Tom couldn't stand it anymore…

They were all dressed in white, laughing and having fun. But now, he just wanted to be alone, dressed in black, and mourn for the loss of his beloved wife.

And yet, everything had very well begun. For the first time in a long time, he was looking forward to something and he was almost excited to see the day of the cricket's game to arrive.

And he was feeling light this morning, as if a burden ha been removed from his shoulders. He had a job to take his mind of his loss, a place to live with his daughter. It wasn't Ireland but, at least, he could be close to the love of his life and visit her every day.

Then suddenly, everything went wrong.

It took one look, just a single look towards the white tent to ruin his mood.

Here they were, Mathew and Mary, fussing over his daughter. His and Sybil's daughter. And it felt wrong. So wrong. It should be Sybil in cuddling her baby. Not Mary. It should be Sybil who screams after him to encourage him. It should be Sybil who he would bring back tonight in their room and make love to her all night long. But no, he'll just find an empty bed. There was nothing to change this simple knowledge.

And suddenly, it was too much for him. Feeling tears in his eyes, he moved away quickly from the sports ground with big and fast steps. He didn't want them to see his distress and sorrow. He couldn't show them that he was still a mess.

He found a big tree and hid behind it, not caring about the voices that were calling after him. He wanted to be alone and cried for his lost love. Couldn't they understand that?

As all his body was shaking with sobs, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Tom ?" Asked Matthew gently.

Tom shook his head, his sobs increasing.

"I miss her so much…"

"I know, Tom, I know…"

"I just need a few minutes by myself."

"You shouldn't stay alone, Tom. Come back with us. I think Sybil miss her dad."

Tom tried to smile at this attempt from Matthew but he just succeeded in a sort of grimace.

"She should be there. With us. With her baby. She was so young and full of love and life."

"I'm sure she's somewhere, watching us. And that she's happy to see you get along with Robert."

This time, Tom really smiled through his tears.

"She probably can't believe it!" Breathed Tom.

"Come on. We have a match to win", said Matthew, pushing Tom in his back." And you are our best chance so don't let us down."

"Thank you, Matthew. For being here for me and my daughter. "

"You're welcome. But you have to know that you don't have to hide to cry. You have the right to feel sad so don't bother for them. They'll understand."

Tom nodded but didn't answer. Because he knew he was too proud to cry in front of the Crawley's family. But for now, Matthew did help to increase his mood and he was ready to enjoy his day as much as he could.

Because deep inside him, he knew that tonight, he'll cry himself to sleep as he was doing it since Sybil was cruelly taken away from him.

And he knew for sure that it will be the same until his last breath leaves him.

THE END