A/N: Hey guys, first chapter of my latest fanfic, Paws. Terrible title, I know, but I tried, honestly. It was between that and 'Surprise!', suggested by my little cousin.

Anywho, on to the story. Enjoy!

Rated T for Hidan's, Katie's and Melissa's excessive swearing.

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, would I be writing fanfiction?

-x-

"Fuck me, my head hurts. What the fuck happened?"

Hidan peeled open his eyes to reveal almost total darkness. He could see only himself, some unmoving lumps nearby, and the soggy brown cardboard that made up the walls of wherever he and the lumps had appeared. He assumed they were the other unconscious members of the Akatsuki, and ignored them for the meantime. He rubbed his head and began to sit up. When he was fully upright, he had the nagging feeling that there was something wrong with his situation. He slowly raised his hand in front of his face, and his resulting scream at what he saw could have woke the dead.

"HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? I'VE GOT PAWS!" he shrieked.

His shout brought Itachi, who was nearby, out of his peaceful unconsciousness.

"Shut up Hidan, I'm trying to sleep," he said, in his usual emotionless tone.

"Itachi! I'm a cat! A fucking cat!" Hidan yelled, his tail whipping wildly in his distress.

Sighing, Itachi opened his eyes and glared straight at Hidan. Even in the dark, Hidan could feel the waves of killer intent rolling off the Uchiha and being directed straight at him.

"If you don't be quiet right now and stop making up idiotic stories about you being a feline, Hidan, the only thing you'll be seeing for the next three days is my Tsukuyomi, never mind your 'paws'."

Hidan gulped, but, being the idiot with no sense of impending doom that he is, carried on regardless.

"Listen Uchiha, I really am a cat! I've got paws, and fur, and I think I've even got a fucking tail!" he snapped. "I think I'd know if I was fucking lying."

"I warned you," Itachi sighed, before swiftly turning his head to the direction of Hidan's voice and activating his Sharingan.

"Tsukuyomi!"

"..."

"Uh, Itachi? You're either fucking blind already, or your Mangekyo isn't working," Hidan snickered.

"What?" Itachi sat up and brought his hands to his face, but to his dismay, he realised they weren't hands, but silky black paws, and the rest of his body was covered in the same glossy, ebony fur. To make his predicament even worse, Hidan was right; his Sharingan wouldn't activate properly, and he couldn't even sense any trace of chakra in his body.

After composing himself, he calmly said "Hidan, it seems I've been proved wrong."

Hidan tipped his kitten head to the side in confusion. "Huh?"

"...I've become a cat too."

Hidan burst out laughing at this. "HA! The mighty Itachi Uchiha is a helpless little kitty!" he crowed. "I'm so scared of him now; he's going to put me in his Tsukuyomi!"

"I may be a cat, but that now means I have claws, which I could easily use to wipe that grin straight off your whiskered little face," Itachi said, his voice monotone, yet still venomous. "Also, I have noticed that I have no chakra, and seeing as I can't sense any of yours, I think the same applies to you. Therefore, you can't be immortal while in this body, so if you dare say anything like that to me again Hidan, I can, and will, kill you."

Well, at least I think he can't. Let's hope he doesn't figure out I'm bluffing... He added mentally.

If he was in his human form, Hidan would have blanched dramatically. Instead, he just froze up completely, and his slitted eyes widened dramatically.

"Shit, you're right! I don't have any chakra!" Hidan panicked. "Who the fuck did this to us?"

Itachi and Hidan both came to the same conclusion.

"TOBI!"

Said masked man's ears pricked up at the mention of his name and he looked around for whoever had called him.

"Yes? Who wants Tobi?" he answered with a yawn.

"WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TO US?!" roared Hidan, as he leapt onto Tobi's back, claws fully extended.

"Tobi hasn't done anything! What's happened?" he yelped, trying to throw the enraged silver kitten off of his (now punctured) back.

"You know exactly what you've done, you little retard!" Hidan hissed into his ear.

Tobi finally freed himself by rolling over onto the other cat, then scrambled up and tried to run away from Hidan and his sharp claws, and unintentionally bumped into and tripped over a sleeping Pein.

"Ow! Tobi, what's going on here?" he grumbled, blinking groggily to try and adjust to the darkness.

"Tobi doesn't know, Leader-sama! Hidan is chasing Tobi and trying to hurt me!" he whimpered from somewhere behind him.

"That fucking idiot has turned us all into cats!" Hidan growled, jabbing a hooked claw in Tobi's general direction. "I look like more of an idiot than he does normally with all this fucking fur! And we've got no chakra, Itachi has no Sharingan, and I'm mortal!"

"Calm down Hidan. I'm sure it wasn't his fault, and unless you have any proof-"

Pein was interrupted by Hidan breaking out into another bout of laughter.

"What's so funny Hidan?" Itachi asked curiously, as he walked up behind him.

He tried to answer, but just went off into another fit of giggles. Itachi followed Hidan's gaze and saw he was laughing at Pein, who was giving the laughing kitten a strange look. Once he had calmed down a bit, he replied to Itachi.

"Just look at Leader! He's so fucking ginger! Even in the dark I can see his fur!" he sniggered.

Pein's whiskers twitched in annoyance, while Itachi just sighed.

"You're laughing that hard because of the colour of my fur, Hidan? Have you forgotten that I am your leader and in your state I could kill you where you stand?" Pein said, with a tone that chilled Hidan to the core.

While their conversation was taking place, the rest of the members of the Akatsuki were beginning to wake up and started to panic when they saw what had happened to them all.

Deidara awoke first, and woke up quite a few of the others when he screamed at the tiny mouths he still had on his front two paws. Surprisingly for him, they screamed back.

Sasori was closest to Deidara, and got the full brunt of his scream(s), so woke up grumbling about how he should stop being such a brat and respect his superiors, before he noticed what he had screamed at. He just smirked and told the blonde that he thought he looked even more like a female as a cat, causing Deidara to attack him, miss, and land on Kisame, who kicked him off before running round looking for Itachi and Samehada.

Zetsu woke up next, his black half snickering at the mayhem.

"Ha, look at these idiots. We're supposed to be the Akatsuki, and here they are screaming over such a trivial thing. Oh shut up, you won't be saying that when you realise that we're a cat too," Zetsu argued.

Black Zetsu's amber eye widened and he leaped over to Pein to demand what was going on, much to White Zetsu's annoyance.

Hidan ran over to wake up Kakuzu, who just swatted him away and told him to go and talk to Leader-sama because he didn't care about his problems, until Hidan mentioned that he didn't have any money in his cat form, which almost made the old cheapskate break down crying.

Tobi just sat happily in a corner, enjoying his new-found flexibility and was 'cleaning' himself.

The last to wake up was Konan, who took one look at her bright blue fur and passed out again, causing everyone else to stop what they were doing and go over to find out what the faint thud was.

Pein tried to wake her up by nudging her gently with a paw, but gave up with a sigh a few seconds later, deciding she needed to recover from the shock first.

He could not be dealing with a hysterical female at the moment.

He took advantage of the fact that the rest of the kittens were distracted from their bickering, so got all of their attention and decided to take authority and make a plan to keep them alive and get them back into their human forms because as Hidan had said to Itachi, they were currently all just helpless little kittens.

"I'm sure I speak on behalf of everyone when I say that we need to make a plan if we are to survive in these bodies," he stated. "The most important things are as follows: we must not make it obvious to anyone who we really are, as we are still wanted criminals, in case any of you had forgotten," He shot a pointed glare at Hidan and Tobi, making some of the others laugh a little. "If any of our enemies were to find out about this, they could take advantage of us in our vulnerable states, so I think it is definitely best to keep our identities secret. If we need food and water, we will have to hunt for ourselves and drink from any water source we can find. We will not trust anyone but the people here right now, and we will always stay in at least groups of two to stay safe. Any questions?"

He received a few nods and grunts of agreement before surprisingly, Tobi spoke up.

"Leader-sama, what if somebody makes us into their pets? We're kitties, and some people have them as pets don't they?" he asked.

"Ha, we couldn't be pets. Deidara's mouths would scare the shit out of them," Hidan scoffed, earning a glare from said blonde. "And anyway, if any stupid heathens even try to take us in, I'd fucking skin their ass and sacrifice them to Jashin-sama!"

He was going to continue his rant, but Kakuzu's ears twitched at something he heard from outside, and he clamped a stitched paw over the albino's mouth to shut him up.

"Judging from the sounds I can hear from outside, you're going to be having a sacrifice a lot sooner than expected," he muttered.

The rest of the group fell silent and strained their ears to see what Kakuzu was talking about. It sounded like faint footsteps heading straight towards their cardboard prison.

"No matter who this is, do not blow our cover, or whoever does will suffer serious consequences. Understood?" Pein threatened.

The group all nodded while Kakuzu released Hidan before swiping at him for biting his paw.

-x-

(Outside, First Person: Melissa)

I'd just started walking up the driveway in front of Katie's house when I saw some random sealed up cardboard box on the lawn. Knowing Katie, I thought she'd either binbagged Demi or got another huge-ass delivery of cosplay shit. She did say she wanted a new Akatsuki cloak...

I went over to check it out and noticed it didn't have any stamps or anything on to say it was mail, and she wouldn't have sealed it up if she'd kicked someone out, it'd 'take too much effort'.

Lazy bitch.

Anyway, back to the box.

I nudged the thing with my foot and almost screamed when it moved. This creepy box actually moved.

Not much, but it was just enough to make me officially shit bricks.

I actually did scream a few seconds later though when I heard a scratching noise from inside and a load of meowing. I nearly fell over in shock. Instead, I ran the rest of the garden and almost kicked Katie's door down trying to get in.

Said ginger slammed open the door and sent a death glare my way.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Mel?" she snarled. "It's only 11AM and it sounds like you're already beating the shit out of my house!"

Did I mention Katie isn't much of a morning person?

Hm. Well she's not, if you hadn't already guessed.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but listen, that box meowed at me!" I stared daggers at the evil box then, hoping to kill whatever was inside. Probably the spawn of Satan if it dared to scare me like that.

"What? You woke me up at this time just to accuse that innocent cardboard box of being alive?" she said, raising an eyebrow.

"That box isn't fucking innocent! Honestly, I kicked it a little and it moved towards me then meowed," I snapped. "I swear to Jashin that thing is possessed or something."

Katie sighed in exasperation. "Melissa, boxes are inanimate objects. They can't move or talk, never mind meow. What's it even doing on my lawn anyway?"

"Exactly! That's why I went over in the first place, it's not mail because I can't see any stamps on it, and the only other thing I could think of was that you'd kicked Demi out, which I kinda doubt, considering you guys have been friends since like, forever."

"Weird," She sighed in defeat, running her fingers through her messy hair. "I guess I'll go check it out then, let me get some boots, I don't want to freeze my toes off looking at some stupid package," she muttered, going back into the hallway and dragging on some random wellies.

While she was struggling with the shoes, I walked back over to the lawn and stared at the now silent box, silently wishing I had a Byakugan to see what freaked me out earlier without having to go any closer.

Katie stomped over then, armed with a knife to cut the tape on the top of the mysterious box and stab its contents if they tried anything on her. Even she looked a bit creeped out by it.

I stepped back a bit as she slowly started to slice the tape, making sure I'd still be able to see inside without getting attacked by the meowing thing from the depths of Hell.

Katie quickly sliced the rest of the way and slowly pried open the top, accidentally blocking my view when it was completely open.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she facepalmed. "This is seriously gonna get annoying."

-x-

A/N: So, thought I'd cut it off there as this will seriously go on far too long if I don't.

What did you guys think? Tell me your opinions and views on this chapter and what you'd like to happen next in a comment or message :D

See you soon!

- Ginge x