The Garden, Part One
A Dukes of Hazzard fanfic by Clarice_Lecter
PREMISE: What if Rosco and Daisy fell in love?
DISCLAIMER: The characters of Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy Duke, Jesse Duke, J.D. Hogg, Rosco P. Coltrane, Flash, Enos Strate, Cooter Davenport, and Lulu Hogg are the exclusive property of Warner Brothers Productions and their affiliates. No infringement of any kind is intended.
Friends and neighbors, this was a summer like no other in the record books. Boss Hogg actually relented and had a community swimmin' pool constructed at the Hazzard County Youth Center, since the lakes was dryin' up on account of El Nino. An' in the spirit of good will, he gave Bo an' Luke jobs as lifeguards, since Enos couldn't swim an' he wanted to keep Rosco on patrol an' out of the Boar's Nest, where he's been stayin' every chance he gets. An' that's how our story begins...
"Rosco, this is the third time you've been in here today," a perplexed Daisy Duke said when she saw the county's fiftysomething Sheriff walking in, carrying his equally overheated basset hound Flash as he did. It wasn't even 11:00 in the morning yet, and it was already 90 degrees outside.
"Well, my little fat buddy won't spring fer air-conditionin' for all the police vehicles," Rosco replied. "An' top it all off, this dang uniform an' hat's roastin' me like a Christmas turkey---not to mention li'l ol' Flash here gettin' a touch of th' heatstroke now an' then, khee-khee..."
Daisy fixed a dish of cold water for Flash, then poured Rosco some grape Gatorade over ice. "Boss won't even letcha have a cool drink in your patrol car, sugar?" she now asked.
Rosco took a few gulps of the Gatorade, then wiped his brow with a napkin. "Nope, nope, nope. Fat li'l meadow muffin won't allow drinkin' on the job, even if it's buttermilk. He could put in a pool at the community center, but he won't take care of his police department...I'm sorry, Daisy, I shouldn't be unloadin' around you..."
"Rosco, it's perfectly all right. Even if that brother-in-law of yours don't like us Dukes that much, you can talk to me anytime. About anything."
Rosco continued sipping his Gatorade, the electrolytes returning to his system and cooling him down. He and Daisy had been talking a lot lately, sometimes talking for hours upon hours...
Rosco, when in God's name are you gonna tell her how ya feel? he scolded himself in his mind. Ya can't run from it forever, ya dipstick...
Rosco's eyes never left Daisy as she continued on with her chores. She was getting the Boar's Nest ready for the lunchtime crowd, and she was working harder than a bouncer in a tittie bar...
"Hot damn, but she's amazing," he now thought to himself. "All the purty gals in the world, an' I never really noticed Daisy before..."
As he was watching her, he could feel himself becoming very warm, very aroused...
Flash's paw scratching at his foot stopped Rosco's chain of thought. "Gg-ggt!" he exclaimed, coming back to himself. "Flash, girl, are ya done drinkin' already?"
He hurriedly finished his Gatorade, then picked up his two turkey sandwiches before starting back on patrol with Flash. "Rosco, you're forgettin' something," Daisy called out, stopping him before he cranked up his squad car.
"Gg-ggt!" he exclaimed again. "What're you talkin' about? I gotta get back on patrol---!"
Daisy brought out a large, cold bottle of water. "Somethin' t'keep you cool, to go with your sandwiches," she replied, slipping him the bottle just as Boss Hogg started calling on the C.B..
"Rosco? Rosco, ya got'cher ears on, you knucklehead?" Boss scolded over the C.B.. Rosco took the C.B. receiver in his right hand, and the bottle of water in the other.
"This is Sheriff Rosco, come back."
"Rosco, I hope you an' your mangy hound's on patrol an' not at th' damn Boar's Nest! I swear, you've been goin' ovah there an awful lot lately---!"
"Boss, I just pulled somebody over in th' speed trap, an' it turned out they wasn't doin' nothin' wrong---!"
"That's beside the point! Now listen, you get yourself ovah to Enos' lookout post on Cedar Ridge right away---I'm sendin' him to Atlanta this afternoon on official police business, so get yo'self some sandwiches, it's gonna be a long day! You heah?"
The whole time Rosco and Boss talked, Rosco's left hand had wound its way around Daisy's. His fingers had even entangled with hers...
"That's a big ten-four, li'l fat buddy! I'm gone!"
Just as he set the receiver back, Rosco finally noticed that he and Daisy had been holding hands. "Ohhhh-oh," he now said, giggling like a schoolboy as he released her hand. "Gotta go to Cedar Ridge---somehow, th' dipstick got hisself a day trip to Atlanta, khee-khee-khee!"
"Hey, listen, you an' Flash get thirsty again, you know how to get here," Daisy grinned.
As Rosco drove off, Daisy had a lot of questions in her mind...
"Why'd he hold my hand while he talked to Boss? An' how come I liked it?"
Friends, now you're startin' to get the picture. They ain't sure how it's happened, or why it's happened, but they ain't no doubt about it...
Rosco and Daisy are in love.
Meanwhile, Bo an' Luke got to talkin' to Cooter about the change in Rosco the last couple of months, how he'd started goin' to the Boar's Nest for any opportunity to talk to Daisy, an' how he'd stopped chasin' them all over Creation just because Boss Hogg thought it'd be amusing...
"Am I to understand that Daisy's started spendin' most of her free time with Rosco?" Cooter asked, all confused.
"It sure looks that way," Luke replied. "Every chance he gets, he's in the Boar's Nest and they're talkin' up a storm. She's sneakin' him an' Flash bottled water an' Gatorade because Boss won't have the squad cars air-conditioned---!"
"She does that for Enos, too!" Cooter interjected.
"Yeah, but she an' Enos don't talk the way they used to," Bo now admitted. "Matter of fact, she an' Enos only say 'hi' and 'bye' to each other now---it's been that way since he left her at the alter last year."
"Really," Luke chimed in. "'Weddin' called on account of hives,' my ass---he wasn't gonna marry Daisy a bit more than shit."
"Now Lukas K., when'd you start comin' down with SOUTH PARK potty-mouth disease?" Cooter said.
Bo shook his head. "Daisy an' Rosco...who'd have thunk it?
"Then again, when you think about it," Luke chuckled, "ol' Enos Strate is about as exciting as watchin' paint dry on Uncle Jesse's barn. At least Rosco's got SOME experience!"
END OF PART ONE
A Dukes of Hazzard fanfic by Clarice_Lecter
PREMISE: What if Rosco and Daisy fell in love?
DISCLAIMER: The characters of Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy Duke, Jesse Duke, J.D. Hogg, Rosco P. Coltrane, Flash, Enos Strate, Cooter Davenport, and Lulu Hogg are the exclusive property of Warner Brothers Productions and their affiliates. No infringement of any kind is intended.
Friends and neighbors, this was a summer like no other in the record books. Boss Hogg actually relented and had a community swimmin' pool constructed at the Hazzard County Youth Center, since the lakes was dryin' up on account of El Nino. An' in the spirit of good will, he gave Bo an' Luke jobs as lifeguards, since Enos couldn't swim an' he wanted to keep Rosco on patrol an' out of the Boar's Nest, where he's been stayin' every chance he gets. An' that's how our story begins...
"Rosco, this is the third time you've been in here today," a perplexed Daisy Duke said when she saw the county's fiftysomething Sheriff walking in, carrying his equally overheated basset hound Flash as he did. It wasn't even 11:00 in the morning yet, and it was already 90 degrees outside.
"Well, my little fat buddy won't spring fer air-conditionin' for all the police vehicles," Rosco replied. "An' top it all off, this dang uniform an' hat's roastin' me like a Christmas turkey---not to mention li'l ol' Flash here gettin' a touch of th' heatstroke now an' then, khee-khee..."
Daisy fixed a dish of cold water for Flash, then poured Rosco some grape Gatorade over ice. "Boss won't even letcha have a cool drink in your patrol car, sugar?" she now asked.
Rosco took a few gulps of the Gatorade, then wiped his brow with a napkin. "Nope, nope, nope. Fat li'l meadow muffin won't allow drinkin' on the job, even if it's buttermilk. He could put in a pool at the community center, but he won't take care of his police department...I'm sorry, Daisy, I shouldn't be unloadin' around you..."
"Rosco, it's perfectly all right. Even if that brother-in-law of yours don't like us Dukes that much, you can talk to me anytime. About anything."
Rosco continued sipping his Gatorade, the electrolytes returning to his system and cooling him down. He and Daisy had been talking a lot lately, sometimes talking for hours upon hours...
Rosco, when in God's name are you gonna tell her how ya feel? he scolded himself in his mind. Ya can't run from it forever, ya dipstick...
Rosco's eyes never left Daisy as she continued on with her chores. She was getting the Boar's Nest ready for the lunchtime crowd, and she was working harder than a bouncer in a tittie bar...
"Hot damn, but she's amazing," he now thought to himself. "All the purty gals in the world, an' I never really noticed Daisy before..."
As he was watching her, he could feel himself becoming very warm, very aroused...
Flash's paw scratching at his foot stopped Rosco's chain of thought. "Gg-ggt!" he exclaimed, coming back to himself. "Flash, girl, are ya done drinkin' already?"
He hurriedly finished his Gatorade, then picked up his two turkey sandwiches before starting back on patrol with Flash. "Rosco, you're forgettin' something," Daisy called out, stopping him before he cranked up his squad car.
"Gg-ggt!" he exclaimed again. "What're you talkin' about? I gotta get back on patrol---!"
Daisy brought out a large, cold bottle of water. "Somethin' t'keep you cool, to go with your sandwiches," she replied, slipping him the bottle just as Boss Hogg started calling on the C.B..
"Rosco? Rosco, ya got'cher ears on, you knucklehead?" Boss scolded over the C.B.. Rosco took the C.B. receiver in his right hand, and the bottle of water in the other.
"This is Sheriff Rosco, come back."
"Rosco, I hope you an' your mangy hound's on patrol an' not at th' damn Boar's Nest! I swear, you've been goin' ovah there an awful lot lately---!"
"Boss, I just pulled somebody over in th' speed trap, an' it turned out they wasn't doin' nothin' wrong---!"
"That's beside the point! Now listen, you get yourself ovah to Enos' lookout post on Cedar Ridge right away---I'm sendin' him to Atlanta this afternoon on official police business, so get yo'self some sandwiches, it's gonna be a long day! You heah?"
The whole time Rosco and Boss talked, Rosco's left hand had wound its way around Daisy's. His fingers had even entangled with hers...
"That's a big ten-four, li'l fat buddy! I'm gone!"
Just as he set the receiver back, Rosco finally noticed that he and Daisy had been holding hands. "Ohhhh-oh," he now said, giggling like a schoolboy as he released her hand. "Gotta go to Cedar Ridge---somehow, th' dipstick got hisself a day trip to Atlanta, khee-khee-khee!"
"Hey, listen, you an' Flash get thirsty again, you know how to get here," Daisy grinned.
As Rosco drove off, Daisy had a lot of questions in her mind...
"Why'd he hold my hand while he talked to Boss? An' how come I liked it?"
Friends, now you're startin' to get the picture. They ain't sure how it's happened, or why it's happened, but they ain't no doubt about it...
Rosco and Daisy are in love.
Meanwhile, Bo an' Luke got to talkin' to Cooter about the change in Rosco the last couple of months, how he'd started goin' to the Boar's Nest for any opportunity to talk to Daisy, an' how he'd stopped chasin' them all over Creation just because Boss Hogg thought it'd be amusing...
"Am I to understand that Daisy's started spendin' most of her free time with Rosco?" Cooter asked, all confused.
"It sure looks that way," Luke replied. "Every chance he gets, he's in the Boar's Nest and they're talkin' up a storm. She's sneakin' him an' Flash bottled water an' Gatorade because Boss won't have the squad cars air-conditioned---!"
"She does that for Enos, too!" Cooter interjected.
"Yeah, but she an' Enos don't talk the way they used to," Bo now admitted. "Matter of fact, she an' Enos only say 'hi' and 'bye' to each other now---it's been that way since he left her at the alter last year."
"Really," Luke chimed in. "'Weddin' called on account of hives,' my ass---he wasn't gonna marry Daisy a bit more than shit."
"Now Lukas K., when'd you start comin' down with SOUTH PARK potty-mouth disease?" Cooter said.
Bo shook his head. "Daisy an' Rosco...who'd have thunk it?
"Then again, when you think about it," Luke chuckled, "ol' Enos Strate is about as exciting as watchin' paint dry on Uncle Jesse's barn. At least Rosco's got SOME experience!"
END OF PART ONE