and down the street, and then Grandpa appeared at the entrance.

"Hey there, Phil! Long time no see, huh?"

"Can I help you?" asked Grandpa.

"Come on, old-timer, is hasn't been that long? Don't you remember me?"

Phil looked the newcomer up and down, then shrugged. "Sorry, can't say I have?"

The man at the door was unfazed. "Ah, you old trickster! It's me Phil – it's Gilbert!"

"Gilbert, Gilbert, no sorry that name doesn't ring a bell, but thanks for playing – have a good day!" Grandpa was about to slam the door in his face, but a foot came out of nowhere and prevented it from closing.

"Holy smokes!" exclaimed Ernie, who was suddenly at the entrance with Grandpa. "It's famed horror director Gilbert C. Ratta!"

"The one and only," Gilbert smiled.

Mr. Hyunh came to the door as well. "Gilbert C. Ratta? Ohh – I love his movies! They are so very creepy!"

"Oskar!" came the voice of Suzie from within the boarding house. "You have to come see! Gilbert C. Ratta is here!"

Oskar poked his head out from the kitchen. "Gilbert C. Ratta? Oh boy, oh boy – he must've finally read the screenplay!"

"What are you out here in the cold? Come on Grandpa, invite our guest in!"

The hands of several boarders reached out and literally pulled Gilbert in to the boarding house before Grandpa could offer a word of objection. Inside, Gilbert slowly took in the interior of the building and whistled. "Wow…this place hasn't changed one bit. I gotta hand it to ya, Phil – you certainly knew how to keep the charge of this old place intact!"

"So what brings you in the neighborhood?" asked an engrossed Ernie.

"Yes, and are you looking for a writer for your next screenplay?"

"Well boys," said Gilbert as he made his way past Grandpa and made himself comfortable in his favourite couch. "To tell you the truth, I was on a little reconnaissance mission. I was looking for the perfect locale for my next film, and I think I just found it."

"You mean…"

"That's right – I want to film Blood & Gore right here in the boarding house!"

"Oh no, absolutely not!" exclaimed Grandpa.

"But Phil—"

But before Gilbert could finish his sentence, Harold burst through the doors made his way toward the director (even with Stinky and Sid trying their hardest to contain him).

"I can't believe you're here!" said Harold. "You are my idol! I swear I must've seen Blood & Gore 1-4 like eleven times each! Could you please sign my head?"

"Uh, well maybe I'll just sign our hat instead," said Gilbert as he took Harold's blue hat in one hand and signed it with a pen in the other. "Say, how would you like to be an extra in my next movie?"

"Are you kidding?! That would be like a dream come true!"

"Well, don't let me stop you from pinching yourself, because the dream has officially become a reality. You're in it. In fact, all of you can play extras in the next installment of the Blood & Gore franchise, set to be filmed right here in the decrepitly beautiful Sunset Arms!"

Boarders and children exclaimed alike at the news, and everyone began to chatter excitedly. Everyone, that is, except Grandpa, who walked to the centre of the room to get everyone's attention.

"Wait a minute – wait a minute! Now I'm the owner of this property and I say no way in heck any sort of nonsense slasher film getting filmed in this boarding house!"

"What?!" yelled Ernie angrily.

"Grandpa, how can you say that?" said Oskar. "His movies are like an institution. By filming here, this place is transformed from a dump to a work of art!"

"Stop calling me grandpa, and stop calling this place a dump!" yelled Grandpa. "What I say goes, and what I say is that there will absolutely no filming here!"

The entire group in the boarding house groaned in disappointment.

Gil scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Gee, Phil…I dunno what to say. I've always had such good memories of the boarding house…I'd thought you'd be happy that I chose this place…"

"Yeah, well guess what, you chose wrong, life's funny that way huh? Now I want you and you little entourage out of here, pronto!"

Grandpa opened the front door, and a dejected crowd filed out of the boarding house, grumbling along the way. Oskar, Mr. Hyunh, and Ernie sulked as they ascended the steps upstairs to their respective rooms.

As the last one to leave, Gilbert turned around one last time when he was standing at the top of the stoop.

"You're right – it's a bit much to consider. Why don't you sleep on it; take a night to realize how much good the exposure could do for a place like this. I'll be back tomorrow morning when you've thought it over."

Phil slammed the door in his face. "Yeah, don't hold your breath, Gil." He chuckled softly to himself and brushed his hands together in smug satisfaction, but when he turned around he was facing his grandson Arnold, who folded his arms together and had a disappointed look on his face.

"Grandpa," he said. "You knew all along who that man was, didn't you?"

Grandpa sighed in defeat. "Okay, Shortman – ya got me.I knew exactly who that was. Guy practically grew up here."

"Then why did you lie?"

"Because he was a little terror when he lived here!" exclaimed Grandpa, walking past Arnold and making a beeline for the kitchen. "Even as a little kid, Gilbert was always breaking things and filming things and just making a monster of a mess for you and your Grandmother to pick up. In fact, after he moved out, he was the reason we put up the "No Kids" sign, I couldn't bear to have another Gilbert living in this building!"

"But it sounds like he really wants to do right by this boarding house, Grandpa!" countered Arnold. "And I think he really loves the place – while else would he choose it for the location of his next movie? I think he's trying to redeem himself?"

"Yeah well, I don't know…" Grandpa opened the fridge and pulled out a pint of raspberries, then started popping them into his mouth one by one.

Arnold looked at him quizzically. "Uh, Grandpa…what are you doing?"

"I'm stress eating, Shortman," Grandpa said matter-of-factly.

"But don't you always say…"

"'Never eat raspberries'. Well, thanks to this little episode with Gilbert, I feel like the only way to get my mind of the stress is to stress another part of my body, and I ain't talking about my brain."

Arnold sighed. "Look. Just give it some thought like Gilbert said. I know you two didn't see eye to eye when he lived here. But who knows? Maybe if you let him do the movie here, you and him could wind up being the best of friends."

Grandpa's stomach gurgled, and he placed both hands on his belly. "Uh-huh. Well as touching as that sentiment is, the only friend I'd rather get acquainted with is my porcelain pal on the second floor. Now if you'll excuse me."

Grandpa quickly exited the kitchen and ran up the stairs.

Later that night, Grandpa was tossing and turning in bed as he mulled over the days events.

"Uh…lousy Gilbert," muttered Grandpa. "Stupid raspberries…if only there was a way I could…*gasp*…that's it!"

Grandpa leapt out of bed in his underwear and sat at the desk in his room, scribbling furiously on a piece of paper and laughing malevolently all the while.